so, please, good criticism and no flames- please. whoever reviews will get the same attention since i just don't have much time to check all stories posted on these forums. thank you! ^_^

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(..)

C(")(")

yay!

ok, I've got a new story im writing, and it just happens to be a thriller. it's about a vampire who goes insane and kills her parents, and then goes to live with her aunt. did i mention that she's afraid of the dark? yeah, she is, cuz these evil creatures of the dark are trying to get the Code of Light from her and her new friends, but she has to try not to suck any body's blood...weird, huh? I'll try to post it soon, so look for it and give me all the feedback you want! oh, and just to let you know, it will be the no-edited version, so don't be too harsh if you comment...thanks!

ummm, im trying to post my vamp story soon, but who knows when i'll have the time. thanks for C2ing it though! makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...yelgh...

My company, Notes and Cards features a stories section where YOUR stories could be featured. You need only provide the links to your stories if you wish to participate. This section is aimed at not only entertaining my customers but also at increasing your publicity. This is a chance to let your stories be seen by others besides those of the FP community. I know i sound like a commercial but i need your consent before i advertise your stories. Thank you for your cooperation. Yours, Anna E.

Stories of any genre will be considered but i will only be accepting the first twenty candidates.

Cheers!

P.S. This section is for entertainment purposes only and I will not be charging visitors to read your work so please do not expect payment.

Once more,

Cheers!

Please visit the page on which your links will be posted along with a brief summary at:

http://www.freewebs.com/estoriesandgamesbyannae/

Please don't let the site name decieve you as i make it extremely clear that your works are yours.

I have a story running called "I Can't Talk Here" which is a thriller involving the secret lives of people living in a wealthy, secluded town. I currently have four chapters up, and am doing my best to finish it ASAP. Here's a synopsis I wrote:

Karl Gary Bell is a high school senior living somewhere in the United States. His town is rich, secluded, and he has no idea why himself or his parents are there. While he has never been terribly well-received by the members of his community, Karl has found his niche, including his friend Leo, who straddles the quiet line between unnecessary wealth and comfortable living. He has always felt a noticeable social barrier between himself and the rich people who live in this rural town. There have also been certain strange happenings going on within the town that have no conceivable cause. However, when Kaleigh Bennett catches his eye and punches him in the gut in an abandoned hallway, she leaves behind more than just a growing welt; She leaves Karl a note. From this note, he could discover the entire truth behind the secret life of the priveleged, and their underlying influence that has left the entire town blind to their actions.

Title: First to Die

Summary: You'll have to find out yourselves!

Enjoy! Hope you'll pee into your pants while (or after) reading!

Sacrilege: Order Of The Ages

A series of bizarre ritualistic murders have gripped Washington D.C. Politicians of all kinds are bieng killed at an alarming rate. Metro PD detective Chris Pena is called out to aide federal investigations into the murders. The victims all seem to be linked, as belonging to a fabled secret society known as the Illuminatti, rumored to be controlling the entire world. Astonishingly a second series of murders has begun, with a compltely different M.O., trageting only young women...is there a connection? After contacting a freind of one of the victims, Pena uncovers a sinister plot straight out of the book of Revelation. The common link is the U.F.O. phenomena and what is really behind it. The Illuminatti are manipulating events to sire the rise of the Anti-Christ and bring about the New World Order. After contacting a evanglical minister with a unique theory on the true nature of alien biengs, Pena captures the "Politican Slayer" and learns he is an Illuminatti insider and former priest, turned renegade who has started to kill off his fellow conspirators in order to avert the coming apocalypse. Together this unlikely trio are thrust into doomsday nightmare as they discover the truth behind the "little grey men", a global conspiracy, secret societies, The New World Order and their role in the coming Armaggedon.

Intended to be the first in a three part trilogy...Check it out!

Crystal Spirit isn't labelled as a thriller but it's full of suspense with illusion and reality nevertheless. Anyhow *Says hi and cheers*

Please read my story here [ http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2406862/1/ ] and tell me if I should continue, or make the changes.

I've got a thriller of my own, It's called the Speed of Dark. Summary's there and all, I could use some advice. Thanks! =] I haven't written in a VERY long time and could use a jumpstart of some sort. Should I keep writing it?

I'll give you guys' a read as well =].

-devera.

sorry hahha.

Elegant Emotions

Summary:

Little does Luna know that her flawed life is but a part of an engineered competition that her brother participated in. However, there is a lot more than simply a competition and a prize it's an evil attempt at altering humanity for life.

Anyone?

Anyhow. It sounds like a Michael Crichton thing mixed with a bit of fantasy realm. It sounds like it will be a good story, so I'll try to check it out. :D

The problem with that is, they write the same way. Good stories, especially thrillers that are defined by their lack of supernatural influence, take a little while to characterize the main character. Not to mention, if you dive right into your plot then you're pretty much screwing yourself as far as progression goes.

You want to let the reader get to know your characters first hand, and have some sort of emotional reaction--love them, like them, hate them. Then as the story goes on, the changes within those characters are that much more powerful since the reader has gotten to know the characters for him/herself.

Showing vs. Telling is a huge problem on this site.

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