Ok I'm going to list and describe the most overused clichés I keep seeing around fictionpress, with the hopes that someone will read one they were about to fall into.

1) The orphan

"My entire family and/or village was destroyed by my nemesis." Characters need motivation, 'tis true. However, this one is overused, leaves no room for complex character growth, and makes me start to wonder why there are still any villages left.

2) The translator

The main character is the only person on the planet who can speak/psychically commune with the misused/misunderstood/captive beast or race. As often as I've seen this on fictionpress, there really should be no shortage of dragon speakers, snake talkers, and spirit medians. It's fine as a minor character trait (Harry Potter flashback) but really should not be used as the entire focus of the story. This one saddens me because it really can be used to great effect, but has just been abused to often.

3) The whiner

"I didn't want this gift... this curse... but with great power comes great responsibility. Even if I'm not Spiderman." It's fine for characters to get upset or feel alienated on occasion. But somehow, there has on fictionpress developed a plethora of characters that just won't shut up about how getting superpowers have ruined their life. There's a good reason Rogue doesn't get much screen time in the new X-Man movies. Nobody wants to hear her whine.

4) The demigod

Yes, I'm sure you've seen it too; the characters that are so powerful, nothing can ever stand in their way. 'Tis fine in a nemesis, as the hero must find a way to do the impossible. But making a main character of this sort eliminates all potential for conflict. No conflict = no suspense. No suspense = your foreshadowing becomes useless, along with your plot.

Please, feel free to post additions/disagreements/flames to the list.

This is one that has been used since the beginning of time. A prophecy was made that someone who looks and acts like the main character will be the savior of the world or some other such. It's an overused plot device, and not even the best because it completely tips your hand at the beginning and lets everyone know your ending before it even begins.

6) "Luke, I am your father."

With all of the heroes being connected in the familial way to the evil villains, one wonders that there are still families that don't, at least, have one black sheep of the evil overlord type.

Add more later.

Girlbrainiac

7) The Instant Swordsmanship

"Here, farm boy, pick up this sword and let me give you a quick lesson! Whoa! You have incredible aptitude! If we practice once a day for the next week or two during our journey, you'll practically be a Master Swordsman before you know it!"

Not likely. In medieval times, the sons of the nobility trained for years as squires before finally becoming knights themselves. It takes practice! To put it another way, in more modern terms: If someone took an hour a day, every day for a couple of weeks, to teach you the basics of marksmanship and scuba diving, would you now feel you were qualified to make your living as a member of the U.S. Navy SEALs? Or would you want a lot MORE training and practice before you actually went out hunting for trained terrorists to fight on their home turfs?

Dave Duncan found a very clever way to get around this problem in the world of his "King's Blades" novels. Ironhall is a sort of orphanage/reform school/military academy (more or less) that takes in unwanted juvenile boys who have nowhere else to turn -- orphans, runaways, criminals, etc. -- and keeps them safely segregated from the outside world while the faculty trains them long and hard, every day for five years, to a) make them master swordsmen and b) teach them some basic manners, etc., so they can pass for "gentlemen" in high society.

This gives Duncan the chance to show various characters from different backgrounds (poor peasant families, fishing villages, illegitimate children of rich and powerful men, or whatever) starting out their adventures after five years of grueling training, which neatly explains why a lad from such humble roots knows how to turn the typical opponent into mincemeat in the blink of an eye. Even the weakest of the Blades was still way up near the high end of the bell curve by the standards of swordsmen in general, but we knew he had to work for years to get there! None of this nonsense about, "Give me a week or two to train you, and you'll be a natural, kid!"

8) The Lack of Language Barriers

"It's incredible! I have traveled far and wide since I left Hicksville, the most remote farming village in the back of beyond. I have been in a dozen cities in eight different realms, I have crossed the Summer Sea from Continent A to Continent B, I've found myself thousands of miles from home as I explored areas that nobody from my native neck of the woods had ever seen before in recorded history . . . and everywhere I go, everybody and his brother speaks The Common Language! How convenient!"

In a "medieval" world without massive telecommunications and printing presses and stuff to keep everybody using the same language, what are the chances that one language is still spoken by everyone? About zero. But of course, this way the naive young hero doesn't have to sit down and take language lessons for weeks at a time whenever he crosses a national boundary; nor does he have to put his faith in the honesty and accuracy of hired interpreters everytime he wants to interview a foreigner about Matters of Great Import.

The main character just happens to be the only one around at the birth of a dragon, phoenix, or other such powerful creature. He will then proceed to successfully raise an extremely dangerous wild (and magical) animal on his own and succeed, without even getting so much as a fingertip bitten off in the process. And of course, that animal will be the hero's best friend for life and eat people at his command.

EDIT: Wow. After writing this I realized just how many of the horribly overused clichés Eragon falls into. Why does anyone like that series?

Let’s see... #1, #2, #3, #5, #7, #8, and #9 are all in Eragon. I've got the funny feeling #6 might be in there too, but then again I got annoyed with the book way too early to know for sure.

B) Waking up to start the story. Sure, we've all done this one from time to time.

C) Having the character look in the mirror to get his or her descriptor. *I used this one a lot untill someone pointed it out. Now I can't stop seeing it.*

D) It's the ubermost! Every event is the most *fill in the blank here* throughout the entire story. Everything is emotionally intense! Why can't joan just get a cup of coffee and not have an orgasmic experience over the little flakes of vinilla and coccoa in the drink?

*** Edit ***

Sorry this was for plot device clique's...

10) The Gandalf Character

- Dude, he is everwhere and he is everything. Can a story just not have the Kookie old man/mentor for once? Why does there have to be a know it all pointing the kids intot he right direction?

Some story will have a princess of some sort in them. Either the main character, the main character’s lover, or the main character’s parents.

12) Poof, I’m great!

If a hero is lacking in strength, magic, or both, somewhere in the story, they will get stronger in the matter of a week, due to some magic ritual, divine intervention, power transfer or something of the likes.

13) Look, more twins!

Several families have twins. No triplets, no conjoint twins, just plain twins. And usually they are either best friends, or one is evil and one is good.

14) Another girl/boy from earth?

In the story, someone from our world magically gets transferred to their fantasy world, and hold some importance to the plot. Seeing as how many there are that have this happen, I’m surprised that none of the villagers sigh and say, “Oh great, not another one.”

15) Poor little half-breed…

Whenever there is a multi-raced or multi-cultured character, they will be discriminated. Don't mind that they can melt your face off, or can breathe fire, or have abilities most people just don't have, everyone still has to make fun of them. Maybe, they’re so bad **, that most characters can’t comprehend their true awesomeness, and therefore push them away.

16) Girl power!

Most main female characters are usually just as strong as men, smarter than men, braver than men, and all around better than men. Xena’s probably quite proud of these warrior princesses.

Ant I doubt many people on fiction press like that series, but there’s a bit of an Eragon cult in my high school. It somehow even beat the Hobbit in my Great Books class. And that makes 12 on the cliché list…

"Five friends find out that they have elemental powers and have to save the world. Will they use them for good or evil?" Cliche. Come up with a twist or SOMETHING!

18) The "God of Life/Destruction"

"A young boy has great powers that can be used either to destroy the world or save it. What will he do?" Again, unless you can come up with something entirely different with this overused plot, why the heck should we care? It'll just end up like all the other stories.

19) Describing your character's black hair as "long, raven tresses/locks".

Enough said. x_x

If in a large party, the main character will chose one person of the opposite gender to dislike for no apparent reason. This is so that the reader knows they will be an item by the end of the book, and married by the end of book 3. It is especially true when the hated person is a prince or princess, even more so if the main character doesn't know this.

If a group of warriors are travelling together, each member of the group will probably fall under one of these cliches:

A) The Leader: The leader is well, the leader of the group. He's probably super-honest, loyal, responsible, has no sense of humor whatsoever, etc., and everybody likes him and looks up to him and follows his every command. Without him, the group falls apart. He's a mentor, an exceptional swordsman/bow and arrow-ist...he's Everything!

B) The Damsel in Distress/Pretty Girl: She's probably the only girl in the group. She's young, fragile, doesn't like trouble, but is always getting herself into it. Can't fight with a sword for beans, but can cook really well! Always cries, and is probably the Leader's very special treasure. All the other group members try and hit on her. Bonus if the Damsel has some kind of magical, one-hit K.O. super-power that she doesn't know about, and it comes out randomly during the climax of a battle, etc., defeating all enemies.

C) The Joker: The joker never takes anything or anyone seriously. He likes to play pranks on his friends, and is usually sniffing around, getting into mischief (and therefore, the whole group into trouble). He is usually a mediocre fighter, and very clumsy. This guy's basically here for just comic relief.

D) The "Dark Warrior": This is the guy who never talks/smiles/expresses amusement, etc. He probably dresses in dark colors and has joined the group for "reasons unknown/confidential/are none of your business", etc. He and the Leader are always butting heads (the Warrior wants to usurp the Leader's leaderly position); he expresses great dislike for the Joker; and he's always taunting the Damsel. He's most likely the strongest (or second strongest) in the group, having dark powers like summoning hell demons or something lame like that. Bonus if he later tricks the group by setting them up and putting them into a fatal situation, and then comes back because he's feeling "guilty".

Come on. Are you telling me that on top of our young hero's super awesome, sudden abilities he can see into the future, or know what's happening millions of miles away? Eragon also falls into this trap, as does Star Wars. I love you guys, but please, enough with the presient dreams.

24) He's really the nobleman's bastard son/son hidden/stolen away when he was a baby.

Another one that Eragon falls into, as well as the Belgariad and too many other series to count.

Girlbrainiac

Girlbrainiac's comments about the young hero as the long-lost rightful heir reminded me of this, so I decided to share it with you. This was Lord Raglan's summary of his own analysis; I'm not trying to take credit for it.

25)THE HEROIC PATTERN

01. The hero's mother is a royal virgin.

02. His father is a king, and

03. Often a near relative of his mother, but

04. The circumstances of his conception are unusual, and

05. He is also reputed to be the son of a god.

06. At birth an attempt is made, usually by his father or his maternal grandfather, to kill him, but

07. He is spirited away, and

08. Reared by foster-parents in a far country.

09. We are told nothing of his childhood, but

10. On reaching manhood he returns or goes to his future kingdom.

11. After a victory over the king and/or a giant, dragon, or wild beast,

12. He marries the princess, often the daughter of his predecessor, and

13. Becomes king.

14. For a time he reigns uneventfully, and

15. Prescribes laws, but

16. Later he loses favour with the gods and/or his subjects, and

17. Is driven from his throne and city, after which

18. He meets with a mysterious death,

19. Often at the top of a hill.

20. His children, if any, do not succeed him.

21. His body is not buried, but nevertheless

22. He has one or more holy sepulchres.

Making some allowances for different cultures, theologies, etc., various legendary figures get high scores out of a possible maximum of 22 points if you treat this as a checklist and give each candidate one point for each item that fits. (Moses, King Arthur, Oedipus, etc.) Also various heroes of modern literature have followed this same pattern to some degree -- Tarzan, Superman, Paul Muad'dib of Dune, Rand al'Thor of the Wheel of Time, etc.

[Edited to make this #25 on the list]

27) The group of characters confront every problem and ill fate possible on the planet during their journey. (oh dear! We have run out of supplies! A huge blizzard is coming! We have all been poisoned! I have been bestowed with a really terrible curse! We're all really tired! There's no water! The horses have died! An army of massive lizard things is chasing us! What do we DO?!?)

28) The continuous belief that 'half-elves' (or dark-elves as some people call them) are evil barbarians which have a grudge against humans, but then the main character either befriends one or he discovers that one of the characters is a half-elf and has been hiding it, and then realises that they aren't so bad after all. This cliche is a subliminal message to young children about how racism is wrong.

29) Trilogies or Chronicles of books. It was sometime after the Narnia movie and when the Spiderwick Chronicles become popular for some reason that there was an explosion of three part series and 'Chronicles of Something' fantasy books. I'm sick and tired of them actually, so I'm going against convention and making my saga a quadrilogy, just to annoy people who read endless trilogies of stuff.

30) The food is seemingly delightfully tasty and the water is always clean and healthy to drink no matter where the characters get it from. I mean, never mind that there's a wide assortment of bacteria that can kill you in a river in the middle of nowhere. Take the Redwall books for example; Jacques goes to great length to describe the many joyous and scrumptious feasts that those weird animals hold, but have the Health Inspectors been there? Probably not. I think it should get a D, Redwall would have to be pulled down and decontaminated and nobody would ever have to worry about vermin knocking on their doors again, on the simple grounds that the doors aren't there anymore.

31) If there is an Empire in the kingdom where the story is set, it is always evil. ALWAYS. And usually the realm begins with the letter A (Alagaesia, for example)

Oh yes, and a little note; I think we have been a little too ** poor Eragon. OK, it does have its faults, but so does every book. And Paolini has given it an interesting storyline to follow. Remember that the background behind the whole Dragon Rider thing is alot deeper and sinister than it seems. It is hard to completely avoid all cliches, because some of them are based on instinctive human reaction to things. Like the Damsel in Distress - If you were being trapped by evil beings, and had no method or training in fighting back, your only immediate option is to run like mad or scream. It is not as if you can say, 'Hey, hold on a minute, I need to think about this.', and then Time slows down for the character to come to a conclusion, not only is it in unrealistic in the sense that the character is being made out as uber intelligent, but it wrecks the whole tempo of the story. Sorry for rambling.

32) Almost every race will fall under these cliches:

Humans: Humans are always the bloodthirsty, fighting barbarians of the group. They are always being described as selfish, greedy, and prideful by other races, and will always be the only races building an evil empire or whatever. There are even cliches within cliches, all dealing with various regions from whence the humans came. Tribesmen will always be wearing deerskins and dark-skinned. Palace princesses will always be beautiful with long, dark, flowing silky hair. Magicians/wizards will always be feared because they use magic; etc.

Elves: Elves always live in deep in the forest, wary of humans. They hate them with a passion and blame them for every known problem of the world. They are always thin (no fat elves!), described as "lithe", and have almond eyes and blond hair. They usually always use a bow and arrow, and dress in earthly clothing. They wear no armour; are quick and sure-footed; and have amazing acrobatic skills. They are in tune with nature; the world's biggest treehuggers; and usually (grudgingly) come to terms with the humans later. They usually always hate every other race but their own, and live very long lives. Bonus if your elf is like, 500+, since that seems to be the magic number.

Dwarves: Dwarves are always fat, short, and bad-tempered. They use hammers, mallets, and forge crap in their furnaces. They usually live in mountains, or caverns, or somewhere underground where it's always rocky. Bonus if your dwarf has red hair.

A note on the note: Are you kidding me? "Eragon" got ripped a new butthole because it was TOO cliche! It has been accused of copying "Star Wars" right down to the marrow (just to list a few: the whole "my dad is an evil emporer" thing; dragon riders being wiped out vs. the Jedi; the Varden vs. the Rebellion; the Inheritance trilogy vs. the Star Wars trilogy; and then the "our mom escaped and we were separated by birth but hey brother, we're siblings!" bit, too)! Paolini has also been accused of copying "Lord of the Rings", too. (Arya vs. Arwen; Eragon and Aragorn; and even the names of the cities!) Just try looking up Eragon criticisms on Google. Interesting stuff! But sadly enough, I have to say that I enjoyed reading C.P.'s books. ;_;

And GASP! How dare you say that about Redwall?! Those were the best books! I would always get so hungry reading those food scenes. xD And, hey! The animals are like humans. They can cook and crap. Haven't you read the parts where they wash the fish, cut it, and roast it and whatever? Ground up the wheat and make flower? Collect the vegetables from the gardens and fruit from the trees? It's what WE (humans) do in real life! They're freaking animals smart! They don't get contaminated! They live in a deep forest, next to a sparkling stream uncontaminated by humans... Er. Yeah. o_o

33) ...Who am I?

The main character has amnesia. This usually occurs at the very start of the book, and the character must uncover why he/she has woken in amongst a pile of bodies, or wherever. Along the journey, he/she will recover many familiar things and uncover hidden powers or skills. It's very ho-hum, especially if the author fails to pull it off.

I recently read a book, (also a trilogy I believe,) called 'Shadows of Myth.' I found it tiresome because the author kept reminding the reader of this memory loss every two seconds. It was such a boring structure, without a suitable climax.

I also thought Eragon relied WAY to heavily on cliches. But my biggest problem was the wooden characters. Eragon, himself is devoid of a personality. The villains seem completely one-sided and Brom is just your typical authority figure who's *SPOILER* death seemed completely manipulative on Palini's part to get a sad reaction from us. (He failed.) The only characters, that brought a smile to my face, were Saphira and the old woman, who helps in the fight in the end. (I forgot her name, sorry)

Ya, I agree about Eragon...Y'know, even after reading an entire 500 pages of the first book, I can't find any trace of a personality at all. Perhaps we should all scan the book and pick out the (few) moments when Eragon reveals anything characteristic of himself. That would be fun. My favourite character was actually Angela, she's so different from the rest of them. And aye, Brom's death was a bit, er, predictable and trying-to-be-sympathtic-but-fails. Especially the bit on Brom's gravestone, where it says, 'Who was a Dragon Rider, and like a Father to me.' Groan. And indeed, the food in Redwall was undeniably yum sounding (I'd love to try October Ale), but even so, you've got no idea where those paws have been. I believe someone mentioned about how Paolini could encorporate the Death Star, and I have a way...Has anyone here played the game Baten Kaitos before? Well maybe the Death Star could be a bit like Malpercio's Palace, only accesible through another dimension, but in Eragon's world, yep, only accesible by dragon. Who knows, it could be what Uru'baen is like! Oh yeah, I have some reflection on the nature of clichedom(if that word exists)....It's most ironic that when things get declared cliches, people will avoid them. Then, the methods of avoiding the cliche get used so often that they end up being cliche thamselves, and what was originally the cliche is probably no longer cliche.

And a note to everyone here, please don't spoil Eldest for me! Even if it is probably rife with predictable plots, but even so...

35) Everything important that happened in the world where the story was set was always at least a thousand years ago.

I actually used that cliche to create a little proverb: "One day today will be a thousand years ago." What it means is that no matter how unimaginable it seems, now will be a very long time ago in about twenty years, everything will be over and done with; remember that it won't be the twenty-first century forever! There IS such thing as 2100, believe or not. I have no idea what relevence this has to the cliche list, but whatever.

36) Women warriors will always be portrayed as sultry and alluring, wearing tight, revealing clothing, preferably leather and furs. On the book covers/in movies, they will always be shown as sexy, thin, and busty, with long hair; during fight scenes, they will always run out in to battles half-naked, with legs, thighs, arms, midriff, and cleavage totally revealed. They never get cold despite their (lack of) clothes. They never get hurt (or as hurt) as the men, despite them wearing little to no armor whatsoever. You will never see them horribly muddied, bloodied, disfigured, etc., or even killed. They will oftentimes be seductresses, wiling men for their own personal gain. Woo-hoo. Attract those male readers. ._.;;

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I'm blind/deaf/crippled/dumb/Albino, but hey! I get these cool powers to make up for it, so it's like it doesn't even matter and this disability doesn't hinder me at all, and it's really just an attempt on the author's part to seem like less of a hack!

Not only is the vampire sexy, he has a big heart and is misunderstood by society! 'It's okay to kill people and drink their blood, poor thing. We understand.' Enough with Vampire mania, people! If there is no reason whatsoever for your character to be a vampire, don't do it. I blame Anne Rice for starting this one.

In a greater majority of stories I've read, the villian always has the greater technological advantage, and uses it to do evil things with. And they heroes are always hippies with some connection to nature. I blame Lord of the Rings for this one, even though it was a show of the author's ideals in that context, and has just turned into a fad now.

40) The laws of meeting new people and things.

If it's ugly, it must be bad so kill it. If it's pretty and/or cool, it's good, and you must ally yourself with it.

Lets hope none of these have been mentioned yet... I'm too lazy to double check.

41. EVERY character and his cousin-twice-removed has to be a half-elf/dragon/mage/OTHER...There's never any 'This guy is a WHOLE human and that's not gonna change.'

42. We all have to have that 'Magical staff/bow/sword' on hand, don't we? Whatever happened to 'getting though by the skin of our teeth'? Not everyone has a magical talisman or charm to rely on.

These annoy me...

5) Prophecies. I don't know if this has been mentioned before, but if not, then it is now. If there's a prophecy, the main character is always the main focus of it... so it is the point of the story, but still. I really like the book Beyond the Dragon Portal because it breaks away from a lot of cliches. The main character's sister is the Chosen One or whatever, the dragons are totally different than the classic type, there's no good and evil (and the author does an amazing job... um, getting me to almost spoil the book *grins*), etc. That book is amazing.

43) Amazingness. The author usually ends up creating standard main characters and totally awesome and cool secondary characters. Why can't the main character be that cool? I don't know how intentional or whatever this is, but it is a pattern. I suppose it does make the story more interesting, though, and it is hard to avoid. It isn't a bad cliche, either.

44) Is good and evil on here? It should be, and if it isn't, then her it is. Though it's a cliche as well, it makes for a good foundation for your story while still leaving lots of room for originality. Though I personally try and avoid it, and try for simply opposing sides, even nature--mega-tsunami, hurricane, etc. have been climax points and the antagonists in several of my story ideas.

45) Human main characters! Fantasy books seem to hardly ever have animals or elves or whatever as main characters. What's so special about humans?

I would also like to call things like the Sight and titles like The Power of Three cliche, but I don't know if they need their own places on the list... if they should, someone or I can put them on. I feel bad, though... because the third Warriors series is called The Power of Three, and the first book The SIght. Or vise-versa. I just dissed my favorite books, but oh well..

[Edited to change the numbers. Prophecies fit under #5.]

Then again Harry Potter seems to be quite popular but he can use magic and speak to snakes???

I'm not a great fan of HP it uses to many cliches and steals alot from other books like LOTR.

Well back to the list.

46) The sexy scar. A main character, often the antihero, will have a scar of some sort or another mark that points to a tragic past. These scars never happened in some anti-climactic accident. For example why can't a character fall and cut themselves or something.

Examples: Harry Potter, Shogo Kawada.

47) Superman syndrome. Why can't a cgaracter be real good with a sword and leave it at that? Why do they all need magic abilities, time travel abilities and super-sexiness to boot?

Examples: Harry Potter (Parseltongue, magic etc.)

48) Cliched traits. The princess is always dazzlingly sexy and the swordsman must be stupid. Just cos a character can use a sword doen't mean their an idiot. They will most likely use tactics which require quite alot of knowledge. Plus princesses can be ugly as sin, might explain why they get locked in the tower.

Example: Most fairly tales.

50) Here are some guidlines as to how to spot a Mary-Sue:

-The status of her hair will remain the same throughout the entire series, curlers or no curlers.

-She is perfect and wise in every way. She's always the first to remember that most important long lost piece of the prophecy.

-She will always fall in love, with a Gary Stu. Why not make two flawless people pair up? They're PERFECT for each other!

-Why the heck would she need armour? Or weapons that have sharp edges, most of the time? She may be the all sensitive, just, honourable person, but she will manage to kill everything in her way, don't worry.

-Mary-Sue has the most desirable personality EVER.

-Waist, size 0. Hair length: VERY LONG. Contains a very nifty tint, even though nobody has invented hair dye yet.

-Her tragic past will reveal a dent in her personal defences (shock horror) but she will overcome that, don't you worry...

-...Not without the help of the dashing young warrior she falls for. Eventually.

-Mary-Sue is too cool to get embarrassed or miss a flaw in her fighting/diplomacy techniques.

I hope this helps on how to spot Mary-Sues within your own characters. I did, when I discovered my character Songja was going to turn into a bimbo if I didn't sort out things fast.

[edited to make this #50. Girlbrainiac]

Oh, and let's not forget how he becomes a master swordsman in about three paragraphs.

Girlbrainiac

Oh, I might as well:

-Gary-Stu has such a wonderful hairstyle, and even if he hasn't shaved in a long, long, time, he'll always look dashing anyway.

-Gary-Stu always knows what to do. He'll fight first and ask questions later, but he's no hothead.

-His voice is so deep and romantic that saying, 'Hello.' is pretty much like an invitation to bed.

-His muscles and height are just profoundly right (hey, this is turning into a poem, sort of ;D), and I mean the PERFECT proportions and body structure of a born natural warrior.

-Oh, his eyes, so bewitchingly....HANDSOME!!! *swoons* Yeah right.

-Once Gary-Stu picks up the sword, everything will be all right. Oh, and he can use the battle-axe, the spear, the polearm, the mace, the morning star, the gladius, the javelin, the bow, the cutlass, the katana, the stave, the massive-double-handed-diabolical-weapon-of-doom and the arcane arts of magic as well.

-Gary-Stu will always come to Mary-Sue's rescue, that is if Mary-Sue hasn't gotten herself out of trouble already because she's so amazing too.

-He can wear anything, heck, blood-stained chain-mail, cotton shirt, silk robe, penguin tuxedo, shining armour, NOTHING, and will still look heroic and as if on the alert for damsels in distress, and no matter how many wounds he gets when out of battle gear, he'll live, don't worry.

-He always falls in love with Mary-Sue.

-If he dies (like, when the heck will that happen? -. -), then his death will be very memorable, soppy, he will say some famous last words after recieving a mortal wound (SHOCK! HORROR!) and then conviently kick the bucket in Mary-Sue's perfect, snow white and dainty arms. But remember, he can only die AFTER the massive war-to-end-all-wars has ended, because Gary-Stu never leaves the job undone, even if he's dead.

-Gary-Stu's hair may only be coal-black or shining blond.

52) If the character has wings:

-He has a super magical parent

-If he doesn't know how to use them he'll probably learn how at the last possible moment, i.e. jumping off the cliff to save the heroine. Heroically. With cool music.

-He might think they're hideous/ a mark of shame/ whatever even though they're beautiful white angel wings.

-He can hide them under convienent baggy shirts even though when the shirt is off they have a sixteen feet wingspans.

53) If there's a demon lord/king of hell/prince of hell character, he will always be extremely young, super sexy, a horny bastard, and "bad **" (but the author's attempts to make him "bad **" will always fail miserably). Bonus if he smokes, wears leather, or has long hair.

54) This said demon lord/king of hell/prince of hell character will usually always be homosexual (or, at least bi-). If this occurs, then he will also somehow end up in the presence of an emo, wimpy, angsty anime boy, in which he will take the greatest pleasure in having hawt buttsecks with him over and over again.

55) If this said demon lord/king of hell/prince of hell is NOT in a slash story, then he will most likely fall in love with some ditzy angel of heaven, despite the fact that the demon will always be pickin' on her or something. No one knows why this occurs. I guess it's because he's just SO DARN SEXY that the angel can't resist him, even though he treats her like crap? Sometimes, though, in a varied strain of stories, the demon and angel are actually in a true romantic relationship, and respect one another. But it doesn't matter. Because it's a demon and angel love, everyone will be out to get them: the two will be shunned from heaven and hell, God and/or Satan will be really mad at them, everyone will hate them but nothing will ever split the bond between them, etc., etc.

56) Any major biblical or some such character (the Archangel Michael/Grimm Reaper/Satan, etc.--or even minor angels or demons!) will always be portrayed as some Hot Topic junkie wearing a bunch of black, chains, spiked bracelets, having dyed hair, etc.

57) Most female angels will have blond hair and blue eyes, long legs, and will look young; most of them are also really innocent and naïve in nature to the point of being just plain retarded.

Girlbrainiac

60.)Ugly to Godly

Basicly the main character was ugly then one day they met someone who give them a hair cut, magic and/or ect. and poof they are drop dead beautiful.

If anyone has read Twilight by Stephnie Meyer please tell me what click it falls under maybe it's cause i don't want to, it's such a good book!

42) The Magical Talisman (aka Deus Ex Machina): Usually passed to the character by an old relative/mentor that holds Supa Mageekal Powas!

62) That Little Halo of Innocence Should Be Snapped in Half!: Just because the protagonist is an orphan/ was called a name or is just having a bad day, it doesn't really seem to matter how badly they beat the person pestering them into a bloddy pulp. And why does the bully ALWAYS have to waste their time with /only/ the protagonist? Ugh. Stupid authorial intervention.....

Again, any of these cliches are only cliches if you write them that way.

[edited because magical talismans belong under #42]

64) Unnaturally colored eyes, like purple, which exist because of some magical ability or mysterious ancestry but are really just there so the character can have purple eyes and look cool.

65) The super-tough female who is known for being very capable and self-reliant, yet every single male character feels the need to protect her.

66)I'm the main character, so I'm the hero, and must save the world/kingdom/nation/ect.

In every story (or almost every, I have yet to read the one that doesn't have this) the main character is the hero is the one destined to save where the story takes place. I am partially guilty of it, but my character isn't going to be the MAIN factor they win, couldn't the story be told from the main character's traveling partner's point of view?

67) The old man pointing the young hero in the right direction?

Why can't it just be the character finding their way on their own by experience? Or why not travel with some one younger than themselves (like my story, her traveling partner is five years younger than her)

And about Eragon, I agree, it was very cliched, but sometimes cliches are fun (I actually didn't mind the book) Just like those cliched romances(the majority of) girls would take out their wallets to buy one of those, even though they have books about the very same thing except with different characters. (I wouldn't buy it, since it's emberrasing for me, but I do like reading them because of the way my dad raised me, and no I'm not gay, I'm a girl actually.)

70) Elves don't have to be Tolkien rip-offs. They can have other characteristics, yes includes negative ones, and don't have to perfectly pristine all the time. When you're slogging through the Swamp of Grime you're bound to get a little dirt under your nails.

71) Why are all orcs/goblins/giants/trolls evil? Not all humans are good so why does a troll have to bludgeon anyone who comes his way.

72) A kind of continuation of 71 is why is there only ever black and white and no grey? The hero has a pure heart and always uses a napkin and the King starves his subjects and plays football with their heads. Why is there rarly a middle ground. I know there are anti-heroes but why can't the King be a devoted father or a good friend when he's not slaughtering his enemies.

~Marie Silver~

(who's loving this list)

74) Generic occupations: blacksmiths, knight, paladin, theif, assasin, prince[ss], wandering monk/bard, wizard/alchemist.... what about the other jobs, like accountants, doo-to-door salesmen, zoologists or meteorologist? Ever heard of a story told from a florist's POV?

75) The comic relief: [from amethyst-angel.com/cliche.html]

--A cowardly yet amiable thief/pickpocket.

--A cute (sometimes wise-cracking) animal who seems pretty annoying and useless except during those rare times when a situation calls for filching dungeon keys or for heroically sacrificing oneself in an attempt to distract the villain.

--A tone-deaf bard. (see aforementioned comments concerning bards above).

--A pair of lovable droids with clashing, Odd Couple-esque personalities.

--Any animated character whose VA is Robin Williams, Dom DeLuise or Gilbert Gottfried.

--An inept, out-of-shape, out-of-his-league, self-declared "hero" who tags along with the real heroes in the hopes of experiencing a grand adventure, (and who usually winds up instead being a pain in the **, being eventually compromised by the villain, or just plain mucking up everyone's plans.) In rare cases, his/her ineptitude will result in his/her performing an action which, through sheer luck, will result in causing a setback for the villain (oftentimes by causing his accidental destruction).

--Usually completely unnecessary.

76) established church = bad, wandering monk = okay (or sometimes vice versa)

77) Why is that nobody has seemed to invent gunpowder yet? And what happened to trebuchets? Where'd they go, if we're so adamant about remaining in a 13th century-esque setting?

77) Using said unconsciousness to further a romantic relationship by making main male character feel sorry for main female and/or have to rescue her.

78) Wings, pointed ears, strange tattoos, or other rather attractive 'deformities' which make the main character an outcast.

79) An area where absolutely everyone has the same beliefs about a particular thing, except of course for the main character, even though he has been raised exactly the same as everyone else.

81) On the hero's journey, the hero will most likely cross through these settings:

-- A seemingly endless, vast plain with absolutely no one or -thing living in it (a steppe, maybe?).

-- A forest (where they will most likely meet the elves).

-- Some random little town in the boondocks where the hero will try to get the townspeople to help him in some way or form, but then get chased out by the guards/a mob/get caught by the enemy, etc.

-- The mountains (bonus if there's a blizzard)(bonus again if they meet dwarves there and stay in their underground tunnels).

-- The sea (he'll convince the captain to let them stay on their boat so they can get to Wherever)(bonus if later, the captain and his crew deceive him for the king's gold).

-- A "capital city", if you may call it: a really big, modern city with merchants, lords, tons of shops, etc. The king's spies and guards will probably be lurking around here.

-- An inn (we all love inns).

-- A tavern (gotta relieve his stress somehow; that HOW is binge-drinking).

-- A tower (bonus if it's a "dark" tower where a mage is conjuring evil magics or something).

-- A castle. This castle is huge. It takes the characters several chapters to get to the top (starting from the basement dungeon) to beat the evil Whatever at the top (always in a tower).

Yeah, yeah, you gotta put your characters somewhere. But why not at least put them in some different situations while they're there? Or, try new landscapes all together! The canyons; a swamp or bog; a desert; a meadow (wet or dry!); a cataract; lush jungle; etc.

82) The battlefield will always be located at a long, desolate "plain" with absolutely no grass, is all dirty and rocky; maybe bordered by mountains in the far, far distance, etc.

Alright, alright, I know this is a fantasy thing and guns aren't invented... la la la... but think cyberpunk and steampunk and sci-fi fantasy. Even I'm guilty of this, but whatever XP. Let me just explain....

Guns shoot bullets. Bullets go very fast. You don't need to be far from someone to shoot them.

Swords are swung. Swords are slow. You need to be close to people to use a sword to them.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

84) All roles have predetermined weaponry assigned to them (i.e. heroes with swords).

I can understand the functionality of a sword. It's both defensive and offensive and it looks cool and it's sometimes magical (whoo....) but really, there are other weapons out there besides swords. Spears seem to be reserved for the underlings and maces and other blunt weapons for evil minions and axes and hammers for dwarf-y people.

85) Zombies and revenants being stupid and eating people.

I'm just going to say this once: if I come back from the dead, I'm going to be eating pizza and sushi, not an arm, not a leg, and a brain.

I actually have to disagree with you there. Yes, if one person is pointing a loaded gun at someone and the other has a sword, the gun is generally going to win. However, it also depends on the level of firearms technology. If you're at the level where they're still using muzzle-loaders, which weren't all that accurate, it would be very easy for the gunman to miss and the swordsman to take him out before he had a chance to reload.

Automatic or semi-automatic weapon vs. sword? Very different story.

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