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Have fun!

Guess I should talk about my story.

Um...so far, mine is about an old woman in a nursing home. I don't know whether she's crazy or not, but I would guess that she probably is. She's sick, and doesn't eat because her digestive system is messed up, so they have her on intravenal food.

Sadist doctors enjoy poking her with painful blood thinners in her non-existent fat.

When she was younger, she used to tell her grandchildren and her children a story. I haven't decided what that story is yet.

Well, that's all I got. Truth be told, it's still hand written. (I suppose I should type it up soon). I've got less than a page hand written, so I'm not exactly finished. When I changed the deadline to the end of the month, I suddenly got very lazy. Actually, I kept writing/editing Palphor's Crystal. Not only is it in much better shape than Phoenix, but it's also much easier to write, since I already know what it's about! Just have to add in the twists and turns.

This one is a high school drama, inspired by Degrassi (good show, but I actually don't watch it much, so I'm not sure how the inspiration was inspired). There's a boy who's the star pupil who was raped, and there's the girl who has a crush on him who knows his dark secret and also knows what he did to the rapist. There's the star pupil's best friend, who has a crush on the girl who knows star pupil's dark secrets. There's also mister friend's twin sister, who hates the girl and the star pupil, but is friends with this girl Reiko, who is friends with the girl who has the crush on the star pupil.

And that's just one class, and one page of notes. I'm still working on the rest.

It's tough to explain everything, but that's how soap opera-type dramas are supposed to be! I suppose I could have made it easier on myself if I just gave names and little blurbs, but that's too easy. Maybe I'll post again about more details. Just to up the post count, once again...we're on the first page now, but that hasn't attracted people....still, it's only been a few days. Maybe I have to be patient.

I have a story I want to write and I don't know how to start it.

This is a fantasy story, where witches, magic, griffins and the like exist within the "normal" non-magical world. There's a dryad, a wood nymph, who is in love with a herder of magical sheep. The dryad tries many ways to woo the herder, including changing the weather so he can stay near the tree the dryad lives in and even talks to him. But to her discontent, he doesn't notice her and then goes to get help from a powerful group of witches/wizards. The poor, naive shepard is stuck in the middle of the fight between the dryad and the group of witches/wizards. I haven't figured out how the problems are solved, but that's the fun of writing.

What do you think?

Hey everyone! I've had several story idea floating around in my head, but most are multi-chapters and waaaay to long to ever hope to accomplish in the time provided by this. Another one which I'm planning on writing tonight, on the other hand, is way too short. So I think I finally found one in the middle.

I'm aiming for this to be a four-shot. It's about a high-school girl who is diagnosed with cancer and how her family and friends are torn apart by it. It shifts between clips of the main character's journal and third-person omniscient narrative. In school (currently nameless main character) has to cope with her best friend after a recent breakup with another friend, and her new-found feelings for her ex. At home, she must deal with her mother, who has been beside herself since her daughter diagnosis, and her sister, who felt rejected by her parents and ran away from home.

Sorry if this was confusing without names, but they're usually the last thing I think of when I write a story ^_^' Anyway, what do you guys think?

(In response to FoxTail13's post) Hmmm... sounds very interesting. When I first started reading your description I felt like you were falling into the clichésof magic mixed with non-magic type stories, but yours does sound quite interesting.

As to starting it.... (ahh, this is my worst part of writing). I haven't read any of your writing yet, so I don't really know your style. You could go in the direction of a prologue establishing the magical beings and perhaps the relationships between the different species. You could also go in the direction of starting right from where they meet. Sorry to be so unhelpful, but your guess is probably better than mine.

I look forward to reading it when you post it.... or have you already posted it? I'm new, so I'm completely lost @.@

@ Drea: I doubt I ever mentioned this, but the five thousand words could just be the start of the story, too. The idea was that by actually spending some honest time on an idea instead of shooting it out in 500 words or less (unless it's just meant to be that short), you would get the inspiration flowing again and pull yourself out of a writing rut that you might have landed yourself in by spending too much time with a single piece or something.

@Copper: Whoa, my fp alerts must be broken, because I never realized that was there O.O;; At any rate, I also think its a very cool story. I'm a total sucker for fantasy and things like that, so as long as it's got good plot and all that, I usually really like it. Still, yours interests me a lot more than most of the fantasy stories I've run into here. I think what turned me onto it the most was the uniqueness of it - maybe I just haven't read enough, but the idea of a nymph coming onto a sheep herder and then having a hard time getting him is hilarious to me. I'm a little confused about how she went from going to wizards etc for help to fighting with them, but you'll probably figure it out before the time to write that comes.

As for a place to start... that's always tough. When I look over it, the first thing that comes to me is a scene from the dryad's view as she admires her lovely herder. I feel like the beginning has a really peaceful, pastoral theme that gets chaotic as the dryad tries harder and harder to reel him in. Um... that's all that I've got for ya right now. Any help?

I'm a little confused about how she went from going to wizards etc for help to fighting with them, but you'll probably figure it out before the time to write that comes.

First of all, thanks for responding in the first place!

Secondly, the witches are a higher power in the magical realm in this world. They grant wishes/favors, usually one at a time. The wood nymph, (whose name I actually haven't decided. its probably going to do with nature, like Holly, Heather or leaf or something of that sort) goes to the witches for help to woo the sheep herder, whose name is Jude. Problem is is that Jennifer, the female lead, likes Jude and Jude starts to like her back. Therefore, the witches cannot interfere because its against the witch moral code to mess with true love. *I am fully aware that the "Cant mess with true love" stuff is taken from the show "The Fairly Odd Parents"* The nymph is still madly in love with Jude, so she gets angry with the Witches for not granting her wish and then starts a huge fight between her and the Witches.

I have not planned out what goes on after that, but that's basically why that happens

Again @ Drego: Niice. I'm actually in the process of getting around to reading another story about a high school girl with cancer, as a matter of fact. That sounds so depressing... anyway. I think the focus on the current relationships between the characters is a good thing for this topic, of course, but I also think that maybe a little more background for all the people would help. What else makes the main character special besides the fact that she has cancer? What crowd does she hang out with, does she do sports or extra currics, what does she do in her spare time... that kind of thing. If you focus too much on her present condition, it might be hard to give the characters enough depth since putting them in school already makes it harder to give them their distinct personality.

I definitely like your scenario for the school stuff the best. Those relationships sound really realistic and fitting for the circumstances. I'm a little confused about the home life though... where's the father in all this, if there is one? Where are the other relatives? Why is the sister so selfish as to run away when a sibling is so sick?

And about the cancer... what kind is it? And is it treatable? What stage is it? I wouldn't say you had to be terribly detailed, but I'm really just wondering what her chances are to live through it. Oh, and what brought it on, if anything? Is it genetic or anything like that?

I think your layout for this seems pretty cool too. Switching between such drastically different povs might be tough to work out, but I think it sounds like you could really work with them and do some sweet stuff with the piece.

Whoa, way to switch that up! Jennifer? We have a normal girl in here? Now I feel really bad for the poor nymph. And hey, stealing stuff from the Fairly Oddparents is always cool - and in this case, it really seems to fit. One thing doesn't seem to completely mesh... the nymph who can't even woo Jude with her species' wiles has enough power to go against the witches? Oh, and isn't the nymph's love just as true as Jennifer's? I don't know... I might be taking the line a little too close to how it's used in the tv show.

This still seems cute... if you're doing the whole thing in just five thousand words, though, I wish you luck.

I'm not sure if I can fit this into five thousand words, but it'll be a challenge nonetheless.

Yeah, Jenny here was a recent addition to the plot. I know, poor little nymph. D:

I haven't really thought through why the Nymph can go against the witches and her wiles. Maybe because she's magical and the witches are magical and magic can fight against magic. Not the greatest explanation, but I haven't thought about it and its late on my side of the world. :D

About the love thing...the best way I can explain it is that the Nymph is trying to manipulate Jude into liking her, while Jennifer and Jude like each other out of their own free will. So the Nymph's love isn't as "true" as Jennifer's.

Haha! Thanks for the various nicknames everyone! With a pen name like dragonflydreamyr, I really have no idea what to call myself :p

I finally came up with names for some of the main characters, so that should make this a bit easier. Main Character = Lauren, Guy Best Friend = Kyle, Girl Best Friend = Hailey, Kyle's Girlfriend = Jess, Lauren's Sister = Mackenzie

When I wrote my last post, I was in the very beginning stages of this story. Since then, I have developed the idea a lot and your quesiton also helped, so thanks ^_^ If you come accross any fics that you find similar to mine, I'd be glad to read them. I want to get an idea of what's out there, partially to spark ideas and also to make sure I'm not copying others' work.

I'm deffinately going to try to do some background on the characters, particularly Lauren, Kyle, and Hailey. I've thought a lot about Lauren's "special qualities." I'm having some trouble figuring out how to express it, but I think she will be interested in psychology; she's the type of girl who worries more about the problems of the people around her more than her own, which of course makes being diagnosed with cancer particularly difficult. That will lead to the conflict with her friends because she probably wouldn't want to burden them with it. The whole concept of the "cliques" she hangs out with is another conflict. Hailey and Kyle have just broken up, and Kyle gets a new girlfriend who hangs out with hte atheletic girls, while Hailey hangs out with the theatre girls, and Lauren is caught in the middle of it :o

Moving on to home life. Lauren's mother is the one who obviously has trouble coping with Lauren's cancer, but her dad is the type who doens't communicate much and bottles it all up. The plot twists this can leadto ^.~ As to her sister, yes, she is the type of selfish little twit who would run away with her sister sick. But she's pretty young, maybe nine or ten (not young enough to just grab a stuffed animal and walk to the end of the street, you know?) I'm not quite sure where to fit in other relatives. I know they would be involved in this, but I'm having length vs. content issues as it is, so I'm not sure what to do about that.

I really need to do some research before I settle on a type of cancer, but my original idea was lung cancer. I think my main issue right now is figuring out chapter breaks. The first chapter will be a general idea of her life before her diagnosis, while the second chapter will be about her diagnosis and variuos issues at school. Beyond that, I'm not quite sure how I want to break it down. This is meant to be a relatively short story, so I doubt I'll go very far in her illness. Any suggestions?

(Sorry this is so long. Talking/writing things out helps me a lot ^_^')

Dude, writing a lot is always cool. Especially on a forum like this ;) These topics... seem really badly organized... if anyone wants to fix it, let me know. I forget whether it's set for everyone to add topics, but if it's not, me and Lime will have to do it lol. Anyone else think the thing's retarded?

Whoa, sorry, staying on topic. We could call you Xyvkar too, but only me and Lime would get that one :( And here's the other story I've come across with the high school girl cancer victim: Six Feet from Paradise by JD Allen. It's really good; it won a couple SKoWs. (Still, I've actually found some better stories on here, but hey. I guess the SKoWs need a little more competition). You don't need to worry too much about plagiarizing it, at least not with what you've got so far. Yours seems to be going in a very different direction. And if you're going to read this, I warn you, it's over two hundred thousand words and addictive to boot.

About the cancers... if you're going for fatal, leukemia (often, people live with it, but if it's caught too late, it's completely untreatable) or brain cancer are usually the best. I know some stuff about cancer off the top of my head, because it runs in my family (don't worry, no one's died) and because we studied in in bio class, but I know more about the treatment than the symptoms. Um... bone cancer is another toughie to live through, but it's easier than brain cancer. I think bone cancer sometimes causes leukemia too... but don't quote me on that one. If you're interested, I've got a huge ass bio book, so I can go look up stuff in there about cancer and tell you about it, and I can also check my bio notes for this year. I do know that lung cancer is tough for a young kid to get, though. Basically, she would have had to constantly inhale cigarette (or marijuana, I'm almost certain) smoke for her entire childhood. Basically, cancer is caused by an error in a cell that causes it to replicate nonstop. This cell will grab onto an organ somewhere and then redirect some blood vessels to itself to feed its massive growth. The pressure the group of over reproducing cells (which is now called a tumor) will do some serious damage to the organ it's on, and plus, if the bloodstream breaks a piece of it off, the tumor can then head through the blood and hook on some other organ. All that is right off the top of my head, so the serious details - like the exact cellular error that causes it and exactly how it messes with organ function - might be a bit off. I'll check up on it later, or if you beat me to it, any medical site will tell you all the details.

Love the details you're adding in though. Personally, I can't find any serious gaping holes... and any little ones that may be there are evading me right now. I think that's because they all seem like the kind you'll answer while you're writing without needing to think about it... As for chapters... um... well, if you're not going very far in, but you intend the five thousand words to be the entire story, what are you going to resolve? You don't have to tell if you don't want to, of course... I'm not trying to force you to spoil it or something. :D

GOSH DARN IT, I was so into writing about cancer that I forgot to add the link! Six Feet from Paradise. There we go.

I have a novel about dragons that takes place in modern-day New York... Main Characters are Amden, Kitez, and Metta... Their dragons are Sorak, Darius, and Shey... They need to find the Dragon Sorcerers named Luxor and Sejong, and their dragons, Nitro and Zarian, and kill them and find out from them where to find the ancient Time Dragon, then go back in time and stop the evil before it destroys the world in present times. So, got any suggestions on how to start it?

Wow, and it reposted them in reverse order, to boot. FP is a weird place. But I'll clean em up for ya ;)

I really have to hand it to you, you've got some really great names for your characters ^.^ Course... that's about all I get about your story... what is the Time Dragon, exactly? What is "the evil"? Is it the Time Dragon? If so, why is he evil? His name seems intrinsically neutral... Oh, and why do they need to kill the Dragon Sorcerers? And how are dragons gonna fit in NYC, anyway? Aren't they a little big? You've got a good super general outline here, so it seems like you've been thinking about this and know what you're talking about... although I don't get it. If it's a novel though... you mean at least a hundred thousand words, right? I have no idea what the main plot is going to be like, but it seems like you're in danger of whipping right through it in less than fifty thousand, at least from the insane speed of this outline. Hm... maybe starting with each of your protagonists before they meet each other and gradually introducing them would help slow it down a bit. While you're at it, maybe you could explain the dragons a little... what are they for, how did they get there, why are they with humans, do they have magic powers, etc. Oh, and why are those three the ones who have to destroy the dragon sorcerers and go back in time?

Did any of that help at all?

I am totally clueless about at least half of the stuff on fanfiction, so I probably can't help at all unless we have similar tastes, but I'm not the only one on this forum anymore 3 Anyway, what are you writing about over there?

@DRaGonFrEaK-Sorak: Well, I think theflyingcrabsareeatingmyhair pretty much said it all. Like her, I'm not completely sure what it's about, but it sounds like you have a pretty firm grasp on it. I look forward to reading it!

What is your fanfiction pen name? I'd be happy to take a look at some of your work. I can't promise I'll know all your fandoms, but I'll do what I can.

Well, my stuff on here is BY FAR much better than my work on Fanfiction, but my username over there is Luke-I-Am-YO-MAMA. Thanks for the advice!

If the three kids don't kill the sorcerers, then the sorcerers will get in the way and use the Time Dragon and go back in time to make sure that evil takes over the earth. Amden, Kitez, and Metta have all been friends since they were in diapers, and they are 15 now. The dragons don't live in the city, and nobody really knows about them. When the rider calls for them, they just come out of nowhere. The Time Dragon doesn't really have a name, and most riders don't really know anything about it. Not necessarily a novel, but when I wrote that, I was thinking about some kind of modern day fantasy with "prophecies", sorcerers, dragons etc. The time dragon is the ancient dragon that hides deep in the earth and controls time. It is not necessarily good or bad, but whoever is the first ever to find it is its commander. The "evil" is just all of the dark dragons, including the elemental dragon armies controlled by the two sorcerers. (WARNING: I COULD NOT FIND ANY SUPER GOOD NAMES FOR THE DARK DRAGON ARMIES!!!) The elemental dragon armies are the Stone Falcons (Earth), Flare Sparrows (Fire), Waterward Phoenix's (Water), and the Gust Eagles (Wind). PLEASE HELP ME GET BETTER NAMES FOR THEM!!! The only one I really like is Stone Falcon. The dragons were made by a powerful force having something to do with the lack of oxygen in tall mountains, and were discovered destroying villages in the Alps and Himalayas in 1900 B.C. There, mysterious fires appeared constantly, and people started disappearing. In 10 years, over 100 men and women had disappeared (I think you probably guessed correctly that they were taken by dragons), and they were trained by dragons and around them. The dragons didn't hurt the people. The people became "Dragon Riders", and anybody descending from them are dragon riders and have the ability to summon a dragon out of nowhere. Amden, Kitez, and Metta all are names that secretly show blood of a dragon rider, but only dragon riders know. The dragons can fly (of course), but they can't breathe fire. Sorak is a fighter dragon, which is called a meech dragon, Darius is a Greater Dragon, which are good for transportation and can carry very heavy loads, and Shey is a healing dragon, and can heal anything with the help of her rider. Some of the dragon riders have the ability to mindspeak through anybody and anything else. Only Luxor, one evil sorcerer, know how to mindpeak, along with the three kids, Amden's uncle, and Kitez' parents. I hope I didn't leave anything out!!!

Actually, I think I kinda like Flare Sparrows more than Stone Falcons, although Sparrows does seem a little odd when talking about dragons.

I'm not good at this at all. I'm good at spelling/grammar mistakes, not plot ideas. I think I'd be better if I got the chance to read your story.

But if you still want help with your fanfic stuff, I can probably help more with that than with this...

sorry I couldn't be more help...

Ashe

The names you have aren't that bad (although I think I usually associate phoenixes with fire - probably thanks to squaresoft, eh, enix - and that's not necessarily a bad thing). Gust Eagles are a little funny, I guess, but it's not really a bad name, if you ask me. I am guilty of naming a character of mine Jinkgi, though... and I have to confess that I like that name... All right, the biggest question I still have is why three kids have to save the world. What is so special about them?

Also, I think that the dragon group seems a little omnipotent with that healer. But I guess it gets worn out or something? In that case I think it works fine.

A few more questions:

If the dragons don't breathe fire (which is pretty sensible given a lack of oxygen in the mountains), then how did they set fire to villages in 1900 B.C.?

Don't people in NYC notice when a dragon just randomly appears out of nowhere?

Is the civilization exactly the same as ours in terms of technology? If so, why? Why didn't the dragons render some of that technology useless to invent (for instance, airplanes)?

How did the dragons avoid hurting people in the fires... I'm being a little pedantic here, but it's sorta a valid question.

Where did the evil dragons come from, anyway?

Why did the dragons want humans riding them in the first place?

Elements? Why don't the good dragons have elements? How are they supposed to fight dragons that can... do whatever those elemental dragons do with their elements?

Why do they want to control the Time Dragon -_- I know you already explained it, but I didn't get it... if you'll explain it with the story, you definitely don't have to sit here and try to get it across to silly old me...

What has this Time Dragon been doing all this time? Is it the reason why time flows normally? If so, that implies that dragons have a serious effect on the physical laws and space/time continuum stuff of this universe, which means that dragons should definitely have played a bigger part in the creation of society, which means that their world should have very different technology from ours.

Why are these three sorcerers the only ones trying to go back in time with the Time Dragon when you say there's a whole group of evil dragons? Have these three defected in order to act on their own to take over the world? If so, where do the rest of the elemental dragons come in?

Why are these particular seven the only ones who can mindspeak? Are they or their dragons related in some way? Did they go through some sort of special training? Is it a fluke? If so, why can all three of the kids do it, but only some of their relatives, and only one of their enemies? And what good does it do them?

Eh... I think I've bugged you enough now... that's a lot of questions... anyways, I hope that sort of helped. I'm a little OCD about plot holes, and I make a regular habit of over explaining stuff in my stories, so don't think that all of that should get mentioned... but I was just wondering if you'd thought about it.

I have somewhat of a story idea.

It's somewhat of a mystery/something else, and it's going to be the first time I write something like that.

Basically, a girl buys this bracelet that kind of called out to her in a way. Said girl's life begins to change because she starts to look at life differently. I don't know how to explain this outside of my mind. I really have to work on that. So things happen, and she's going crazy until she sees *gasp* someone else with the same bracelet. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. The whole idea was just a produciion of me on a candy hype, but we'll see where this takes me.

I also have another idea. I'm not sure which one to do.

The general plot for this one is: Amber (random name) is in a coma. No one knows why or how it happened, she was found outside the parking lot in the supermarket at which she worked in with her head banged and her brain dead. What happened was, she witnessed a strange exchange between two men who were deciding how to kill her mother. They are planning to do this in two weeks, when Amber’s dad (who is a policeman) is supposed to leave home to visit his brother’s baby’s first birthday. Amber is stuck in the world of Ember (once again, random name). It’s for people that are not quite dead. She has to get back and warn her mother.

Plot holes are found mercillesly in both, but these are just random musings. I really have to sit down and think about this.

@acapella33: The second musing sounds interesting. Do you plan on turning it into a story?

On ideas/help, I'm not sure on what to say. One thing comes to mind is that you mention Amber being in a coma. How does she have the ability to get out of her coma to warn her parents about the killing? Is Amber out of the coma by then? I may just be misunderstanding your post, but I thought I'd ask anyhow.

I don't really have much more to say than Copper... About the first idea, what's so special about the bracelet that there can't be another?

I don't really think one of these is better than the other either... ah... to me, the first one looks like you've got more of the action outlined, but the second one looks like you have a better idea of where you're going with it.

Eh... not very helpful. Sorry :(

Heheh... I've been working on a story, but I've only now gotten the general gist of it. It's sort of... funny... and creepy at the same time.

So, a eighteen year old named Josh believes that his sister, Hala, sold her soul to the devil. Over the years, he's come to think she's that evil. (Sorry that's so vague, I'm trying to make the reasoning behind that subtle, so I'm still figuring it out). She is HIV positive, and has been for ten years at the point that the story begins. Her brother has decided to kill her. Josh doesn't know that she stuck him with an HIV positive needle... she tells him that little detail as she lays dying. Afterwards, Josh decides to spread the love and infect unsuspecting women who are silly enough to sleep with him without protection. Eh... it's a little fic about the urban legend of the guy who goes around giving unwary girls HIV.

The actual story has a lot more depth, but I had a hard time summarizing it. Questions would be very helpful, because I think that even in my head there are some gaping holes that i haven't noticed yet lol.

I might have fried my brain from the heat (it's hot on my side of the world, currently), are sleep deprived, and/or stupid, but I'm unsure as to why Hala wants to kill Josh. Is it because she's just plain evil just because or is there some deep meaning to why she wants him dead?

As to Josh figuring out Hala being evil: maybe she likes inflincting pain on people/anmals/plants? Or she's the abusive girlfriend in a romantic relationship. She could be a thief, someone who vandalizes, is often caught breaking the law (school "laws" or actual laws that are enforced outside of school). I'm not sure of "subtle" ways to make Hala sound "evil" without being stupid or cliche. Hope my ideas help!

ETA: How do you pronounce Hala's name? Is it Hay-lah, or Hah-lah or some other way?

Edit: Haha, I originally asked how Josh didn't know she was HIV positive. I guess I didn't read your post carefully enough, Flipper. Teehee.

I take it Josh is at least a little ... um, insane ... well, that's not the word i'm looking for, but you get my meaning, right?

I've never heard that one before, about the guy who goes around infecting unsuspecting women ... It's a new one for me.

Ashe

Eh, whoops, I meant that Josh wants to kill Hala. (I pronounce it Hay-lah in my head, but it's one of those names that you can pronounce Hah-lah if you want to). He is most definitely insane lol. My big plan for the murder is for Hala to "accidentally" cut herself with a knife that's been sitting in old rotting meat for a few days. I'm trying to make it the kind of run down environment where that isn't really odd.

The evil thing is more of a general demeanor, I'm hoping. She's not the kind of girl to get in a relationship... let's see... she's a prostitute, and she sings a bit. That's a piece of her evil, but since Josh is pretty clearly messed up and the story is a first person from his perspective, I'm letting the notion come from somewhere further under the surface. I was going more for the psychological touch, I guess. There is a deeper meaning as to why Josh wants to kill Hala (although it's somewhat founded on his own skewed perceptions), but I won't give it away till you read it so you can have to fun of figuring it out :D

That does help a bit, especially since it's making me talk about things in a little more detail.

Edit: WHOO! Teh first virginity! We rock.

Okay, here's my idea for a completely different story:

It's a fantasy set in a fictitious world that is my mind's twisted combination of Medieval and 1800's England. In the world, there are people known as Magic-Users. They have the ability to speak to the gods that created their world, borrow their power, and harness it in the form of magic. People of Nobility saw this as a divine power and didn't want the "filth" of society to possess it, so the king made it illegal for any person who is not of noble blood to be a magic user. The main character, Evangeline, is a legal Magic-User. Her family's stable boy and her best friend, Tobias, is an illegal Magic-User. When he gets caught, the two of them run away and encounter a gang of illegal Magic-User children, led by a boy named Cedric. They must figure out whether or not Cedric can be trusted while hiding from the law. Meanwhile, the prince of the kingdom, Allistair, is faced with the options of following in his father's footsteps or choosing his own path in life.

@Flipper

Sounds like youre off to a good start. Like someone else said, how is Josh not aware that she's HIV positive? Also, what happened to their parents? Will this have any significance in the story? I like your idea for the story, though. I look forward to seeing how it turns out.

Wow, that really sounds like a piece that will break my heart if it doesn't turn into a good long story. I like it. The notion of legal versus illegal magic users also creates a lot of tension. My quick questions would be what age the main characters are, and who exactly has the ability to become a magic user. It sounds as though certain people have the gift to become one, regardless of their class; however, the social status of the gifted one determines whether or not it's legal for them to use their ability. Still, you were pretty vague, so I can't tell if that's the case or if everyone can use magic just by virtue of being human if they train the skill. Also, who taught Tobias magic?

I just realized I was making a major assumption here. Do people need to be taught magic, or does it come naturally? I guess I figured that it would be too difficult to enforce a law if there was no way to restrict who could use it magic.

I hope this idea works out, because I'd love to read it!

I think I need to make this a little more clear -_-... Josh knows Hala is HIV positive. In actuality, he followed her to the clinic and was there when she found out she was HIV positive. Now, I know there's a serious privacy policy in effect at those clinics, so that needs a lot of ironing out. Still, I'm not going to mention that event implicitly in the story - since he's nuts, he doesn't read his memory like a normal person would, so the actual scene in his mind is completely symbolic and seems kinda strange. What Josh does not know is that his sister stuck him with one of her infected heroine needles one night while he was sleeping. When Josh finds out that she did this, he mixes their blood when he cuts her. (Another sign that they don't know much... he wasn't aware that there was a chance that he wasn't infected the first time through, especially since Hala did it about two years after she was infected, when her chances of spreading the disease were at their lowest).

Thanks for pointing things like that out... are there any other blatant holes? I may or may not have actually figured them out :P

@Flipper

Thanks for the feedback! Yup, it will definitely be a nice long story... and a sequel! Yeah, I know my description was very vague. I have a pretty firm grasp on this story, so I was trying to keep it concise. The ages are: Eva: 14, Toby: 13, Cedric: 16, Allistair: 16, Percival (Eva's brother): 17, kids: ranging from 5-10. Becoming a Magic-User is a genetic trait passed through families. People are born with it, but not everyone is. It's not a large percentage of the population, but it's not too rare. Eva taught Tobias magic in secret from what she learned from her tutors, and Cedric taught most of the children. There is some natural ability that comes without teaching, but in order to truly harness the power, they need to know incantations in Latin that "call upon" the gods. As far as the law, anyone who is found to be an illegal Magic-User, trained or not, is charged with it, as is anyone who has aided one. The penalty is death. The point of this is like a genocide against them; eradicate all living illegal Magic-Users to eliminate them in future generations.

I have two semi-minor questions that I've encountered: Should each person have a specific god/power that they use? Either way, Eva will specialize in plants and Cedric in water. The other is should the law consider people noble by marriage or just by birth?

And a major question: What should the rating be? I could manage to keep it at T, but Allistair really has the potential to make it M *cough* The executions may also be questionable.

Thanks for your help! I'm starting this tonight! Whoot!

Me personally, I'd go with people choosing a specialty. The old elements/gods/power thing gets a little cliche sometimes (-_-). Ah, but wait... putting gods in could add a whole layer to the story when you start dealing with divine conflicts... urg... now that I think about it, I really don't think one way is better than the other.

As for marriage or birth... huh. The 1800's is a late time to have nobles. Let's say that traditionally, people are nobles by birth, rather than by marriage or mere money. Eventually, these nobles will become so inbred that they'll start to die out. At the time this story takes place, this could be becoming a major social problem, so they could have changed the law to say marriage is the only necessity, and the dislike of this change could create some more social tension?

But saying that all you have to do is marry into nobility... that sort of undermines and refutes the whole notion of killing the inferiors in the first place. Being judged worthy by one noble is enough to protect their lives if they're illegal magic users? Besides, that seems like a snide, cheap way of protecting those nobles who choose to have peasant students of magic: rather than risking their lives to train them, all they have to do is get married and the problem is solved (points at Eva and Tobias).

Still, saying it has to be by birth would lead to some serious problems with miscarriages and deformations as time goes on, so I don't think that's the answer, either... maybe the peasant to be married has to have evidence showing that they do not use or have magic? But how could they prove that...?

Haha, now you know how I feel. Tobias and Eva is the main reason I'm wondering this. Tobias' parents would obviously know that he's a Magic-User and would want to do everything in their abilities protect him (and themselves), such as attempting to marry him to a noble, perhaps. Which is all just my sad excuse for justifying the fact that they would be working for nobles and sticking their law-breaking son right under their noses. "Shoot me now!" situation if you ask me :/

Sorry, I forgot to include this in my last post:

As far as a situation with nobles, the government and people of noble status are mainly based on the Middle Ages. It's the people of lower status who kind of wedged their way into my mind as people of the 1800s.

Nononono, it's good, see, he could have started learning magic while he was there, and they were then AFRAID to take him out because that might seem suspicious! Or, servants could be inspected upon quitting their jobs so that the nobles can make sure that none of them are quitting due to magic abilities.

And about the inspection thing... there could be certain magic users with the ability to tell if other people can use magic, and these people could be employed to check people getting married. However, these talents could be kind of rare, so it wouldn't be feasible to check every peasant to see if they used magic.

My biggest qualm about this idea would be... that it's obviously a rip off of Tamora Pierce... A lot of other authors deal with this sort of thing, so maybe it would be beneficial to go around reading some Medieval-based fantasy with tensions between the nobles and the peasants to see how they deal with the matter. Or, you could research the actual Middle Ages to see if you can get some inspiration for the right touch to tie this whole idea together, or even find a better idea for creating magic-based (but not necessarily) tension between the classes.

(I liiiiike research. I'm constantly "researching" how to make a plot that draws readers in and keeps them there, make good characters, make good scenes, etc... which means that when I'm slacking off writing and just reading stuff (or even reading manga (-_-)), I can tell myself I'm working... I shouldn't tell others to follow that path of evil :P)...

I always have trouble coming up with ideas to write with fiction. Every SINGLE time I get an idea or plot, I end up scrapping the story. It seems as though with the few possibly good ideas I get I end up not liking them, and deleting the story. How exactly can I start acutally liking the work I post, and also how can get my story(ies) noticed without being a review groupie?

well, in my opinion, it is good to join forums and talk about your story. keep giving detailed summaries so that others can help you look out for plot holes and confusing points in your story. There are many people on FP and to go with it, many many stories. It takes time for your story to get noticed. I agree that it is good to have people who want to read your story, but just because you get a few hits to your story and no reviews (this is trying to get reviews by not being part of a review forum) doesn't mean your story isn't good. Keep writing and someday, someone will stumble upon your story.

If you have a blog or sometime, advertise it on there! I have a blog and I've pulled a few people in to read my stories. They don't leave reviews, but I do know that people read my story. Generally, it is good to keep all your ideas and past scrapped stories and go back to them when you've found some inspiration. Since I'm not you, I can't tell you how I can get you to like your story, but if you have fun writing a story and not really stressing out and worrying about getting it noticed, I think you might like your stories more. In other words, write for fun, take your time and enjoy it. Always keep a positive attitude when writing.

Many people's stories don't get noticed overnight or over the course of a month or so. If you take a look at some of the good stories, you will see that they have been writing the same story for years and it may not even be complete! It takes time and patience. =)

Have an idea? Share it, we won't steal ideas here, that's not our thing. Instead, we're here to help you get those wheels in your head spinning by offering advice to your idea. I hope this helped out a little, if anything.

My idea is about these three girls who have "supernatural" mental abilities i.e. telekinesis, psychic abilities, and pyrokinesis. These girls are also best friends, and they are aware of each other's powers. Throughout the story what they have to do is keep their powers hidden from everyone(parents, students, etc.). They face the trials and tribulations of high school, and they sometimes face the struggle of family life. The reason for keeping their powers hidden is because they might get taken away to be tested upon. All of their parents are unaware of their abilities, which I've already explained.

What I want to make happen in the end is that the pyrokinetic girl is giving her validictorian speech as a senior. Some students in retaliation of them doing something to her, or they're just doing it; I haven't decide whihc yet. Decide to pour paint that is the school's colors on her. Then the telekinetic girl who tries to help her out of the gym before she looses control of her powers. Is also embaressed somehow(I'm still trying to decide...I like the idea of them throwing water balloons full of paint at her, but I don't know.). Then furious both girls lose control. As they are walking outside of the gym, they are tearing the gym apart, and destroying things.(you get my drift).

When they reach the outside after a few lucky students of their graduating class escape. The telekinetic girl locks the gym doors, and collapses it. It them burns. The pyschic girl is now trying to prevent one of her other friends who she also likes/loves from getting into a car that will lead to his demise(when she touches people and looks into their eyes at the same time she can see their death). So, far when she interrupted in the deaths of classmates she ended up quickining it. So, I am trying to decide between lettin gher hold him back, and hm seeing the car crash. Then wne she looks into his eyes while touching him he lives to be an old man, making him the anomaly or irregularity within her medaling of life and death, make him die immediately after getting into the car, he gets into the car anyway despite her pleas not to, or she lets him get into now learning that she shouldn't mess with life and death. If he survives, then I'll have them kiss at the end, and let him be the person who she tells about her powers (and of course, he'll still love/accept her).

I know that was long, but that's basically what I wan tto write as of right now. Now would this story be classified as Supernatural or something else. Thank you for the encouragement, and will start enjoying writing fiction more.

E.I.

I'm not a good advice giver when it comes to stories..I mainly write poetry. BUT, I'll give it a shot! =)

At first, this seems a little cliched, but as I kept reading (namely, the third paragraph), I liked the idea more. I particularly like the future-seeing girl getting shocked and confused about her meddling in life or death events of those around her.

I think what would make this a little bit more interesting is (but this is only my opinion and suggestion) to have all three girls exposed one day and sent to a research facility only to escape by using their powers (this feels a little cliched also...but there's a little more action? haha). Of course, by having their secret exposed, they have to work hard to gain the trust of everyone around them. In their high school, they are put into a special section of the school, say, super high security section just for them (due to their super powers). This will still work with the girls snapping and losing it towards the end of the story. Uh...I see some plot holes right now, but I can't quite make out specifically what they are at the moment. Maybe someone else can help me see it. lol.

I'm not sure if the paint will eat away at the rubber of the water balloons...though, I'm sure they will. Chemistry, anyone?

Are there any conflicts between the friends? None at all? How do they keep their powers a secret and still know how to control them? Of course, they need to practice using their powers in order to control them. So, where do they do this? Do they practice individually or do they get together and (dangerously, in my opinion) practice? Are there going to instances where they are almost exposed?

I posed a few questions, but I don't know if they're relevant or make a significant impact. You can ignore my suggestion if you'd like. This is your story, not mine. Finally, yes. This would be classified as Supernatural/Romance...since you do have some romance going on there.

Happy writing! It seems a little late to join the May challenge. Stick around for July! =D

Oh, and I'm sure the other members here will be able to do a better job on story idea advice.

Since this does sound a little bit cliche'd I am going to make small differences like you said. As far where they train, I forgot to mention that they "discovered" their powers when they were younger. Since then they've been training in different places. Such as one of the girl's bedroom, on a farm that's owned by one of girl's brothers. I am trying to decide if there will be some conflicts between them, I'll just see as I go along.

I also agree with you about them getting captured. However, I think what I am going to. Is this, after they destroy the school, someone calls 911(police arrive etc.) which causes them to go on an even further rampage. I think that the psychic (not that I'm trying to make her a Mary-Sue) should be able to "tap" into people's minds where she can cause them to die by shutting off their brain, or just short circuit it, knocking them out. Anyway as the rampage continues, no one knows how to take care of the two girls that are causing the damge. The facility people arrive, and shoot them with knock -out darts, the pyschic girl runs toward her friends, and they shoot her as a possible conspiritor. All of the girls are taken to the specail facility, and tested for their mental abilities. The rooms they are put in lock their powers for that particular room. They eventually start bickering blaming each other for this happening.

They then realize that they can break out by destroying each other's rooms. The telekinetic girl rips apart the pyro's door as she burns the other girls' room. They began searching for the room where the files are kept in order to destroy their own. They find it eventually, all of the files are burned. They then escape, but don't return home. Instead they decide to run away, since they already have their high school diplomas on their particular records. However, they do change their outside features such as hair, things like that. Then they go to nearby colleges in order to still be close, but not seem entirely suspicious. That is when the story will end, and the next one pick up. Provided I write a next one.

As far as the facility people I think that I will call them the PSG (Power Studies Group) (still working on the name). Their facility is in the same state, and they must monitor it constantly. Years ago in an attempt to test a type of gas that will suposedly increse human life expectantcy they tested it on this community, but instead it killed a lot of people. Only a small amount of people grew resistance to it, and the few that did either got powers themselves and were taken away, or their children got powers, and they were taken away. In some cases, entire families were taken. That explains the origin of their powers, since they were the only children on their street, and their parents feared for them to go to other streets looking for friends to play with, they all became friends.

Now how will start this thing off, because should I just go ahead. Tell the story of how they got their powers, became best friends, and then jump into the story? Or should I go into the story, and then tell the plot? I've never written a story like this before, usually when I write fan fiction the plot presents itself, but it's going to be difficult to do that with this story.

Thank you for all of the advice by the way. I truly appreciated it.

EDIT: I had to correct a few spelling errors. I was typing so fast, and I messed up a few words. I didn't want anyone to find this confusing.

That sounds more solid. ^_^

As for how to go about writing it and how to present all the elements of your story, it depends on what works for you. If you have time, it is best to try all the ways and see which works best (this is advice that Flipper gave me a couple months back XD)

When you have your first chapter or something you deem to be postable, let us know! We can help you take a look at it and give input. After all, all stories have room to improve.

@Eclipse

It sounds like you're off to a pretty good start. I'm sure you have a more solid idea of what you're doing than you're writing here, but I'll give you some questions that came up when I was reading this.

What point of view do you want to write this from? Also, is one character your main character or are you going to switch between the three? If you're going to switch, it seems like you have that one girl down pretty well, but the others could use some development. I like the idea of them facing both problems with their powers and ordinary high school and family problems. Perhaps develop that a bit more?

On the topic of families: didn't you say that the people who got powers were taken away? Would this mean a) they don't live with their families and b) their families know about their powers? That whole description about how they got their powers seemed a bit vague to me in general.

Lastly, the scene where they escape from the testing facility... thingy... seemed a bit too easy to me. If this is a facility for dealing with people with powers, wouldn't they be a bit more prepared to contain people with powers? Maybe they know how to bind their powers or something. Also, are there any other people with powers there who have been discovered? Maybe this could be a time that they learn to depend on their normal human abilities instead of their powers. Or, if you really wanted to venture down this path, maybe they could loose their powers forever and finally have the chance to live a normal life? Just a suggestion, of course.

Okay, after all that nitpicking of your story, I'd like to say that I genuinely like your idea. I've seen plenty of stories about people with powers, but yours seems to add a whole new dimension that I've never seen before. I think that because they already knew about their powers and their not suddenly (and randomly) learning about their powers as teenagers, you really gave yourself a lot more space to play with. Also, like I mentioned before, I like how you're combining the conflict of their powers and the normal conflicts of high school life. I look forward to seeing how this turns out!

As to what you were saying about how you scrap your ideas: I've seen this a couple times here on fp and I've been meaning to try this myself. When you get a story idea that you think you can work with, write a short chapter of it, just any chapter that you want to write that you think is a particularly interesting one. Then, start a story on your account that is made up of various story samples. Wait until you get some reviews on these. In fact, feel free to post a link here. I won't speak for everyone here, but I'd be glad to R&R them for you! When you think you've got some good feedback on an idea or ideas, try to start it and make it its own story. Of course, don't feel obligated to do that. It's just one way of doing things and it might not work for everyone. Lime offered some good suggestions, too. Just remember, the worst thing you can do is abandon a story altogether! Just think of all those little story ideas, alone and desolate with no home, no writer to breathe life into them... *sniffle* I'm s-sorry, I have to go cry now...

On the topic of families: Their parents DON'T know about their powers. THey all know, but their parents are all clueless. their parents believe that they are like their brothers and/or siters, powerless children.

It is going to be written from third person point-of-view, and all of them are main characters. I'm still working on everything though, so...yeah.

On the facility thingy, I've decided it's going to be one big major break out. The room people are located in subdue their powers. I am going to have someone who already at the facility, kill a gaurd , take his keys, go to the main control, and realese everyone. As everyone is escaping people (aka gaurds) are firing injections that knock out prisoners and subdue their powes for a time being so they can be locked up. The facility doesn't want to get rid of people's powers, they want to use those people as weapons for military. That is the other purpose of the facilty.

They take in the people who have developed powers, and are using as weaponry. They also want to extract a certain strand of DNA that'll give people tempory powers especially soldiers. So, during all of the comotion the girls escape, and decide to leave their town in fear someone will just turn them in again. They then go off to different colleges in a nearby area so they can still keep track of one another, but they did, as said, change their outside features while keeping names(youknow that whole we have the same, but look different chestnut.).

I know it's a bit complicated, but I'm still trying type everything up as it comes along. Thanks for the help.

I finally posted it! Yay! I named it "The Dangerous Abilities of the Mind", please check it out. I want some feedback. Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it, and I hope you can help me out in the future.

I've been a mess lately, especially this month. I've been on vacations with no internet most of the month, and... Wow. I think you pretty much know what I'm gonna say.

I won't get it done, and haven't even started. And the deadline is tomorrow. Oh well. I know, I feel really mad at myself. I'm really gonna try when July comes.

Well, I've better go write my will. An angry mob (or mom, I should say) is waiting outside my door ready to kill me. Bye for now!

T-T *points to Sega's post*

Swap the vacations with psycho teachers, and that's pretty much my situation right now. I was faced with the decision of completing my May submission or passing Social Studies, and I'm sure you guys can guess which I chose. I'm sorry, and like Sega, I'm determined to make this work in July!

I'm a boy, just incase some of you didn't know. Lol.

Yay Sega! There are so few boys on this site, actually, among young writers in general.

Yeah, I'm a girl, but people really can't tell online half the time. Lol.

I feel horrible for not being able to do the May challenge.

...Well, I *kind* of started by planning extensively and writing only about five hundred words. And now, its time for excuses! School took over my life and finals are coming up so I can't ditch finals...

But I'll make room in July to write whether my schedule allows it or not!

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