Review Summaries and Titles - The Review Revolution: Stories Forum

Topic: Review Summaries and Titles

A summary and title plays a major role, making most people decide whether or not to click the link and start reading the story. Therefore, this topic will serve as help where people can get concrit on this (of course, you will not leave an actual review on the story just about the summary/title. All summary/title related business is to be dealt in this topic only).

So if you want opinions on yours, copy and paste them here!

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Mine:

Title: Of a World Without Wonder

Summary: She was selfish, as was he. And neither would ever forget.

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General guidelines in summaries(according to me):

- Don't ask questions with a yes or no answer. Ie; "Would she survive in this cold world?". By doing such, you already give away the two possible endings (the Yes ending, and the No ending). Thus there is no reason to read onwards. There is no drama nor mystery. The reader already knows what is to come. You are killing the suspense by adding questions with yes and no answers. So just don't.

- Don't include things in the summary that is not a summary of your story (ie; "I suck at summaries", "Dunno what to say", "I did this for school", "R&R please!"). This says nothing of your story and makes readers skip your story without hesitation. Yes, even if there is a summary on the side of those. It's a turn off. Mention it in the author note in the chapter instead.

- Don't write such a long summary it becomes cutoff. There *is* a word limit. Acknowledge it.

- In fact, write as little as possible. Two sentences might just as well be sufficient.

- Be sure to check your spelling of what you have included in the summary (and title!). It's awfully off-putting to see errors before even having read the first chapter.

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(Thanks Serom Kim for helping me think of this topic!)

#1 Jul 20th 2007, 12:57pm . Edited by YourRedDoor, Feb 15th, 9:13am

derisive snort

Hm, I knoe people have this issue about long summereis, but I'd suggest that you give alittle more explaination as to what your story is a

about. Aside from selfishness.

mine:

Act of a Superhero

Aaron is a pretty regular guy, if a bit of a loser. Life is pretty regular, illusions are sustained. The vegetarian hobo is a pretty cool guy.It’d be nice if some beautiful woman appeared.But it might be a notquitehuman recluse to give life meaning.

(at least it's a full sentence now.)

#2 Jul 20th 2007, 3:56pm

Serom Kim

Huh! Sounds like an interesting summary, derisive, and it makes you think. People who don't like to wonder about your summary or if they think that nothing interesting is going to happen is going to skip it over, but still sounds unique ...

Hurricane Wind

Hayami Ryuji was an ordinary teenager until he followed his rival, Choi Jongsoo, to Canada. After that trip, Ryuji changed his name and now has weirdness following him! And it's all thanks to his new friends. Follow his and his friends' crazy adventures!

Five Under Fire

For Josh Mosley and his friends, the only time life was ever hectic in their hometown was when they were the ones causing the chaos. But when the five find themselves caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, life doesn't seem so peaceful anymore.

Shuichi's World

Enter the imagination of 15 year old Shuichi Gering as she drags her friends into a fantasy world of her own creation and fights the evil forces that lurk in her world and the corners of her mind.

#3 Jul 20th 2007, 8:46pm

@ derisive -

Hurray for sentences that doesn't suddenly stop.

You used the world "regular" twice, and in sentences next to each other.

"recluse to give life meaning."

Maybe *that gives*?

It is personally too long for my liking. With summaries, you need to be effective and catch attention. Maybe cutting out "Life is pretty regular, illusions are sustained. The vegetarian hobo is a pretty cool guy."

or simply

"The vegetarian hobo is a pretty cool guy."

Your title I found nothing wrong with. It's a keeper ^^

@Serom Kim

@Hurricane Wind -

Summary is too long, and the mentioning of him changing his name is a spoiler as well as pretty unnecessary information (according me myself and I) "Follow his and his friends' crazy adventures!" makes it sound like any other crazy-random story. Your strongest part in your story is dialouge. How about showing some of that instead?

@Five Under Fire

Pretty good. Nothing much to remark.

@Shuichi's World

Sounds pretty much like any other fantasy story out there. Unless the fantasy world of her own creation is *not* real, and they are just in real life, pretending it is (in that case make that more clear. That'd be a great thing to lure readers in). As it is now, it is awfully generic. You tell us nothing about what makes it so special, nor give a hook.

#4 Jul 21st 2007, 1:56am

Serom Kim

All right, I guess Ryeja's name changing really isn't relevant ... it's a complete story, though, and pushed all the way back, so I'll worry about that later. Dialogue in the summary? Truth is, I hate it when writers do that. I'll think about it, though ...

Shuichi's World is pretty much a generic fantasy because that's how my friend, the real Shuichi, had written it. People are going to read if they want to, and ignore it if they want, I guess ...

#5 Jul 21st 2007, 10:59am

I've always thought my summaries were, well, lacking. Care to tell me what you think about this one? It's the one for my novel-in-the-works, so I suppose it's the one I should get fixed up.

Incarnate--When Ayrlyn is said to be the reincarnation of a Goddess she's in for nothing but trouble. The town exiles her & Aine, hungry & twisted, wants to kidnap Ayrlyn for her own perverse gains. Is Ayrlyn really Cern reborn? Or is Aine just wasting her time?

#6 Jul 21st 2007, 11:35pm

Oh, I suppose I should tell you what I think of your summary too, eh?

I like it because it piqued my interest--and in only 11 words to boot. -That- is a good summary. I hate it when people ramble on about things that don't matter. And don't get me started on when they just post the first line of the story--it usually isn't sufficient as a summary of the whole piece.

#7 Jul 21st 2007, 11:37pm

People are going to read if they want to, and ignore it if they want, I guess ...

Serom, if you want to get published, you can't have that attitude O.o

@DB - Incarnate

Generally, asking question that has a "yes" or "no" answer brings no drama to me. It does not make me want to read, because the two alternative endings have thus been revealed.

Shortening what you have for dramatic effect (ie, leaving some details out) can be a way to pique interest in potential readers. I can give you some examples of what I'd do with your summary if I were you if you want so you understand what I mean.

Thank you. I still find my summary to be lacking (it doesn't intruige enough), but I guess with time I can learn to write better summaries. I can always point out flaws in mine and others works, but I hardly know how to make what I do better.

My pet peeve regarding summaries has to be the "newbie" alert. Signs of newbie alert:

- Declares he or she can not write a summary

- Says nothing about what story is about but asks to "R&R"

- Have a bunch of misspelled words in BOTH title and summary...!

#8 Jul 22nd 2007, 4:14am . Edited Jul 22nd 2007, 4:15am

Dang, I never realized that I was setting people up to kinda guess the ending....and yeah, I'd love it if you could give me some examples.

And I might as well ask about my summary for my other -real- story.

Brittany's Curse--Everyone at Oakridge High knows about Brittany Lane and her...oddities. But none of them truly understands what makes her so strange...

Now, I -know- this one is bad. It's got the cliche high school kids that find a freak and pick on her, etc. But, you -did- R&R it, so you'll have a bit better idea what to put for it than for 'Incarnate's' summary in the sense that you haven't read 'Incarnate.'

Thanks a bunch!

#9 Jul 22nd 2007, 3:24pm

Um I haven't participated here yet - so let's join the fun. I feel like a party. I've changed my summaries 20000 times.

Crystal Spirit

Yuka was wearing winter gear in the heats of blazing summer and Alex sees that. This turns into a disaster that brings them into the Spirit Layer of the world.

X Infinity

There were infinite combinations of personalities and characteristics, but only a selected few crossed our lives. Before my return to the frontlines, I had this one question – who was I destined to meet on this particular journey?

Feeling Samantha

Leo had been in a trance that night in which he accidentally met Samantha in a dance party. And that was how it all started. Something really different, see why.

#10 Jul 22nd 2007, 9:55pm

X Infinity--was the only one that really made me say "Wow, that's something I want to read, -right now-.

Crystal Spirit--made me kind of curious, but no more than "Why is he wearing a sweater in the summer? Maybe he's like my mom and just burns very easily."

Feeling Samantha--ended up somewhere in the middle of the other two. While it didn't grab me my the head and shake me into wanting to read it, lest I miss out on something life-changing, it did intrigue me enough that I would read it when I had the time to.

Honestly, your summaries have made me want to read X Infinity and Feeling Samantha, and when I have time I promise you I shall. ^_^

#11 Jul 22nd 2007, 10:10pm

Guess, it means I'll have to change Crystal Spirit again. I've changed it multiple times and I couldn't get it right. Thanks for the tip. Well, X Infinity's the one I haven't changed since even though people might not read it at first because it was really meaningful.

#12 Jul 22nd 2007, 10:14pm

Okie DB, here is what I would do with your summary on Incarnate, based on your summary. Of course these are just ideas, but I tried to make it sound more dramatic. Alrighty here we go:

"Said to be the reincarnation of a goddess, she is exiled. While facing cruelty from others she can only wonder; what importance does it have to be someone else's former self?"

Uh, corny I know. The last question was just an example of a question you could use. Yes and no question are like I said, too revealing. I of course don't know what kind of questions she asks herself due to this newly discovered identity, so I just made one up. :P

or another suggestion:

"She was at fault, being the reincarnation of a goddess that must not be. It was their right to abandon her. And it was her payment to suffer."

This summary was more or less written from the perspective of those who exiled her. I haven't read it, so maybe they are a whole lot kinder and stuff and don't want to exile her... but, you get my drift right?

@Brittany's Curse -

Title doesn't really attract. Maybe a change is needed? You could keep the Curse word though.

As for summary: I have a problem with the "..." They just put everything on hold. They clog the sentences and doesn't make it as smooth as ie this would be:

"Everyone at Oakridge High knows about Brittany Lane and her "oddities". But none of them truly understands what makes her so strange."

Personal suggestion:

"Trapped inside her confining mind, all she could ever do was to obey."

Of course, you could also go for a more up-front summary that states her illness;

"She was obsessive compulsive. She was the freak. How could anything change?"

I'm a bit "meh" about the question I added, but I couldn't come up with any better.

@ concerto -

I agree with DB on all points. X Infinity has a really cool summary.

Crystal Spirit sounds weird. Why focus on a piece of clothing so much? It didn't really gain my interest.

Feeling Samantha sounds a bit typical teenage drama. I also dislike the "see why". I generally just dislike when summaries tell me to read the story, in any way, shape or form (unless a parody or something).

#13 Jul 23rd 2007, 3:52am

Yeah, oh gosh...Crystal Spirit is too hard to title. Well I've changed it again.

Ever explored the different layers of our world? Alex meets Yuka, who eventually invites Alex into the Spirit Layer of the world. Yet, things were not what they appeared to be.

Yet, it stil doesn't seem right.

As to the other one - in fact, I haven't exactly set the full storyline and everything else, so yeah I can't really title it as well. I don't know - X Infinity just classically got me.

Okay, I'll take see why out. Ehh I'm open to suggestions and changes. Reminds me of a review I gave someone about their piece. "I like things the way they are thank you." - I thought I was stubborn...

#14 Jul 23rd 2007, 3:56am

Maybe with Feeling Samantha you could delve more into the "different" aspect of it?

"She made everything different" etc type of deal?

Um... Crystal Layer... Hmm...

Maybe

"Where illusions blend with reality. Where layers exists. All of this, the two (or they?) could see"?

Yeah, it goes without saying that I suck at summaries and such :P

#15 Jul 23rd 2007, 4:06am

I love your first suggestion for 'Incarnate's' summary. The only reason I don't like the second one, is because in the story there -is- doubt as to whether Ayrlyn is the Goddess or not. And y'know, I think I'll just use "Trapped inside her confining mind, all she could ever do was to obey" for 'Brittany's Curse.'

Yeah, I suck majorly with titles, Fractured. 'Incarnate' was a suggestion from a reviewer because I asked for help on the title (which used to be 'Kipic'--the name of the fantasy world it's set in).

Thanks again, Fractured! ^_^*

#16 Jul 23rd 2007, 11:34am

Ah, glad you liked them. Of course, you shouldn't feel forced to use them. Adding your own touch (changing sentences and such) can be quite the improvement (because my summary skills are...well, not enough to be called skills).

Anyone else with summaries? I happily butcher your summaries, titles, and hearts!

*evil grin*

*halo appears above head*

Tehe?

#17 Jul 23rd 2007, 12:24pm

Yeah, I'm back. I changed it for the 27th time - this time stealing a line of my older works that I almost forgot had existed.

Crystal Spirit - So beautiful yet so far, so close yet so transparent. This was Alex and Yuka's destiny...

#18 Jul 24th 2007, 10:30pm

Yes this is certainly an improvement, concerto!

...*taps fingers* Now what? We need more members! Concerto, have you pimped this place to your friends yet? :P

#19 Jul 26th 2007, 5:09am

Eh? I don't know many people on FP. I'm a poor writer that not many people have been reading. You're one of the few cool people that have read some of it. Sigh. I mentioned it in a few review replies and a few PMs I happened to do.

#20 Jul 26th 2007, 5:11am

Le sigh.

Must. Pimp. Site...!! *has no one left to pimp it too* *Will she attack random strangers with this information?* *Hmm...*

#21 Jul 26th 2007, 5:24am

Yeah, that was a reason why I joined I guess. I mean I don't really mind reviewing other people's stuff once in a while.

Nah, you don't need to "attack" random strangers. That sounds weird. I can't imagine say "attacking" random strangers and asking if they would mind reading my stories? Perhaps that's a good idea that I don't dare to do.

Um yeah, it's hard to find a particular forum in the forums page because it's usually random. Well, I suppose we might get more members as we do more stories of the week since the people reading those stories and the author might see our banners there.

#22 Jul 26th 2007, 5:27am

No, no! I'd attack the random strangers asking them to join the Review Revolution! :P (though in a way, that is asking them to review you since you are up this week).

More stories of the week to increase? Ah, you think too small dear friend! This must turn grand-scale! *puts on pimp-hero costume* I'm off to save the day now. Wish to be my side-kick and comical relief, while I get all the man-babes?

#23 Jul 26th 2007, 5:43am

I love the idea of it being grand-scale, just I'm not sure if it's possible. I've been strong, but many things have happened that's weakened me (at least slightly).

Well thanks. You're doing a nice job certainly. Though, I never thought about myself and that I'm up this week. I just thought for the revolution if you know what I mean. Yeah, I tend to help people in around and forget about my own stuff sometimes. Oh well. Wonder how you're going to attack them.

*Sits and thinks about it*

#24 Jul 26th 2007, 5:46am

It *is* possible! But like all humans, they must know that will get a reward for it. And they must know that they will be reviewed in return! This way. I am almost thinking of adding "We review you!" to my little ad on my profile :P

So far, best technique for me has been to review people, and those who have review replied, THOSE are the ones I go after :P Har har, I am a mad dog.

*drags concerto out of pondering state and out into the real world where only actions counts* Spread the world, young one! Spread it like a dove spreads its white wings!!!

(...This has gone horrible off topic. I'm going to go ask boss if we can have a Random Topic or something to relieve stress ^^)

#25 Jul 26th 2007, 5:57am

Ha, good idea about the topic. Yeah, actually it's my fault that we went off topic. Sorry, but then here I go continuing the off-topic-ness. Sorry yet again.

Yeah, I knew that already. I mean I've been giving people reivews, and a few have replied. Oh likr I've mentioned one of them said "I like things how they are thanks". Ha ha. Anyways. I know what you mean. If I have given up I won't still be here. I'll keep trying hard.

#26 Jul 26th 2007, 5:59am

Ok, I whored it out on my profile! Adding that members gain reviews... Ho ho, will anyone come? :P

No its not your fault we went off topic. believe me, I was created for off-topicness. It's just so easy to go there... . And about that author; yeah some people aren't really looking for concrit :/ Makes me a sad camper when I have wasted time giving it.

Hey I am thinking of different titles (always a hard process!) for my new story. Which is the best one so far?

A Life to Honour

Monster That I Am

Beasts of the Best

All relates to the story, so no worries on this part. But which sounds most interesting? Which would you be more inclined to pick up? Would you even be interested in any of them at all?

#27 Jul 26th 2007, 6:06am

Yeah, sorry - they don't catch me. At least I mean the title doesn't. *Honest* Though, why don't you tell us what the story will be about, like roughly and then perhaps we can help out after that? It's hard to decide on nothing really.

#28 Jul 26th 2007, 6:08am

Ugh, crap. I always suck with titles and summaries.

Sorry, no can do on the telling of story department. What prompts these titles are a twist that comes and I can't reveal it.

Back to formula for me!

#29 Jul 26th 2007, 6:13am

Lol. I've pimped it as best I can so far. And Telling random people about it is a -good- thing. They might just join. Or perhaps tell others about this "Fractured" whose name must speak of their mental state from how they saw you ranting on about some sort of revolution. And even then, the word'll be getting out! XD

#30 Jul 26th 2007, 9:55am

r perhaps tell others about this "Fractured" whose name must speak of their mental state from how they saw you ranting on about some sort of revolution.

*pouts* hey it aint my fault there is a thin line between sanity and psycho

I am pimping it some more on my profile, har har! I think it already brought it one person. Hey did the other person who joined (our nr 10) was that your doing? :O Good job DB! *friendly pat on back*

*ponders if she should make mad-reviews and tell about Review Revolution*

Hehehehe....

#31 Jul 26th 2007, 9:59am

Nope, not my guys in here yet. If you see a Devin Brines, Icicle Tears, or Numonus those are the people I talked to. D's checking us out and thinking about joining, Ice sent me back a PM saying that they'd love to join, and Nemonus got all happy that I considered them a "reviewer of merit" and said that it's a yes, if they have the time to do it.

#32 Jul 26th 2007, 10:03am

*wonders where nr 10 came from then*

but whoa DB those are a lot of people! :D Goodie! Mwahahah! Soon our empire will grow!!!

...I mean,friendly reviewing community... *shifty eyes*

#33 Jul 26th 2007, 10:06am

Lawlz. I'm going to go look at everyone who's given me a decent review, later, and bug all of them, too. Though, in truth, half of those people are Ice and Nemonus...

#34 Jul 26th 2007, 10:08am

Bah! I've got no one else that does fiction, only poems. Though my novel has 38 (?) reviews, they consist of Freaky, Ice, and an illiterate l33t (attempting) speaker who I can't even understand without taking ten minutes to read one sentence he writes. So, yeah....Oh, and there were the two faithful, wonderful reviewers that I had for my novel when I first posted it--but one disappeared at about...chapter three, was it? And the other one did the same at about chapter six. *Le sigh*

#35 Jul 26th 2007, 10:14am

I should do that too! (but I only have one story so far :/)

Off to stalk! :D

#36 Jul 26th 2007, 10:14am

*pats* There there.

You can always try my technique of mass reviewing others, thus catching attention and unconsciously making them look at my profile, see a word that promises them more reviews, and make them click it :D

#37 Jul 26th 2007, 10:16am

That's what I did with my spare blocks at school. I'd read every single story on the "Just In" page--I did it for, like, months, too. Lawlz. And it didn't work out too well, since all people happened upon on my page are stupid qoutes, emo poems about a disease few of them can/want to comprehend, and a 30,000 word novel. Yeah. I'll get -tons- of reviews, even by mass reviewing.

#38 Jul 26th 2007, 10:19am

Hmmm... DB, have you ever heard of "Pay it Forward"?

Here; Pay it forward

*looks at link*

*sees DBs stories*

Err, I guess you have ^^;

But review them! Reviewing them helps! (And reminding them that they owe you if they take too long!) I did that and I got good feedback. In the PM you can say which you prefer them to review as well)

But hey DB, see it this way; when it's your Story of the Week time you'll get bombarded (especially with the way our membership grows! *thumbs up*)

#39 Jul 26th 2007, 10:24am

I actually feel kinda bad about my turn at story of the week. I mean, I only have three stories and...they already have reviews....makes me feel like I'm cheating out someone needier.

#40 Jul 26th 2007, 10:28am

Nonesense! *smacks silly Blyssie*

You see, your week is your reward for being such a good and helpful sport all the other weeks and with helping other authors! You are fully entitled to this reward! Good deeds are supposed to pay off after all!

#41 Jul 26th 2007, 10:31am

Yeah, but....Ice and Freaky have already, well, r*p*d me with reviews. Good ones, too! And you've done one....Bwah. I still feel bad. Why must I be the only person in my generation to care for others so?

#42 Jul 26th 2007, 10:34am

Ignore your conscience silly one! It is not needed! *evil grin*

Besides, good authors deserve more attention!

And hey, I just noticed! You have a story with that has the word "Fractured" in it! *is amused*

I think I'll read it later because I have to leave soon.^^

...And stop feeling guilty!! *smacks*

#43 Jul 26th 2007, 10:42am

Ohemgee! It's a sign. Go forth, one who bears my story's name, and concrit it well!

And stop feeling guilty? Fine! I WANT REVIEWS, BIATCHES! REVIEW ME AND NOBODY EXCEPT SMALL CHILDREN AND POODLES WILL GET HURT!!!

#44 Jul 26th 2007, 10:45am . Edited Jul 26th 2007, 10:45am

It is indeed a sign! A sign of destiny, of happiness, and of me eternally stalking you!

Go forth minions!!!

*doesn't know what she's saying anymore*

*really really hopes boss will allow one Random Topic to be added*

And stop feeling guilty? Fine! I WANT REVIEWS, BIATCHES! REVIEW ME AND NOBODY EXCEPT SMALL CHILDREN AND POODLES WILL GET HURT!!!

Bwahahah!! I have corrupted the innocent Beetle-Juicy-Harry-Pirate girl!!! Bwahahaha!!

#45 Jul 26th 2007, 10:50am

Okay, I've just tricked us out to another person on FP--one who's got a story I'm reading, and who has tons of other stories, all of which with few reviews. His (?) name is MyNameIsMad. If he drops by, I sent em. ^_^

On a delicious side-note--my cat just barfed. Twice. =|

#46 Jul 26th 2007, 10:54am

Waaah, how come you recuruit everyone! *pouts* You're breaking my flow! The flooooow~!

but this is indeed good to know, bwahaha!

Your cat may barf, but my dog farts. And *that* is hell! (note the wisdom I carry!)

#47 Jul 26th 2007, 10:57am

Honest to God, my cat has -never- farted in her 9 years of life.

#48 Jul 26th 2007, 10:59am

The pimping continues! If we get a MusesOfOlde here, it's cause I told him (?) about it.

..notice how I'm never sure of anyone's gender on here?

#49 Jul 26th 2007, 11:25am