|Angel of Ink
I just started a supernatural story a little while ago and I'd like to ask everyone's opinion, if you guys wouldn't mind.
It's about a girl who's half vampire and half Sihje (a race that is often confused with both the Fae and vampires) but raised human... and already I'm enroaching on cliche with the whole "raised human" bit, but I have reason for that. I haven't decided who's raised her yet (I started writing it one way and then changed my mind, so it's kind of on pause until I can get my friend's opinion, cause she's my beta) but whatever...
She starts to go through something sort of like her second puberty- changing from appearing human to her adult appearance. Her eyes go from pale gray to bright blue, her skin turns chalk white, and her always white-blond hair loses all color, except for the streaks she's been dying blue for years- those start growing out naturally blue. Her canines, on top and bottom, fall out and are replaced by slightly longer, sharper teeth, and although she's eighteen she has no wisdom teeth. She also starts having cravings she can't seem to satisfy, no matter what she eats, and they get much stronger when she sees one of her classmates bleeding.
Thinking she's turning into a vampire she leaves school for winter vacation and drives until she finds a small town in the middle of the woods, where she rents an apartment. She spends about a week puking up pretty much everything she eats, and at the end of the week (when she's finally able to look at herself in the mirror again) she no longer looks remotely human.
After the change, and after she's accepted into the Sihje society (which she almost wasn't because they really don't like halfbloods) she's sent after a rogue halfblood who's been killing people. She thinks he's half Sihje,but he's actually half vampire, which she learns when he attacks her and tries to drink her blood.
It's an action/adventure story, I guess, because the main character becomes a sort of mercenary for the Sihje and vampire communities, hunting down their criminals and such, keeping the humans ignorant. It's also got romance, though, in the form of the m.c. having a mad crush on her "tech support," the guy who's in charge of making all the arrangements for her so she can bring back the bad guys with as little fuss as possible.
So, what think you?9/21/2008 #1
It doesn't sound remotely cliche to me. A lot of people try to pull off half breeds (I'm using a dhampire in my own story) and aren't able to. Its pretty much in the way you write it. The way you put it sounds more natural than I've seen, a more subtle change to her true nature, rather than just someone coming out of the blue and going "oh yeah, you're not human." And your plotline sounds very nice as well.
I'll have to check out your story sometime! Hope this helped/10/15/2008 #2
Sounds fascinating to me. I like half breeds. I have a half fey/vampire story and I've never seen anybody else do it. I'll try to read your story if I find the time.12/03/2008 #3
|Angel of Ink
I actually just deleted the story from my account. I posted the first chapter, was almost done with the second one, and then I kind of went "pfft". I really hate it when I do that.
Just as someone finally read it, too! I am, however, posting another story very soon. If anyone's interested, here's a summary:
Jaime Brown is a myth-mutt. Shapeshifter, naga, dhampir, and possibly werekin to boot, Jaime is a little bit of everything. At not quite eighteen, she's also the youngest consultant on the Inter-Species Cooperation Commission's long list. Michael Rhodes is her liason, the man in charge of getting her to tell the government exactly what she knows about the "Others"- which is quite a lot.
Her life is completely ordinary until one of the Djinni-Princes leaves the Black World and starts following her around town. He claims that she's his soul, whatever that means. She doesn't stick around long enough to find out.
Mayhem ensues, including such things as vampire attacks, Jaime's mother dating a man five years older than Jaime, and Rhodes eating too much coffee cake and puking on a Prince of Hell.12/04/2008 #4
Sounds awesome, drop me a note when its posted.12/13/2008 #5
The only thing that bothers me with halfbreeds, is that there needs to be a logical explanation for it. i.e. If vampires are dead, how can they reproduce? As long as everything fits your worlds rules and logic, it should be fine.12/05/2010 #6
Simple. They can't. Most people make them because they want somebody vampire like but not a vampire.
They probably date back to The Monster Club, a 1980 anthology horror film with Vincent Price and John Carradine, based on the stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes, who made up a chart of what the children of different types of monsters (vampires, werewolves, and ghouls) would be.5/24/2012 #7
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