Wish: Welcome to the Battle City - aka MeteorInfinity Forum

Yeah! this is sooo nice! I'll post my character bio asap! Did anyone figure out who's doing the rest of the 3rd chapter?

#2 Oct 17th 2006, 7:28pm

You know, this is pretty cool. I'll post my profile for Ren sooner or later. Honestly, I never even wrote one for him. Didn't plan on ever doing one either. I just made it up as I went along, then memorized it. I'll type it out eventually.

Catch you later.

- Snake Eyes of aka Meteor-Infinity

#3 Oct 18th 2006, 3:35pm

Yeah, I gotta get my bios and junk up too. I'm too busy and I'm having problems logging in on my laptop.

#4 Oct 18th 2006, 5:00pm

Alright, first geeky fanboy post...excellent beginning, can't wait for the rest of it. Dice, are you still working on Raining Blows? It looked insane, but haven't seen any updates.

#5 Oct 18th 2006, 5:24pm

A fanboy post? Well, its good to know we have fans.

Really, no I haven't been working on it. I've been flooded with story ideas to the point that I completely forgot about Raining Blows. Thanks for reminding me that it exists. I always liked that story better than anything else I've written. I'll see about posting a chapter for it soon.

#6 Oct 19th 2006, 4:16am

You're thinkin' about updating RB cool! I was planning to ask you about that. I swear I hate writer's block, it's so damned annoying. *sighs*

#7 Oct 19th 2006, 2:42pm

Shiranui Akatsuki

I dunno about this, but maybe you guys should coordinate more efficiently or something...I mean it took ages to post the 2nd chap up. Well, I understand that you guys are trying your best to work together and things may go out of plan, but I hope it won't take too long to post the next chapter up. We're all dying to read 'em and it kills us if you guys take too long to update.

#8 Oct 20th 2006, 3:47am

Writers Block doesn't happen to me often. Its just I had to put Raining Blows to the side for a while. Technical difficulties and whatnot. Its a long story. I think I'll have the next chapter of Strike Me Down up soon too.

I think.

By the way, Neko... did you really post chapter 19 three times, or am I going nuts?

#9 Oct 20th 2006, 7:08am

WyrdWolf

Yeah, Tobias is right. How is the next chapter coming along, anyway, and who are the writers? I know Ragnarok is one, but isn't there another?

aka Lupine

#10 Oct 20th 2006, 11:31pm

Yeah, I noticed that Chapter 19 of the Awakening has been a multi post. I wish the next would come already.

#11 Oct 24th 2006, 9:50am

Yeah I posted chapter 19 three times cause I found something wrong each time and my internet was down. I just posted it now.

#12 Oct 28th 2006, 6:58pm

SympleSymon

Really good so far, guys...can't wait for the tournament to really begin, and for Karasu to join the fray!

#13 Nov 01st 2006, 2:30am

YJanZ-Providence

ehee... Gomenasaiiii... at least for november, most member activity, I guess, would be on hiatus. NaNoWriMo 06 has finally begun, and I think several of the members are participating. felicia13 and Ragnarok Element's, the volunteer writers of Wish ch3, (i think) are participating the contest, plus me. So... I'm not sure if anyone would be active this november, but, if any of the members are willing to volunteer to write chapters of aka MI's story, just ask.

See ya! NaNoWriMo story project: Citizen Lenin, coming december 06 to fictionpress!

P.S: Dice, where are youuuuu? (lol)

#14 Nov 01st 2006, 6:52am

I'd volunteer, but I don't really think it would work. I mean, I've got BSR out of the way, and that's all I was worried about. I really don't care about finishing Subject One. But I won't drop it. I'll gladly write the next chap, but I can't really be original. If you gave me like a little planner or told me what to write, I'll do that. But I really didn't wanna take part of the creative end on it. I don't really consider myself as all that good of a writer in this group. You guys are way better than me.

#15 Nov 01st 2006, 4:20pm

I'm back, Yjan. No worries.

Hey, remember that computer virus I told you about? Well, it ate at my computer like a cat in a fish tank. I couldn't get online or anything. I'm not even sure if its gone now, even though I had someone try to get rid of it. My comp is still running slow, but I'm back online now.

Anyway, I'd write the next chapter of Wish, but I can't remember a thing about anyone's characters. I barely even remember their names. Dainty and Sora Blink are the only ones I can think of (lol). There's no way I could keep them in character.

And Darket, I don't know what you're talking about. Everybody knows you're a heck of a writer. Don't strike yourself down.

#16 Nov 07th 2006, 2:52pm

SympleSymon

*just looked at his 'Joined' date compared to everyone elses* Blech...if I hadn't been off this site for a loooong time, I'd feel old XD

Dice, good luck with Wish...it's damn-near impossible to keep all the characters exactly as their creators would have them, as everyone has written them with different styles, intentions, backstories, etc. The best I could do in that situation is think 'what is THIS character hoping to acchieve?' everytime you bring in a new guy...other than that, it's up to you.

I'll have a look at the other AKA MI stories and see if there's anything I feel I can handle...I just don't want to ruin any of them before they have a chance to grow.

#17 Nov 08th 2006, 2:12am

YJanZ-Providence

I'm glad to say that Wish ch3 has been sent to me! Kudos to Ragnarok Element's for making the whole thing. There are some spots to edit, but I don't think they're that many. But with me writing my nanowrimo novel, the edit would finish in about a week.

In another note, in december, I'll start posting once again, and I'll finally update fictionpress high! There's also a good chance that my 108 chapter epic Twilight Carnival will be posted in aka Meteor-Infinity.

See ya!

p.s: aka MI members, if you have an idea for a story to post in aka MI, crossover or not, just send me an email, kay?

aka Mitternacht

#18 Nov 09th 2006, 3:00am

I'm hating to say this, but my outlook, I can't keep with Meteor Infinity. I haven't really done anything here, it's like how it was when I was in Limitbreaker and I've gotta get ready to hit the road. So anyways, good run, I'm out, I'll see you all around.

Peace, Love, Triangle

Darket

#19 Nov 09th 2006, 5:45pm

You'll be missed, man. Good luck in whatever you do.

#20 Nov 09th 2006, 5:58pm

I noticed something, what actually happened to everyone we knew back when review counts were high? We already do know Darket has taken the hike and probably writing his novel now, but, how about everyone else? Yjanz-Providence, Neko Youkai, Ragnarok Element, and even Melissa Norvell? I do know Dice is still hanging around, in fact I joined his group. Was it due to examinations occuring around this time of the year? I do know I'll be unavailable in March for my crunch time and exams.

Also, things have been eeriely silent these days. Hope you guys did not give up on writing or of that sort.

#21 Jan 20th 2007, 4:09am

YJanZ-Providence

lol, I remember the days when the review count was high... I got 14 reviews in one of my stories in the span of eight hours after it was posted. Good times... n_-. The manga section really seems less lively than it was before. If I could remember, the decline in review counts for several writers came when fp was updated.

Anyhoo, I'm not sure about the rest, but I'm still alive and busy with fp. I'm just writing down all the story ideas that's been in my mind for a long time before I start updating (notice that my current stories are in chapter 1?). There's also the mountain of anime dvd's I bought, which keeps me busy a lot.

I'm not giving up writing, just took a little break which ended in my birthday. I'm going to return to posting stories by next week, same with the reading and reviewing.

hm, Melissa Norvell... she was a good writer, don't know why she stopped all of a sudden. She had one of the est stories at that time.

#22 Jan 20th 2007, 6:16am

yeah... Anyway, I'll still be sticking with your story, Angel's Halo. I don't know why, but I seem to be stuck to that story of yours these days. Also, I've made a group story in Dice Darwin's UC. Yep, Sasaki Senior High School 2! is no longer my story, instead, it's a group's! They consist of One-shots, so you could participate without worrying about continuations. XD. Anyway, do drop by and review some of my stories once in a while.

#23 Jan 20th 2007, 6:48am

For what it's worth, i'm not done either, working on something i'm trying to get published.

#24 Jan 20th 2007, 11:49am

I've only been on this site for about half a year, and I already feel like some old corpse that just dug itself up. I guess a two-month writers block can do that.

Yeah, the manga section lost its spark when this site changed. No, specifically, it lost its spark when update alerts shutdown. That's when it happened. We lost touch with our readers, and the forums drew their attention everywhere else. Add in the fact that a lot of people vanished from this site altogether, and we have a nearly dead section on our hands.

But you know, I think the new writers might help bring it back. For every old writer that left, there seems to be a new one with fresh ideas. If we help them, they'll be just as good -- if not better -- than we were back in those days. We just have to connect with them the way we've done with each other.

I gotta stop before I fall too deep into "Wiseman Dice" mode. So good luck to you, ByFyreLyte, and be sure to let me know how things go. If you get published, I'll be the first to buy your story.

#25 Jan 20th 2007, 1:38pm

Yeah, lucky I managed to find one new talent of sorts; Shang. His stories are really great, and has about the same oomph Darket possessed, mixing it with fantasy. He was one of the two writers who managed to get me interested in fantasy based stories. :P

#26 Jan 20th 2007, 5:50pm

I agree. Shang is pretty good. I gave him quite a bit of CC and he seemed to appreciate it, so I really think highly of him. You'd be suprised how many people don't appreciate my honesty.

And speaking of Darket's oomph, I think I might make an action story like that -- in my own smooth style, of course. I just need to work out some technical issues.

Who's the other fantasy writer you like?

#27 Jan 20th 2007, 7:47pm

That would be my old online colleague of mine; wolfblood82, formerly rangerboi. The Elven Chronicles from his profile was my favourite, and has very top-notch storyline. I bet you would even like his stories as well. LOTR-class fantasy, who would not love it? The descriptions he uses in his stories makes mine look sub-par. XD

I just realised, I have yet to review his latest chapter!

Also, you may want to have a look at Michael T.D. as well. His works are great as well.

#28 Jan 20th 2007, 8:25pm . Edited Jan 20th 2007, 8:27pm

I usually tend to avoid most fantasy stories, since they usually end up boring, but I did enjoy reading LOTR. So I'll check out those two you've suggested.

#29 Jan 20th 2007, 9:17pm

Whoa man, I've just realized that I've been gone for the longest time, School along with sports and a required two-hour study time can really kill you on the weekdays, along with meets that literaly suck the life outta you. Yeah, my life been pretty boring lately, I remember the good time I had when I first joined this site, it was awesome, especially when my writing improved at the Manga Section was in its Golden Days. I have come bat, and with a 40 day break from work and sports to write, I'm goona try to bring back the spark of the Manga section, letsee how this goes...

Well I am sorry for being gone so long, but it seems that almost all of the writers I used to know have been dropping out like flies in the winter, even Felicia seems to be slowing down, and she had some good stories...

Well I hope the Manga section come back to life and to the members of Meteor, its good to be back, lets write some good ones.

-The Young Writer, Ragnarok Elements

#30 Feb 21st 2007, 11:29am

*Stabs Ragnarok with stick*

Well, out of everyone here, I'm the only one still going strong whereas the other seemed to have been leaning off the window. Though crunch time for me is looming near, I'm still writing. Talk about devotion, huh? Also, looks like I'm becoming the caretaker of Dice's Underground Constellation till Sakka resumes maintaining it. Man... I'm starting to feel like an old fart already.

#31 Feb 21st 2007, 2:55pm

Hmm... well it is true that some of my stories are like going down the drain. But now I can write more, and hopefully have more time on the computer, seeing as my family jumps on it everytime its open... And why exactly was I stabbed with a stick for anyway? Yeah, I do have a lot of reviews to catch up on anyway, sorry Outlaw02, I'll try to review your stories ASAP.

Hmmm... well, I'm coming back strong and I'll try to make thins up tto everybody, I just need to know what you guys main stories.

-The Young Writer, Ragnarok Elements

#32 Feb 21st 2007, 10:23pm

i'm still here...for what it's worth...which is nothing...lol

#33 Feb 26th 2007, 5:06pm

well I guess I gotta say I'm dissapointed in myself. i didn't know I was that much of an influence. I wanna formally apologize to tyhe crew of Aka Meteor Infinity and the many great writers of Fictionpress. I left many projects unfinished and many which are in production hell and may never be done. But in this past year of hiatus I didn't write, I in fact gave up on it for a bit, I didn't write a novel, and instead I sat at home for three months, I tried to kill myself a few times, and I turned into a total junky. I'm keeping a steady jobn, my Pc is broken, and I sneak on. Chances are I may not be putting anymore stories up on Fp for months or possibly never. BUt some good news, I have quit smoking, I don't do drugs (well I smoke weed every now and then (and I smoked a lot of Opium while writing BSR)), I have a job, I've quit my suicidal ways, I lost over 85 pounds since last august and that made me much thinner. I did just get otu of a bad relationship and I wanna personally thank Jena for ** my writing up and ruining my life. I wanna thank all of the people on FP that supported me through the good times and the bad. Things I do hope to get better. I've been unable to work on One Night Stand which Dice Darwin recently gave to me, but I do wanna continue this project. I still plan on finishing Krist (And I've got so many ideas. it's a story that brings me to tears when I think it through and through) but I do plan on doing some rewriting. Subject One will be finished and I hope to get it done (If possible) before June 3rd because it's taken over a year to complete. But so many know, my jump drive containing many unfinished works and stories that I believe would've made BSR look like ** has gone missigna nd I don't know what i'm planning. So basically I've been **. It's better to burn out than tpo fade away tho. I'm happy to say I burnt out. I don't really wanna leave FP, I've had many good memories here, and I've made many friends. I thank you all for supporting me. I love you all like family, keep writing.

Peace, Love, Triangle

~Darket

#34 May 08th 2007, 5:05pm

Hey there,

That's quite a history you went through when you were away. No wonder I was constantly kept told not to get into a relationship until I'm ready for it. Anyway, yes, you were the booster here in FP, hence without your presence it is a killer missing key that led here to disarray. Dice Darwin's presence did hold onto that last ditch boost before he departed for writing a proper novel to publish, though he does pop in here now and then. I'm very much taking my time doing the writing, since now I have to deal 5 special projects this year. Yes, 5 projects, all of which are not easy to do. One being the Oil skimmer, a game machine, a road show, a solar tracker, and Energy saver.

However, thats not the excuse for me to leave FP behind, and I never will until my National Service where I'll be absent for at least 3 years.

#35 May 09th 2007, 6:36am

Since my stepdad went off to war, I'm abvle to get on my mom's pc more, so I'm hopefully plannign to really dish out some stories soon. Dude, relationships are good for you. YOu should go for it. Love is everything, love is all you need. I didn't handle the breakup well because Jena was the one girl I thought meant everything to me and was someone i culd spend my life with, but I was wrong. I am going in and out of them now. I was dating this black chick named Jackie for a few weeks, but she's gone now. It sucks, I know. I'm on Youtube and myspace, everybody take note in that. I'm posting videos regularly on youtube. And to all those wondering, no I'm not emo, and I am in person as you see me on here, lol.

#36 May 10th 2007, 7:51am

By the end of this week I will start writing my next story. I was gonna start rewriting Dice Darwin's "One Night Stand", but I wanna do something original and I believe i should take some time to work out a plot for One Night Stand. It's a good story, I just gotta think of a way to tell it. My next story to be hitting FP is not quite clear. i've got an idea to either do X-Drive (It was a story I hand wrote and was still writing before I started with teh Drifter), i was thinking about doing Robot Savior because Bullets Over Flowers (if that's still his name) was taking too long with his version and I wanted to do one more in the groove of the original plot, or I could try something very reminicent to BSR or Subject One. So everybody knows, Krist is still being written. It is on Hiatus for the time being, and for that I'm sorry, but I don't think many were reading it anyways, so does it matter? lol. Peace

#37 May 10th 2007, 6:49pm

Yeah, this is Dice.

Darket man, I think you'll be okay. Its messed up, the stuff you went through, but you're still here and thats what counts. So stay stong. And if your writing style isn't what it used to be, you're not alone. Just write when you can, and don't worry about the quality. That's what editing is for.

Outlaw, I'm suprised you're still around. Maybe I shouldn't be. I think you like this site more than I ever did. Anyway, good luck on your projects. I'm sure you'll do fine.

I remember the old days, when I used to kinda look up you two as the best of the manga section. You two and Bullets over Flowers (Planet Axis?). It was cool, especially since I was learning on the fly.

And whatever happened to aka MI anyway? I remember when we used to make some good stories. I think the collaborating thing didn't work well, but we could've still did something.

Life has been hectic for me, and haven't had as much time to write. My writing style isn't on the level that it was. I need to get back into this, and we used to have good times here, so I'm gonna start posting here again. I set out to bring life to the manga section, and I never accomplished that goal. So I'm gonna give it one last go.

Anybody up for making one last writing group? Nothing complicated and no collaborations, just us posting stories under one account. It could be entertaining, and we've all pretty much lost our fanbase under our solo accounts anyway.

#38 May 11th 2007, 7:38am

Hey, I'm loyal to Fictionpress until the right time for me to move on from here. And while you were busy, Dice, Shattered Entity has hit 20 chapters, just to give you a heads up. Quite an achievement considering how much of a controversy the story started out before it mellowed down. And well, just to rub my projects in, the 6th one just came in as well. Oh boy...

#39 May 11th 2007, 9:31am

i'm game if enough people are in

#40 May 11th 2007, 2:19pm

Uh... Yeah, you probably don't remember me by now, but remember Ragnarok Elements? That jerk who made tons of empty promises? Yeah thats me.

Hey Darket, I haven't heard from you in a while.

Wow... yeah, I was the one that reviewed your stories for a bit before I stopped writin on this site, entirely actually. The things you have been through are really rough, but according to you, you've become a new man, good for you to overcome all those hardships. I'm sorry for making this reply to you so short after I've been gone for so long, but yeah... I'll be the first review you new stories as I finish up the very first chapter of my story. Yeah... lets just hope this not another empty promise.

Outlaw02... I'm glad to see you're still going strong.

Yeah... I remember that I made tone of promises to you to review, but I never kept them. I know saying sorry wont do heal that much either. I will review your stories though, I just hope this isn't another one of those empty promises that are gonna haunt me... But yeah, I really do hope that I will be able to review your current stories. I know I'm behind the times on FP and all, but are you still doing Tokyo Battalions? Yeah, that was one of my favorties.

Dice... Heh, yeah, remember me? The one who was one of yyour biggest fans but didn't show it that much? And the one who's writing style you used to make oneof you stories? Yeah, thats me.

I'm glad to see thats you're coming back to FP to restore your writing skills. The main reason I left FP for a while was to improve my writing, my current works were jokes compared to the others of MI, especially You, Yjanz, Outlaw02, and Felicia. Yeah... thats probably a reason why I left, my writing weren't good enough. I hope you update soon so I can review.

Yeah... this is a promise I intend to keep: To keep writing and keep reviewing. My stories are gonna be better, if they aren't... I'll still write.

A new name and a new beginning. I just hope the path this time isn't so short...

#41 May 12th 2007, 12:25am

Well, part 1 of Tokyo Battalions (simply called "Tokyo Battalions") is already complete while its sequel, "Tokyo Battalions: Illusion" is underway. the prequel titled TB:1939 will be the last one to go as its contains the most answers to the mystery embedded in the series. Only problem is that I have to deal with 5 school projects, and the sixth one is coming up hard.

#42 May 12th 2007, 1:54am

Mice Carwin

I changed accounts, but kept the name. This account feels fresher somehow. Maybe its a psychological thing. The Ghost of Manga's Past seemed like a fitting final name for the old account.

Anyway, ByFyreLyte: Man, you've got skills. Its good to see you're around too. I'll work on getting some more people in on this group thing. If it doesn't work out, I'll just start a C2 for all of us. That might be easier anyway.

Durandel: I have no clue what your name means, but it looks kinda cool. I remember you. You were never a bad writer to me. I've seen far worse than how you used to write, and you kept on improving. So don't sweat it. Overall, just remember that there's far more important things in life than this site. Don't let anything here get you down, because its not that serious.

And Outlaw, you do really have a knack for slipping in shameless advertisements. I can't help but to laugh at that. I'll get to Shattered Entity. Don't worry about it.

#43 May 12th 2007, 7:20am

Well, let's just say that when I type, I don't really think ahead. That's one of my flaws there, and even cost some of my friendships as of late. :P

#44 May 12th 2007, 7:28am

Well I've just begun working on my next story. It's a little bit of a change compared to what I've normally been doing. I'm going to post my next story some time next week since now my PC has been fixed and I can type normally. If the story ends up being bad (and I can garunteed you it won't be better than BSR, that saying if it ends up beign good) I apologize, But I tried. THe story is an action story, it will be a change from my normal stuff, but I do promise gory scenes, violence, romance, and all that good stuff that you normally get out of my stories. I just hope people read it. And once again I apologize for stepping away from FP for so long

#45 May 14th 2007, 1:02pm

Um, I'm actually halfway done with the first chap on the new story. I normally don't do this, but would anybody be willing to proofread the first chap for me and make some suggestions with the flow of the story? I wanna make sure I pace it right. The stroy has no name yet, and it's the first story in a while I've written while NOT under the influence of drugs

#46 May 14th 2007, 6:31pm

Um... I know this sounds weird, but can you guys take a look at this? This is a sample of the first vhapter and I was wondering if it was going okay...

Chapter 1

The hall echoed softly as my foot tapped against the floor. The sun shone though the open balconies within the hall, splashing its orange glow over the brilliant white marble. I lifted my head and wiped some of the sweat from it, it wasn’t because of nervousness, and it wasn’t because of my impatience, the heat was the problem. Though the marble was white, and was supposed to reflect the sunlight away, the heat still swelled in the air, leaving a thick and lasting feeling of humidity lurking in the air. I flicked some of my slightly spiky white hair from my head, and rub my golden eyes as I waited, growing tired.

I lifted my hand and emitted a gold aura from it, testing to see that my powers were working properly. The gold aura dissipated as I put my hand down. I waved my hand and created a force field in the formation of many clear hexagons as a wall directly in front of the door. I started to wait again. The door went to splinters in less than a few seconds afterwards. I put down the field and ran into the cloud of dust and smoke, tackling about three men in mid-air. I did a roll as I hit the grassy floor of the castle courtyard, with the three landing on the ground with a hard thud. As I turned around to view my attackers, one was already charging at me.

The attacker swung his blade down upon me only for his blade to shatter as a wall of gold light intercepted the blade. I kicked the assailant in the chin, sending him sprawling through the air. During his downfall, I leapt near him and knocked down faster with wild downward smash. The man rebounded of the ground and flopped in the air again. I grabbed his foot and threw him at his other two companions, who were already charging at me. As the men collided, I lifted my hand and fired a gold blast at them. The attack succeeded and threw the men further back and a flash of gold light. Two out of the three barely got up.

The men drew their blades and ran at me again; apparently ignorant of the fact of what just happened. I lifted my hand as gold rings made of runes gather around my arm. The rings gathered my hand and mixed into a gold orb. A white blade shot out of the orb. I grasped it and swung it in a wide arc.

My blade cleaved my assailants’ blades in two and sent a shockwave that blasted them back. I pulled the blade back and rested it on my shoulder.

“Another easy job…” I commented.

As I went to gather the unconscious men a large group of knights barged into the courtyard from the entrance behind me. I looked around to actually see the extent of the damaged I caused. It was really pretty. The ground was littered with gray rubble, broken crystal and slightly molten gold. Statues were smashed from the explosion of rubble when the explosion ripped through the area. To put it simply, the place was in shambles, in a really bad sense too.

“Dammit.”

In a matter of minutes, I was placed in front of the king himself, and boy was he ugly. He was a glutton to be precise, being a rather corn fed person, you’d wonder if his heart would stop at any second. I was actually glad that the kind had no heir and no queen, for I wouldn’t think of the horrible things that would go on to make an heir. The thought makes me shiver already. The king’s bald head was covered with a beautifully decorated crown; at least, it would have been if it wasn’t on a glutton king’s head. A large red robe also did a poor job of trying to at least hide the fat; it made it worse in reality. Of course, this had nothing to do with the present situation.

“YOU DARE TO DESTROY MY TREASURE ROOM?!?” The king roared, with a pretty squeaky voice, kind of an oxymoron huh?

“Actually… that wasn-“ I started.

“YOU DARE SPEAK SO RUDELY TO THE KING?!?!” One of his guards roar, everyone must be having a pretty bad day or something, because they sure were yelling a lot.

“Okay, first of all, who’s being rude? According to me the person who interrupts some one in the middle of speech is the actual rude one. Plus, why in the world would I want to show respect to a glutton king that does all but, good choices for his kingdom, pretty obvious on why he deserves no praise huh?”

The guard shut up. The king was a different story.

“HOW DARE-“ The king started, but stopped, gagging and clutching his chest.

“I was wondering when that was gonna happen, it was getting weird that I didn’t see that,” I commented.

“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you-“ He started again, but stopped in chest pain.

“Man you should stay away from that steak, it could really load up on those pounds, oh, wait, too late.”

“E-enough! T-to t-the d-d-d-d-d-dungeon!”

I bet at this point you’d be wondering on how exactly I got here, right? Of course, that would really fill in the giant gap of plot, wouldn’t it? Well it actually started about a few months ago…

Well? How was it? I just can't decide what genre to put this one in, can you guy help me decide. Oh, Darket, I've decided to make the character you gave me long ago one of the charaters rivals, the data for it got deleted so I wondering if you could give me a description of him again. All other members of Meteor are welcome to suggest charaters as well.

Durandel

#47 May 16th 2007, 1:15pm

Well, being on a time-constraint, I'll take a look on the glaring points you could, or should have noticed from the start. Well, my attitude has changed ever since I hit second year of Technical School, so yeah, I may get a bit stern here and there. (What can I do with 6 country-wide projects under my belt?)

First things first, you may want to take note that using words like "wasn't" in the first paragraph is not applicable when it comes to description writing. In a description, you are to actually spell out the whole thing, and not using short forms, meaning "was not" is very much suited to the sentences. "wasn't" and the like such as "I'll", 'We'll" and so on is only applicable when a character is speaking. Also, it shows a character's way of speaking or even slang. However, there are exceptions to it. "The King's", or "Assailants' weapons" and the like are eligible as it does not refer to themselves, but instead, their linkage to something else like their own daughter, or treasures and the like. Many times I have read (Do note that I did not type "I've" there) the stories here in FP, and it seems that they have the wrong concept between description and conversational writing. "Dammit" (Damn it) is all right as it tells the reader that the character speaks in slang.

Another hit is the way you picture a yell or scream. Yes, I used to be guilty of it, but after all the fuss between a colleague of mine and a teacher, I came with a decision. SPEAKING THIS WAY IN A CONVERSATIONAL SENTENCE IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. Instead Using Italics or stating that a person was yelling in that sentence works better. Using caps will only make the reader think that you are being disrespectful to the readers, and the English language itself. Trust me, I got hell of a yelling from both my colleague and teacher.

Finally, as for the stuttering. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-It i-i-i-i-i-i-i-is not a g-g-g-g-g-g-good idea t-t-t-t-t-t-to do so as w-w-w-w-w-w-well. This brings up only angered (Or redundant) suspense to the readers. However, should you insist on doing so, "W-who the," , "How am I supposed t-to do?" repeating the word once works better. It clearly shows that the character is stuttering, and the reader may picture out the rest of the sentence that the character is stuttering throughout the sentence.

Well, other than that, I do not see glaring flaws except for the killer three stated. Well, I got to go off now. See you.

#48 May 16th 2007, 6:09pm

Well the "I-i-i-i-i-i" thing seems like a problem, I mean I used to do it too. Well Durandel I liked it, I dunno what to put it in. YOu remind me of me when I was a lot younger and writing. BUt I sucked when I was little, you don't. I vaguely remember that character, I just cannot remember it.I mean sure it's somewhere out there, but I don't know. I can't rmeember it. I sent that idea in over a year ago, and I've done lots of crazy ** since then. Um, also the new stroy i was planning has been cancelled because I don't think it was well thought out. It was more of a "OH, this would seem cool" and then I said, "Naw, this sucks." SO the mecha story I was planning is just in the ** right now. It was going to be set some couple thouseand years after BSR. I am going to put full focus on Krist and Subject One now. Krist still has a very promising story to me, and Subject One just needs to be finished because I've come way too far into it to quit. The Drifter sequel (I'm actually taking most of the plot for it and incorporating it into Krist) and Prequel (but do quote me, this prequel WILL be made) planned also seems to be in limbo as well.

Hyper War is not going to see the light of day because it just doesn't seem like something I'd like. I've gotta get ready for work now, and I've got a date tomorrow, wish me luck.

Peace, Love, Triangle

-Darket

#49 May 17th 2007, 11:17am