Meh. My most recent ideas are, the one I have that I posted, and one about a girl, or boy, I actually didn't decide before shunning the project because I couldn't figure out how to start it... anyway, the town where s/he comes from, on their fifteenth birthday they go in to see the prophess, who tells them what they're going to do with their life (yey, lots of choice for everyone, right?). But anyway, on his/her fifteenth birthday, they go in to see her, and she goes into spasms, can't talk, etc. Finally she manages to say that they need to listen to their echo, which doesn't really make sense because an echo is just whatever you say repeated back to yourself. So, they kind of ignore her until about a year later when they're in trouble with the law (not for anything they actually did) and also being chased by people who hate them for an undecided reason. One of the people in their group (yes, they have a little group of friends helping them) accidentally stands in plain view of the huge group of people chasing them, s/he gets all mad and shouts "You idiot! They'll find us now!" (Oops, forgot to say they're in a mountain range, where, you guessed it, /echoes/ thrive.) And the echo comes back, says the exact same thing as him/her, except it's not his/her voice that says it, and there's extra words tacked on. It turns out that they were meant to find the DRAGONS (ooh, ahh). Yes, yes. Lame, I know, but it almost seemed cool when I thought of it.

I can actually a pretty interesting story coming out of that... I like to think of the original idea as the ore, and the final story/plot as the shiny metal that comes from it. I like similies and metaphors :D

Okay, so there's this neighbourhood where everyone on the block (even some of the adults) play an annual game of hide-and-seek, and the winner always gets the "seat of honour" at the big barbecue later in the day. But, one year, (dun dun dun...) something /wierd/ happens. They all get transported to a different world (I'm not sure how such a huge disappearance would remain un-noticed by the media...), where they have to play hide-and-seek to survive. The winner, the one with the best hiding place, gets to live. The /evil/ perpetrator of the game (who has no motivation whatsoever at the moment) is "it", and she's got spies, so it's harder to stay hidden. But, the winner has a chance at saving the lives of all their friends if they can (and I haven't decided between two options on this yet) either get through a labyrinth in one hour or less, or find a certain item in one hour or less. Maybe the whole game of hide-and-seek will be inside a labyrinth, and the item is hidden within the labyrinth...

And they don't find the item, but they know where it is, because their best friend actually found it while they were playing the game. So, maybe, since the item was already hidden, it's an annual event in the other world, too.

I don't know. It's a really wierd idea. It would probably make a better parody than anything else.

Heh. I'm happy because I get to write a four-page story for my homework :D It's a spin-off from Some Kids and the Need for a Plot... involving characters who shall be met in Chapter 5...

Good idea! Then the ideas aren't wasted.

Okay then. A few months ago I came up with a fantasy story and tried to write it, but I couldn't continue it. I'll try again soon when I get my other projects out of the way, but here's the story that I came up with:

*takes a deep breath*

The story happens in a world (can't come up with a name for it) that has a technology level similar to mid-20th century Earth. There's been a long period of unease between two nations that is finally cooling off and, for the most part, most of the inhabitants are at peace. There are stories and legends of knights fighting dragons, of giant sea monsters and epic quests from all over the world, similar to the Roman and Greek mythologies... and all the stories are dismissed as nothing but myths.

Anyways, the story actually starts in Telio (one of the nations in the world) in a mid-sized town. It sits at the feet of a large mountain chain. The main character, Kyle Tennan, lives on a ranch with his sister and parents about half an hour from the town. One night he can't get to sleep one night and goes outside, seeing a series of bright flashes and flares coming from the mountain chain. He doesn't think much of it and goes about his usual business the next day. That night he gets woken up by the horses, who are acting nervous and are braying at something near their pen. He goes to investigate and finds one of the horses dragged from the pen into the barn, dead. Then he finds what did it: a juvenile dragon. (stay with me, please! I only realised the similarities *after* I saw the Eragon movie!)

The flares that he had seen the previous night were from a battle between a military attack group and several dragons. They were killed one by one until only the little dragon's parent and two siblings were left. She managed to escape while the parent held off the others. The dragon can speak some english, but not much; it tells Kyle that it and its tribe were trying to find someone that they called "The Ancient". Kyle acts like anybody else would in that situation until - surprise, surprise - the military force that were on the mountain takes over the town in an attempt to search for the dragons. Things go badly and Kyle's parents and sister are taken away for questioning when the dragons are found but they get away.

At this point, he agrees to help the little dragon to find The Ancient, but only to save his sister.

Well, that's about all I had planned out in detail. :)

It's about a sarcastic and irritable devil named Richard, and his quest to find something humourous to do. The downside is, is that his new incompetent henchmen, a group of Smaglins called Oapla, Krypsmere, Llandoworff and Tim, are just so stupid and dim that all his plans to offend and topple everyone go pear-shaped, not helped by the fact that a group of angels are trying to open a rift in the space time continuum and invade Hell. Also not helped by the fact that everyone hates his guts...except the Smaglins, who are too stupid to know. So he decides to take it all into his own hands, unsuccessfully, while attending as many parties as he can and drinking tea like there's no tomorrow.

I know, it's incredibly stupid... :( I'm actually sort of making the story up as I go along, because it's so random, it has to be ;)

(edited to destroy a typo!!!!)

I'm just making up Some Kids and the Need for a Plot as I go along (go figure), too. I have a general plot lain out, but for what actually happens in each chapter, it isn't planned at all... it's quite fun to do it that way.

Anyways. *goes to read Miriam's story*

Narkul Prophecies Trilogy - The trilogy itself centers around several conflicts that are all linked together. The first conflict has to do with a young man named Addison, a newly annoined Raven Knight - the most elite rank of knighthood in the country of Darkmoor, a country run by a king whose morals are in the dark gray waters - a king whom is not afraid to allow slavery and do whatever it takes to get ahead in power. Both he and his brother Tobias are knights, and when Addison sees a slavegirl from the desert known as Sedeena, his morals are challenged, for his mentor taught him the virtue of honor above all else... and to Addison slavery had no honor within. After he decides to exile himself from Darkmoor and free Sedeena, he becomes a fugitive, and of all people, his own brother leads a search to find and kill him. The second conflict has to do with Darkmoor as a nation and how they work an alliance with the Djionjish - swamp lords on the eastern continent - so that they might help each other conquer their enemies... and this ties into the third conflict. There is a race of shapeshifters known as the Elder race - for they were the first sentient beings after the dragon age. A long thought banished "subrace" of evil Korrash(the shapeshifters) surfaces and they are hungry for blood. All of this ties into everything, as eventually every conflict meets when choices must be made. There is no absolute good and evil in the end.

Book 1 the 10th Prophecy - The first book in the trilogy that I'm writing mostly deals with Addison's moral choices, his deteriorating relationship with his brother Tobias, and his attraction for the slavegirl Sedeena, and it really focuses on his story, and how he becomes a fugitive, and where he goes and what he does as a knight. It also sets up the Narkul conflict when a band of hunters learn a powerful shadow priest has begun a ritual to bring back the banished race. Book 1 explains the characters, sets up and develops the key relationships and gives an important history lesson without being dull.

Book 2 the Swamps of Despair - The second book in the trilogy compared to the first book is like comparing action versus romance. While the romance themes between Addison and Sedeena are explained further, the second will really focus on Addison's time as a fugitive, his confrontations with his brother, and the consequences of treason, even if he did it for the right reasons. The Narkul plot is going to come to fruition in this one... in book 1 we have the set up, and in book 2 it is the moment of despair... the turning point where all seems lost... nobody knows who the Narkul are, what they want, and why they do what they do. Think the first alien attacks in Independence Day, when the victims have no idea how to defend themselves

Book 3 "Narkul" - The third book will really focus on the final confrontation between Addison and Tobias, the ultimate showdown between the Korrash and the Narkul, the revealing of another Elder Race that has remained secret, and the resolution to everything opened up in book 1.

Yeah... like I said. Complex :p

Ayrlyn gets more then she bargained for on a normal trip to the market. She end up setting the whole place on fire, and, not without a lot of hard work, manages to use her magic to put the flaming marketplace out. The townspeople are terrified of her, and exile her on the grounds that she is the reincarnation of Cern, the Goddess of death and Fire. One elf, however, is very interested in this, and kidnaps Ayrlyn to use in her own perverse plans. Is Ayrlyn really the reincarnation of Cern, Goddessof death and Fire, or is Aine, her kidnapper, just wasting her time. And if Ayrlyn is Cern reborn, what happened to the *first* incarnation of the Deity?

So...what do you guys think?

It is called Tales of Altomia: The Box and is about the journey of an enchanter named Jared Starfist and his two escorts, Lauren Wiseblade (who is a guy) and Hurdill Mimsy the Takma (I have some information about Takmas somewhere, I think). Jared has some business to attend to at Fort Luna, and needs two Slayers (that is, Lauren and Hurdill) to fight off Vampires, Undead and Wights. The bad thing is, is that Jared is the most unusual and emotionless person in the universe, wears a heavy monocle that falls off and smashes quite alot, and carries an odd Box which seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. Unfortunately, Lauren is a very curious person and tends to screw things up all the time, and Hurdill has absolutely no sense of direction and makes fun of Lauren at every opportunity. Insanity ensues....

I would love some constructive criticism, and I need to know if the story is clichéd in any way. Because it's a humour story that's slightly parodical and set in a fantasy world, I'm concerned about any similarities it may have to Discworld, and if there's one thing I hate it's copying over people's work and giving it a different layer of paint. Help!

It's basically about a girl who's lived in an isolated little valley her entire life. Her family is highly steeped in their traditions and they live a simple life. They are born, they marry, they till the soil, they die. Every night they gather around a large campfire they set in the middle of the village and the storyteller, the girl's grandmother, tells them stories. But the girl has a restless spirit, she wants to know what lies beyond the valley before the time comes for her to marry and she has to take on all the responsibilities of adulthood.

One day, in a sudden fit of rage, she destroys a priceless family heirloom. In penance, she is forced to journey out into the world to replace it. On the way, she learns more about life, herself, and what she really values.

Intermixed with her story will be a bunch of different fables, each tied to what is happening in some way, and, in some ways, her own story will be like a fable in itself.

What do you think?

Girlbrainiac

I've come up with a new idea! Yay!

It's called Marion's Ducks, and it is about a slightly crazy girl called Marion who likes to talk to birds. One day, she finds a brooch in the shape of a duck, and discovers it can talk and its name is Flippy. Flippy then tells Marion to visit the King of Ducks, named Ruddi, who informs Marion that she is one of a group of humans called the Avians, who have this ability to talk to birds, and work for each of the bird kingdoms to help them gain favour with the Bird Spirits. However, some people Marion encounters in her day to day life turn out to be Avians too, and they are out to cause chaos for Marion and her ducks.

I don't know whether I should post the story on fictionpress, because I don't think it's that good...but opinions are most welcome ^^

And, perhaps it's worth noting that my world does not have an evil overlord. XD

Actually, I know of a few stories without evil overlords. Beyond the Dragon Portal is one of my favorite books ever--the writing and the plot are great, and there's no actual evil! *gasp* Secret of the Sirens has a head bad guy, but he's not truly evil, he just hates humans to death. XP The Fire Thief doesn't have evil... my story doesn't have an evil overlord... yet XD The sequel will because it'll need to be cliche so I can make fun of the cliches. But the first one will be filled with evil. Oh, how fun that will be to write...

I do like that idea, Girlbraniac. I agree with Miriam that it sounds like an armchair book. Maybe one you'd read during the winter, sitting in front of the fire and drinking hot cocoa and all curled up in your chair... and I'm going to fall asleep if I don't stop talking about that XD Anyways, I can't wait to read it!

Mirian, if you post your story, I'll be more than happy to read it, review it, the works. I think you should. ^^

Okay, here's the story me dad wants me to write, but I don't know...

Joe is an avid butterfly collecter. He LOVES them, and wants nothing more than to capture the rarest butterfly of them all--a pixie. Or, more specifically, the Pixie Queen. So he enlists the help of the Biker Gnomes, some really gruff little guys who know where the pixies live. So they go, some awesome stuff happens, and then Joe ends up in a cage, exactly what would have happened to the Pixie Queen had he caught her. It's a short parable about irony. Interested?

I don't know...it'd be about three chapter long, and have a twist ending. Sound interesting? Putting it like THAT -points upwards- makes it sound rather dull.

By the way, happy Hallowe'en, everyone. ^^;

Well . . . I'm currently working on a tetralogy (which I've tried to title with no avail) about a war taking place in my own world. I've written it about three times (first book, anyway) but each time I restarted. So I posted it here to make sure I got it right. It's called 'The Flaming Hall' -- I could use some detection of cliches in the plot. In synopsis it's about the delivery of the Elixir of Life to the pantheon of the Gods, the Flaming Hall. I'm going to type the whole of the plot, with some CRUCIAL parts ommitted, so that it may be critiqued entirely. I don't want to write the basics and then get scrutinised over the rest later. So here it is, in full:

It basically starts in the city Barad, which is a thief city underground, and centres (somewhat) about the orphan Zephyr and his friend Chayn. They graduate from the Thieves Guild of Barad, and just in time for the election of a man named Elhredt to the High Council. Not long after, Elhredt pursuades an army of Orcs to lay siege to Barad. A defence ensues, but the city falls -- the last scraps of the council and the Headmaster of the Thieves Guild, Gandling, lead a last charge out of the city, carrying the Elixir of Life, the highest and most sacred treasure within the city. The Orcs are defeated, Elhredt is killed, and several councilmen die. Zephyr and Chayn survive, and, with Gandling, decide to deliver the Elixir to the Flaming Hall so the Dark Lord (yeah, I used Dark Lord :P) Vegna cannot get it, because whoever drinks it cannot be killed by any means, but must wander in darkness when the world ends.

They take refuge in the Dwarf city Brinksar (and gain a member, Deltan), and then traverse the Underworld until they finally reach the surface. There they encounter the great horsemen of Ascrande. A horrible tragedy occurs then, and Lord Cypress, along with two squires, Vyne and Draitel, joint the group. They enter the great forest Greenvale, and meet with a rogue Dark Elf named Cerbane, who Cypress befriended years prior. Cerbane leads them through a perilous road to Greenvale's heart, which is protected by Rangers, and it is at the entrance that Draitel goes rogue and kills Cypress, declaring his true allegience to Vegna. Vyne, enraged, fights him, but does not kill him, and Draitel flees, injured and unarmed. Cerbane, very knowledgeable in the landscape of the continent, assumes leadership of the group. While stopping in a small village near the foot of Inthruena, a dark mountain, they take in two more members: a Halfling, named Bicus, and a Shade (my own race) named Vicus. Though they claim no relation and state their names are aliases, they do not reveal their own names, and carry a very brotherly bond.

In Inthruena, the group passes over a legendary Dark Elf city, which fell into ruin when Cerbane, prince of the heirarchy, grew disgusted with the evil ways of his kindred and, with a small band of others, fled the city. Their deities grew angry, and brought wrath upon the city, killing the Dark Elves and trapping their spirits. Cerbane, upon a long bridge spanning the entire city, takes on the whole of the city while the others escape. Bicus and Vicus try to help, however, and Cerbane, to save them, jumps off the bridge and into the darkness of the city. Here Bicus recieves a powerful dagger (sword-sized to him) called Lucbara. With this and Cerbane's own holy spear, the group manages to destroy the curse over the city and flee to sunlight.

The others, led by Vyne, make their way to Corlain, captain of the high-blooded Cerethrond. There they receive small shelter and regroup with Cerbane and co. They head to the nearby port-city, Druth, and catch a ride on the Mist Dancer, a ship owned by captain Farthas. The boat is attacked by a Daemon and a small group of wraiths, who poison Zephyr because he is holding the Elixir. Upon docking on Orunutia, the mist-shrouded continent where the Flaming Hall is located, along with many Elven kingdoms, the group is told to follow the river Narthane, and there would be an Elf village that can help them. They are on, however, the wrong side, and go seven days without any contact with Elves. Then the Wraiths pursue them, until the larger members of the group outrun the smaller members (Zephyr, Chayn, Bicus, and Vicus). The four are forced to make a stand on a small hill, where Zephyr blacks out as Bicus and Chayn throw theirselves in front of the pursuers.

He wakes in the Flaming Hall, safe, and with the Elixir safe in the hands of the Gods. His friends are all safe, and attend a council with one of the Gods, Arkandor, ruler of the Gods themselves. He commemorates them, and tells them that two other armies are allied under the Dark Lord: the fallen wizard Siclomail, and the mighty Orc-king Angmer. Siclomail raises an army of daemons and strange creatures from the Abyss upon the ice continent Chultia; Angmer raises an army of Orcs on the desert continent Vetrea. They agree to head to each continent and attempt to counter the Enemies, starting with Siclomail. The Flaming Company is born -- and as they sail away to Chultia, Book I ends.

That took a while . . . now, please, someone beat the CRAP out of that. Tell me what works, what sucks, and what I need to change. Keep in mind that some of it is already posted, like Deltan, so I can't change some things. So far I'm leaving Brinksar. Feel free to ridicule everything after that. Oh, and keep in mind . . . I first wrote this on Notepad when I was 9. Compared to the original, this is advanced.

I have been thinking of ideas for about a few months now and decided before i lost them i should put em on paper or Text :D Im not the best writer but im trying to improve myself as i advance.

I would gladly welcome any and all criticism ( yeah i know my spelling sucks =( thats why i use Word)

Currently have writen 13 to 14 chapters However because of my neglect i havent edited most of the chapters.

However the first chapter has been heavily Edited.

Heres my summary of the First chapter.

My Story is Set in the fictional city of Vastion. It lies on the Southern most point of the world.

In the city two figures make there way towards the city wall (A giant wall that surrounds the city).

The Two people are Adam and Seth. Seth is a five year old boy not to sure why he has been dragged out of bed in the middle of the night for. Adam is his father and is an adult(age not determined yet). They are in the poor district of the city. They reach a small tavern and Seth is told to wait with Adam.

They head into the alley way near the street to wait. Then about an hour or so later Seths mother comes. Seth however is confused to See that she is holding a child which Seth is then told to be his baby brother.

Seth wants to hold him but she tells him not right now. He begins to cry and she gives him a small crystal in order to Calm him down (which it does). Seths mother known as kateline then discusses with Adam, if anything went wrong. He reassures her and tells her of his plans to leave the city with the help of Quess (a character in the story).

She is not completely happy with this arrangement, but she gives into him. Then Quess does appear and is sternly warned by Adam, if anything should happen to his family he will die. Quess complies then tells them of his escape plan through the caves of ilbi. Reluctently Adam agrees to go that way and they head down the small alley way to the very end. And Quess opens a secret door in the wall at the end of the alley.

They head into it to find a large cave or caves surrounding them. Guess shows them through the safe parts of the cave. about half way through the caves Quess stops. He informs Adam that they are being followed. Adam who is furious throws Quess in anger but stops once he sees Seth crying. Adam grabs Seth and prepares to Leave however. Quess says that they will not escape even if they run twice as fast. So Quess offers to Defend the passage from anyone that comes by. Adam thanks him and calls him "friend" then Leaves. Quess then takes comfort in knowing that he has one freind in the world.

Take in mind this is only a small part and is still the first chapter.

Summary,

A dark knight goes to a tomb and meets the spirit of his friend and mentor from when he was good. Fast forward now and he's in doubt if his dark order is right for him so he quits and takes off to live away from the struggles of good and bad.

Unfortunately, the warrior gets drawn back to the role of good very slowly and must do a few kick butt things to right the wrongs of the dark order.

But, really, the minion thinks it could be pulled off right, though would require some pretty good writing, not too much into the wangst (angst is perfectly fine in moderate ammounts,) and/or an interesting main character.

It's about a nonhuman girl named Julia whose family has arranged a marriage. However, she wants to wait for her soulmate and runs away from home. While most of her species is unattractive by human standards, she is somewhat pretty. She joins a group of human nomads and begins to travel the world. Chasing after her is a trio led by her elder brother.

This is, of course, an incredibly cliche story. If you have made it this far, I'm impressed.

It is vital that she go through with this marriage. It is the only reasonable way to stop a feud between her family and that of the groom. Her failure to do so is ensuring that more murders will occur. The elder brother is the protagonist of the story and it is his journey that makes up the plot.

Title: Elegant Emotions

Summary: Little does Luna know that her flawed life is but a part of an engineered competition that her brother participated. However, there is a lot more than simply a competition and a prize, but an evil attempt at altering humanity for life.

Thank you.

To start off with, it's pronounced Ra-jeer-ee-ok. This is a normal fantasy world for the most part. I got its name because the MAIN plot (yes, there are about 200 subplots. I actually go through the first four books without explaining what they really SHOULD be trying to do.) revolves around the Behemoth, the Leviathan, and the Ziz.

(End of the world, people.)

The first four books, which kick off the entire thing, and the only ones I have planned out yet, are about 11 mainstay people with a few iregularities. Now this alone will raise some eyebrows. Yes, 11 people. The reason I do this is that I hate the fact that when you read a book, you always believe that if the MC dies at all he/she will die at the end. In a fight scene halfway through the book with an enormously powerful henchmen of the antagonist, you know that the MC will win, because otherwise the rest of the book would be blah, pointless, and moot. With 11 characters (And their different POV's will be spread out, I won't have 11 in one book...) I fix this problem. I already have a good few I know I'll LOVE to kill off. Why? Because it will be dramatic and painfull. You'll feel the tears of their true love, feel the anguish as their soul leaves their body. C'mon, having a mainstay regular hero was cliched the moment Odysseus walked onto the scene. I like originality, so that's why their are 11 characters.

Now these charcters are just attempting to band together in the first book. It has absolutely no contributions to the overall plot besides for positioning each and every character where they need to be, and give a sort of backround for the next three. This one is told from the perspective of the Hero/orphan, the Mercenary, the Betrayed, and little tidbits from the Pirate, the Frozen, and the Mage.

The second book is from the position of the Mixed (You'll see why I call her that), the Ninja (i'm gonna have fun with this one...), the Mercenary (He's baaack), the Pirate (more than a chapter), the Frozen, and the Mage (no tidbits... I think). It is about the gathering of the _________. I will NOT reveal ALL my secrets!!!

And the next two? Mwahahaha! NOT TELLING!

So here are the people: The Hero/Orphan, The Mercenary, The Exile, The Pirate, The Mixed, The Ninja, The Frozen, The Mage, The Burdened, The Savior, And The Betrayed.

And here is, of course, a prophecy. Where would worlds be without one?

"A line of Men, Wood, Sea, and others approaches. They will fight, though they know not the real battle. And time itself will bend in a way the Gods themselves cannot fathom. The Sword will be reforged, and the Stones realigned. And from these their descendants shall spring, marching towards the endless summit at the top of the world. Wither they win or lose shall not matter, for the evil will be vanquished, and the quarrellings in the heavens shall cease. And the world of Rekeor shall be at peace once more..."

Shattered Moon, the name of my story, has the id 2447239.

---------------------

Itara: Lightborn is the first in a trilogy taking place on the continent of Itara, on the world of Cyre (pronouced "SIGH-yer."). It is a completed novel of apx. 270,000+ words. Lighborn follows the story of Mason Antarius Kitch, the grandson of Tomalk and Nimya i'Lare --a Blacksmith and an herbalist-- as we learn of his life in C'reseth, and the change he goes through when told to travel to the trade city of Khale in the heart of the continent. There he must seek out Coros Nighean (pron. "ny-HEE-yan."), a friend of the family. He vies for a space traveling with Jareth Cennad, the Warrior, and Khyler Fannisand, the Gedni, in order to dwindle the chances of being robbed by highwaymen. Izzika the Fire Sprite tags along on her own adventure. They agree to part in Khale.

It would seem a less daunting task if not for the ever-present forces of the Svorin Dominion. Having driven fear and hatred for magic into the populace for the last fifty years, life for some has become a nesting bed of conspiracies fueled by justice seekers eliminating all threats to their livelyhood. If one is labled to posess magic, or sympathise with its bearers, they are hunted as well. It was a perfect plan to opress the peoples of Itara to the will of Tochravanthis, the Krai'ta'or --the Dragon Master. His loathing for P'nai trumps that of all others. The mystery of the i'Shjal --the Book of the Brothers--is always on his mind. His obession brought about a new age: The Age of Darkness.

What happens from this point on surprises them all as one feels compassion, one learns to love, one learns the true meaning of friendship, and one learns to smile. Four more join them with reasons of their own. Together with his companions, Mason must test the trials of a war-torn land and find the i'Shjal before history can repeat itself.

There is more beneath the surface of their stories than can be seen, and more that lies in the balance that can be imagined. Redemption... How much is this one word worth?

So.... my writing has been sparce over the year as I've been trying to shy away from -high fantasy- and embrace more or less a Swords and Sorcery style. Low fantasy, no elves, dwarves, or anything of that kind.

Anyway. Here's my current story.

It will be titled "The Barbarian King."

The story is basically about the two barbarian races in my world. (One of them is based off of the Norse, and one of them is loosely based off of the Cimmerians in Robert E. Howard's Conan) The Arak and the Vánareim are both races of barbarians. The Arak live in the forests, while the Vánareim live up in the tundra and the mountains surrounding the tundra. Both could be classified as noble savages in that they fight with honor, speak bluntly and honestly, and neither are fond of civilization. They prefer their tribes and clans. Their religious beliefs however - differ. The Arak worship the spirits of nature, specifically the qualities of predatory animals, whereas the Vánareim follow the gods of War, Strategy, Victory and Valor. The two races are ancestral enemies, not because of the differences, but simply because it is the way of things.

Now here's where the story comes in.

The Forsetti (think Romans) are a race that believes in conquering. They've already conquered most of their homeland, but have a minor presence on the continent the two barbarian races live on. Now granted there are other races that could defeat the Forsetti easily, these civilized conquerors have avoided those particular lands, and decide they wish to claim the north - where the barbarians live. So they decide to invade - slaughtering barbarians and such.

The story is rather simple. Both the Arak and Vánareim do not want this happen, and so they must unite. One of the Arak Tribal Leaders - who is actually the son of an Arak and the neighboring Méavinar (an Irish inspired part civilized yet still somewhat barbaric race) - is chosen to lead both barbarian races into battle. Unfortunately however, there is not enough time to mobilize every warrior, so he takes but a few with him to make a stand. Obviously the fate is sealed against so many, but the battle strikes a nerve within the Forsetti, and some years later, the Forsetti retreat to their homeland.

The crux of it all comes down to the fact the Barbarians are tired, angry, and want payback, and they choose a Barbarian King to unite the tribes, and clans - and travel across the sea to bring down the Empire.

Spot any cliches?

It sounds like a solid story, assuming you work it out right. This "particular" tale has been told before --namely earth history-- but that doesn't mean you should scrap it. People have been writing such tales of honor and war between peoples. If it wasn't something people wanted to read about, no one would keep retelling it.

That's the trick. Retell it, but retell it in your own way. The same rules go for heavy fantasy. A lot of it is the same, but the story itself, and way its presented are what keep it off the "oh my god, not another one" radar. People love to hear about he heros journey. they just...love it. I say go for it. I say write!

These are your barbarians, and your Forsetti, so make them different. Work on their history, on their family lines, the types of weapons they use, their culture, and on political deals of the Forsetti (if there are any.) Be sure to develope the two so that by the time the war hits, the reader has something invested in all three peoples.

Well, that's my two cents. Don't spend it all in one place. Good luck, and I hope you do write this story.

working on a quadrilogy called The Age of Warriors.

all four center around a ten year long war thats been tearing apart the world. the country Vinghis is largely responsible for the war, and is currently winning it. the story centers around a young man by the name of Fidar. his father was once the governor of a province in the Rhodallian Empire, the biggest opposers of the Vinghans, until he defected to the Vinghan side. eventually Fidar defies his father and flees to Rhodall to start a new, peaceful life away from war. eventually he finds out that he will never find peace until this war is over.

each book will represent a different season. book 1 for winter, book 2 spring, etc. and like all books, the plot thickens and deepens, and eventually leads to the final battle that will forever change the fate of the world.

right now, book one is halfway finished, and i'm working on the notes for the other 3. the first one is called "the banished one" and is on my profile. those who are kind enough to read and review will also be returned the favor

I am relatively new though I am hoping my story is somewhat original. It centres around a young Inquisitor whose mandate is to flush out any religious folk and kill them. On his journeys however he learns the true origins behind his organization and it's founders actual purpose. Any constructive comments are welcome.

Hello there. I've just recently began writing a couple of fantasy tales. This is my first attempt at writing the stories that bounce around in my head. Up until now, I haven't written anything beyond poetry, and the bare minimum for class credits, so I am very new to this.

That said, I would like some advice on one of my stories. The story is about eleven ignored royal children (ranging in age from eight months to 26 years), in a rather simple, far off, magical kingdom. So far, the story has been driven by the characters' personalities bouncing off one another, and creating troublesome situations, but there is no big plot. I haven't been able to come up with antagonists (unless you count them antagonizing each other), any looming disasters, mysteries to unravel, or destinies to fulfill/thwart. Nothing that I come up with seems to fit right. I want to make the story exciting, but I'm stuck as to how. How do you create drastic situations through which characters change? How do you work that change in the characters personality? How do you come up with an epic plot line, without making the story predictable?

As you can see, my focus always returns to the characters. I didn't realize, until a friend pointed it out to me, that I had neglected to figure out the plot. Now I'm stuck, so all and any advice is very, very appreciated.

Thank you for your time.

Usually something tragic (i.e. murder of a close friend, relative) works but that is all too typical. If you want to change the children you might pit them against an enemy that they don't understand (like making them see sickness and being unable to do anything about it). Or perhaps exposing them to things that they can't necessarily understand at all. If you could elaborate more on their backgrounds it would provide light as to what events could change them.

I hope that helps.

I posted on this board a while ago with my synopsis of "Itara: Lightborn."

The book is up on this site under the same name, and it's completed. My editor (an accomplished english teacher and good friend) is reading it for continuity since I have the short term memory of a flea.

Anywho, I've begun work on book two, but am having difficulties coming up with unique, minor plots to fill out until the major plot: The group goes to Yitan. I've got tons of ideas for when they arrive in Yitan, and even have a bit of the ending in mind. But starting it beyond the prolouge ((where three children watch Mason perform magic using water...and messing it up.)) is proving to be as hard as crashing my head through a brick wall. Hello writer's block. I would appreciate a little bit of help, perhaps some small snipits of ideas thrown onto the fire to spark a "hmm, just maybe..."

The ultimate twist is awsome. However, I can't say anything about it until I reach that part in the book, and it might occur in book 3. Believe me. It's bugging the frak outa me not to be able to tell anyone what IT is. *cue dramatic music* ((And no, it has nothing to do with anyone being anyone's father.))

Thanks. :)

I story called Orange Abyss about two weeks ago. The second chapter was uploaded yesterday. Originally, this story was in the mangasection, but I decided that it wasn't fit to become an anime.

Summary: Ruri, a young witch, is in a tight spot. Aside from being one of the few remaining members of Justus, she also possesses the object that can destroy Badd once and for all. Problem is, she can't use it. Who can then?

Spoiler warning

It's basically a story about a young witch named Ruri would comes from Justus, one of the thirteen witch clans. She descended from this powerful guy who was friends with the legendary Jack, and is the guardian of Jack's pumpkin mask, scythe, and powers. Despite all of that, she's still not that talented of a witch. For hundreds of years, her clan has been fighting against another clan named Badd. It's Ruri's duty to find the one who has the ability to use Jack's powers, but she resents her duty. She journeys around with a talking broomstick and a mysterious white cat. One day someone who comes from a group that goes against all witches in general finds her and offers an alliance. After that it's one huge journey, but Ruri can't help but remember her true duty. Can she find the chosen one?

Sorry I can't make the summary any longer. I don't want to give out too many spoilers. I saw the topic about the cliches. Those contain great tips for writing my story, but I'm already guilty of some of those. However, I guarantee that the story is unique and there will be less of those cliches starting from chapter 3.

This story looks cheerful on the surface, but it's actually quite dark. There's also plenty of adventure and action and a small amount of romance(maybe none).

I loved "The Overused Cliche List" by the way, I was between genuine laughter and embarrassment at committing many Cliche Offenses all the way through. But I think that a lot of times cliches are unavoidable, and that as long as you use them sparingly and make sure the ones that you do are presented in a somewhat original manner and aren't outright ripping a particular author off then it's fine. I know that I definitely read and write cliches with the rest of them!

And my story (which I realize sounds cliche, but I can't give everything away. It's not entirely what you'd expect, I promise.)

Goddess Blessed: There's a large back story on it from the previous generation, but I chose to focus on this two part story (see? no trilogy). The story encompasses a continent called Oren, and a girl named Emrianne who is one of the few left who have Old Magic. A type of magic that humans cannot learn, are only born with. So it's not a kind of magic that is used with spells or incantations and it gives the possessor a sensitivity or affinity to nature and all things living. The current ruler of region Emrianne calls home is a usurping Queen named Areida, who not only possesses Old Magic herself but saw to it that many of the people born with Old Magic were killed so no one could challenge her. Though many of them, like Emrianne still live, they don't use their magic for fear of being detected. So when Emrianne is inveigled by a Goddess into leaving her quiet life behind with the intention of meeting her destiny by facing Areida and reclaiming the throne, instead she learns that the lines between good and evil can be blurred, that there is always more than one side to a story and what it really means to be blessed by a Goddess.

Feel free to throw some constructive criticism my way!

My story sounds a bit cliched. A twelve year old girl named Auri finds an item manufactured by angels that allows her to destroy the world. Auri is a malevolent child genius that masks her vast intelligence by acting normal and meticulously maintaining her grades. A pair of angels, Florian and Ceres, are assigned to guard her and advise her. A bit about angels in my story: angels are like artificial intelligences. They are built in series and have serial numbers to classify them. Anyways, the two angels enroll in Auri's school, and follow her around. Unfortunately, many others want her power to destroy the world and recreate it, and many want her dead.

Then there is Isaac, handsome and popular on the outside, evil and homicidal on the inside. He wants Auri to die, and the two demons stoking his evil, Fantine and Hannibal, are very keen on helping him. And then there is the matter of the very shady Hikaru, a Levitate dragon that likes making everyone's lives more complicated.

My angels are very original, I think. Florian is twelve, but is so innocent and naive that he ends up being stupid. Ceres is a pretty but silent angel whose very touch halts cellular respiration and mitosis in organic compounds. She communicates through Morse code and binary with her castanets.

Yeah, me too, my story's masisvely not a cliche, I read the cliche list and just go nuh, nuh, nuh, to the point where I'm starting to get worried: maybe my story's not meant to be on here at all, which is why I haven't posted it yet.

Its about a town where weird things happen. No one has magic powers, except a few people who have them because they're possessed, there is a sort of quest, but its done in a van, and yeah, its done about a mile away from the town centre.

The Villian is a bureaucrat and the main main character doesn't save the day at any point. I could stretch it and say there's a rebellion, but really its just a power struggle in the town council. There's sort of a big battle at the end, only its not very big and more funny than awe-insipring, becuase fighting monsters isn't all that heroic really. I keep thinking about all the environmental impact issues, i mean, is it really fair to kill sometihng because its big and ugly? The characters are significantly un mary-sue like, and even the structure is a bit weird...

The thing is, I know everyone says they hate cliches, but I think secretly most people like them, which is why they're so popular. I suppose its because you already know where the plot's going?

Alrighty, I have a vague feeling that this has been done before, but help me out here:

From Clear to Crimson -- The story of a girl named Kianna who has just turned 15. Up until this point, she has been living a normal life, with her normal friends, Mitsuhara and Inako, her normal father, Tanasuke, and her normal puppy, Meate. But she soon finds out that she's not quite so normal. As she questions her own identity while at the same time fighting both creatures of her former life and mean girls of her current one, will she turn her back on her destiny? Or will she face it and risk losing all that she holds dear to the perils of the journey ahead?

What do you think? Don't hold back now, you hear? The first chappie is already up, and the second is rearin' to go, so just tell me, 'kay?

1. Forums are not to be used to post stories.
2. All discussions, language and content, must be suitable for teens.
3. The owner/moderator(s) of this forum is solely responsible for content posted within this area.
4. All forum abuse must be reported to the moderator(s).

1. Forum admin/moderator
2. Fanatic (on site for more than 2 years)
3. Fan (on site for more than a year)
4. Regular (on site for more than 6 months)
5. Camper (on site for more than a month)
6. Apprentice (on site for more than a week)
7. Newbie (on site for less than a week)