|Katana No Kaji
I am working on a basic mainline for what I hope to develop into an kind of series containing several books. However, there's something missing from it. I'm not quite sure what it is... Can someone read the first bit here and see if you can figure out what it is? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
The man paused to catch his breath, ice blue slitted eyes slightly luminescent in the cover of the underpass as they darted back and forth. Finding no danger in his immeadiate vicinity, he printed through the shadows in a practiced pattern along a path familiar to him, not dropping a wary guard until his lanky form vaulted over the rusty iron gate surrounding the cemetary.
Sindri sighed as he settled into the familiar setting and a small smile even stole over his lips as he made his way to the back of the cemetary. His stealthy feet took him past the small generic headstones as he adjusted his package, watching as the gravemarkers grew larger, more elaborate, and increasingly decrepit. He licked his unusually long canines when he traversed the small footbridge of old, warped planks of oak in anticipation, the man's wolfy eyes searching the darkness for something only he knew existed there.
See the stories page and click on kauli-kai at katananokaji.webs.com if you need more of the story...4/02/2009 #1
I need more information to know what the story needs, or maybe more information is what it needs. Why are vampires and werewolves sorry i mean lychans and vampires and a human together. Why are the lycans names so long, i'll reread and try to find out what you need.4/15/2009 #2
|Katana No Kaji
The two lycans are together because they are mates. The human was an unexpected pick-up, a girl who had already been living in the cemetary (as in, she is homeless), and stumbled across the group. The vampire is with the group for similar reasons, having been out on his own and a 'misfit' that Sindri (the male lycan) picked up and let him travel with them.
Sindri- leader, mate to Eitri. Lycan-vampire mix, outcast among both peoples. Identifies with and has a fatherly or older brotherly affection for Kanaji
Eitri- 'second in command', mate to Sindri. Lycan woman, left her family (which disapproved of the union) to travel with Sindri. Harbors an intense dislike for Kanaji, enjoys starting trouble between Kanaji and the other members of the group.
Kanaji- joined the group through encouragement by Sindri. Vampire male, appears in his teens, very attached to Kauli and takes care of her almost constantly. Other vampires around him drove him from their 'coven' of sorts because of his inclination towards humans and extreme dislike of killing- and his diet of animal blood didn't help matters.
Kauli- lived in the cemetary as a runaway before Sindri and his group passed through, and became part of their group by discovering them. human female, around 10 or so years. Has a mild liking for Kanaji, views him as her best friend. Until recently, she thought him to be a human with unusually pointed teeth, although nothing was done to dissuade the fact that Kanaji was a vampire. Views Kanaji as a brother of sorts, Eitri as a stepmom and Sindri as a father.
The names, such as 'Vampire Lycan Sindri' and 'Lycan Succubus Eitri' are not their real names. These are merely very long descriptions of sorts that were made up spur of the moment to tease eachother. Plus, it was the best way I could come up with to introduce the fact that Sindri was both Lycan and vampire, besides just outright saying it.
Does this help a little?5/20/2009 #3
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