Examples of trouble areas:

- Characters

- Plot

- Descriptions

- Stylistic aspects

- Technical aspects

- Passive voice

and so on.

You must make it as clear as possible as to what your problem is about, otherwise you will not get any adequate help. Do also make a clear note if you simply wish for some general advice regarding a certain area.

Share away!

so... since princess is going to be coming to a close soon, i've started working on a new piece. however, i need some help on something that may seem really obvious, so don't laugh...

i need help assigning specific characteristics to a "Mary Sue." it's not that i don't know what she is - she's the perfect girl that everyone hates because of her inhuman perfection. but i need more specifics... because... i'm purposely trying to make one. :) no, i'm not crazy... and i certainly hope that i'll write it well enough that my readers won't hate me. XD

so anyway... if anyone can give me exactly what a "Mary Sue" should look like/act like and anything else you can possibly tell me about a "Mary Sue," that would be fantastic. :)

thanks in advance...!

-Lefty

If you need info, look it up on wiki... there's actually a chart which gives info as to what qualities a Mary-Sue has...

Some basics: Unusually beautiful, some unnaturally(but not necessarily dyed) technicolor shade of hair, dresses unpractically for her position, etc.

Personality: well, think back to Superman as a reference...

@Fill: You re-wrote my opener for this topic... right? That does not sound anything like me!

Back to Lefty: First to use this topic... so you popped its cherry....

My own child...

...

*weeps*

...

And I wanted to take it...

Let's see, to me a Mary Sue should have:

Eyes that change colour

On overly tragic past

She should be ' destined' or 'blessed' just to make her super special

Over the top angst/happiness/sexiness (delete as appropriate)

There are Mary sue litmus tests all over so ou can devolp your Sue to score the highest!

Good Luck!

I've seen it done before, and I've just never found it to be really funny. I guess it's because parodying a Mary Sue is making a parody of something super predictable. There aren't any surprises because everyone knows pretty much what to expect from such a character.

I have a lot of faith in your writing abilities, however, so if that is the case, drive on and don't let me stop you. It's just a word of caution that that kind of story can be tough to make surprising in any way.

I imagine she to also have strong beliefs in SOMETHING, and whatever that SOMETHING is, it is RIGHT by default (ie, not questioned (much)). Those who do question are the bad guys.

Any PARTICULAR behaviour (ie nice, charming, easy-going, easily ** off, etc etc) aren't really specified. It's the circumstances AROUND the mary-sue that makes her at such. So I cannot give characteristics on HER, just of all other things.

And yes, Onar, I stole the baby from you. What do you care, you're not even interested in giving us child support! Pft!

I do agree, they will have negative traits that are not looked down upon (much).

You two amuse me ^^;

I suppose it makes sense, though...

Fantasy writers ARE pathetic...

thanks for all your advice! i can't tell you much about my story, since i haven't exactly had much time to plan it all out, but it is definitely NOT a parody (er... at least... not in the traditional sense) on a Mary Sue. i'm writing it as a serious piece... sort of.

i think i have enough to go on for now, but if anyone wants to give me any other characteristics of a mary sue, that would be great! thanks again! :)

-Lefty

I'm thinking about asking for a little help, myself.

Most of y'all have read Lady Hel's Kiss by now, right? (I've pimped it to all hell through the review game...)

Well, I kinda have no idea what to do after chapter 5(soon to be posted)...

Anyone have any ideas?

I'm trying to decide on what to do with the five of them once they are all dead.

I really didn't want to give that much away, but I guess it was necessary...

And chapter 5? Easy: another guy dies. So, any ideas of what to do with these dead people...

Some kind of underworld seeing as it's supernatural? A journey in purgatory? I don't know if that's too clichéd

Sorry I'm not much help.

But can I just push the plan again? Trust me, an extensive plan is really good for tackling writers block and places in the story where you just don't know where the story is going...I'd suggest planning it all out roughly before starting on chapter six :D

Aka: Get on with the plot.

:P

That would be my problem... I don't really know.

I have a few ideas, but they all seem too cliche... I know I want them to meet each other, but that's all I've got so far...

There's so much I could do, but nothing seems to be good enough for what I want...

You want them all to meet. Hm. Okay.

THAT has to happen either:

A) Before the story for each of them starts (and not during, as it well...it leads to their deaths and so far they don't seem interlinked during that part)

B) After they are dead

Scenario A would be nifty. I don't have any suggestions for it, though.

Scenario B could take place in:

a) afterlife (heaven, hell, in-between)

b) reincarnation

c) ghosts/spirits

d) divine intervetion, which could be mixed with a (ie, makes deal with devil to stay alive to fulfil revenge or whatnot, and then they all come across each other on their repsective path of revenge)

Picking up any interesting thoughts from this, Onar?

Have you ever read Stuart: A life backwards?

It's a great biography told from death to birth

You could do their stories like that and show how they link (a choice they all made in the past could have affected the way they all turned out)

but how does one find satisfaction in the ending? What type of ending fits? I mean, how is closure done properly when you end at the start? That is my dilemma.

It really made me cry...I'm not saying you should copy it- it's just a nice idea like that.

Nice way of ending it ^^

But since he has so many characters it seems, it will be harder to come up with a satisfying solution that fits them all

My biggest problem was deciding on WHAT exactly to do...

The idea of going backwards never crossed my mind....

I might try it, but fitting chapter 5 in will be difficult...

But I do know how I'll fit everyone together at the end...

Let's just say I don't want to spoil the surprise.......

"The Driechtnicht are dread knights seeking to possess the Sacred Heart, a powerful stone key to protecting mankind. When its powerful guardians are killed, only six children are left with the ability to rescue the stone."

Narc's two criticisms (I hope I've understood correctly) of this were: - the centrality of a "magic object" - a group as the main character.

After reading the first chapter, Narc felt that it didn't sound like one of "those" stories so said I needed to change the summary. I'm not really sure what to do.

What I think the problem was, was that it was very formal and fact-based, and didn't really contain any emotional impact. Aka: really dry. Nothing truly exciting to lure.

I think your new summary is an improvement, though! ^^

I hate doing summaries I really do...I find it so hard to summarize a story into 255 characters.

I raise hand for summary help too.

"Little does Luna know that her flawed life is but a part of an engineered competition that her brother participated. However, there is a lot more than simply a competition and a prize, but an evil attempt at altering humanity for life."

I rewrote it about 5 times and it still sounds wrong. It's one reason I don't like doing a new story - you have to write a summary. Anyone? *Waves*

And avoid 'a lot more' and other weaker words- in the short amount of words you need to have the maxium force...'more' is fine and instead of for life I think I prefer forever...it's more final if you know what I mean...

Just my opinion...I'm hardly the summary queen!

'However, there is a lot more than simply a competition and a prize, but an evil attempt at altering humanity for life'

'but an evil attempt' does not match 'there is a lot more than'. 'but ...' is either telling us something in contrast to what is already true about competition, or it's explaining something that isn't true.

'However, it isn't just a competition and a prize, but an evil attempt at altering humanity'.

or

'There is a lot more than simply a competition and a prize; it's an evil attempt at altering humanity.'

I need a title and perhaps even a summary for a collection of common mistakes made by authors in their writing. I wrote a bit of contents just now. It got funny actually (at least to me). If I said title "Why won't you read my stories?" - that will probably just steer people away instead? Summary - lost it now...arrgghh...

Speaking of Mary Sues or Larry Stues or whatever, there's an interesting test you can use to determine if your character is a "Mary Sue".

http://www.onlyfiction.net/marysue2.html

So, yes, the test is fun, but it can lead new writers in the wrong direction.

Should judge on the product and not knock things down when there's really nothing there in the first place.

It's just so hard for me to distinguish which is passive and which is active, and I don't see it until a reviewer points it out.

But quickly, passive and active is easy to define. It all depends on the subject and the object of the sentence. E.g. Ball is object, Luna is subject (too used to Luna now). Luna was hit by the ball - subject first. The ball hit Luna - object first. Most of the time, when the subject is active, it is introduced first and all. How do I know all these things in detail? I can explain more, but like I said...later.

And thanks for the small warming up!

How do you add sympathy to a character that doesn't have much emotional attachment to, well, anything or anyone? An indifferent person, per se.

I was thinking of doing it by actions (that are perceived as good) but she lacks heart behind them. Thoughts? I'd appreciate if more ways were shown to me :P

If it's self preservation whack on a back-story and watch the readers get out their hankies...

Sorry that probably isn't any help.

The one I currently have is that, in her backstory, she finds out due to a certain event, that she doesn't care. (aka, she was indifferent prior to it). But I am pending between that, and her backstory CAUSING her to be indifferent. Leaning towards the first one more, though.

Am I making any sense? X_X

I think she should probably care about something though, even if it's weeny like a pot-plant, it'd be quite hard to write with a virtual robot. :)

She cares about...beauty. can that be her pot-plant or does the pot-plant need to an actual object?

...It probably needs to be an object :p

*tries to think of substitute for pot-plant*

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