Prologue

The BrainBasher was her name

And Pirating was her game!

The high seas foamed and raved like pitch solidified. Against the jagged coast of the Old World those murky waters shrieked, unrelentless and icy. The sea was not a force to be reckoned with, as any sailor could very well verify. Many lives had been claimed, sinking into fathomless depths. She was to be respected, the sea, to be feared...and so it had always been.

Until now.

The BrainBasher ploughed through the ocean with ominous arrogance, plundering and looting from merchant and mercenary to majesty and ministry alike. No one seafaring vessel was secure from the nefarious doings of the BrainBasher. Riches of incalculable worth, documents of clandestine esteem, the most advanced and lethal weaponry...all these and more had been ruthlessly seized by those aboard the BrainBasher.

The BrainBasher truly was the Scourge of the Seas.

The BrainBasher’s most wicked and thrice-cursed, not once and not twice but thrice...thrice being the number that is once more than twice and twice less than twice plus thrice, Captain was a steely nobleman by the Christian name of Lord Jared Cortland Argyle Westmoreland the XXIX, though to all of his crew, villainous companions and the rest of the world, he was known as, simply, CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner.

CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner was the most feared man in all of Great Britain, France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, and some parts of Upper Mongolia. He was the sort of vile character that brought instant terror into the hearts of men. Mothers forced children to eat their vegetables by the mere mention of his name. Great flocks of pigeons were known to take flight when inserting his nomenclature amidst the ever popular ‘Aloft ye foul birds’ phraseology. Men of the cloth would cross themselves upon catching wind of his infamous deeds and upon occasion glass would inexplicably shatter!

CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner was an admirable specimen of manmeat. He stood tall and muscular with hair as black as the Devil’s heart and eyes a steely grey. Arrogance marked the chiseled line of his jaw while deadly treachery and commanding authority emanated from his very aura. He was tanned and robust with a healthy smattering of hair upon his sculpted chest and it should be noted that never once had he fallen victim to scurvy. His ‘musket’ was a good ten inches and pleased many a lady. His voice was deep and gruff, though when he took a turn about Polite Society as Lord Jared Cortland Argyle Westmoreland the XXIX, the Duke of Rathemore, his voice grew cold and refined.

No one unfortunate soul who had ever laid eyes upon CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner lived to tell the tale. It was safe to say that where CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner was concerned, there was no tale-telling. Only horrific goings-on, wild speculations and fear of a most grisly sort. No one, save for his crew, knew the real truth about CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner’s secret identity. It was not known that the notorious pirate of the high seas, the King of the BrainBasher was really an aristocrat, the one and only Lord Jared Cortland Argyle Westmoreland the XXIX who was the most eligible bachelor in all of England!

Why a Duke was running hither and thither about the seas, pillaging and thieving, one may be wont to wonder. It had to do with a traumatic past involving the slaying of his parents and his need for revenge. There was also an incident involving a particularly fetching young lady with a bosom that would not quit and pouty lips, that had betrayed the Duke in a most appalling manner. Toss into the foray of suffering abandonment, murder, deception and hidden past secrets and one will come to realize that CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner was indeed a walking angst machine. He hid his multitudes of pain and agony beneath a cold and dangerous façade, letting no one close to him. He had learned of disloyalty in ways most difficult and he would not partake of that old shite again. As thus he had developed a most cynical and jaded view and no one knew of the numerous ways in which he suffered...night after night, sea after sea...eternally alone.

In reality, possibly nothing would have changed not CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner not been obligated to fulfill his ducal duties and attend the annual Harvest Solstice Ball hosted by the Earl and Countess of Leeds. Naturally the last thing he wanted was to attend such a frivolous crush but it was his duty and CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner never shirked from his duties. Add in the fact that he had a score to settle with the Earl of Leeds and it was plain to see that CarcassSlicer von Schlickensteiner was indeed so at the ball.