As we all know, surviving on this hostile site where the climate is all but warm and fuzzy, can be straining. It does not offer much evolution as most readers generally never tend to bother leaving instructions for improved survival (concrit).

So how do we get these valuable lessons for life? How do we make the lazy authors of this site turn away from their own creations and glance at ours? How do we end this cold, lonely atmosphere this site has plenty of?! And really, how do we get reviews?

After these useless paragpraphs, mostly relevant information will follow, upon which I shall share pointers I myself have found useful, as well as tips I have seen others give around on this site. *rubs hands together excitedly* Ok, minions...! Let's start!

1) First Impressions Count!

You want to have a reader-friendly title and summary. I will cut this short, as there is already another topic here that deals with how to improve title/summary. Basically; spell properly, try to make it dramatic-sounding, and have it as short as possible.

2) Second Impressions makes them stay though!

Okay, you got people to click on your title. Then what? Well, unless you have been granted to have me as a reader (who sometimes gets an urge to review if only because of all faults I see), others will turn away if it does not look appealing.

What *is* appealing?

-Do not have a slow beginning. I have learned the hard way, and I am sure plenty of others have as well. You might think that describing each piece of clothing your characters wear are essential, but your readers to not. They WILL be bored, and they WILL close the window. If nothing of interest happens or if nothing interesting is said/described, what makes you think people will still read? You have a tough crowd. Never expect patience. Always ask yourself; Is this paragprah necessary? How does it contribute? Can I make it sound better?

-Do not post your chapters without having edited and spell checked. This also better be done several times. Yes, *several*. Because you will always notice something different. An improved quality can pay off and make you actually readers who like the story (and hopefully, review)

-Do not have large bulks of paragraphs. If a reader sees that the paragraphs are 10 lines long, they will hit the back-button faster than you can say "Huh?". This is a computer screen, and your text must be screen-friendly. Do you expect people to cope with damaged retinas just for you?

-Do not feature a topic in the summary that is barely even scartched upon in the actual story. The reader will find themselves dissapointed and angry. If your summary says your maincharacter will be stranded on a deserted island, don't have him instead living a normal life in N.Y with no signs of even wanting to go on an airplane ride.

Yes. This scenario has actually happened. Least to say, I was dissapointed with not getting the topic I thought I would.

Point is, you want to cut to the chase without rushing it. This is an art to master, and takes time (anyone who says differently is a liar or Shakespeare reborn. And I highly doubt the latter).

3) Connections Makes Life Warm And Fuzzy

Don't just sit there, ogling the screen and clicking the update button, hoping a review has appeared! Go out on the site! "Mingle". There are several ways it could pay off:

a) The Review Way

You read and review recent works, preferably in the genre you yourself have written. Why recent? That means the author is active. Give him/her a little concrit. Hopefully, they will be grateful enough to review you back. If not? Well, you spread the review love, did you not? That in itself is a good thing! This site needs more of it, so don't you dare regret doing it.

b) The Forum Way

There are several forums within this site, as you surely must have noticed by now. You ARE reading this topic, are you not? Talking with others, socializing, and maybe even pimping your stuff in some random threads might get you friends that review you (and that you hopefully review back. Spread the love, after all!)

c) The RPG in Forum Way

I have personally not tried this one. But I read another person stating, that when RPGing with his characters (from his stories, of course!), it made those he RPGed with (sorry for my lack of better terms. I have no idea what else to call it. A game? *shrugs*) interested in his characters. This did after all leave a first hand view of how the author writes. If good enough; you might just attract the right attention. And readers.

d) The Keep-Your-Gang Way

So you have someone already reviewed your story. Wonderful! Read it and be delighted! But it does not end there! Readers, like authors, appreciate attention. Be sure to review reply and *acknowledge* their concrit or uplifting comments. This will also make them more prone to come back for more. Don't be hostile in your review reply. Believe me, as a reader, that has been a turn-off for me, and I have stopped reading/reviewing their story due to it. Even nonchalance (that you don't take their concrit into consideration or just shrug it off) will make the reviewer feel unappreciated and more prone to NOT read and to NOT review. That's not what you want, is it?

4) You Have To Walk the Walk

No one is really expecting the new literal Einstein of this generation. Nor the next Tolkien (Oh god, no more Tolkien rip-offs, please!). But do be sure to spend some time plotting out the story and the characters. If your story seems unrealistic, your characters are flat, and your writing resembles that of a 10 year old, you won't get noticed much (except maybe by flamers...?) Point is, if you sincerely do try to better your story, quality *will* improve. Better quality can make more readers. (I wouldn't say this is always the truth though. There are exceptions to every rule, but don't count on being it).

5) But how do I get the bloody reviews?!

You don't. You can't force people to review you. Some say you should kindly ask for reviews at the bottom of the chapter in the author note, some says not to do it as it comes off as desperate. I personally don't know which works. But if you have read this list and taken it to heart, your chances of getting reviews have increased, in comparison to how it would be if you just uploaded your story and logged out the moment after.

Never forget though! At first, your default settings regarding reviews are that you won't allow anonymous reivewers to review. This is a *loss*. I remember when I had no account. I wanted to review many stories but could not due to this restriction. So be sure to rid of it, and your chances increases yet again!

Recommendations:

Pay if Forward

This C2 features stories that are special, if only because of the gain you can get from them. If you review a story in there, the author *has* to review you back.

Nifty, isn't it? If they don't review you back, remind them. If they don't reply after this; tell the staff so they can get rid of him.

Reviews Found - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reviewers_found (added by concerto49)

It's a group mainly based on young fiction press writers. You can post up stories you want people to look at etc, and there are discussions about stuff and all. The main point here is you will be placed in a group, and within that group, you rotate around to review each other (each person gets 10 days and has to make 3 reviews - proper - they have some rules, but not exactly). Once the whole group is done with each other, you switch groups and the moderator and all makes a new list and assigns new groups. The cycle goes on - it is a reviewer system like in RR here - just more people, and all.

Young Writers 101 - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/youngwriters101 (added by concerto49)

This group is huge. Mainly writers that can get to know each other and help each other out. Another FP based community. The rules here is you most post 1 message per week (at least) - like either about your story or anything else. I think the only rule is - if someone posts up a message with their story, and summary, and asks for help, unless you don't like the genre and topic - you have to give your constructive opinion on it. And so other people will do so for you as well.

Review Revolution

Why, of course! This place exists if only to give out reviews. Do be wary though. You have to give to get later on. If you don't review others, the members will know and thus, when your week comes up; "forget" to review. Harsh but effective. You get rewarded in the end, after all.

The Review Game

It's a topic here on this forum, and is very straight forward. It gives you a quick review whenever you feel the need. But you need to give one to get one. Go to the topic itself for more details. Everyone can join it and earn themselves a review! (and you may join multiple times as well)

---

Now, as you all can see, I was immensely BORED which caused me to write this. But please, lets take it seriously, and give pointers! If you think I have missed something or said something wrong, DO mention it!

Spread the review love!

And give pointers, for the love of God! What has and hasn't worked for you? I'll add more pointers and recommendations as we go on.

*laughs* you've already posted in that topic several times already ^^; It's the "Review titles and summaries" topic. D'oh! ^^

EDIT:

I just want to add this, since apparently I am not allowed to edit my post anymore, the Review Game have switched location.

Review Game

http://www.fictionpress.com/forum/The_Review_Game/1867/

And also, there is a new way to get reviews, but you compete for the reviews! It's called The Review Marathon .

http://www.fictionpress.com/topic/1867/182555/1/

Ok, done now :)

*starts to laugh madly*

But about the Pay if Forward;

joining it won't really get you reviews, I have noticed. You need to take action and review others, because that community is sort of not so known yet, so not people seek out to review their members. Just so you and everyone else knows. Review them! Joining doesn't add up to much :/

Nice suggestions btw. I have yet to see any consistent person leave wonderful reviews (nor that many wonderful reviews out on the site) so I haven't encountered that yet. I blame my n00bness though ^^

I'm new! So I can get away with everything! Ha!

How many people have you reviewed by this way, may I ask?

I have yet to see any consistent person leave wonderful reviews...--Why, me, of course! I leave wonderful reviews 99.9% of the time! I always say -something- useful. Sheesh.

:P I was talking about when I scan through the just in sections of each genres, doofus! *smacks* But don't kid yourself, darling. MY reviews are to die for!

I understand about leaving LOADS of reviews and getting nothing back. I have given like 200 reviews already :P And I didn't really start to get any back until Pay it forward (I *did* get some from others, so it DOES work if sparsely, but mostly pay it forward).

Did anyone try the RPG thing? I have never RPG:ed so it seems strange to me ^^;

Hey, I think somewhere back in one of the clogged forums somebody mentioned that they had seen someone turn an RP they had done into a story. I tried that once, but my 9th grade lameness came back to haunt me. Since then, I've tried twice to turn it into a story and failed both times. But I'ma keep tryin' biatch! Actually, I've got another attempt hidden away somewhere...I should bring it out for peeps to look at and tell me what they think.

If you find a nice RP(G) forum around tell, let me know and I'll check it out ^^ (who knows, n00bish me might consider joining. GASP!)

We can be nooblets together!

Oh, and yes. if you do find good RPG forums, tell me ok? I'll post the links so others can be there. :P Woot!

Any other suggestions on getting review-love? Communities you know of? People? Anyone?

?Tu comprendas mis palabras? *Actually does speak Spanish, so that is not just gibberish*

There is also the tendency to allow anon reviews and then add reviews of your own under other names. People do this to draw in more people, the more reviews, the more popular something shall seem, so several authors will imploy this tactic. Occasionally, there will be the case of the alter ego, where an author has more than one penname and several accounts on here.

But honestly? Reviews are reviews even if they were given by your own alter ego or another personality!

Keep 'em coming folks!

Fool! *smacks Arky* She hasn't joined yet! -.-

And hello rain cloud of DOOM! :D Be sure to bring us more enlightenment whenever ya can!

I always seem to miss words when I type to fast... Oh well, people usually get the idea...

Well, I'm off to reread the other forums...

Most of my posts have expounded on my deep-seeded sadness at Fred Weasley's passing. I'm clinging to his brother as a bit of a life-support device, to keep me from completely losing my mind...

*insanity much?*

*hugs George Weasley to make up for it. Now Stress/Fuss/Miss (whatever I'm being called today) and George go to buy ice cream and try to forget the pain*

@Miss I said I wanted to be different. I might go a little crazy now that I think of it. Let's try. *Gives Miss a kiss* - now I wrecked it perhaps. Never mind.

I personally haven't got to the stage where I was going to make other accounts and all since that's like cheating the system. I mean in that sense you could give yourself 100 reviews for every story. Then what's the point? Just against me personally.

In fact, I should say I've reviewed anyone that has put a thing of mine on favourites/alerts or given me a review. It was like a bunch or so :( but still. Even if I knew who read it, perhaps I'll give them a review.

Ha, Fractured - unfortunately I did FSP not just for FP in the sense that it's more of a book thing, and not how to get reviews here and all so I won't include that. In terms of writing a better story though, I'll continue on with that there.

As I've pointed out if you do want to suck up to reviews without ethics or personality or yourself - post a romance/drama/etc - e.g. My boyfriend fell in love with the girl next door. All those simple ideas sell. If you had something really complicated they won't really get it. I know it makes a bad story just doing that, but that's the point - I've seen heaps of bad stories with a lot of reviews based on these things.

Oh and the truth is I return reviews anyway regardless and I have joined Pay it Forward ages ago, but note if you see me in there, I ain't returning reviews for mine done in RR week, since I'll review yours when it's your week anyway.

Seems like people on this forum have their own different nicknames for Confounded Mistress! Uh, yeah, I don't have a nickname (just drop off the Kim and call me Serom ^_~) What'd I'd find easiest is to call CM (Confunded Mistress) by her real name, but she wouldn't like that!

~Mold~

That's all I shall say, because DarkBlysse hasn't finished the book yet.

*George and I cry over ***

I have a dream. I have a dream that my characters will someday be remembered in the hearts of many.

But concon, don't be so pessimistic what with "Oh the cliché sells!". Bwah! I've yet to see that . Proof me! And don't tell people to sell out :/

Now go and edit your posts containing the spoilers, and feel SHAME! SHAMEEEE!

We lost Blysse to HP spoilers! *clings to DB's* Don't leave me, biatch!! .

Sorry, I just thought since I'd already said that Fred died at least fifteen times in various other forums, you kind of knew...

Can you forgive me for being such a retard...?

*probably not...*

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