Instead of responding to reviews on the review board or in Author's Notes, I will now respond to any questions in this forum, so everybody can see the answer but it doesn't slow down the story. Since there were no Author's Notes about questions in chapter four, we'll go right on to chapter five.10/23/2006 #1
AUTHOR COMMENT TO A REVIEW FROM POST EIGHTEEN - MeLovesDavid pointed out three instances where I used "forth" to mean "fourth." I just wanted to say I fixed it and I wanted to thank the reviewer. I have trouble with homophones all the time, since the mere act of sitting in front of a computer causes me to fly into manic novel-writing, and sometimes I need the spelling and grammar mistakes pointed out to me. Thanks.
AUTHOR COMMENT AT THE END OF POST TWENTY-ONE - Well, here we are at the end of the fifth chapter. Now, all seven of the main characters have been introduced. People now have an idea of what this story is going to be about … a pair of teenage girls, coming from two opposite sides of the personality spectrum, learning to work as a team in order to keep themselves and their siblings safe on the run. There may be a few fairly major characters that are introduced later on and stay for a while, but there will be only seven MAIN characters that stay constant throughout the whole story.
Anyway, now that the tone has been set and all the primary characters have entered the picture, suggestions about the actual workings of the story are now back on. Like in my Almost Home story, I have a pretty good idea where things are going, but little details are still fluid. I appreciate every review I get and I feel honored that people are sticking with my stories. You guys are great.
REVIEW FOR POST ONE, BUT DIDN'T COME UNTIL POST 21 WAS UP - Your story reads like a memoir at this point. It reads like something that would be published in spurts in a not-so-conservative magazine. Your ideas are scrumptious! I need to have this story in front of me and write all over it, haha. I have so much to say about it. No way to type it all here. I'll just say that I love the beginning, but the next sentence does not go with it. It is as if two different people are speaking. Too much drama too soon for a story. For a magazine, I think it is perfect! Make sure your characters are distinguishable. Lots of people have a hard time keeping track. I know, wtf, right? I know that, for me, I love getting compliments, but come on, that isn't going to help me. Good luck with finishing! And congrats on graduating!
AUTHOR RESPONSE - You'll forgive me if I found your review hard to follow. I couldn’t figure out exactly what you were suggesting, and maybe even found the suggestion about character development a little hasty considering you were reviewing the first post which isn't even a complete chapter. You are the first person to claim “lots of people” can't keep track of my characters. First off, who are these “lots of people,” because all the other people who have reviewed my stories have actually listed the uniqueness of my multiple characters and ability to give them individuality a strongpoint of my posts. I’m confused as to who these “lots of people” are, that care so much about my story that they discuss it with others but don’t suggest it in reviews of their own.
As for the suggestion about too much drama so early, I thank you for the suggestion, but you have to get about two or three complete chapters in to understand that I keep all the home life and motivation for running away in the first chapter so that I can get to the real point of the story … these kids on the run. I don’t feel like their lives at home is wholly important to the real point of the story, other than the fact that their home-problems are the reason they leave, so I lay down the foundation early and intensely and then get straight to the running away, beginning with chapter two. About the suggestion that it sounds like more than one character is talking, that is another thing no one else has ever complained about. Anyway, thanks for the review, even though I was confused by most of it.
Thanks for Reading,
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