I'd do anything for my friends because even if they're not really close, they're still there, and I really appreciate that.

My definition of a friend:

A friend is someone who will cry for the sole reason that she knows you're hurting. It's someone who will love you even when she's ** as hell. It's someone who - after having been away from each other for a year - will return, and your relationship will pick up right where it left off. A friend is like a sister or brother... except not biological. :)

My definition of a friend :

Is some one that was always there for you and never turn their back on you ever. A person that you can trust to be by your side with out worrying.

(I have many definitions of a friend)

My definition of a friend is someone who doesn't care what they look like around you, who just wants to be with you for the sake of being with you.

konban wa

Someone who doesn't care what he/she looks like around you, yes... and also someone in front of whom you can be yourself without worrying what that person might think.

What are your other definitions?

I'm guessing you're not talking to me, right? Because I have no other definitions... I don't think I do, anyway. I just make them up as I think of them. (That makes no sense.)

What do I consider a friend? I consider someone a friend if they push you, even when you don't want to be pushed. But at the same time, they know when not to push. They know when it's important that you're left alone. Then again, if you think you want to be left alone, there are times when you are wrong -- a good friend, a close friend, knows when those times are. She'll force you to open up, and afterwards you'll feel grateful to her for it.

A good friend is someone who will cry with you to be sure. But people tend to forget: a good friend will LAUGH with you, too. It's not just about the sad times; it's about the happy ones as well.

No I wasn't talking to you, but it's nice to hear from you too. =D Yeah, friends push you to be better. To help you.

But no one's mentioned someone that's like them. I have a friend that's like me, except for the fact that he's a guy. We look and act alike, and people blame me for using his sayings, even though they don't blame him for using mine. People think I'm monotonous and copy other people. *glares at them evily* Anyone have a friend that's like you?

Yes yes yes in every single way! Basically, it's like if one of us leaves the room without the other, we get an electric shock. And if one of us is absent for a single day, the other goes crazy. (We are both girls.) But what's really creepy is that me and my friend have the same middle name. Spoooky.

konnichi wa

No, I don't have any friends that are so similar to me. I've got different friends who are similar to different parts of me. But mostly we're all very different... and that's, I believe, what makes us such great friend. I don't know if I would like someone who's so similar to me. I don't always like myself very much. ;-) Anyway, I hate basing friendships on how you're similar. That's what starts up racism and prejudice and that sort of thing.

Flight of the fire: wow. that is scary. And welcome to fictionpress!

painted.music: I don't base friendship on how I'm similar to them, it's just that my friends are like me. I think it's weird that the people around me are like me. Even my pets are like me, even though when I got them, they weren't. O.o It's kinda scary. Propoganda, maybe? We all rub off on each other?

A friend is someone who will listen to a dumb dream you had or that will ask someone out for you, and bake you cookies when they say no. A friend will tell you if there is a rumor about you, and they will get to the bottom of it. A friend will let you talk about someone you will never see again, but are so in love with, even though they don't really care. A friend will talk, listen, yell, scream, shout, stomp, hug, cry, stay up with, call, and make crappy cookies with you.

For me...I can define friends as...uh...he should be there for you whether in good and bad times...share your sadness...always give a helping hand...willing to give up his/her happiness for your sake...comforts you when you're sad...cheer you up when you're down...and stay with you...

I'll tell you one thing...it's not about how long you've been friends or he/she is always with you...it's about trust and friendship you earned to keep your relationship...And besides, even if he/she is far away from you...even if you can't see each other, as long as you keep him/her in your heart, he/she will always be with you... : )

Friend: Someone who you can trust and watches your back in times of trouble; someone who sticks up for you in times of need; someone who assists you in times of desperation.

konnichi wa

My friend just suffered a terrible tragedy in her family. Me being a good friend means that I hug her and hold her and cry with her, even though I'm afraid because I don't want to say the wrong thing. I have no idea what to say to her, but I swallow that fear so that she won't have to be alone at such a time. That's part of being a friend.

When a friend is upset, all we can really do is be there. Ultimaltely, no one can fix our problems for us, but we need support from friends to help us through it.

Mine is someone who will protect you, and will let you drag them places.

A friend is someone who chooses to be with you for you. Not your money, not your status, not your stuff, but yourself. And you feel the same way to them. They will do what you want, and you will do what they want. You'll know what's best for eachother, and always be there. You'll know when to be the shoulder to cry on, or if you need to give them some space. This, is true friendship.

konnichi wa

I agree with you in some aspects, but I disagree about others. I don't think a friend necessarily knows what's best for you and vice versa. They can be completely clueless about what's right. What's important is that they try to do what's best for you... even if it turns out badly.

But all we're talking about, all we keep saying -- it's all very vague and flowery, you know? I feel like... "Yeah, okay, always be there for my friends. Sure. ... Now what?" Does that make sense? Sure, I know to help my friend cry, help her laugh, say the right things to make her feel better -- but how? And what if doing so hurts, really hurts me. Who should I deal with first? Should I completely neglect myself and tend to my friend? Is that what a true friend is? Because then that person... she should help me more than herself, right? So while I'm tending to her, she tends to me? It's just... all very confuzzling sometimes.

Friends push you to do what they think is best for you. Sometimes they want their friends to be better than themselves, so they push so hard that they punch/slap, even though it only causes lost respect and turns them into cruel hypocrites. But then, they aren't true friends, are they?

I guess true friends are only true friends when they have true friends.

cakenoodle -- how do you mean? Can't I be a true friend even if a person doesn't reciprocate that feeling?

I meant that if a true friend doesn't get what they give, they'll eventually get tired of being a nice person and give what they're getting, and the relationship is ruined, but not always beyond repair. Some true friends continue to be nice, even though they're tired of not getting anything in return, and they become kinda like a door mat for their friend to wipe their shoes on and stomp all over.

konban wa

*sigh* Unfortunately, that I understand. =(

I know how it feels to be a doormat, too. All too well... T.T

you know what?...if you're really a true friend to her, anything you will do and did to her makes sense...if you think it's nonsense, well it's you're problem...and you know, what i've said "give up happiness for his/her own sake" means not totally leaving your own body...thats a part of friendship...you should understand that...

and she should help you more than herself??...part of friendship is HELPING EACH OTHER, right?...what if she really needs you?are you going to turn your back on her because she wasn't able to help you when you needed her most?...

and besides..."always be there for my friends. Sure..Now what??"...you know, if you're just keep on saying it without any action, i think your question"does that make sense?", the right answer for that is YES...

you must have been misunderstood what i've said...uhm...you know, it's alright if that person doesn't reciprocate that feeling you're talking about...even if he/she doesn't love you back as a friend, its about you, you know?

you can be a true friend to him/her even if he/she doesn't feel the same way about you..."friendship is not about expecting anything in return"...i think that's a fact...

i have experienced that feeling...its pretty hard because it's like you're the only one who's thinking that he/she is your friend..but it's worth..you know why??because of my eagerness to be her friend, i was able to earn her trust and became friends with her even if it took me a long time...lol

don't worry cakenoodle, as long as you play your role as a friend in his/her life, i think...uhm...you'll be alright^^?

konban wa

I think I wasn't clear earlier. I said: "Always be there for my friends. Sure... Now what?" I didn't mean it in the negative way as if I don't really believe it. You know how you learn about God, and it's always this happy-happy idea, like "love God and everything will work out for you." Some other such nonsense. I believe in God 100 percent for those of you who don't, but I still have no clue what that means. If love means give, how can you love God? God needs nothing from you, so how do you love someone who doesn't need you? Anyway, that's how I feel with friendship. Don't tell me to "always be there for my friend." Give me something practical that I can do. My friend's uncle just passed away... now what I did was make sure to always find her when I wasn't sure where she was. Even if I wouldn't be at her side ever second of every day (because that'd probably creep her out), I'd make sure I knew where she was. That way, I could sort of just peek in on her to make sure she wasn't breaking down. And if she was, I would go sit with her, hug her, cry with her, make her laugh when it was obvious she didn't want to think about him anymore -- that's the reality, the practical ideas that need to be implimented. If someone had told me just then, "Just always be there for her," I'd have no clue what to do. But no, I wasn't just "there for her." Well, I guess I was -- but I had specific things I made sure to do, more than just that happy-happy idea of being there for my friend. That doesn't help me. I need someone to tell me what's wrong and what's right -- even if it's me that tells myself.

On a separate subject, I'm not going to purposely not help a friend because she was unable to help me once before. What I mean to say is... well, if I keep giving myself to her and helping her in her hour of need... only to find that time after time after time, when I need help from her, she doesn't help me -- not because she can't, mind you, but because she has no interest in helping me -- well, then you really need to re-evaluate your friendship. Maybe for you a onesided relationship can work, but I don't think I'd be able to keep giving and know that the other person doesn't appreciate me and doesn't value our friendship the same way.

If my friend wants to help me and can't, that's another story. I respect them wholly and completely. Even if she can never help me with any of the problems I face because they're so completely out of her league... I don't need her to help me. What I need to know is that she wants to. Again, I'll use the same example -- when my friend's uncle died, I couldn't help her. You can't take away that pain because you can't bring him back to life. But I wanted to help and to me I feel like that's enough. The thought isn't always what counts, but I think that in this case it does.

Sorry if I wasn't clear. I value my friends above almost everything else, and I definitely did not mean to imply otherwise.

you know cakenoodle, according to what you've said about true friends who don't get nice after they realize that they can't get anything from you, i think they are not what you can call TRUE FRIENDS...there's a more accurate term for such persons----SO-CALLED FRIENDS!

you can't call them friends if they're like that, you know?

hmm...if they are a really friend of yours, they shouldn't get tired of you even if you always do what they don't want...and besides, true friends will be forever nice...even if sometimes you make a fool out of yourself, they will not continue...but forever will be with you even if they look ridiculous being around you... :)

hey thats just some kind of figure of speech...don't take it seriously,okay? :P

ah...i see...well, sorry for the misunderstanding...you know, there are many possible cases about your statement a long ago...uhm...so you don't know how to make her feel better because of that event?...

uhm...you know, i didn't meant that "always be there for my friend" literally...well, i can advice you something you can do for her...

you just have to let her be alone for a while...it's hard to forget that when you have someone around you...and you can comfort her even if you don't hug, cry with her or make her laugh...and i think making her laugh will be much worse...uhm...lets see...i think all you can do for her is to wait until she recovered...by that, when she's ready to face the world again, you will be the first one to greet her with smile(i was just making it exag, lol)...and ...uhm...and besides, her problem, i think she's the only one who can help herself...^^

konban wa

I'm thankful for the advice, but no -- that's not really what I meant. It's different for every person and I'm sure that for many people you know that'd work, but that's not what she needs. What she needs is what I -- along with all her other friends -- gave her. It happened about a month ago now, and we've been helping her through. She does need to have a laugh every once in a while, and I'm not ashamed to give that to her; I don't feel like it's putting her in some sort of denial. It doesn't, not at all. It's how she gets through it -- she can't think about him every minute of every day. But anyway, no, I don't need advice with her... she's doing fine -- as fine as can be expected, anyway. I was just trying to make a point, really.

ah...i see...well, people are different...lol

sorry again!hahaha...

I'm not really good at such things^^

maybe i shouldn't have said that^^

whew!

konnichi wa

No, don't ever be sorry for offering advice (unless your advice somehow gets someone killed... but I doubt that's likely to happen). It is helpful, really; it just happens to be that's not how I would help my friend. Giving her space would be... well, for it would seem like everyone was abandoning her and just make it harder to deal with the world. So we've pretty much been sticking to her like glue, though not in the oppressive sense. And she's really doing very well.

But we're getting so off topic right now, LoL!

When I said true friend, I meant me. The person that didn't reciprocate that feeling was my friend... no "so-called" friend.

She likes to think she's always right, says "I'm nice" in that cutsie, irritating voice.She always chastises us for swearing-- and she considers "shut up" a bad word. But yet, she calls her standpartner a **, and once told me to STFU. There was also the time I accidently stepped on a ketchup packet and a spot got on her shoe. I sincerely said I was sorry. And then she told me she "expected payment" for it. Yet last year, she threw a piece of chicken at me because she wanted me to shut up. I forgave her for that a long time ago without an apology because that's what friends do. And now that I look back on it, I shouldn't have because she never acted like a friend. She tells me all about her problems, and thanks me for listening, but when I try to tell her about mine, she meanly says "And what do you want me to do about it?" And she hits us, and not playfully. I think friends should never do that. Hitting makes it seem like you have the authority over your friend, but you don't. Friendship can only be based on the grounds of equality. Respect is needed in all relationships, and if you allow others to disrespect you, you're just a doormat.

So now when she does stuff like that, I yell at her and tell her what a hypocrite she is, but she denys that she ever did those things, but I know she remembers them. She just wants to seem like an angel, but she can't hide that pitchfork.

And I really pity my other friend because he sits there and takes it. He calls himself "her punching bag". Sometimes he'll stand up for himself, but most of the time I defend him and yell the hell out of her just because I want to tell her what a hypocrite she is.

*sigh* Great relationship, huh?

but now I'm getting off topic. please excuse my rant.

I'm sorry that your 'friend' acts that way. I have one of those myself, it seems that every week she has some reason that she won't talk to myself and my other friends because of something we did or did not do (such as accidentally dropping a pencil and leaning down to pick it up while she was talking, though she claims we were ignoring her). It has gone so far to being if we associate with someone she's mad at that she won't talk to us because she believes us to be siding with them. Then by the end of the her little tantrum she expects a full apology from each of us. When I finally was fed up with it, she came to me with an apology about how she is sorry that she acted the way she did, however I was being a bit mean to her.

Ugh, the drama of high school and friendships.

Drama. Yes, I quite agree. (Hm, "quite" has a way of making whatever you're saying sound British, LoL.) Fortunately, I have very few -- if any -- friends like that. I'm glad to say that I love all of my friends to pieces. :-)

A while ago I had a very close friend who was... hm, fiesty. She was always the type to get mad for petty reasons and then hold a grudge. I was the one to whom she told all her problems -- all the people she hated for one reason or another, all the people she'd never talk to again, etc. One day, she got mad at me and stormed home. Not a big reason, really. I figured that if I didn't apologize, we'd lose our friendship. Just as I was about to call her that night, she called me, apologizing profusely, saying she was being a jerk and all that jazz. It really meant a lot to me to see that she actually called me... She never called people to apologize, always expecting that curtesy to be extended to her and not from her. But she called because our friendship meant more to her than that.

That's definitely a true friend. One who is willing to go against what she's used to doing just to keep your friendship alive.

to me a friend is somebody who you can trust and have good times and bad times too.

konban wa

*nods* Agreed.

I agree too.

Wow. This is a really mature audience. I made a forum asking the same question on another site and I got stupid (but funny) things like "someone who will help you hide the body" and "Someone you can drunkenly make out with and not be awkward with the next day".

Weird.

I say a friend is someone who will protect you, and you will protect them. No matter what, you'll always b able to trust each other.

konnichi wa

Who will protect you at the same time and hide your secrets, yes... but sometimes, when it's dangerous for you, they'll tell someone. Even if you'll hate the person forever, that constitutes a good friend -- someone who is willing to put the actual friendship at risk because they care more about you being safe than you being ** off.

I think what makes a good friend is some one who will tell you how it is. A good friend will tell you what you need to hear; not what you want to. You should also be able to talk to them without worry of what they will think. They should be able to put your needs before their own.

konnichi wa

Tell it like it is, yes... but not necessarily always. Sometimes what you need to hear is a lie -- not to make you feel better/good about yourself but... Well, I can't think of an example at the moment, but sometimes you need the lie as opposed to the painful truth. Obviously not with something like, "How does this look on me?" Something more serious than that. A true friend isn't someone who'll be bluntly honest to the point of breaking your heart but at the same time won't be afraid to tell you, "You're acting like a jerk right now to everyone." She/he can balance both.

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