So the question is: How do I manage to create a reasonable variation of Osaka-ben...only in English?

I've pretty much Googled and Wikied the subject and have had no luck so far. So, I'm going to turn to my literary peers for aid. If any of you have any advice on how to help with this problem, I'd love to here it.

Here are a few examples of what I've done with Nami's voice so far:

Example #1:

The older woman adjusted her position near the unmarred end of the car, offered both Kanna and Kitada a slanted grin and then gave Arisu her full attention.

“Got quite a big mouth, don’t you? Well, to be blunt, I’m Ajutoki Nami,” she spoke out in a strong Osakan accent. “Third Administrative Assistant of Student Admission for OrCHARD. And you’re?”

Anger subsiding somewhat, Arisu could feel a devilish smirk touch her lips.

“Not your student or responsibility. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be finding some other way to get back home to Nagoya as soon as I can – ”

Ajutoki Nami cut off Arisu’s retorting answer with low words of her own; words that carried an overly strong certainty that they would be obeyed. They were words that shook Arisu to the core of very being. They were words that sent a cold shiver running up her spine.

“Oh you ain’t going anywhere but OrCHARD, first-year. Just like everybody else. That mark on your wrist ain’t really giving you any other choice in the matter. Means you’re a little too dangerous to let run loose, if you get me. Pretty much makes it final from where I stand, y’know.”

Arisu could feel her hard-headedness begin to reassert itself, but before she could ready a suitable, ear-shredding comeback to the woman’s order that she was sure would get her knocked down or slapped; Ajutoki Nami’s distinctive tone rang through the ruined car again.

“Made quite the mess, didn’t it? The Scythe, I mean,” she called out specifically to Arisu. The girl addressed swallowed what she had been about to say, eyes widening. “That’s what it’s called, what the brains at OrCHARD named them. Not that anyone’s really got an idea where they come from, though. Only thing we know is that they target anyone with our abilities…” Her ebon eyes narrowed on Arisu, making the girl feel even more uncomfortable than she already did. “…Anyone.”

Example #2:

“Got something to add, No-name-chan?” Arisu heard a markedly feminine and Osakan voice ask. The woman’s tone almost made her skin try to crawl off of her body. “You seem to like talking more than anything else, y’know. That little chat you got going on with Cowling-han about me open to the public, now?”

There was a brief sound of laughter that echoed throughout the gathering of about fifty or so which only served to irritate Arisu even more. Tightening her fists at her sides again, she just stood where she was and uttered out a half-hearted, “N-No…”

“Aw,” the tanned woman chided as she flashed a wink to Arisu’s back. “Guess that means we ain’t friends yet, huh? Thought things might’ve changed between us since that last time we spoke, y’know. Especially with you staring at me so intently. A look like that can make a body wonder, little No-name-chan. Of course, I might just be wrong. But there’s no harm in that. Been wrong before and I’m pretty sure I probably will be again somewhere down the road. Guess that just means I’ll have to schedule a private conference with you when we get back to OrCHARD. To find out what you found so interesting about me, that is. Or maybe Cowling-han wouldn’t mind telling me, hmmm?”

Example #3:

“U-uh…no…Ajutoki-s-sensei,” Adam stammered nervously, eyes still locked on Arisu’s dark and menacing expression. “I…ah, I’ve got nothing t-to say about it…about a-anything really…heh. As we Americans say, I-I…um, plead the fifth…?”

From the center of the large gathering, Ajutoki Nami folded her arms across her ample chest and gave the blond-headed boy a look full of mock pouting.

“No kidding,” she responded in a questioning tone full of faux moping that carried just a hint of surprise, motioning to one of the two men beside her to hand her a clipboard thick with a small stack of paper. “You really took me seriously, Cowling-han? Smart folks like you need to get a better sense of humor than that. All serious all the time don’t really cut it in the world anymore, y’know. Gotta be able to laugh sometimes; at yourself or others. Just the way things are now. Only people allowed to be that tight-assed are heterosexual men, Cowling-han. Remember that.” Abruptly, the tanned-skinned woman dropped the playful sound in her voice as she scanned over the clipboard. In the meantime, Adam’s face had grown a bright red at not just the comment that Ajutoki Nami had directed at him but the low rumble of laughter that was echoing through the gathering of people surrounding him; much to Arisu’s growing delight. A moment later, the wild-haired woman raised her head from the clipboard to readdress the people around her. “Alright, alright! Everyone just quiet down a bit. In truth, this ain’t really the time to be joking. We’ve got a problem. Long and short of it, the train just got attacked by a Scythe.”

Ajutoki paused momentarily to allow the students and faculty members who didn’t know about the reason they had disembarked from the halted train to murmur amongst themselves quietly, then resumed her speech with an even more serious pitch in her voice.

“Okay, okay, settle down. Now you know what’s going on. There haven’t been any casualties, but there’s plenty of scrapes, bumps and bruises to go around. More so for the civvies. The Scythe? It’s been taken care of by two of our own. It ain’t coming back any time soon. No telling if any more of them know where we are, however. That of course explains why we’re all standing here freezing our **’s off. Don’t like it? Get use to it. We’re not getting back onboard. All your stuff is gonna l stay on the train and make the trip to Kajuen City. It’ll be off-loaded there and taken to OrCHARD. That means we’re gonna be hiking back to the campus. To avoid placing the civvies in harm’s way again, y’know. If anything else, think of it as a training exercise. Besides, OrCHARD ain’t really that far away and the hike there’ll do our bodies some good after all the pampering we got on the train. So, any questions?”

Example #4:

“I have a question,” a female’s cool, measured voice rang out over the low murmurs; almost seeming to answer Arisu’s questioning thoughts.

Ajutoki Nami directed an expressionless look toward the girl who had spoken out.

“Go ahead, Kitada-han. What’s on your mind?”

Arisu’s eyes immediately widened. Finally, someone with some sense! Even if that someone was a stuck-up, know-it-all bimbo. It was about time that somebody spoke out against this insanity that Ajutoki Nami was spewing! Raising her head to Ajutoki, she followed the woman’s gaze quickly to where Kitada was standing, arms folded across her chest and a flat look evident on her slender face. Beside her, Kanna stood there rigid with her arms held tightly by her sides. Arisu couldn’t be too sure, but it appeared very much that the younger girl still was a bit shaken by her earlier encounter in the train with the Scythe. Not that she expected any less, really. Hell, she was still shaken by what she had witnessed! And she hoped very dearly that she would never see anything like that again. But deep down, she knew that it would be an empty hope.

“Considering the danger that you’re putting us in,” the oldest of the sisters began earnestly. “Especially after my and the other girl’s fight with that Scythe on the train, I don’t think it’d be too much to ask that my sister Kanna be placed on my team, Ajutoki-sensei.”

Th…That was it?! That was all the girl had to ask?! This time Arisu really did smack her herself in the head. I should’ve figured that that would be all she was worried about, she almost mumbled out, a small sliver of jealousy pushing through her heart. Man, talk about an overprotective sister complex…

“‘Your team’, huh,” she heard the Ajutoki woman respond quickly. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself, ain’t you Kitada-han? Just ‘cause you’re a Third Year don’t mean you’re gonna lead a team. You might be exceptional in almost everything you do at OrCHARD, but good grades and those nice athletic achievements of your’s ain’t gonna qualify you to lead others. All the high test scores in the world don’t mean ** out here. You need to remember that. It ain’t about rank and privilege. It’s about skill, ability and experience. And that’s just something you ain’t gonna learn in a classroom. Got it? Good. Still, all that aside, don’t think what you’re asking is too unreasonable, Kitada-han. So, consider it done. Any other questions?”

Unsurprisingly, no one else raised a hand or uttered a word. Apparently, no one was willing to voice out any concerns over the woman’s mad plan to get them to OrCHARD, especially after the rant she had just gone on in response to that Kitada girl’s question. Even Arisu herself. But then, she could hardly blame herself for backing down and acting like a little coward in face of that woman. There really was something about Ajutoki Nami that just wasn’t right to her. Something that gave Arisu a greasy, oily feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Guess that means there ain’t anymore questions, so let’s get started,” the wild-haired woman called out again, raising the clipboard up and flipping through some of the pages briskly. Her dark eyes rose from it after a moment, centering themselves squarely on Kitada. As they narrowed slightly, Ajutoki’s lips curved into a mischievous grin. “How noble. It’s nice to know that you wanna volunteer to be first Kitada-han. Quite honorable of you, actually. Though I gotta admit, after saying what I said, I’m a bit interested in testing you out. No time like now to see how good a leader you can be, right Kitada-han? So along with your sister, on your team’ll be Idaku Hotoke…and Sarah Williams.”

Example #5:

“Nervous,” he all but blurted out at the raven-haired woman, angry voice dripping with acidic sarcasm. “Afraid that I might let something…slip? I wonder just how many people on the Plenipotentiary Council know about that little incident a few years back. Do you think that GRAVEL managed to bury it in time?” Adam’s blue eyes were stone as he paused long enough with his words to let them sink in, and then continued on in a lowered tone that carried an icy, unkind edge. “Everyone else around here – Sobatori-sama, GRAVEL, you – might have short memories, but not me. I remember what you did back then, Ajutoki-sensei. And I’ll never forgive you for it.”

All at once, Ajutoki Nami’s nearly black eyes narrowed on Adam in such a way that he suddenly had a very strong urge to be elsewhere. The level of reproach on the dark-skinned woman’s face was almost overwhelming. It sent thick jolts of discomfort racing through his body. Annoying memories of that uncomfortable Assembly Room chill and four pairs of weighing eyes returned to take up residence in his already-burdened mind. For a moment, Adam thought he had pushed the tall woman in front of him too far. It seemed to be confirmed when she took three quick steps forward to come eye to eye with him.

“Ain’t never asked for your forgiveness, Cowling-han,” she addressed him coldly, dark eyes steely and unblinking. “I know I’ve done wrong in my life. But then, who hasn’t? Don’t ever remember claiming to be a goddamned saint, either! Everyone makes choices; good, bad, brave, cowardly and just about everything in-between. Made a choice that day. Simple as that. So go on, Cowling-han. Do what you think you gotta. Ain’t gonna stop you. I’ve always known about the shaky ground between us and that rather stupid habit you got of doing the ‘right thing’. So, if it’ll help to clear your own conscience about what happened back then, go on and do it. I honestly don’t even give a **. My conscience ain’t troubling me. I’ve come to terms with my demons. Have you?”

With that said Ajutoki Nami abruptly turned on a heel and began to walk back in the direction she had come in, hard-heeled boots clicking loudly against the concrete walkway and echoing through the broad, empty space. Adam’s eyes were wide with not only anger, but with regret and fear as well. How dare she bring up those memories! How dare she even try to place any kind of blame on him! Wasn’t it enough that his encounter with Arisu had dredged up emotions he had never wanted to experience again?! He hadn’t been at fault! He had done what was right! He had done the only thing he could have in that situation! He had done what anyone else would have done!

“Oh yeah,” Nami called out again, stopping after only taking five or six steps away from him. “Something to keep in that egg-head of yours, Cowling-han. Ain’t gonna repeat myself, so listen close. Real funny thing about secrets. They got the worst habit of showing up when you’d least expect them to. Especially the ones you think no one knows about. Might wanna keep that in mind, y’know. For the next time you let your mouth do the thinking before your brain does.”

Resuming her steady walk away from him, Ajutoki Nami briskly made her way back to the Zane Geldin Assembly Hall heedless of the daggers being directed at her back by a pair of frigid, cerulean eyes.

End of Examples

*Scratches head nervously* Sorry about all the examples. I'm just really serious about trying to get her voice/tone/dialect right and as close as possible to an Osaka-ben type accent. *Smiles* If no one answers this post...at least I'll know why.

*Takes a long look at all the examples and sighs*

Someone...please help...?

Thanks For Your Time,

Terryll-sensei, Twisted-sama and still2twisted!

Small exmaple here...

"Vhat is it zhat you vant?" asked the manager, before he scowled under his breath.

As for your Russian accent...that sounds more German to me for some reason. But that may be because I was reading a Mai-HiME fanfic where they gave Natsuki Kruger a heavy German accent that sounded alot like what was in your example. The only aid I think I can offer is for you to add a few Russian words into the conversation dialogue when the character speaks. It might also be dependent on just how articulate he is at speaking English. For example, I have a German character in the dreamSEED story, but instead of giving him a heavy accent I just decided on adding a few uses of German words (such as addressing his peers with 'Herr' and 'Fraulein') and then covering that by saying that his voice was being translated by my Universal Translator-type device. I mean, it's you decision really, but believe me when I say that I can understand where you're coming from. Giving characters an accent makes them seem more alive in some cases.

I went searched Google, by the way, and came up with this:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070821000031AAYez3J

I'm not sure if it'll really help or not, but I just wanted to give you as much help as I could. Well, good luck and thanks again!

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