Basically, this is a way to develop your improvisational skills, and maybe train you for a future career in advertising!
Anyway, one person will post a generic product, and the others will write a tagline/advertisement for it. Example:
Person 1: Shampoo
Person 2: Tagline for Shampoo 'Don't look like a 1960's greaser! Wash your hair with this wonderful goo!'
Something like that. Please don't use brand names, though (Aspirin, Band-Aid, etc.).
I shall start with:
Bug spray.7/01/2010 #1
Tagline for bug spary: Vant to suck my blood? Vell, back off. Bugs back off with bug spray!
^^^FAIL. Hahahahhaha. xD -hides under a rock-7/02/2010 #2
Haha, you don't have to hide, Bones! That wasn't bad.
I'll pass the product-selecting to the next person...7/02/2010 #3
I'll do it!!!
univeral remote.7/02/2010 #4
Okay, since no one else has taken the bait....For universal remote:
'I can turn on the DVD player and the TV with ONE remote! No more trying to change channels with the DVD control!'
Ugh. That was weak.
Laptop computers.7/04/2010 #5
Laptop computers: "It's like a computer... on your lap, bro." "Duuuuuuude!"
Hahahhaa! That was sad.
Bones: I loved that! I can actually picture it in my mind! Hahahaa!
Sorry, just had to interrupt. Carry on.7/17/2010 #7
Tagline for Robot: This robot will even wipe your ass, because you shouldn't have to.
Bottled Dragon breath12/07/2010 #8
Hehe, nice one.
Tagline for Bottled Dragon Breath: Tired of having to buy new clothes because your pet dragon is testy in the morning? Well, let the pros bottle that wonderful dragon breath for you!
Cellphones.12/08/2010 . Edited 12/08/2010 #9
Tagline for cell phones: Tired of lugging around those long phone cables just so you can ring someone while in the middle of the road? Well with this brand new invention, you don't need a cord! Try one of our cell-phones today!
Caution: Side effects of cell-phones include;being an asshole in theatres, your phone-calls being listened to by secret MI6 members, Textaphrenia [the feeling that your phone vibrated with a text message when it didn't], large phone bills, sore thumbs, being a perverted old man on a beach, generally being a douche, walking into lightpoles, anyone being able to reach you at any time, always getting a phone call while at the checkout, looking like an idiot when you pretend to talk on your phone and it rings, your mother having full access to you, becoming a sleeper agent for communism, playing snake, thinking your cool when you have a picture phone, depression when no-one rings, stupid ringtones, sudden sadoku skill, radiation, ninja's attacking your brain, purple flying dragons, STI's, annoying exes, erectile dysfunction, sudden blindness and even death.
Cell phone company does not take any responsibility if you trip over some archaic person's cord phone. Cell phone company advises against using your cell phone in any of these places; your car, theatre, movies, your home, bathroom, the street, in a store, a monks den, the zoo, the D&D den, work, school, boats, planes, in the country, in the city, in a town, in a willage, in a cottage, in a villa, in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse, on a boat [again..no we are serious], with a goat, wearing socks, in a tree, next to me, in a train, in the rain, here or there, anywhere, with green eggs, or with ham, next to someone annoying named Sam. We also advise against using your cell phone when at home with the Mrs, or out with the boys.
______________end of pitch_________________
A box12/09/2010 . Edited 12/09/2010 #10
Hahaha! Couldn't stop laughing!
Right, lame line for a box ...
"For those times when you just can't think outside the box ... think INSIDE the box!"
Okay, that was truly terrible ...
How about ... a bowling ball?12/10/2010 #11
xD Glad I could help.
Tagline for Bowling ball: Keep losing to all your mates? Get some balls....bowling balls.
New item: Memory revival medication. [Do you get what I mean. Meds that improve and help you regain your memory.]12/10/2010 . Edited 12/10/2010 #12
My tagline for Heartacheannie's product:
Forgetting something? Try the Memory Revival Medication, the medicine guaranteed to give you a piece of your mind...back! Just listen to a few of the people who used this miraculous elixir!
Man: The other day, a woman came up to me in the store, asking if I remembered taking her to the homecoming dance back in '82. If it weren't for the M.R.M., it would've gotten awkward! Hah, her name was Fern!
Middle-Aged Woman: Before taking the M.R.M., my memory was the size of a peanut. But now, I can remember just about everything, even the time I went out with the mailman while my husband was away! Oops, don't tell him that!
Talk with your doctor if you're ready to use the Memory Revival Medication! You should not use if you are prone to epilepsy, have vision problem, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, or are pregnant. Using Memory Revival Medication while pregnant might make you baby the next Albert Einstein, or just really, really stupid. We don't know, but we don't recommend trying it.
Next product: Coconut Smasher1/09/2011 #13
Tagline for a Coconut Smasher:
Man rescued from desert island: I would never have survived... if not for my trusty Coconut Smasher! Everyone should have one, in case of emergencies, or parties, or if a maniac comes into your home...
Warning on packaging: The Coconut Smasher does not double as a floatation device. Be sure core temperature is at 365 degrees before safely consuming.Before you know how Coconut Smasher will affect you, do not try to drive or operate heavy machinery. Talk to your doctor about Coconut Smasher. Side affects include, but are not limited too: diahrea, increased flatulance, and anal irritation. Stop using and call your doctor if: your skin begins to show changes in palor or 'sparkle-tude', or you develop a taste for blood, as this is a sign of a rare, but serious side effect known as: Necroidiodouchtosis.
Well, now that I've had my fun... ^^
a TARDIS. (no cheating by using the fake ad already on BBC. I will know.)1/09/2011 #14
Tagline for a TARDIS:
It's really what's on the inside that counts.
The next product can be a Desert Island Companion.5/25/2011 #15
Desert Island Companion, just the thing you need while you're stuck on an island with no TV! He's not very imaginative with making up new advertising slogans, but he does his best.
Desert Island Companion:"Hello, ladies. Look at your island, now back to me, now back at your island, now back to me. Sadly, you don't have me, but if you'd have stopped and thought about preparing for being alone on a desert island, you could have had me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a boat with your desert island companion. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it, it's a book with the secret to getting off the island in it. Look again, and you're back on that island thinking about me. Anything is possible when you buy a desert island companion instead of fantasising about one. I'm in a shop."
Okay so that wasn't very original but that's all I could think of!!
I say... a bright yellow car from the 50's with a magenta stripe :)
Good luck!5/26/2011 #16
'Diamonds? A girl's best friend.
But why listen to Marilyn when you've got a bright yellow car from the 50's with a yellow stripe? Loud, proud and always there where the bourbon isn't.'
Next product: a Justin Bieber toupee.5/28/2011 #17
You're old. You're out of style. You no longer have the looks that made the ladies crazy about you twenty years ago, and the music you listen to was all the rage 50 years ago.
We here at Beiber Inc. understand that you want to catch up with modern times, and where better to start than with your hair? Place a Justin Beiber toupee on your balding head today, and the young ladies will be saying 'baby' all night long!!
Disclaimer: We here at Beiber Inc. strongly advise that people with bad neck problems should not buy this product, as it is necessary to have neck spasms every few seconds to keep it looking fresh. We also take no responsibility for being crushed fatally by the following parties:
- Screaming teenage girls
- The boyfriends of those screaming teenage girls
- Screaming gay guys
- Angry parents who were brought up on REAL music
- Modern teenagers who want to kill Justin Bieber for ruining their lives
- And people who want to give you a proper haircut!
Next product: A crazy straw!5/28/2011 #18
Hey kids? Is your mochacaffelateamantillado just not cool enough for your hipster needs? Then you need -
The Straw! The Straw is poratble and has its own wifi! The Straw can hold up to fifty songs, thirty full-length videos, and the entire first season of pokemon! The Straw!
WARNING: ELECTROCUTION RISK. KEEP PRODUCT WAY FROM WATER.
Next product: Pocket Obama8/26/2011 #19
Yes we can. Yes we can wear pants. Yes we can have pockets. And yes, we can put things in those pockets. So people of America, put a little bit of your patriotic side in your pocket. Show your passion for politics by putting a little bit of Obama in your pocket! Yes we can America!!
Disclaimer: this product's description was done by an Australian so may contain incorrect information concerning the USA... and maybe some kangaroos too. Whatever works for you to make you buy it!
Next product: rollerblades made from worms.8/26/2011 . Edited 8/27/2011 #20
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