Anyone mind if I join this discussion?
I write Tanner Bay, a primetime-esque drama series. I try to incorporate a lot of story ideas into it. Often, when a new story idea pops into my head, I try to incorporate it into this story which helps me to stay focused. Anyway, I write on a myriad of topics in the story, many which have gotten pushed back due to overload. I could use any topic pointers you can offer cause I plan a good 4 seasons of this story and I also will need a few filler episodes from the upcoming second season. Anyway, I'd be glad to discuss your stories as well. You can just call me Show if you wish. Hope to have fun here.6/23/2008 #61
@Show: So you want more topics? Or is it advice about how to incorperate all of the topics? Sorry, I just didn't quite understand it right. D:6/24/2008 #62
Well, ideas for filler topics would be ok, but mainly, I'm here just to discuss everyone's fics, maybe give help, and occasionally recieve it.6/25/2008 #63
*has finally returned from the dead*
Mmmkay, I'll be a good mod for once and go review all the people who've asked/participated in the May event. Lucky everyone here is such a good person and so helpful!
Anyway, I really posted here to ask Show what her/his show is about. Primetime drama? Elaborate? What are the characters like, or what's the plot... or maybe you could use filler episodes to give background on the various characters? Is it teary drama or comic? Drama-queen drama?
*totally clueless*6/25/2008 #64
Well, it's sort of like a Fusion between Picket Fences, and a bunch of other stuff, lol. (Helps if you've seen Picket Fences) Fillers would be random crime/legal/or just plain dramatic issues that are a little bit, well, unusual. I really can't generalize the plot of characters. If I did, well, I'd surely leave something else cause it's a constant rotating wheel. There is some comic, some teary, some suspence, a little of everything I guess. I'm a little of everything type of guy.6/25/2008 #65
Hey all! I'm looking for a little friendly advice, I guess. See, I want to start another story as a side project to mess with when I have writer's block for the one I'm working on now. Thing is, I have three ideas, but can't decide which I want to tackle first. So feel free and give opinions on which sounds more interesting, OK?
Idea #1: Its a revenge tale wrapped around a little romance about a former Russian spy/assassin who's out to get even with her former boyfriend, an ex IRA guy. The reason she's after him is because he not only cheated on her with her best friend, another spy/assassin, but also stole a huge sum of money (money she stole from the Russian mob) AND tried to blow her up in lieu of breaking up. While she's on his trail, she has to deal with a very persistent FBI agent hunting her, not to mention her former employers, the Russian mob and her former lover's sister, a IRA member that believes she killed her brother. This story will be extremely violent, in case you were wondering. Haven't figured out a title for it, either...
Idea #2: A story set in modern time where former goddess of the hunt Artemis (now a bounty hunter) is forced to team up with the immortal sorceress Circe (a famous singer) to find out who murdered Artemis' brother Apollo, who also happens to be Circe's husband. I plan on having them deal with other various deities from different pantheons now living in our world while they search for the murderer.
Idea #3: A futuristic cyberpunk style story where a cybernetic ex-corporate black ops commando with amnesia, the illegal self aware AI that now hides in the hardwiring in his head, a celebrity socialite that has a secret identity as an investigative reporter with a corporate bounty on her head, her goth rocker girl web running data thief best friend, a renegade former priest currently targeted for a hit by the Vatican and a terrorist for hire will all come together for an important task. The task? Take on two rival mega corporations who are at war with each other and not only attempt to get the commando's memories back from one of them, but stop the other from recreating an event that destroyed the entirety of Paris, France.
Soooo...which sounds more interesting? Thanks in advance!6/26/2008 . Edited 6/26/2008 #66
Stick with the first one. The other 2 mess with religion and I don't think it'd mesh too well with the story so stick with number 1. Sounds interesting and it seems like you got a lot planned out anyway so go with it. Idea 16/26/2008 #67
I agree with Show to go ahead with jumping into Idea #1 first because from your description/summary, it seemed the most developed.
However, I think Idea #2 deals with Greek mythology, NOT religion - this is also a very interesting story.
Regarding religion in stories, it is best to be careful when incorporating them into your story. You do not want to offend your readers - make sure you, as the author, stay neutral when it comes to religion and have your characters express their beliefs when it comes to religion. (I am sure this didn't make sense, so I will try to clarify in a later post if you didn't understand.) When incorporating religion into your stories, it all depends on how you introduce and deliver it. If you want, you could also insert a disclaimer at the beginning of your story in an author's note saying that whatever religious views expressed in your story does not necessarily represent your (the author's) views or something to that effect.
I hope this helped out a little, if any. Happy writing! =)6/26/2008 #68
True, Arie...#1 is the most developed although I have outlines from start to finish for all three. The only reason #1 edges ahead as more developed is because I've done a couple of test short stories with the main character to see how she would work out, The Break Up and The Hazards Of Smoking in case anyone was curious (oh, snap! Shameless plug!). I just need a freakin' title for it...that's what's killing me! Argh!
And yeah, I get what you guys are talking about when it comes to religion. I would definitely do the disclaimer thing if I did #3 because I know how touchy some people can get about the matter. I remember all the noise about The Divinci Code...Ew.
Anyways, thanks you two. Anyone else wanna weigh in?6/26/2008 #69
-- OFF TOPIC --
FYI: This thread is meant for users to get feedback for their story ideas. Please refrain from off topic posts in this thread. Thank you.
@Bazooka Joy: Your post has been deleted as you have already said 'hi' in your introduction post two minutes before posting in here.
-- END OFF TOPIC --6/27/2008 #70
After about a month of complete writer's block, I have finally come up with a story idea for my July story! I guess it was kind of inspired by Violent Messiah's second prompt: Ode the the Cliche. I have a very rough idea for it, but here's what I have so far:
The police keep finding murdered women around the city where the story takes place. They are generally all in their late twenties/early thirties. Each one has been found in a pool of blood; her throat ripped out, with human teeth marks surrounding it, and human fingerprints at the scene of the crime. The murderer becomes known as "The Vampire," and some people actually start to believe that a vampire could be responsible for the killings.
The main character, a young business woman (a lawyer, I think) hears about this on the news and is getting very freaked out about it. In the meantime, a new man comes to work at the firm, and she soon falls in love with him. Long story short: he turns out to be the "vampire" and kills her. The police eventually catch him and, after several medical tests, they prove that he is just an insane human.
Any suggestions/feedback?7/06/2008 #71
okay, so someone's murdering these women - specific age range, and the person, "The Vampire" rips their throats out, finds human fingerprints and teeth bites. then in comes the lawyer who falls in love with this new guy who is the vampire and kills her. then they whisk him off and lock him in a insane asylum?
... it sounds good so far, even if it's a rough draft. i probably sound skeptical but i don't really poke around in the thriller vampire-esque scene. not after twilight copies started popping. i can't stand twilight, but i'm not going to go into that. XD
moving on. you know what i think you should do? well, i guess you wouldn't know, unless your inside my thinking cap or in my house ... (screams) sorry ... false alarm everybody. you should have a outside narrator, like in the movie, lemony snicket's a series of unforunate events, jude law was recording the kids story. like third person objected, like a fly on the wall.
have a member of the lawyer's family narrate the story, like "aunt julia something something" or "she called me last tuesday to tell me that she had move in with (blank) and that she had thought that he was the one." ---- something like that, except less cheesy. XP bleh.
(and then i guess you could retell the story, like sarah anderson had just finished breakfast and was packing up to go home, with the family member adding pieces here and there ...)
so, on "The Vampire", do you have a idea of what he has? does he suffer from a illness or maybe something happened in his family that caused him to be this way. is he just sadistic or what? also, does the lawyer ever find out that he is, like does she go around snooping and find bloody shirts or stumble into a room that has pictures of women and slashes across them. or does she find out too late? like she goes, your the vampire! and then he rips her throat out? i watched a movie kinda like this, except the guy was a collector of woman, named casanova. it's called kiss the girls. :D
edit: oh, i have two story ideas and i wanna just know if anyone thinks they're any good.
story idea: the story's called indie, indy, indee and it's about a girl named indie mccord (short for indiana) -- her name will probably be changed. but then i'd have to change the title, so maybe not XP. anyhoo, indie is dating this guy named donald/sean/grey? and they have that kind of relationship. you know, ask me no questions, i don't really wanna know. donald/sean/grey (any suggestions?) sends her a text message -- the message isn't shown and then it goes to gym class where indie's classmate (er, hanma berger XDDD. no, i joke, i joke, i kid, i kid, asks her about the date but indie tells her to drop it. he starts to blow her off more and one day while waiting for the train, she gets in a train car and theirs a guy named max in there and ... it's kinda a rough draft, i'm not sure where this one's headed.
second story idea: story's called marshall and it's about these two kids named marshall and sofia "sam". marshall's the older brother of high school triple threat (the three bst - basketball-soccer-track) brandon. everyday, marshall gets assaulted by brandon's fangirls (if you've watched naruto, think uchiha sasuke except less moody and silent - brandon's brains and brawn) and sofia sees this one day, listening to music and reading a comic. story short, sofia and marshall becomes friends, marshall and sofia kiss, gets weird until sofia gets taken away by child services because her mother abuses her. sofia and marshall hug, and on monday, he finds all her comics stuffed in his locker with the caricature they had done in manhattan. then everytime the doorbell rings, marshall opens the door, expecting sofia. it's based on a story in some book, i think it was in stone soup, called lindsay.
weeell, their both works-in-progress. so, any comments/suggestions? :D8/01/2008 . Edited 8/03/2008 #72
@quite happy: Speaking of Kiss the Girls, I'm currently reading that book. I was like, wait...Casanova? Kiss the Girls? I know them!
Anyway, Indie sounds like a love...triangle? I thought it was a bit vauge to follow, but it seems like Indie's the oblivius lover that refuses to see the wrongs in her relationship...maybe? I think if I got a bit more on the premise, I could probably be a bit more helpful. Sorry!
Marshall seems a bit more developed, and I like what I've read thus far. It seems like your 'not-so-typical' love story, which is good. I think it can get really interesting; not the happily ever-type, but a realistic love story.
I've only got one story idea that I've been mulling over. I've had this one for about a year or more and I've just never done anything with it. It's a fantasy story about a girl (very friendly and kind, strong personality) who finds this boy somewhere alone. He's disillusioned from something, doesn't remember too much about what's happened to him. Also he has deep black wings, like a fallen angel. The girl tends to him for some time and they form a strong relationship, even though her villiage/society outcasts him because his wings are a sign that he is the next 'death god', of sorts. Slowly, he starts being taken over by this God of Death and he is powerless to stop this transition. He becomes somewhat multiple-personalistic, slipping out of himself into this demon. The God of Death intends to use him as a pawn to basically end the world (or something less cliche), and it gets so bad that he (the boy with wings) is almost not himself anymore. His last action is, in order to save these people/the girl, to take his own life.
Kinda cliche, I know, but it's a rough idea. Any feedback would be wonderful!8/07/2008 #73
whoa, no way. i actually just saw the movie. (sparkly eyes) morgan freeman. yummy. the movie was good. i shouldve read the book before i watched the movie, but i just usually end up watching the movie before im anywhere near the book. im such a loser. XD
eh, well its true. indie is a love triangle. XP i wouldnt make indie a oblivious lover though. its like ... how do i explain this? indie does know that their relationship is not like their classmates, not all flowers and balloons and fake sunsent endings.
its unhealthy, and it could kill her, it will kill her someday, but he was there when last year happened and she can't just forget him even though he's pulling her down. then max comes in, guaranteeing her a happier life away from her past. max's twenty five, while indie's fourteen. he's leading a opposite lifestyle, happy, starting his own business, promising. she wants that lifestyle, that freedom. hes purchases two train tickets to leave a tuesday, and he'll be waiting for her that night if she decides to show.
well ... anyways, in the end, she decides to stay in her relationship with danny, i pegged him to be more of a danny then a grey -.-; and she'll just stay in it, even though she knows that it could kill her. it won't really say who she chooses, but i guess the reader will just know. like, the person comes in and ask "you ready to go?" and she'll rise from her seat near the window and grab her coat.
im still working indie, indy, indee out. marshall, i have a better idea of. but enough about my stories, im here to critique yours. XD be afraid not, i won't slam it. im not simon cowell. or am i? ... i hope not.
okay, so this girl (anything lead up to her finding the boy? like, a storekeeper sends her out to go run an errand for him?) finds a boy alone and he has no memory whatsoever of what happened. about this part, for the boy, i think he should remember, like he has a little sister and the girl kind of reminds him of his little sister. wait, question, how old is the girl? is their relationship brother/sister or more like girlfriend-boyfriend?
so its kind of like beauty and the beast. well, not exactly but it has a beauty and the beast feel to it. he's like a vessel, like the death god needs him as a kind of portal. do they choose the person exactly, or is their a prophecy and he's supposed to fulfill it. the god of death intends to use him (okay, kind of my prediction) and nearly takes him over completely.
does the girl try to help him and he slashes out at her, hurting her and then realizes that the only way to save them would be to sacrifice himself? i mean, sure its cliche, but it works. for reference, you should use movies like madgascar and howls moving castle, they both kind of have the same idea - use what others have written and draw from it and make it your own. someone wrote, that, self destruction is the ultimate act of kindness.
i hoped it helped. :D8/08/2008 . Edited 8/08/2008 #74
I wanna tell a dream that I'm planning to publish on FP but I just can't write it down!!! I don't know why but everytime I try to write it like in fic form it never comes out right.
Well it's a dream about my 2 friends and I. I just felt that our friendship was drifting apart so I had this dream that a huge explosion occured and a lot of people died and I was one of the few survivors and I was living in a jungle with a farmer and his 8 year old son. I always wondered how where my 2 friends, kimyou and immortal(FF penname). I hoped that they had survived.
After a while cities were built again but there were hardly any people. It was deserted but I got used living in the jungle that I stayed then one day I went to the lake were a huge tree was and the farmer and his son was there too. He gave me 2 leaves he said that those 2 leaves had my friends lives. Then he let go of it and the 2 leaves flew to the top of the giant tree that was meters high. They planted themselves in opposite sides. I climbed to the top and stoo on one of the leaves.
Suddenly I was in the middle of a lake. I didn't know what to do but I found a metal staff. I grabbed it and walked around in circles then pig like monsters(like in zelda games) appeared and every one of them held a spear. I battled them all with the staff that I had. I was tired in the end of the battle then the farmer appeared with a sword. He was fast and almost stabbed me but as soon as I dodged it, I stabbed him and he disappeared in thin air.
Light formed in the middle of the lake and Immortal appeared. He said hi and started insulting me like always. I just smiled and ignored him then I was out standing in the tree again. I jumped on the next leaf and I was again in the same place. In a lake, the same thing happened, I grabbed a metal staff mosters appeared but this time they were harder to defeat. When I won the battle I was dead tired and fell on my knees then the farmer's son appeared with a spear.
I noticed that my staff wasn't in my hands anymore. I searched below the water but it wasn't anywhere then the boy attacked but I dodged him when he tried to stab me.
I kicked him and he fell then the water grabbed him and drowned him. He disappeared and I waited for my other friend to appear. I waited for kimyou, I just sat and hoped for him to come soon but he didn't. I waited for a long time then I was take out of that place and I was back in my house. The next night after I was done with the farm work, I went to the tree and into the lake again. I waited again but then I was take out again and everyday I repeated everything that I did again and again but even after going in there waiting for hours. He never came back.8/09/2008 #75
-- OFF TOPIC --
Hi Damsel. Glad you could make it over here. =)
-- END OFF TOPIC --
I find it pretty difficult to remember a dream in this much detail. cheers to ya. Anyway, from what you said, the events seem to run in random so be sure to note in an Author's note that this was based off a dream so that you lessen the confusion of your readers. Are you planning on writing a multi-chapter story of this or a one-shot? I'd say try to go slow and try it out with a one-shot first just to get a feel of things and to get your mind jogging. If you need resources to help you get started, go through the "Resources for Writing" thread in the RG thread. I hope I helped you out, but I probably didn't. Perhaps others can help get you started. =)8/09/2008 #76
It's a oneshot and thanks ^^ it's helpful actually.
Description is my number one weakness.8/09/2008 #77
@ Dreami : Woah, you have dreams like that? That`s pretty awesome! Anyways, it sounds like an action/ adventure/fantasy, to start with basics. Firstly, I think you`d probably want to think of a good hook, as the "friendship drifting/growing apart" is pretty overused. But I think you`d make it work (:And obvoiusly, what kind of explosion (atomic? chemical? accidental? fire and gasoline?) since that will be vital to be whole "few survived" factor. When you write that "cities were built again", I think you could probably just have a few sentences for that part. It`s not nessescary to ramble, I think. For the leaves part... well, I`m not sure exactly what kind of theme you want, so I won`t press. (: I think you`d probably have to write quite a few monologues in the view of your protanganist missing her friends, the attachment to the jungle... etc. for the reader to really get the feel.
"He never came back." I really, really liked this ending. (: Leaves a lot open, yet somehow left me satisfied. XD
I don`t know how long or detailed you want this, but either way it`s gonna be one hell of a oneshot! So I`m gonna point out a couple of plotholes you might want to consider.
First: Are you going to show in the story it was a dream...or ... sorry , that part wasn`t clear ^^;
"He said hi and started insulting me like always." - So did she know Immortals before? How come they weren`t mentioned earlier?
Whew! I think that`s all I have for now, fantasy isn`t exactly my forte.
Good luck with writing it!8/10/2008 #78
They were mentioned a bit earlier, you must have missed a bit hehehe.
Immortal and kimyou were my first friends on FF so they are my best friends but I fight a lot with immortal...well that's how our friendship works heh...
And the explosion...I gotta make up something because my dreams never tell, it's just the apocalypse that's why a explosion occured and in my dream I just saw an image of a few people jumping away which included me because I was a survivor.
I just always have a very very very bad time starting lol. I am very bad with description. And yeah whenever I write a dream, I always tell wheter it's a dream or not. So people won't say "Are you retarted to think that this is possible?"8/10/2008 #79
And there's another problem...do you think that maybe it's not long enough?8/10/2008 . Edited 8/10/2008 #80
No, I doubt it'll be too long. Your description was short, but if you go into a little more detail (with her struggling with the monsters, with her trying to figure out what's going on, with her wondering about her lost friends, etc), it should be just fine.
Oh, I have a question though. Once she gets Immortal out, is he going to help her try and rescue Kimyou? After you said Immortal reappeared, then you didn't say anything else about him for the entire rest of the description.
Oh, haha! Oops, excuse my ignorance.
...it was like that...well immortal doesn't help...only sometimes...but he didn't help in the dream, there was just light and then he appeared and said "Hi...oh wow dreamer you're as ugly as ever HAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!" I growled but then I sighed and smiled because I was happy that he was back then I didn't get out of that place myself, it was like a magical portal and the leaf took me out like in literally just a flash.
The monster part is sorta short, sometimes images just flash by. I see myself stabbing a monster suddenly another image of a monster that scratched me with its claws.8/10/2008 #83
What ignorance?8/10/2008 #84
Okay, um, seeing as I`m here, I`m gonna talk about my story now (:
It's not exactly an idea, and I've kind of already started posting chapters up, but for what I'm imagining it to be, you could say I've barely started.
The title's Time Won't Let Me Go, and it's about a seventeen-or-so Cassandra Callaghan, who lives The Life in Long Beach, LA. Her mom's... dysfunctional, and her father's been out of the picture for her teenage years; the only real family she has is her gang. She breaks into an apartment and ends up a squatter, and makes a daily routine of shoplifting, tagging graffiti, street fighting, drug dealing, avoiding authority, etc. The other local gang in Long Beach (a Samoan gang) is set to rid of Cassandra's gang, the SS Latin Nation Kings 13. There are huge ethenic issues brewing between the two, and after several ambushes, she begins to have doubts about The Life.
Then she gets a call from her long-lost aunt, who informs her that her father has been killed by the Samoan gang, which shakes her immensely, since they were particularly close. She stays out of The Life for a while, until she discovers, as always, things aren't what they seem. She ends up going back and forth between "quitting The Life" and "holding on." After all, the gang was, is, and will always be a way of life for her family. She also doesn't know any other way to survive- no education, no prior jobs, etc.
Anyways, I don't really want to blab too much since I've already started writing it, but I'd like some advice on how to connect the reader to Cassandra's turmoil, confusion... the pressure of making a life changing decision, and really draw the reader into the story. I know it starts off really slow.
Thanks! :D8/11/2008 #85
and here's the link if anyone wants to check it out and drop a review, telling me what you think. (:
the title and plot is so...CATCHY!!!8/11/2008 #87
THANKS! ^^;8/11/2008 #88
-- OFF TOPIC --
Again, please keep this thread clean with discussions about others' story ideas.
@Damsel, keep those types of comments in CC as although they are encouraging, but they're not too much on the constructive side that gives the author input to what they wish to find help on.
@Goblin: giving a link to your story asking for others to have a look at it is fine, but please don't advertise it and ask for reviews. If you would like reviews, head to the Review Game and play the game for reviews.
-- END OFF TOPIC --8/11/2008 #89
Hello. My name is Stardust Seraphim, known as Stardust or Dusty to those who want to live... I have an idea for a... not so much a story, more of a portrait in words.
The subject of my potrait is Ash, who is a person who's been placed in a psychiatric ward for some reason or another. This teenager extremely introverted, and likes to escape to a place that is torturous, but is apparently more bearable than the ward. It's a oneshot of sorts, though I am concerned about the ending. One of my problems is that I have to end things very abruptly.
Edit- Has now been published.8/13/2008 . Edited 8/14/2008 #90
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