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![]() hiya, i'm softreality :) i just made a new account (suupafly) for stories, because softreality is for poetry. ANYWAYS, i've been working ** a littl scifi project of mine. i entered the prologue in a short story contest in my province, so i'm waiting to hear back from that (&crossing fingers i win, ehe). but i'd absolutely LOVE some feedback on my story Heartbeat. description? : claude bleakly tells her story of analasia, and how the events that destroyed her city took place. it's just the prologue, so i'll be posting more if i don't win? (& if i win, i hope i go jk rowling with it ;) aha). i'd just like some constructive critism, what people think, likes and dislikes, etc :) THANKS! :) 5/01/2009 #31 |
![]() I have my (currently only) story, Veritas Lux Mea. It's a horror story but has heavy sci fi aspects -- the setting is a space ship, after all. I'm just starting off and I'd love to have some constructive feedback for it. (: http://www.fictionpress.com/secure/story/story_preview.php?storyid=2700061&chapter=1 8/02/2009 #32 |
![]() Plugs, eh? Why not -- could be fun. WARSCAPE, Book I: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2580363/1/ It's done and waiting for some critical eye to peruse it. WARSCAPE, Book II: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2677014/1/ In-progress, and on hiatus as I try to get some more written. 9/25/2009 #33 |
![]() I only count this as a shameless plug BECAUSE I never in a million years thought that "Forgotten Ties" would A) Get as far as it has in revision and B) ever get RECOGNIZED!! O_o Forgotten Ties Has been nominated for the La Campanella Awards in the science fiction category... I was blown away when I received the PM stating that FT had been nominated If you've read FT and like it please Google the site and and vote for the story(doggone the inability to get external links up here!!). I'm not even sure what I'll get if I win...but hell it's an honor to get nominated! 10/25/2009 #34 |
![]() Forgotten Ties has completed it's run! WOOTS! So now on to the "sequel" This story picks up pretty much where Forgotten Ties left off, only with Steve's story. He returns to Kuala Lumpur in order to return to tracking the Yakuza leader Takahira - the man responsible for the torture that led to Steve losing his eyes and voice - more of his humanity to cybernetics. He finds that his revenge plot leads to trouble with the Police, when Takahira frames him for a murder he didn't commit. On top of it all he meets this girl - and his world will never be the same again... 1/06/2010 #35 |
![]() Sweet! A place for people to find my stories! I've got three I'd like some feedback on. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2771433/1/Dusk This one's called Dusk, it's about a group of kids who've been genetically modified to have ESP. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2771402/1/A_Church_Is_Burning This one's A Church Is Burning, it's about some of the human army trapped in a church by a race of people called the Ka'doran with no escape. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2771143/1/The_Kestrel This one, The Kestrel, is my personal favourite. It's about a terraforming group who's crew is suddenly afflicted by strange symptoms, and my main character realises that she's in command of a ship on a hostile planet and the head of her company has been lying to her. It'd be really great if I could get some feedback on these stories, have them picked to pieces, shamelessly abuse them, whatever. ~Seka~ 2/03/2010 #36 |
![]() Welcome Seka-Chan, and thanks for throwing your links up there for us to peruse! 2/05/2010 #37 |
![]() I have a story that I am wanting to publish on here for feedback, but I haven't gotten any reviews yet. Please review it and give me some constructive criticism. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2752966/1/The_Mystery_of_Oliver_King 2/16/2010 #38 |
![]() I have been working on this story for a while and just started posting it here to try to get more of an audience and hopefully some constructive criticism. I'll be updating a chapter or two a day until I catch up with the stuff I've already written. It's called "Tea Boy." http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2784641/1 3/12/2010 #39 |
![]() This story is about robots, the nature of life, right and wrong, and other such philosophies. It's undergoing severe editing right now, but there's still the two chapters I have up. Long story short, two machines go to sleep after their kind are defeated in a war, expecting to wake up in a few thousand years. Those few thousand turn into a few hundred thousand (extremely durable robots, right?), and they wake up separated by 40,000 light years, give or take. What follows is their journey, along with a few other characters point's of view thrown in for different takes on things. No one has asked for anything beyond the prologue and first chapter yet, so that's all that's up right now. If anyone wants, I can add more. Things also get a bit convoluted as the story goes on, things show up conveniently in massive cosmological coincidences: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2743122/1/A_Fading_Light 3/28/2010 #40 |
![]() Heck yeah, here's my plug. Firstly, I'd like to be clear that while this story is rated T, It is borderline M, though not for crude(aka, sex, violence) reasons. I may move it to M in the future. Here's a summary of the story so far: Arturo Eumenes has been convicted of a grave crime, possibly on falsified charges. The public roars for blood, in outrage. The rest is only ~1,400 words at this point. I'll update the summary when I reach 10k. Please read, and if you like/strongly dislike, review. I'd apprecciate it! Thanks for your time. Story Link: Link! 4/04/2010 #41 |
![]() Yay! Shameless Plugging! Nothing quite like it. Okay well, I have too accounts. One is a personal and the other is a joint account. I hope that's okay. Dei story 1: Darkness Before Dawn Act I: Sunset Summary: On a planet known by the inhabitants as Mayna, a war is about to break out. But with the promise that it shall be prevented, a young heir ingnores the warnings as the prolude to a nasty nightmare is played out. Excert: Tal giggled quietly and he heard her move away from him by only the whoosh of cold air that replaced her warm presence. He relayed the message that she had given him a moment too late. The loud thud and the feel of grasping, falling hands slamming into his shoulders and knocking him off balance and sending them both tumbling. The unfortunate Mannkin squawked indignantly as he fell. Bridge re-caught his balance and tried to catch the falling Mannkin. Said Mannkin grabbed onto his arm as the slid down the sharp incline and once again sent Bridge tumbling forward. Just as he thought he was going to start falling uncontrollable, someone caught him from behind and steadied them both. "You okay?" "Spiker!" Offically, thoroughly flustered and being pulled by his arms one way and his hips the other, he growled as the same sister that had caused his belated warning was the same sister that stopped him from a very embarrassing fall with the Mannkin. "Yes, dear brother?" "I really don't like you right now…" He trailed away lamely and Tal burst into loud laughter. Bridge shook his head and turned on his night vision. He looked down at the Mannkin and sighed. No wonder he had been offset so much, it was the large, heavy frame of Numbnails below him. Every one was righted and Numbnails went back the herd of Mannkin, noticeably staying in the middle of the group instead of leading in front. Once again he felt Tal move away from him and below him but her presence did not leave. He looked at the shimmering shadow that was her and awaited her report. "The city interface just below the stairs." She said after a long moment. Then she disappeared all together. Bridge relayed the message and again warned the Mannkin to watch their steps and not to fall again, as he wouldn't try to catch anyone this time. This garnered a few chuckles from the other Assailys and a few Mannkin who had been fortunate enough to have visors and had been able to watch the graceful Assaily nearly be thrown not so gracefully down a flight of stairs. I just want to warn people of typoes. I has them bad! Link: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2716710/1/Darkness_Before_Dawn_Sunset Joint story 1: Shattered Memories Summary: When Silverwind's and Darkstar's family is murderd by a group of assasins, the siblings are forced to go seperate ways, both thinking the other is dead. Now older and more skilled, Silverwind is an assasin looking for revenge, Darkstar remains in shadows. Excert: "Cowards." The demon snarled but went along with them nonetheless. She knew better to try to fight an assassin this close to the Light. She began her leap through shadow, but before she was able to truly grab a hold of the churning power, she caught sight of a silver wolf bounding through the foliage. Something pitted itself in her stomach, a panic seemed to sweep through her. But it was gone so fast, as she was jolted into her leap, she gave it no thought. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2798952/1/Shattered_Memories Enjoy! I hope people like these. I really need a critic! 5/03/2010 #42 |
![]() Okay, I'll plug: I've been pleasantly surprised at the traffic my short stories are getting, but of course, the project I'm most passionate about is just sitting out there in a lonely corner like the smelly girl with the orthopedic shoes at the prom. Not sure if the summary is too uninspired, the intro chapter is too lacking in oomph, or I'm just too darned impatient. Long story short, I'd love some feedback on this: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2806438/1/Animus 5/17/2010 #43 |
![]() http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2812605/1/Chased_by_the_Dark I've had about three versions of this story up before, but each time it's been up for weeks with no reviews. I figured a new title and summary could help. Please be sure to check it out! 5/31/2010 #44 |
![]() Gamma you've got to be patient...there are over a million stories out there and people have a hard time finding stories they like. I've had reviews come through after a story was completely over with, and normally even with regular postings, it may be the middle of the story before you start picking up a regular readership. 5/31/2010 #45 |
![]() Gamma: It seems like the sci-fi section of FP is a pretty low-traffic area, unfortunately, so you do have to be patient and just keep plugging away. Also, are you reading other people's work and leaving reviews? If you like what someone else is writing, odds are the two of you have similar tastes and they might like your work too. Leaving a thoughtful, helpful review can be a nice way to make a friend and sometimes even gain a reader. In any case, I totally understand your frustration, so I'll be over to take a look at your stuff in the near future. ;) 5/31/2010 #46 |
![]() I don't have the link but you can just click on my profile. It's called Guardians and its about this girl whose parents die and shes had strange things happening to her ever since. Five years later (when she's 13) she finds out why. She was chosen by a planet that was in charge of handling political issues in the Universe. They had from the beggining of time, and they each mastered one power (telepathy, control over the element of fire, telekenisis, control over technology, etc.) but they are forbidden to use their powers outside of anything for thieir own pleasure. She was chosen to protect the Universe becuase the only way the alien species of said planet can use force is to transfer part of their powers to a group of people from another species. This girl and five other kids were chosen. And I could go on for ages but I wont so that you'll read it. :) 5/31/2010 #47 |
![]() Alright, here's my story: Phalanx: Genesis This is a story that takes place in a futuristic world where the superpowers of the super-continent, Pangea, are locked in their first World War over the use of radioactive material in warfare. This material, referred to in the annals of history as SEAL which resides in the form of a plate beneath the Continental layer of their planet. As it's uncovered and mined for energy the crystalline mass starts rapidly expanding over the terrain, corrupting all life in its rapidly expanding domain. Its now a race against the clock to reclaim their planet and fight off the mutated freaks that threaten it. Little do they know that this world wide pandemonium is only the beginning, and that something far more sinister lurks just beneath the surface... http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2775600/1/Phalanx_Genesis A/N: Sounds pretty angst centered, huh? Yeah, it takes a good deal of comic relief to keep this fic above the surface. I think it's a pretty good story in its own right and I've put 2 years into developing it, lemme' know what you think. :D 6/12/2010 . Edited 6/12/2010 #48 |
![]() "Expanding over the terrain and corrupting all life" reminds me of Phazon from the Metroid Prime games. Sounds interesting though, I'll go take a look. 6/12/2010 #49 |
![]() *Facepalm* I probably should have seen that coming. :D Nah, that wasn't my influence for it though. Of course, nothing in Phalanx is completely original. It's too hard to find revolutionary ideas these days. :p Feel free to bombard me with any critique; it helps me up my game here. ):D 6/12/2010 #50 |
![]() The name's bk, and I hope you guys would mind checking out my story Elemental Succesors. The story takes place in a galaxy faraway from our own, on three earth-like planets, inhabitanted by humans, the visodus or cybergenetic clones, and animialistic forms of energy called the zolani, or soul animals. This 1st story is about a young teen who is trying to live up to the expectations set by other because of his Legendary grandfather, and learn about himself and the worlds around him. Check it out at: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2815423/1/TVF_Elemental_Succesors_Book_1_Memorys_End Please Leave A Review!!! 6/13/2010 . Edited 6/13/2010 #51 |
![]() *Facepalm* I just spent all that time explaining and you figured it out while I was typing... D: Cool all the same. :D 6/13/2010 #52 |
![]() So I've gotten some hits on my story but nobody's reviewing! how am I supposed to know if people like it or not? 6/16/2010 #53 |
![]() Deleted Chasing the Dark, but I posted a new story. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2818881/1/The_Element_Keepers Summary: Four people from a colony with elemental powers must use an ancient document to activate 12 'Temples' before an evil sorceress. 6/17/2010 #54 |
![]() This is kind of a cheat but... My ambitious novella from two years ago, Courting Lady Luck, has been suspended a full year due to school work and now I am updating it again, with now reviews. I desperately need feedbacks. Thank you. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2541243/6/Courting_Lady_Luck 7/09/2010 #55 |
![]() Not a plug, but I'm wondering if anybody else is experiencing a prolonged issue with FP stats? According to my traffic tab, my newest story has had more alerts than hits...and that's just not possible, is it? 8/09/2010 #56 |
![]() Hi, I would like my story to get some feed back. Its still in progress, and only the first 2 chapters are up at this time. Its named "Doom Legend: Fates bloody hands", It takes place in the year 2045, 10 years after creatures the government now calls Demons attacked. Its about an 18 year old, depressed, yet very creative and unfortunately innocent boy living in a man made garden of Eden called the Sea Adam, HOWEVER. when he tries to kill himself by going out in the open waters were a demon attack is commencing. An angel code named K.Lilith saves him from the demon and things go off from there. One thing I wanna make clear though is I know that its sounds like it has been done before maybe but its the characters personality's that I have tried to put great thought into, to make it different. (hopefully) I would really like some feed back on it, so any you give will be much appreciated. !-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -- 8/17/2010 #57 |
![]() Hi, I would like my story to get some feed back. Its still in progress, and only the first 2 chapters are up at this time. Its named "Doom Legend: Fates bloody hands", It takes place in the year 2045, 10 years after creatures the government now calls Demons attacked. Its about an 18 year old, depressed, yet very creative and unfortunately innocent boy living in a man made garden of Eden called the Sea Adam, HOWEVER. when he tries to kill himself by going out in the open waters were a demon attack is commencing. An angel code named K.Lilith saves him from the demon and things go off from there. One thing I wanna make clear though is I know that its sounds like it has been done before maybe but its the characters personality's that I have tried to put great thought into, to make it different. (hopefully) I would really like some feed back on it, so any you give will be much appreciated. !-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -- 8/17/2010 #58 |
![]() Hi, I would like my story to get some feed back. Its still in progress, and only the first 2 chapters are up at this time. Its named "Doom Legend: Fates bloody hands", It takes place in the year 2045, 10 years after creatures the government now calls Demons attacked. Its about an 18 year old, depressed, yet very creative and unfortunately innocent boy living in a man made garden of Eden called the Sea Adam, HOWEVER. when he tries to kill himself by going out in the open waters were a demon attack is commencing. An angel code named K.Lilith saves him from the demon and things go off from there. One thing I wanna make clear though is I know that its sounds like it has been done before maybe but its the characters personality's that I have tried to put great thought into, to make it different. (hopefully) I would really like some feed back on it, so any you give will be much appreciated. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2838789/1/Doom_Legend_Fates_Bloody_Hands 8/17/2010 #59 |
![]() Sorry for the accidental double post. 8/17/2010 #60 |
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