Group 1 Discussion - Co op Agency Forum

Thank you, but Dex what time is it? You're still awake? Okay, it's all clear now. I know what to do. Thanks.

#251 Mar 01st, 1:43am

It was friday yesterday! I can sleep in all I want, that was why I was up at almost 2am

#252 Mar 01st, 11:14am

Okay, I'm going to be even more insane after I finish - I think I'll be going around biting people for blood. I'm about a third in and should be done in an hour? Haven't even done my other story, but oh well, if it's not for master Dex, not like my description would have worked out.

Should I post it up in Yeah or email it to you or? yeah.

#253 Mar 01st, 7:45pm

Had to do something else halfway in. Almost lost my concentration. Okay it might be a bit disturbing and crazy. I tried to resist. Anyway, I've finished. Your turn Dex to fill in (if you can bear reading it). Anyhow, waiting for someone to respond. It's a touch short though, but I guess the description will be enough. Be free to suggest what to change and all too.

#254 Mar 01st, 9:37pm

Honestly, I don't want to be filling in description for this chapter, well...at least the rape part. I really have no idea how to describe that *sweatdrops* Maybe you should get help from Ferrett for that, haha.

I'll go add in descriptions for everything that's not rape in the chapter though. Let me do that right after I finish writing this "poem" thingy...

can you post it on YEAH please? it's easier for everyone to read it that way.

link here: http://groups.msn.com/y-e-a-h-/general.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=730&LastModified=4675662039863765495

#255 Mar 01st, 9:45pm . Edited Mar 01st, 9:47pm

Well I've added in enough for you to fill in I believe. You decide anyway, and so where should I put the thing for you?

#256 Mar 01st, 9:46pm

just on YEAH. I've edited in the link in my previous post, just in case you forgot

#257 Mar 01st, 9:47pm

I usually respond to emails as I have them on alerts. Hate refreshing to find out. That's why I rarely use edits myself, but I saw it. I'm posting it now.

#258 Mar 01st, 9:50pm

Skeptical about the size I think I made too many posts, but I've finished posting the entire thing. It was a bit disturbing to write on one hand and on the other hand I got a bit pyscho writing it, but I'm calm now. It's ok.

#259 Mar 01st, 9:55pm

I think the stuff about the television viewers really broke up the flow of the story. It might be better to omit them and have them in the next chapter instead.

As for the explanation about why the police aren't there, I don't think it's really acceptable. Since in real life I do a bit of volunteer work as a first aider in public events, I've seen that any event with over 1000 people per say is going to have police on the site. I buy it that the terrorists can have killed the police on site already before the explosion, but it would make sense that the police on site have already contacted their peers before they died. Besides, the explosion would have prompted people close to the stadium to have called the police already. In most terrorist attacks, I think police would get there within minutes and surround the area, trying to get in.

Unless a helicopter come and picks them up or something, those terrorists will not get away. That's why most real life attacks are suicide attacks. As a result, I think it is more logical to say that the police were already there on the outside, asking for a negotiation, by the time that the massacre ended, but the terrorists are threatening to kill the remaining hostages (singer and band members) if they come in. That's probably where the rape can begin.

#260 Mar 01st, 10:38pm . Edited Mar 01st, 10:40pm

Well yeah the police onsite and the security guards died already. As to the police coming - well I did say because all the cars blocked the roads. In countries they have TVs outside, and when everyone in their car walks out to watch in the middle of the road and others stopping there listening to the radio without moving, it's possible.

As to your notion of someone would have called the police on a terrorist attack. A real case had someone raping someone and everyone was virtually watching, like the two were near buildings and everyone was watching from their homes and all. No on called the police thinking maybe someone else would. There's reasons to it, but I won't go into pyschology. Only did someone eventually called the police at the very end, but by then the guy had left and she had died. This was a famous case and has been extensively studied. Considering people are mostly only watching on television - it's worse. And the reason why - because their identities are all unknown - so you won't be guilty of not reporting. Same goes for someone injured - that's why it's best to identify the person so they don't remain unknown if you want help!

#261 Mar 01st, 10:44pm

Yes, I do know that one case (studied it in psych class), but unfortunately, that one had only one person raped and killed, not a lot of people. There was no explosion either. Also, it was early in the morning when nobody was on the street. People saw from their homes.

We're now talking about an explosion. Remember the band member had called for the security, the security was not answering, then they called their managers? It makes a lot of sense that the management would've called the police. Otherwise, the crowd would have before they died. If not, people who saw the explosion would because they are fearing for their lives. This is no longer about the psychological "if I don't call, somebody will call" thing, this is more like a crowd in panic. We also forgot about the fact that every city has patrolling policemen. Something that big would get through right away. As for the traffic jam, doesn't make sense either since police can get by foot. In large cities, police stations are practically everywhere. If not by foot, by bike. If not by bike, by motorcycles. I've never heard of terrorist attacks where the police arrives half an hour later because nobody called them, lol

#262 Mar 01st, 10:56pm . Edited Mar 01st, 10:57pm

Well yeah police would be coming, and it wasn't half an hour - the whole thing probably would have took fifteen minutes (as in the raping) at max to complete, but yes I agree someone would have called the police earlier. So the police would have still took time to got there.

And yes they could escape by helicopter or something like that. I never considered how they could escape - or even some racing car could get them out. I also believe they would have killed in police coming just like they blew road up when some police cars came.

Okay, if you like, you can modify that bit a little then.

#263 Mar 01st, 11:01pm

Okay, I won't argue. Someone should have called the police earlier? Easy - include that they had a transmission device to block off mobile phone transmission in the area during the killing. They did want more time. Can afford a rocket launcher, can afford that.

Still someone should have called. Okay, they could have walked there. In the end, most of them might have been killed trying to escape? So we never talked about how they would escape? Sorry then.

#264 Mar 01st, 11:07pm

Okay, if we go by your way and say that the police are outside, but due to hostage they wait? They'll probably come in. It's a terrorist attack - negotiating with terrorists? Most likely they'll be getting armed forces and SDU? in to clear it up. They'll just kill them all. Might even get like army stuff. They have blew up a stadium.

I don't mind if it works.

#265 Mar 01st, 11:18pm

I was thinking about several terrorist attacks like the one on the theatre in Russia. I don't think they could go in right away.

But yes, definitely have the police getting there. Long explanations about why they are not there makes no sense. I agree with the escape thing. Let's add that in the first chapter. Have the people escaping and stepping onto each other to the death. Things like that happen a lot in cases of panic. Then more rocket launchers can go off and kill the people, and maybe some random shooting too. Actually, that would speed up the process considerably, making it more likely that the police are on their way as the rape occurs.

That way, we don't have to worry about whether or not somebody got the police, whether or not there is a traffic jam, and everything like that... yes, armed forces are much more likely than police but they take longer to get there since there is no base everywhere like police stations. It is sort of like how in case of accidents, police and fire trucks arrive faster than ambulances. We can have the police arriving, but are getting held off by the terrorists, but when the armed forces arrive, the terrorists are getting out of there by helicopter or something...

#266 Mar 02nd, 12:10am

I'll recap...

So what are we changing - where, how, etc...?

What about Ferret's redo? Have you seen that Dex? Any comment?

Anything else...

#267 Mar 05th, 4:06am

Yes, I've seen Ferrett's redo. For the most part, I'm fine with it. If it's ok with you too, can I edit it a bit? Just very minor grammatically or word choice things I think, nothing major that I can remember.

Since in ch. 2 we discovered that ch. 1 lacked realism, perhaps we should put in the panicking crowd into the first chapter, with them stepping each other to death and a bit more rocket launcher/bullet action.

For ch. 2, I suggest that we omit the stuff about the police not coming, because they should. I agree with you that the negotiation thing made no sense on my part. Sorry about that. Um...perhaps just have them trying to seize the area in this chapter, but being fended off as the rape occurs. I have no objections to the rape scene itself that I can remember. I'll get back to you on that later. Should we end the chapter with the ending of the rape, or end the chapter with the terrorists' escape? How are the terrorists going to escape when the police, and probably some special forces as well, are rushing towards them? I vote helicopter...that's just too cool, but is it a bit too flashy?

#268 Mar 06th, 6:42pm

Yeah, the panicking might be part of it. They would go crazy on explosion. I'm not too sure if they'd do another rocket launcher though - maybe 1 more, but not more since bullet count would be limited too. Maybe some people could get fired by accident or something then. Just random shooting.

It depends on how many people are part of the group then - to block of cars of police and other squads, you'll need quite a lot of people in the team. In these events police numbers go wacko.

Helicopters okay I guess - but then the other way could be a secret path - like they've planned this and dug a tunnel or something, which is highly likely and more than explains how the secret systems and other stuff could be avoided in the first place. It happens more in bank robberies but still.

Anything else I missed?

#269 Mar 06th, 7:14pm

I like the secret path idea. Very good. As for the police, well...they do take time to get there. At first there are just the police from the nearby stations, so with the advanced weaponry, I guess they can hold them off for a bit. As more reinforcements come, they'll take the secret path. How about that?

#270 Mar 06th, 7:35pm

Yeah, they can deal with smaller numbers. Helicopter seems a bit too common, and a bit not-fitting to the story - and plus the holicopter could be shot down, traced etc...

Holding off is cool.

#271 Mar 06th, 9:00pm

maybe have them collapse the path with dynamite after they're done so that their trail is harder to track

#272 Mar 06th, 10:30pm

Yeah sure, of course - or else it'd be too easy. Or maybe even better - they only blow it a lot later and somewhere inside so it'll kill those trying to follow them via the path.

#273 Mar 06th, 10:32pm

I guess the blow it up later thing is a bit hard since whoever is trying to follow them would have gotten the bomb squad to secure the area first, I think...After all, there was a threat at my uni once, and the first thing they did was make sure there weren't any bombs in the building that was threatened to be attacked.

#274 Mar 07th, 4:50pm

I mean somewhere down the secret path. They're not going to detect that unless they walk all the way, and once they walk down they'd blow it.

But yeah, I'll be okay if there's no bomb.

#275 Mar 07th, 4:57pm

Yeah, I guess I still prefer the dynamite right after their escape to stop them from pursuing their track rather than to try and kill them. The mechanics of all that seem a bit more difficult

#276 Mar 07th, 10:24pm

So all set now? We should wait for Ferrett's reply too. Who should do the changes then?

And I guess Frac has left sadly, but that's the case.

#277 Mar 07th, 10:35pm

To check for bombs you have to secure the area.

To secure the area you'd have the secret path blocked.... aka blowing up the secret path can be done.

#278 Mar 07th, 10:45pm

Well, maybe we'll do the old routine of concon doing the general writing, me filling in the stuff, and ferrett doing the part about Larg. I guess Larg's part for ch 1 is already done, so ferrett will just have to wait a bit before Larg appears again, unless he wants to help with other stuff.

#279 Mar 07th, 11:23pm . Edited Mar 07th, 11:24pm

Ask me about boom booms. Is it sheer wall boom boom, overhang boom?

#280 Mar 07th, 11:25pm

You mean chapter 1 for Larg?

So you also mean for me to edit the two chapters as well before you do the final changes? Okay, though if you want it that way I have to be honest that I'm going to be a bit slow for now. Currently I haven't even updated Elegant Emotions for quite a while, which I really intend to ASAP, but if you're okay with that I'll get around to doing it sometime later.

@Ferrett - boom boom? Sorry?

#281 Mar 07th, 11:26pm

bombs. I love em. Where do you guys need the boom boom descrip?

#282 Mar 07th, 11:33pm

you mean blowing up stuff? somewhere in ch. 1 when the shooting starts. i think we can insert a description there somewhere.

concon, i don't mind if you're going to be a bit slow. im having midterms currently, so i won't have that much time to write anyway (not to mention that im still finishing up a chapter of that story im writing for fun). either way, just take your time.

#283 Mar 08th, 3:21pm

Okay, if you're okay with it. I'm more like I just started uni so have to prepare everything like textbooks and getting started, stuff like that. And I'm also doing my unreleased story first. Talk about modifying, I've had to change everything so much there that I haven't gotten really far in terms of writing. Corrections and reordering.

#284 Mar 08th, 3:26pm

No, I thought you guys were going to blow up the escape route.....

#285 Mar 08th, 5:59pm

yes, we are. do you want to do that description? if you do, I'll just leave space for you to write it in when I put in the description for concon's stuff...

yeah, preparing for uni is a bit hectic, concon, but don't worry, you'll get used to it quickly ^^

#286 Mar 09th, 12:04pm

Yeah we were going to blow that up too.

It's alright - I'm currently more annoyed that I have to hold back in posting a story just to wait for a few people to reply. Beta-ing can be good, that new function, but not when people don't really reply sometimes.

Anyhow, I'll try get to it maybe before or during easter, which is pretty soon actually :)

#287 Mar 09th, 10:30pm