What would you do if you read a truly horrific manuscript and were reading it right next to an infinite armoury of weapons with the author standing next to you? Would you scream at them? Maim them? Kill them? I think I would enslave them and give them a boot to the head. Whenever the author makes a mistake in spelling or the story leaves you hanging, give them a boot to the head!

Anyway, enough of me. Vent your hatred and Sacrifice the Author!

*cough cough* Take into mind that everyone starts out as a bad writer. Killing them before they have a chance to improve is.... *ahem* not a good thing.

What about killing the writers that have lots of experience and screw up good stories?

Ok, that I can understand. OFF WITH THEIR HEEEEAAAAADS!!!!

Not to mention, you don't have to kill them. Give them a boot to the head!

Now, for the suggestions on how to brutally maim the author to make them write well!

Go all Khmer Rouge on them and make them work in the fields as peasants!

There are also a lot of very interesting medieval torture devices...

Heh, what was the cage with spikes inside it called? I bet that could make an author spew some J.R.R. Tolkien equivalents...

I personally like the rack . . .

My favorite is the Box.

I'd flame the writer... literally. Matches, blowtorch, cigarette tips, lighters, campfire, oven fire, forest fire, and... yellow.

NOT YELLOW!!! *scream!* That's too much, Dicey!

Some writers simply deserve the yellow. Its sad, but true. How'd you respond so fast, anyway?

Magic.

Use that magic on the authors!

Paper. If the bad manuscript is paper, use every single page and give them papercuts XD! Because nobody likes papercuts...

I'd kick them in the face.

Yellow . . . X_X

Hmm, if I could do anything . . .

*Thinks*

Oh, who could deside? I might choke them with the pen that they used to creat the foul stuff.

Or give them ink marks on their hand!!!! And draw someone pooping on their palm! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!!! *flame spurts from ground*

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I had to go before, but yuki-chan had to go to some party...

Then I couldn't use the comp because she locked MY LOGIN... I don't know how, but she manged to do it.

Plus while I was at school, I thought of a way to humiliate an author.

Rip pages off of the manuscript, then crumple the pages and shove it in their mouth!

Make them chew and keep it in their mouth as long as it can stay in there before disentegrating.

This method of torture is sick. Instead of having the author write for you...

Do a Maya sacrificial ceremony!

Pin them to a big stone slab atop a temple in Coba etc., then take a sharp piece of obsidian and jab it into their chest! Drag the heavy piece of obsidian throughout their chest and take out their still-beating heart!

Then put the organs in a stone bowl of the ritual attendant, Chacmool, and roll them down the endless steps!

Then drink the blood of the sacrificed author and you'll definitely have the power to write JUST the way they did!

Truly sick.

That's kind of messed up. Or an even worse way (if they were male) just chop off their schlong and let them bleed to death O.O totally not worth it though.

Heh, or if they were really dignified, make them sing "I'm too sexy for my shirt" 178 times and THEN chop of the wingdangdoodle.

Personally, I think the paper one is the worst. Or maybe just burn all of their writing then hobble 'em when they don't rewrite it to your satisfaction, like in Misery.

Ha! Make two authors battle with each other using medieval weapons and nets like the two gladiators or murmillo beating each other up. Then let some starved lions at them when the winner is proclaimed.

Yeah. Or tell them knock-knock jokes.... for eternity. *laughs evilly complete with flashlight*

Now for some brutal torture!

Flail them with a rat tail.

"Move, slave!!"

"Hey, shove it!"

"Would you like to rephrase that?"

*brandishing whip"

Make them listen to their own story while hanging upsidedown in the receiving end of chinese water tourture.

And possibly make them watch those incredibly boring movies we occasionally have to watch in social studies!