THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Episode 2.31 - "Liam Smith And The Convention Of Doom!"
Written by Jesse Glaspey EXT. A Las Vegas Highway. We see a sign saying "Welcome to Nevada" it's very quiet on the highway. Suddenly, a disgusting yellow rusted out Corvette crashes through the sign and continues speeding down the highway... we see it's driver and passenger... It's Jesse Glaspey driving and Jonathan Krueger is in the passenger seat. JONATHAN You just drove through a sign. JESSE Oh yeah, we might ruin the paint on the car... Are we making good time or what? JONATHAN Good point. The car continues driving as Sid Vicious' cover of "My Way" continues playing as they drive past a sign saying "Las Vegas: 50 miles". Meanwhile... INT. A DARK AND SINISTER UNDERGROUND LAIR. The Tribunal of Evil is scheming once again... TRIBUNAL 1 It's all coming together! TRIBUNAL 2 We finally will be able to gain vengeance on Capeman, The Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham!!! TRIBUNAL 3 And we'll finally be able to sacrifice Liam Smith!! TRIBUNAL 4 And his friends shall suffer as well!!! TRIBUNAL 5 What shall be our weapon of Revenge? TRIBUNAL 1 The most feared of all killers... TRIBUNAL 2 The unstoppable force... TRIBUNAL 3 THE OMEGA NERDS!!! TRIBUNAL 4 SWEET JESUS!!! That's too much! TRIBUNAL 5 I think it's kinda appropriate! TRIBUNAL 1 So when will the Omega Nerds attack? TRIBUNAL 2 When Liam Smith sets foot on their turf... A sci-fi convention! TRIBUNAL 3 It just so happens that there is a convention coming to Las Vegas! TRIBUNAL 4 Liam and his friends will be unable to resist attending! TRIBUNAL 5 What could the convention have that Liam would be unable to turn away? INT. LIAM'S PLACE AT UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS. Donner is watching TV. Stacy is reading the newspaper. Bippo and Thad are playing cards. Liam barges in... LIAM I GOT TICKETS TO WEENIECON 2001!!! SPECIAL GUEST KARI WUHRER!!! MUSICAL STING FADE OUT -------------------------------------------------------------- THEME SONG (SUNG TO THE THEME FROM "JACK OF ALL TRADES") In the year 2001 In Texas lived Jason Gaston Liam Smith made fun of him Proving that he's really dim So Jason brought in Jesse Who's been drinking lots of beer He wrote this little parody He finished, now it's here! (guitar riff) Liam hangs out with a werewolf And a homicidal clown Liam works at Circus Circus, Las Vegas is his town! He's clearly stalking Kari Wuhrer He fought Satan and Scrappy Doo The show's about to start So our song is through OLE! -------

The Liam Smith Show

Starring

Dian Bachar
as
Liam Smith

and
John Rhys-Davies
as
Professor Arturo

Co-Starring

Jason Gaston
as
Donner

Mike Nelson
as
Thad Coffey

Cameron Diaz
as
Stacy VaVoom

Robert Floyd
as
Bippo the Clown

Jason Lee
as
Jesse Glaspey / The Cosmic Weasel

Jack Black
as
Jonathan Krueger / Dr. Wham

Even More Starring

Kari Wuhrer
as
herself

Neil Patrick Harris
as
Gary the Fanboy

Dave Foley
Scott Thompson
Kevin MacDonald
Bruce McCullough
and
Mark McKinney
as
The Tribunal Of Evil

And
Matt Daimon
as
The Alpha Nerd --- INT. DONNER'S BRAND NEW CAR. Donner is driving the gang to the convention. Stacy is sitting shotgun. Liam, Thad and Bippo are sitting in the back seat. STACY I can't believe you want to see Kari Wuhrer again! And you know Gary is going to be there! DONNER Real smart Liam. Bring your current girl to meet the girl you were stalking. And what about the new restraining order she has against you? (A pause) Liam? (no response) Liam? Donner and Stacy look to the back seat. Liam is now wearing a disguise. Big sunglasses and a mustache. LIAM Como esta Senor Liam? Stacy sighs and looks at Thad and Bippo STACY Why did the two of you want to come? THAD We're looking for a copy of Bootygirl number one. STACY Bootygirl? BIPPO She's the hottest new thing! A superheroine who doesn't talk! She was raised by killers and is now trying to be a hero! STACY Uh-huh. Why are you coming Donner? DONNER Business reasons. Capeman is doing an autograph signing later today. All those kids paying for autographs...money and power, money and power, money and power! STACY That's horrible! Making children pay for their hero's autograph. DONNER Hey! That pay helped me buy this car! BIPPO Man, and what a car! Surround sound stereo, playstation 2, tv's in the seats! LIAM I wonder if these TV's get Jigglevision? DONNER DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! I'm not letting any of you mess this car up! (to Thad) And as for YOU dog boy, If you whiz on my hubcaps. I'll have you neutered! THAD Shouldn't you be paying attention to the road? DONNER GAH! Donner narrowly avoids oncoming traffic. They arrive at the convention. As they're getting out of the car, that familiar yellow corvette drives up and stops one inch short of colliding with Donner's car. DONNER HEY! Why don't you guys watch where you're driving?? Jesse and Jonathan get out of the car. JESSE Sorry, pal. Apparently driving and eating quarter pounders don't mix. A pause. They then recognize each other. Greetings are exchanged and introductions are made. DONNER What are you doing in town, man? JESSE We're moving here. THAD Why is that? JESSE Ah, same old reasons, y'know. LIAM Didn't you have some show in the works? Jesse pauses, then lunges to attack Liam. Jonathan holds him back. JESSE Why you little....!!!! DONNER What's with him? JONATHAN Long story. JESSE I punched out Rupert Murdoch. They wanted to bump us for "Worlds scariest musical numbers" JONATHAN Apparently not that long. BIPPO What are you guys doing here at the convention though? JESSE I heard Kari Wuhrer is here. She's hot and stuff. STACY ARGH! DOES EVERYONE STALK THAT HUSSY??? JESSE (to Donner) What's her beef? DONNER She's dating Liam and Liam is still obsessed with Kari. LIAM It's like admiring a Picasso… that's all, I swear! BIPPO Does Kari Wuhrer have triangular titties? Jesse pauses. JESSE Wait... She...is dating Liam? BIPPO We find it hard to believe too. INT. WEENIECON 2001 The gang goes inside and heads toward the Kari Wuhrer autograph signing. She's at the Jigglevision booth promoting "Bootygirl: The Movie". Gary the Fanboy is standing beside her. He sees Stacy and goes over to talk to her. GARY Stacy! I'm surprised to see you here! STACY I'm only here because Liam wanted to come. GARY So Liam's here, eh? Breaking the new restraining order? STACY I don't think it matters. He's my boyfriend now. GARY Oh really? And you're happy? STACY Absolutely! I've never been happier! Watch! Stacy grabs a person with big sunglasses and a mustache and kisses him. The person is stunned silent. STACY It's okay, Liam. Gary knows it's you. PERSON Que? Liam walks up. LIAM Sorry I left. I had to go potty. Did I lose my place in line? STACY Wait! If you're there... then who is... PERSON Que? Stacy shoves the person away from her. She then forces a kiss on Liam. LIAM WOW! That was awesome! STACY (Wiping tongue) Would have been better had you not eaten that garlic covered hot dog for lunch GARY Oh yeah. I can tell the two of you are happy. Just not as happy as Kari and me or at least not as happy as Kari and me when we get back together like I hope and pray that we will. STACY Then why is Jesse hitting on her? We see Jesse talking to Kari. JESSE So what's it like here in Heaven? KARI What? JESSE I mean, being in Heaven is the only way to explain seeing an angel like you! Kari giggles. GARY HEY!!! THAT'S MY EX-WIFE!!! JESSE What? You were married to HER? JONATHAN Is every hot chick going out with dorks or what??? JESSE I just can't comprehend---AGH!!! Jesse grabs his head and collapses to the ground. LIAM Can't comprehend what? The plot to Battlefield Earth? The last year's worth of stories during Morrison's run on JLA? J. Lo's second album??? Liam and Jonathan help Jesse up. JESSE SHUT UP!! Weasel sense....TINGLING!!! We're in danger! LIAM What? JESSE you probably haven't noticed but me and Jonathan have a secret. BIPPO You're gay? JESSE & JONATHAN NO! JESSE Absolutely not!!! JONATHAN We are NOT a couple! BIPPO You're the Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham? JESSE No...wait...yeah! How'd you know? THAD Kinda obvious really. DONNER We had it figured out almost instantly. STACY Cosmic who? ? Liam fills Stacy in on how they met the Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham fighting the Lilith Swarm.... STACY Oh. So why are you telling us your secret identities? JESSE Two reasons. One: We figure we trust you guys. STACY And reason two? JONATHAN The "Who is..." gimmick was taken by Capeman. LIAM Wow! Jesse and Jonathan are superheroes! It's hard to believe! DONNER Why? You hang out with a werewolf, a psycho clown, a man from another dimension, a talking dog, a supermodel slayer, a vampire and your boss is a madwoman who wants to take over the world!!! GARY Excuse me! Is he ever going to get to tell us the danger??? VOICE That "danger" would be me! ALL Who? The voice is coming from a short man with wire-rimmed glasses with tape on the nose part. He's wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Dengar on it and he's carrying Nunchucks. ALPHA NERD ME! The leader of the most feared organization in the world: THE OMEGA NERDS!!! ALL The Omega Nerds??? BIPPO This dweeb is the big danger? You've gotta be kidding me! The Alpha Nerd throws a Dungeons & Dragons rulebook at Bippo like a ninja star. It hits Bippo in the head, sending him flying through the air into a table. BIPPO Ow. ALPHA NERD OMEGA NERDS! ATTACK!!!! The doors to the convention burst open and a legion of dorks with weapons swarm in heading toward Liam and the gang! LIAM Uh-oh. ---- COMMERCIAL BREAK - Watch XFL! - Watch TRL! - Watch SNL! ---- INT. THE CONVENTION CENTER The squad of Omega Nerds rushes towards Liam and the gang. LIAM Quick! We need a plan! DONNER RUN!!!! STACY Good plan!!! But where??? GARY Quick! Behind that counter! The entire gang dives behind it. The Omega Nerds stop. THAD Wow! They didn't follow us! Why? GARY We're at the Image booth! The Omega Nerds are repelled by Image comics! DONNER So what? We hide behind this table all night? Bull! Someone fight those geeks! Everyone looks at Jesse & Jonathan. JESSE Fine, fine!! Let's kick it! Jesse and Jonathan stand up. Jesse taps a ring on his finger. His costume comes out and envelops him. He's now The Cosmic Weasel. He immediately tackles a group of the Nerds and starts beating on them. Jonathan calls out the mighty word of power… JONATHAN NIPPLAGE!!! A lightning bolt comes out of the sky and hits Jonathan transforming him into Dr. Wham. He then starts beating a group of Nerds one by one…But the duo is quickly getting outnumbered. KARI They're in trouble! Somebody help them! DONNER Yeah! Go get 'em Liam! LIAM WHAT? DONNER You're right. Bad idea. Kari! Go kick some fanboy ass! KARI Bite me. DONNER Wow! I didn't know you swing like that! STACY I have an idea! Thad! Come here! THAD What? Stacy rips off his patch. THAD HEY! Thad starts to wolf out. STACY Sic 'em boy! THAD Rrrrrrrrrrright! Thad leaps over the table and starts devouring various nerds and unfortunately he devours that guy who played Londo on Babylon 5 also. DONNER Um, what the hell do we do when he finishes off the Nerds and comes back after us? Stacy looks at Donner, motions toward Gary and makes a killing motion with her fingers and neck. DONNER Never mind. A Nerd is running from Thad when a group of them pounces on him and they start trying to sedate him. When all of a sudden, something emerges from a pile of old comics and table parts. BIPPO THAT'S IT! NO MORE MR. NICE CLOWN!!! Bippo picks up a klingon bat'leth and starts hacking away at various Nerds. ALPHA NERD Fight you cowardly Nerds! FIGHT! Fight like they just called you a Denebian slime devil!!! COSMIC WEASEL Fight all you want! You're still going to lose! ALPHA NERD HA! Like Xena during the fourth season, you're in DENIAL! DR. WHAM What? ALPHA NERD Xena. She went to Egypt in the fourth season. Denial? De Nile? Get it? Dr. Wham and Cosmic Weasel look at each other. Then punch the Alpha Nerd at the same time. LIAM Wow! They're really whipping the Alpha Nerd's butt! DONNER Yeah! One would almost assume they actually know what they're doing! GARY I wouldn't underestimate the Omega Nerds! They always have a secret weapon. KARI Hey! Are all sci-fi conventions like this? STACY No. There aren't usually this many women here. KARI But the only women here right now are you and me! STACY Wow. I'm impressed you can count that high. KARI HEY! LIAM Hey, Gary! How do you know so much about the Omega Nerds? GARY Um, the internet! Yeah, the internet! That's the ticket! LIAM Oh. Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham are still beating up the Alpha Nerd. Bippo and Thad are carving up other nerds like thanksgiving turkeys. Just then, an Omega Nerd knocks over the table the gang is hiding behind and is brandishing a katana sword OMEGA NERD Prepare for your doom! I'm going to hack you up like a Highlander villain! Any last words? LIAM Well, this is it! Stacy! I'm sorry I brought you here! STACY And I'm sorry I got jealous of that skeezix over there! KARI HEY! I'm sorry Gary! I never got to love you the way you wanted me to! DONNER Dressed up like Princess Leia? KARI How did you know? DONNER Lucky guess. KARI Hey, where'd Gary go? LIAM He pissed his pants and ran away screaming regrets about not taping the whole season and a half of Cleopatra 2525. KARI That BITCH! OMEGA NERD (to Donner) Do YOU have any last words? DONNER Wait, what time is it? OMEGA NERD 3pm. Why? DONNER In that case, my final words are: DUCK! Donner, Liam, Stacy, Kari and Gary hit the dirt. We hear a rumbling noise. OMEGA NERD Wha? CAPEMAN CAAAAAAPPPEEEEEMAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN Capeman flies through the wall and smashes through the Omega Nerd. He then starts cleaning house and stands heroically in front of the Cosmic Weasel, Dr. Wham and the Alpha Nerd. COSMIC WEASEL Great timing, Capeman! Just like old times! CAPEMAN I'm sorry, who are you? COSMIC WEASEL I'm the Cosmic Weasel. That's Dr. Wham. We all teamed up to fight the Lilith Swarm? CAPEMAN Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh. That's right. Who's the neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie? ALPHA NERD I'm the leader of the Omega Nerds!!! The scourges of the sci fi! CAPEMAN Don't you mean "Were" the leader? They're all knocked out! BIPPO Now kick that guy's ass and take his wallet! ALPHA NERD HA HA! You FOOLS! You've all fallen right into my trap!! SUFFER THE FURY OF MY SECRET WEAPON!!! MY PATENTED "WHAMMYVISION"!!! The Alpha Nerd shoots a ray beam out of his eyes and blasts Bippo, Thad and Capeman. Capeman sprouts a goatee and starts striding towards The Cosmic Weasel. COSMIC WEASEL Um, why do you have a goatee all of a sudden? CAPEMAN Because I'm EVIL!!! Capeman punches The Cosmic Weasel so hard he goes through the wall and lands in the parking lot. ALPHA NERD Now attack Dr. Wham, my hound of hell!!! Thad pounces and starts chasing Dr. Wham. DR. WHAM GOOOOODDDD DOOOOGGGGGGGGIIIIEEEE!!!! ALPHA NERD YES! Once Capeman kills The Cosmic Weasel and Liam Smith his reputation will be tarnished forever! Ruining all their lives!!! HA HAHAH HAH!!! LIAM Next time I get tickets to ANYTHING, someone remind me to burn them. ----------- COMMERCIAL BREAK Britney Spears says: Drink Pepsi! Christina Aguilera says: Drink Coke! Courtney Love says: Drink Whiskey! ---------------- INT. THE CONVENTION CENTER Capeman is beating up The Cosmic Weasel in the parking lot and Thad is chasing down Dr. Wham. DR. WHAM CAN SOMEONE GIMME A HAND HERE!!! LIAM Is there a chew toy we can toss Thad? DONNER In a few minutes, the Doc is going to BE a chew toy! STACY Why don't you just knock him out, Mr. Wham? DR. WHAM DOCTOR! I AM DOCTOR WHAM! GET IT RIGHT, BLONDIE! AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOCK HIM OUT AND POSSIBLY KILL HIM!!! LIAM WAIT! I have an idea! DONNER Oh boy, Doc is screwed. Liam tosses Dr. Wham a copy of Kingdom Come #4. LIAM Read it!!! Dr. Wham reads the issue at super-speed. He then stops dead in his tracks as Thad rushes towards him. DR. WHAM Gotta get the timing just right! Thad leaps toward Dr. Wham DR. WHAM (Leaping out of the way) NIPPLAGE!!! A lightning bolt comes from out of the sky and hits Thad instead of Dr. Wham. Thad is now lying unconscious on the ground, his fur still smoking. KARI Awwwwww…..Doggie is asleep. DONNER Why does the chick with no brain continue to speak? Meanwhile, Capeman is fighting The Cosmic Weasel. CAPEMAN (Kicking Cosmic Weasel in the gut) Pathetic! You're no hero! You're a second rate anti-hero! COSMIC WEASEL (Grabbing Capeman's foot and throwing him back into the convention area) This coming from the guy in purple tights! CAPEMAN (Getting up) Listen to you! You can't even banter well with opponents! Boring! COSMIC WEASEL Oh yeah? Well…SUCK ON THIS, BUTT FACE!!! The Cosmic Weasel picks up a very nice car and throws it at Capeman. LIAM (Watching it fly overhead) Hey, that car looks familiar. DONNER It should! IT'S MINE!!! CAPEMAN Oh, this is going to sting. The car smashes into Capeman COSMIC WEASEL HA HA! Hope you had life insurance, Capeman! Or at least, auto insurance! The car wreckage starts to shake. Capeman then rips through the car and attacks the Cosmic Weasel and starts choking him. CAPEMAN (Choking Cos) Now need any more lessons about being a hero? COSMIC WEASEL No…but you…forgot one… CAPEMAN What lesson is that? DR. WHAM Always have back-up!!! Dr. Wham sneaks up and kicks Capeman in the jimmy so hard he grows an extra inch. EVERYONE OH! Capeman is curled up on the ground. Dr. Wham looks at the Cosmic Weasel. DR. WHAM "Suck on this butt-face?" COSMIC WEASEL Best I could come up with on short notice. Not bad for some second rate anti-heroes, huh? Dr. Wham and the Cosmic Weasel high five one another. Capeman rises up behind them while they're not looking. CAPEMAN You forgot another rule: Never take your eyes off the bad guy! Capeman goes back to beating on Dr. Wham and the Cosmic Weasel. Meanwhile… ALPHA NERD YES! SLAY THEM, CAPEMAN! MY NEW MINDSLAVE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA LIAM What do we do? We have to help them! BIPPO What can we do? LIAM, DONNER, KARI, & STACY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! LIAM It's evil Bippo!!! DONNER Kick his ass, Liam! BIPPO What the hell is going on? I'm here to help! STACY Wait. I think he's serious! LIAM So why isn't he evil like Thad and Capeman? GARY The "whammyvision" turned Thad and Capeman into complete moral opposites. So, naturally… DONNER … It would have no effect on someone without morals in the first place! STACY Oh come on, he has to have SOME morals! Doesn't he? LIAM Where did you go, Bippo? BIPPO I found out those Omega Nerds carry a lot of cash when I was going through their wallets! DONNER That answer your question, Stacy? STACY Fine! But how do we stop Evil Capeman? LIAM We have to break the Alpha Nerd's concentration! That will break his spell over Capeman! DONNER So what can distract a nerd? BIPPO I know! Bippo shoves Stacy and Kari towards the Alpha Nerd. They slam right into him, knocking him to the ground. ALPHA NERD Hey! Watch….it? KARI (Seductively) Hi! I'm Kari! ALPHA NERD I-I-I-I know. I watched every episode of "Swamp Thing"! KARI So you were the guy! STACY Hi. I'm Stacy. Stacy looks at the gang and makes a "What now?" look. DONNER (off screen) Use your feminine wiles! Stacy pauses and then gets an idea. STACY Hey, Kari! What are these things on our chests? KARI Boobs? ALPHA NERD Ohhhhhhh wow! STACY Hey Kari! Do you shave your legs as smooth as mine? KARI Yeah! Wanna feel them? The Alpha Nerd staggers. ALPHA NERD Two hot girls near me…too much to handle! As Alpha Nerd continues to stagger, Stacy walks over to the Alpha Nerd and whispers a solitary word into his ear. STACY (into the Alpha Nerd's ear) Vagina. ALPHA NERD Uhnnnnn… Alpha Nerd collapses to the ground going through puberty right there. ALPHA NERD (voice cracking) I'm changing!!! CHANGING! The Alpha Nerd looks up to see Capeman, Dr. Wham and the Cosmic Weasel looking down at him. CAPEMAN Well, when you're done changing, we'd like to have a word with you! Capeman, Dr. Wham and the Cosmic Weasel start beating the snot out of the Alpha Nerd. Stacy walks over to Liam and the gang. STACY Shouldn't we call the police? DONNER Yeah, we should… SOUND EFFECT THWACK! ALPHA NERD (off screen) OW! My crotch! DONNER …Eventually. ---- COMMERCIAL BREAK - Got fish? - Crack: It's not just for kids anymore! - Make 7up yours! ---- EXT. THE CONVENTION CENTER The police are escorting The Alpha Nerd and his Omega Nerd henchmen into a paddy wagon. The gang is standing around. Dr. Wham and The Cosmic Weasel have changed back to STACY I'm sorry I got angry at you, Liam. I shouldn't have let Gary and Kari get to me. LIAM And I'm sorry I let my obsession with Kari get in the way of our relationship. I'm over Kari. STACY And Gary, I'm sorry I felt the need to compete with you over who's happier. It was childish and stupid. I'm completely over you and have moved on. I'm not going to play these childish games anymore. GARY Well, that's awfully big of you! I'm glad you're not going to act like a baby like you did when we broke up. STACY Gary, the old Stacy would have punched you out for that kind of comment. But I'm above that! GARY That's great! STACY So I'll have Jesse do it for me… Gary turns around to see Jesse's fist headed towards him. SOUND EFFECT POW!!! Kari helps Gary to their limo. EXT. THE CONVENTION CENTER - A FEW MINUTES LATER Jesse is talking with Jonathan and Capeman. JONATHAN Anyways, Thanks for helping Capeman! CAPEMAN That's alright! And I'm sorry I beat you up, Jesse. A pause. JESSE Beat ME up? We beat YOU up! Remember? CAPEMAN Only because you both ganged up on me and hit me in my wee-wee. JESSE Whatever, we'll see you later Capeboy. CAPEMAN CapeMAN! JESSE Whatever. Thad walks out of the convention. Bippo walks up to him. Thad's hair is on end and he's still partially smoking. BIPPO Are you okay? THAD I don't know. Last thing I remember is wolfing out. Then I wake up with what looks like a website address burned into my ass! BIPPO Well, if it makes you feel any better. I got Bootygirl #1! THAD Really? How much did you pay? BIPPO Pay? I nabbed it when the crowd was running when the attack started! Thad shakes his head. STACY Well, looks like everyone is happy! LIAM Not everyone. Liam points to Donner, who is kneeling over the wreckage of his car. DONNER (crying) So young…to die so soon! Capeman walks over to Donner. CAPEMAN Hey, I was just wondering…Do I get paid for this convention even though we ripped it apart or what? DONNER GO AWAY!!! CAPEMAN Sorry. If you need me, just hit me up on my two-way. Later! Capeman walks by Jesse and Jonathan on his way out. CAPEMAN See you around Cosmic Beaver! JESSE WEASEL! Cosmic WEASEL! CAPEMAN Whatever. CAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPEEEEEMAAANNNNNN!!!! Capeman flies off. Donner is still crying as he picks up a hubcap. He holds it close. He then smells something. He sniffs the hubcap and gets very angry. DONNER THAD!!!!!!! CUT TO: INT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS LIAM'S APARTMENT Subtitle: Two days later Liam is sitting on the couch watching TV with Stacy. Donner is on the phone talking to his auto insurance agent. DONNER WHAT DO YOU MEAN SUPERHERO BRAWLS AREN'T COVERED??? WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR??? LIAM Hey, you wanna tone it down? We're watching The West Wing! STACY And you don't care that you're missing Kari Wuhrer's new movie "Shanghai Poon" is premiering on Jigglevision? LIAM Nope. Bippo suddenly barges in. BIPPO Hey, Liam! I'm taping that Kari Wuhrer movie like you asked me to, but when should I drop it off? STACY LIAM! LIAM Um…. Thad suddenly barges in also. THAD Hey guys! Check out what's happening outside the lobby!! The gang heads downstairs to see Jesse and Jonathan shaking hands with Professor Arturo. ARTURO …And welcome to the Upda Creek family! JESSE Thanks! Hey neighbors! DONNER NEIGHBORS??? THEY'RE MOVING IN??? HOW? STACY I thought all the apartments were occupied! JONATHAN They are. But luckily the basement is big, empty and cheap! JESSE We can turn it into our headquarters! Isn't this awesome? DONNER Well, there goes the neighborhood. CUT TO: INT. A DARK AND SINISTER UNDERGROUND LAIR. The Tribunal of Evil is conferring again… TRIBUNAL 1 (BLEEP)! We failed AGAIN! TRIBUNAL 2 It's alright. With all of them living in the same building now we WILL have our revenge! TRIBUNAL 3 Absolutely! Patience is a virtue! TRIBUNAL 4 One in the hand is worth two in the bush! TRIBUNAL 5 Yeah! And speaking of bush, BRING IN THE DANCING GIRLS!!! Several strippers come in and start dancing with the Tribunal of Evil. FADE OUT THE END ROLL CREDITS Please Rate
"Liam Smith and the Convention of Doom" Sucks >> >> >> Wonderful!

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