Name: Kestrel

Age: 16

Race: Human

Appearance: With pretty chestnut hair falling to just below her shoulders and eyes of stormy grey-blue, Kestrel drew the eyes of many in both the Shishiraki tribe and later in the City of Starlight. She stands at nearly 5'6" and is willowy in her build. Smiling as much as she can, she brings a little sunlight to anywhere she happens to go. With the world being in the state it is, she wears mainly soft leather but decorates it with small beads of bright colour and learned from her mother how to dye thin strips of hide bright colours to tie her hair back and to wear as jewelry on special occasions. After her stay at the City of Starlight she also began wearing a thin silver band on her thumb and ruby drops in her ears as well as thin gold chains in her hair (don't ask me how they don't get tangled in there) for occasions such as weddings or rituals.

Weapons: She knows how to shoot a bow and she always carries a small bone-and-crystal dagger from her former home on Thialtu Mountain but she doesn't like to use it as it was a gift from her deceased grandmother. She is also very good with her tribe's classic bone knives, although they are more for day-to-day chores such as preparing food rather than fighting.

Alignment: I suppose 'good' or 'Light' describes her best; she is the protagonist, after all, and the centerpiece of a bright destiny.

Likes: Pretty things, proving herself as an athlete, lying on her back in the lush grass of the plains her tribe inhabits and watching the clouds. Also most foods, riding animal-back (it doesn't matter what kind, even though she tends to fall off a lot) and Kyosuke Miraku of the City of Starlight.

Dislikes: bitter herbs, any meat related to pigs/ boars, people who don't seem to want to get along, disorganization, loud places, deep water.

History: Born the second child of the leaders of the Shishiraki Ice tribe, Kestrel was always trying to help, even to the point of getting in the way. She would do many a chore around camp....and then vanish without a word. At first this worried and even panicked her tribe, but eventually they realized they could always find her on a low outcropping near a small waterfall, peacefully enjoying the calm atmosphere. When her eldest brother vanished on a trip to the lowlands, her youngest brother was proclaimed to be next in line for the leadership. Kestrel was never bitter and helped her brother prepare in case something happened to their father and he died earlier than expected. A week after she turned 16, her father decided to move the Shishiraki down from the mountain. On this journey her brother died in a rockslide along with many others and Kestrel was proclaimed the next heir of the Shishiraki as the only remaining child of the current leaders. They lived on the plains below Thialtu mountain for a while when suddenly the newly-named Shishiraki Plains tribe found themselves besieged by small, vicious red creatures resembling a cross between dragonflies and reptiles. Their sting was lethal and the tribe's grief was impossible to comprehend when Kestrel herself was stung by one of the creatures, which the Shishiraki called Strikers. However, rather than dying Kestrel shared a telepathic rapport with her assailant and he told her they needed her to come with them. She resisted and over the weeks the Strikers continued to attack periodically until eventually their attack was accompanied by a strange telepathic voice in the minds of all the Shishiraki. This voice, the leader of the Strikers, told the Shishiraki that if Kestrel came with them the tribe would be spared any further attacks. To save her people, who were slowly being crippled by the vicious onslaughts, Kestrel said goodbye to her people and journeyed with the Strikers to the City of Starlight, an city of technological marvel inside an ice-covered mountain. Once there she met a the woman who had sent the message and soon discovered that the Strikers were actually dragonets and that their elder kin were much larger and more powerful when Kyosuke Miraku was thrown from his dragon's saddle into her garden. He took her for a ride to the top of the mountain and out the massive hole in the summit to see the world from the peak while explaining how everything had come to be. Still, after all this, Kestrel had not discovered what it was she was meant to do. This is how far I've currently written in my story, though only the first part has currently been posted. (sorry if I spoiled the beginning for anyone who wants to read it ^^;)

[.Note.] This story takes place on Earth, believe it or not. It's set many years into the future, after global warming, earthquakes and basic human stupidity has erased 99% of all former human existance. Most people now live in a fairly primitive way and the City of Starlight may be the last great city in the world. Obviously there are some very different names from anything currently on our dear mother Earth. This is because the geography of the world has changed a bit from the impact of the earthquakes. I know this is a little on the strange side but forgive me for that ^^; [end pointless explanation]

I think Kestrel may be a bit too attractive, but it's probably not a really big deal. You did give enough faults that she doesn't seem like a Mary Sue, and overall I have to say I like the sound of it.

I also really like her name. Kestrel is cool, and I've always been partial to bird names for people, such as Peregrine. :)

With regard to the Alignment…you said that good and light would best describe Kestrel because she is the protagonist. I really hope that you don’t equate the two terms in your mind. The protagonist is the character that moves the story forward, and she/he can be good or evil, in the most general sense.

The setting and the way the social hierarchies are structured tend to hold in my mind, as the circle humanity seems to run in goes from advanced to primitive, then around again. Also, and this might just be me, but the City of Starlight brings to mind the city of Zion from the Matrix. Is this mere consequence?

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