This is not just a plot-claim spot. Although you can do that too if you do want to give up an plot idea. But I want you to bounce ideas off each other for your own benefit. And trade ideas too, like a plot-grab. Get opinions for your idea before it becomes a story, kind of like a preliminary review. These ideas can include character development, plot development, sentence development, summary development. Anything that you can do a hand with, just bring it here.

This is where you take an unstable idea, get some help with it, make it solid. Or where you can possibly pick up an editor who helped you ground a plot into place. Or any other thing that will get you going with a good story or poem, and ensure that you aren't on a one-way street for a Mary Sue or cliche

Just make sure that once you find an idea or plot you like that is up for grabs you claim it appropriately, so that we don't have duplicates going around fictionpress. Cause none of us wants to be banned for plagiarism.

Formulate your ideas with a friend, get a solid plot going, work out your plotholes, have fun!

Ok, I've got a character issue. There's a story I'm working on (on the side--yes, I know, I should finish before I start...) about a vampire named Falthee who was the Keeper of Records for the vampire royals when they existed. It's first person POV. She's not a fluff vampire, but she's also not a monster who eats anyone in her way. She sort of drifts through her eternity. This kind of vampire is sort of going with the cursed human theory, not the souless or uncontrollable mythos. Anyhow, on to my point: she's albino. Now, I'm not too afraid of her becoming a Sue. I'm sure albino vampires have been written for before, so I'm not under any illusion that it's some fantastically original idea.

What I am concerned with is the albino villain cliche. I don't want people to think I made her albino to make her more frightening. Or as an assumption that albinos are more vampire-like. However, I still have to address the fact that she, in life, shared a few similarities with vampires (sensitive to sun, pale, etc). My question is this: does it make her more of a cliche if I have her, early into the story, hunt down and kill a man who's chopping up human albinistic citizens of Tanzania (Africa) for spells/profit? I have the scene mostly written, but I want to know if it pushes too many buttons.

I'm not sure if my question makes much sense. But tell me what you think, regardless.

(Hurray, the first person to post! I came up with this idea ages ago as a thread, and Momo {the mod} convinced me to bring it here, so I'm glad it looks like it'll be used without my needing to groom it.)

Is she doing it as revenge, since she was hunted as well? I think that if you put the scene in without any grounds, then it would be a little cliche? I don't know if it'd be necessary. Was she hunted/bullied for being albino? And is the the type of person (personality-wise) that would want to take revenge?

And I don't think her being albino is very cliche, nor is it very villainous. I think that her role as Keeper of Records kinda helps support the fact that she is just a weird, kinda pale girl, who would obviously be sensitive to sun, because typically albinos are VERY sensitive to anything that will irritate their skin. They also are sensitive to light, as their eyes are blood red. I think what you need to do is do a bit more research about what kind of symptoms albinos have, and then sorta transition some of that to her as a vampire as well.

She wasn't hunted, but her condition was a big part of her life before vampirism. And a part of why she was chosen by her 'Queen' to become one of their kind. However, I haven't fully established that yet. I think I've hinted at it.... Here's the scene. She came to Lake Victoria to find a box of records she left buried on an island (this is a factual island). Anyhow, she finds that the island's population has changed dramatically since she last visited during WW1. It now consists of the largest population of albinistic people she's ever seen. It gets her mind rolling a bit. Makes her a bit warm and fuzzy to be around her own kind, and it leads to her concluding that she'd probably enjoy the company of her other people (vampires). Then she realizes why so many albinos are here--they're seeking refuge from superstitious zealots in Tanzania. So she decides to go hunt down one of these murderers and have a little fun with him.

I've done quite a bit of research on "Albino Island" and on albinistic Africans so far, so I think I've got that down, but it was the placement in the story that was bothering me.

I'm now thinking that I might move the Tanzania scene to another early chapter instead of the first chapter... Perhaps use the first chapter to introduce other main characters along with Falthee, and then go into the African-set scenes later. What do you think?

I think that if you did the first chapter well it could be very powerful. You could maybe mix in some memories of other vampires and her having a convo about the island within her journey there. It would be a good way to set up her personality and her characteristics, cause we can see a bit of this past side of her, and a bit of the vampire side of her.

But, if you're doing a lot of African-set scenes, then it might flow better with the rest of the story? I'd have to see how the first chapter flows, and then again in comparison with the second chapter to see how powerful of an intro it would be.

Ah, that gives me something to think on. I suppose I need to write out that chapter fully before I decide if its worthy as a beginning. Thanks for the advice. I'll probably be back later needing more help with Falthee...or with one of my other stories. My best friend/writing partner doesn't have the internet until the end of the month, and I have no idea when she'll have access to a phone again. :( So I'm in desperate need of this forum, hee.

No problem, hun, it's what we're here for! Come in and drop a line even when your friend gets back.

I am scared.

You shouldn't be. I'm nicer here than I am at the Lounge.

And it's a lot quieter here. You get your own booth and everything!

Hey, I am doing Medieval Fantasy that's all I know I am at a total ice block right now but I must be away for a few.

When you get back we can discuss stuff. :)

Shtuff? :D

Sorry, I was eating dinner.

So...Medieval Fantasy?

Decked out with the dragons and everything, eh?

Definitely at least one main dragon!

Negs, I'll have to come back tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

Hey, Ohm/Negs?

If you're around, I'm good to help you out now.

I had a story in mind that is just a romance. Yes, no supernaturals, just people. The problem is that. People can be well sort of boring. I wanted to do something with just humans to see if I could work on drama and some suspense. The story goes basically like this.....

An administrative assistant for a firm is married with two little kids, she's heavy set, and in a boring marriage. She and her husband just don't have that spark so they are just playing house sort of speak. Well she likes to bowl and while there she meets a younger man. She's 34 and he is 19. With out telling each other their age, she readily realizes he is a freshman in college due to the loud conversation he has with his friends and they start to notice how good they are in bowling. Well she is competitive and they see who can get the most strikes. Well fast forward from that, she gets into the dreamy 'I have a young guy that admires me mode' and only tells one friend who thinks its cute.

I have a tragedy that strikes that causes the family unrest and that is where I get stuck. There is a lot of discussion with her young beau about what to do in her life and they of course grow close, but I have too many avenues I could take. There are things in the young man's past that she is concerned about like his addictions and I sort of wanted it to be a thriller too. Ii know there are so many stories that say the same thing but romance is well romance. You can't get around too many plots that have already been done and the only thing that makes things stand out is the meticulous detailing that would show the entire story. I alos am not sure if I want to do it in his point of view or hers or both. Thoughts?.....

I'm here.....Read away....

So....

Where to begin?

XD

Read it and let me know what you think....

You want them to get together then?

What's he look like? What's his personality like?

I just don't think I quite get where you want to go with it.

Like.....34 and 19, you said, right?

Yes. I sort of don't like when people are so close in age, because well, I just don't like it. And he is just a very outward confident person. He's good looking but not drop jaw gorgeous. He can turn heads you know. Anyway, the age is supposed to be an obstacle of sorts and it is sort something I thought of when the show Cougar came out. I've never seen the show, but a colleague and I were discussing pros and cons and that's when Laurel came about. That is the ladies name and people of course call her Larry.

Whoops I hit enter too quickly, but as far as where I want to go with it, that is what I'm trying to work out. I have seen a lot of stories that go for the happy ending where she does not have like a fatal attraction, or they both get together and one dies making it easy to just say oh well that's what they get.....I just am not sure, and I know that being cliche would be hard to do in a way, but I want it to be really interesting so that is my own challenge.

Okay, and I think that's where I start to get weirded out, because I can't see a confident, good looking kid going for an older, large woman very readily.

The age thing will make things interesting, obviously, but I think that the attractiveness of the two characters is going to make people go, "Really? Seems unlikely."

Edit:

I don't think I quite understand what you mean with those two possibilities.

No, she's not tipping the scales. She's curvaceous, but not the skinny type which I see a lot of too. Her size will play a part but its not like she's a porker. She is only a size 9 or 10 which is not really big since I'm a size 7/8. When the whole thing starts up it is innocent enough since of course they are not looking at each other in a romantic way so therefore they are really open about a lot of stuff. He will find her to be interesting and well that's where I will have to work on making it an interesting read.

But the stuff within is really going to be situations that happen in life. Twists that are not just like out of the blue but as close to life experiences as possible. The bowling is the thing that get them to actually notice each other and that is where some of the humor is and the spark of romance begins.

Okay I know you are probably looking at the post above, but I'll put it to you this way. Modern day, people are into dating at different ages and many people, but it is still taboo for an older woman to seek a younger guy. In most cases it just doesn't happen. I just wanted to write a romance from the angle of the older woman or from the point of view of the younger guy. I mean both of them will be ostracized in someway and it is, to me, a story that I don't think I've read here. Of course I have not gone through all the romance stories, but I like romance but I like it not to follow the norm too much but be realistic.

Okay, when you said "heavy set" I was picturing like, size 16-18, and I was like "egh."

XD

What were you thinking for that big twist then? The big tradegy? Because depending, I can see it become something really interesting.

I want it all to be in her point of view.

Ideally that would be the most interesting.

I think that if you did first pov for her stuff, and third pov for him though, that would be good too.

Hmmm...I've never tried to write them both....That would be a great challenge too!! Yeah!

Oh and the tragedy is what I am stumbling over. I hate for it to look like a soap opera so I am trying to hammer out what would happen. I was leaning more towards job loss of one of them, or the death of a chile (Which I would hate but it would compound the drama and strain any all ready rocky situation), I was also thinking just a regular divorce with out a whole lot happening but things get crazy when it is discovered she's dating this young guy.............

Thoughts.............

I hope you are just replying......

I think that the death of a child would be a good one. Or if one of them gets really sick? IE a heart attack?

But a job loss would be an interesting lead in to a very intense scene as well.

So any one of those would be good. It depends on how you want to lead out of it, and into the ending, I guess.

Thank you much for that. What do you think overall so far. Should I scrap the idea or move forward? The fact I'm not done with the others stories is a headache but this one wants some attention too. I have the setting in a city because it gives a lot of people, and a small town, well, I've seen that way too much. Even though I'm not a true city slicker, I think I could possibly write that better.

I'm getting a little drowsy, but if I have anything else on this I'll let you know. I also did not want it to be really long so I have been trying to make sure it is not choppy. So that is also a challenge. See you when i can and I will be looking forward to that next chapter.

Good night luv and thanks for he help!

**Huggles**

I think it would be good for this kind of story, cause it could put her at a place where she's the ridicule of everyone in town.

Or if you put it in the city, then her emotions could make her feel more like she's alone.

But I think it's good, could have some good points to it. You just want to make sure you keep interest levels up, you know?

No problem! Even though I didn't think I was being much of a help, haha.

Good night!

Hey, Shay I pitched the idea to a IRL friend and she almost took my damn head off. I mean I could not include sex in the whole thing, but I like to write sex scenes. I mean the lady is married for crying out loud with two kids. There should be something, even if I don't go into explicit detail. I don't know. She said it would make the main character out to be cheap and send the wrong message. I figured its just a freaking story and if I was doing a special for teenage girls, I would make the characters teenagers. I'm not a teen so why would I try to write about high school all over again? So what do you think? I mean seriously, if they do get together in a sexual way which is possible but it is not the only thing that is in romance, why would that be such a hard pill to swallow? I mean how many freaking men are out here with their damn barbie doll, and trophy wives? Thoughts.......

Lol.

XD

Yeah.....no, you don't change a thing. I wouldn't agree with tons of sex scenes, or even very explicit ones. But I have read some very eloquent scenes, and I think that it would be a good addition to the story if you made the details a little bit more discreet.

It would add to the drama of the situation, definitely. Make it more real. I mean, she is a grown woman, she "has needs." XD

I don't know. It is your story right. I have a problem, in which I have to remind myself all the time to not to worry so much of what one person says. I always have to remind myself that, the reason I right is to express ME, not to please everyone else. Although, I grew up pleasing others, almost, so it became somewhat a habit. Can't say that people's opinions don't matter, they are the ones who support, critic, and help us become better writers and artists. I think the way you want to be like should be fine.

Yeah I have a plot idea and was wondering if it'd be good to pursue or not:

It's in romance and I think it might be called the Hair Affair. It's about a young American woman who goes to England to live with her grandmother once her mother and her have a final falling out. She opens a salon and spa called the Hair Affair and after she befriends her first client and is invited over for dinner, she meets her client's son and she's immeadiatly secretly head over heels.

Okay, hit me with your opinions, strike me with your ideas, and more importantly, don't hit me too hard.

Hey i88.

This could be super cute! What kind of other genres were you thinking? Drama? Humour? Is she setting up shop in some remote little county? This client, what is their relationship like? How old is the son compared to her?

It could be a neat, interesting twist on those other fun, semi-cliche loves stories. It'd be super popular if it's well executed, for sure!

I was thinking it could be a romance/humor. I was thinking the relationship is kind of like Elle and Paulette in legally blond. She and the son are the same age. She's setting up her shop nine blocks away from her Grandma's and rides her bike there because she doesn't know how to drive on the left side of the road.

I also had another idea for a possible story which I want to call Alone Together. It's about a young clinical psychologist that works in an insane asylum called the "Arms of Mercy" and gets a new patient who addresses herself as "we" and "us" instead of "I" and "me" because she has multiple personality disorder and hears voices and sees things. As the months go by, the psychologist grows attatched to the patient until murders and disappearances are happening all around the asylum and the psychologist thinks it's the patient. Again I ask: strike me with your opinions, lash me with your questions, don't hit me on the head because everything gets all fuzzy.

I think that it might be better to start one before you start another. Not that I'm one to talk.

XD

But I like this hair salon idea. Could be super cute. What kind of twists would you throw in there? And why is the dad being her client such a big deal? To add some tension to the story, you're going to have to get a solid idea about what any issues with their relationship might be.

Okay, stop me if you've heard this before...

Female wetwork operative is sent to take care of a ballet dancer - I'm thinking the opening is a couple of set pieces to show was a badass is and also demonstrate her contradictory faith in God - only things don't go according to plan & the hitter ends up dead with her spirit connected to the dancer she was sent to kill...of course, people are still after the dancer (for some reason that will become apparent later on)...

Now am I recycling something I've seen over the years???

Hey UK, I don't think I quite understand, because of fragmented sentences and lack of spellcheck there.

So, a female network operative....is sent to kill a ballet dancer. When you say "set pieces to show was a badass is and also demonstrate her contradictory faith in God" what do you mean? And then the network operative ends up haunting said ballet dancer?

YEP, DEFINITELY haven't heard anything like this before, so you're in the green from my opinion.

Yeah - you can tell I was in a hurry to get that down the other night before going to bed!!! Stupid brain...

Okay - here are my more considered thoughts:

The opening of the story will revolve around the assassin, I've got two set pieces in mind to highlight how effective she is and that she's quite a cold person. Then switch to her attending confession - which she views as a way of wiping the slate clean. Not sure if there should be some family connection to the priest she confesses to at this point - brother, cousin, something like that.

The assassin is then given the "simple" task of removing the ballet dancer - I'm thinking there's some sort of warning here to someone in her family - and things don't go according to plan. Of course, the point then is that there could still be folks after the dancer, and the assassin is effectively stuck with her...

That's what I've got so far - it's all peachy up to that point... :)

That sounds sweet. I think it'd add a neat little twist if the priest was related to her.....but at the same time, do you think she'd be okay with telling her own family about her escapades?

How would the assassin die?

Yeah, go for it, it sounds pretty cool

I have a couple of ideas as to how the assassin will buy the farm...however I don't want to give the game away! :)

Time to engage the little grey cells...thanks!

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