Congratulations, Lord Slayer! xD

Crossing fingers it's Mahousen Izumi. Really love that story. xD

Nicely done Slayer! XD

As for BGQG:

Likes

-The insane crap that happens in the story and the main characters who are somewhat trapped into it. XD

Need to improve

-Well, I have to agree, the more romance we get, it'll be awesome but I like how it's going.

Setting

-And...I thought Class 12-K was messed up in their setting. You nailed just how absurd the place can be with its cast.

Favourite moments

-Benkei being an ass to the teacher for not being a stereotype. Reminds me how much of a jerk my character were unintentionally. XD

Favourite characters

-Shion...Reminds me of my OC Kyoko if she wasn't as tame as I write her. lol

Favourite pairings

-....The title characters...Very strange yet kind of cute in its weird way!

Likes

- I really like the comedy in this story. I actually laughed while reading it.

- I also really like all of the characters. They make me smile.

Need to improve

- Grammar. I'm not very good with this either but I do notice that sometimes it's not right. i'm not really sure though, maybe I'm wrong.

Setting

- The school and the restaurant. They seem like cool places.

Favorite moments

- When Alice got in trouble for molesting Reiji in the library. So funny!

Favorite characters

- Alice

- Reiji

- Kenta! (Masaya?)

Favorite pairings

- Reiji x Alice (Duh)

- Masaya x His invisible Friend

Woo-hoo! And now for my acceptance speech: You like me, you really, really like me!! _

Annnnnnnyway, yes, Mahousen is my selection. And I should have another chapter up today as well, so this is actually pretty good timing.

Okay, review time: I'm afraid I didn't like this one quite as much as everyone else did. Everything's so chaotic and random, it's hard for me to get oriented.

Likes:

- Characters- Despite the excessive amount of weirdness going on everywhere, all of your characters are pretty well fleshed out, as well as diverse and interesting.

Need to improve

- Plot- If there is one I can't see it beneath the madcap circus of the rest of the rest of the story's world. Sure, it's ultimately about Reiji and Alice getting together, but there's really no clear path of development towards it besides the lunches they share beneath "dat tree." The romance aspect of this romantic comedy is always overshadowed, if not being out-right buried, by the comedy.

- Tenses- You have a habit of slipping into second person when the whole story is supposed to be in third person. Be careful about that.

Setting

- Class-12. Bunch of loonies, lol

Favourite moments

- Reiji's dream. Even though it was pretty obvious it was a dream from the start it was still a fun change of pace.

Favourite characters

- Alice- Probably your most well developed character.

Favourite pairings

- Alice and Reiji- Main character couples have always seemed the most interesting to me.

Likes

-the running gags

-how the crazy characters are funny but aren't too unpredictable

Dislikes

-no more character specials

Need to improve

-Grammar. But that's only in a few places, I think it was mainly mixing different verb tenses.

Setting

-A school for the rich where students can get away with anything they want so long as they don't mess with the educational program? While I've seen this before, there's no way your characters could get away with everything...well...except for that one time Alice 'molested' Reiji

Favorite Moments

-What? You're asking me to choose my favorite moment? While I do think that some scenes were funnier than others, asking me that is like asking me to choose between my beloved childhood friend and a magical girl who saved my life countless times right after they both confess their love to me. Simultaneously. HOW CAN I CHOOSE!?!?!

Favorite Characters

-Benkei

-Reiji

-Alice

Favorite Pairings

Benkei x Shion

Reiji x Alice

____________

Alright, now I'm off to read Mahousen Izumi

... on second thought, I should probably wait until the story of the week becomes official.

EDIT: Wow, I don't know how I didn't see Slayer's post, as he posted before me. But...whatever.

back to reading Mahousen Izumi!

If I may, Kisho. Could we not require reviews for the first "chapter," for people to get the bonus points for reviewing every chapter? The first chapter is a character and setting page to help readers keep track of things when the story starts getting really long (which it eventually will), and therefore contains spoilers for new readers.

So for everyone else, PLEASE don't read the first "chapter," unless you don't mind spoilers. Thanks. ;

YES! MAHOUSEN IZUMI!

I'm really going to catch up this week, I was following this story for some time now. And I gotta say, it's really COOL. As an avid Magic Genre writer myself, I recommend this story to virtually everyone else.

Well, I'll probably not say too much about it, I might spoil everyone. So, off to leave reviews, then! xD

@Slayer: Actually, all this comedy is just me trying to make any romance between Reiji and Alice seem believable. If I jumped on the romance wagon immediately, well, that would be unrealistic, no? Besides, it's only been two weeks since they've met canonically, so any hint of plot or romance has to wait till I can finally say that their relationship is believable. Then I'll make it go straight to hell like in chapter 12. *shot* Okay, I won't.

But enough about that. I've been waiting to get into Mahousen Izumi (Too long, I'll call it MI) for so long! It's time! To dive into the fireworks!

I got to admit, the usage of the Last Name first, First Name last deal in Mahousen Izumi actually does work well, or in general most of the way we saw in Japanese dialogues like San or Sensei.

I don't know why but when I read fanfics that use it...I felt like the author was kind of trying too hard to remind us they're in Japan or at least it came from a manga that uses those words. Heck, when I use it, I feel like I'm trying to hard to be "JAPANESE!!" when I could write the way most people would prefer. In Slayer's story, I have no real issues with it since it's a very enjoyable read.

...And good grief, I know Kami can mean God in some translations but I've seen fanfics that used it in sayings like "Oh my kami" or "Please for the love of kami you're okay" and honestly...It got to my nerves.

This is probably why I rarely read fanfics. lol

No offense to those who do write like that if there is any...It's just a pet peeve I get when reading stuff...Sorry. XD

...Whoa, the above post really makes me sound like an ass... O_O

Sorry bout that guys...I kind of had a rough morning.

This week we're reading a story by Lord Slayer, it's called Mahousen Izumi.

Here's a link to the prologue:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2997287/2/Mahousen_Izumi

(What I sent you is the "second chapter," or prologue. As Slayer said, don't read the real "first chapter" as it contains spoilers.)

Can't believe I was too busy to read BG;QG T-T...

Sorry Edge u-u

I'll try to read as much as I can from this week's

@Ritsuioko23- The first "chapter," is a story information page to help long time readers keep track of stuff, as I intend for this story to get pretty long eventually. It's not for first time readers, and I left a warning at the top of the page, but since we can't make the font very big on Fictionpress even the bold font can be missed. Hence the warning here on the forum.

@DevilPogoStick- No worries, and your not entirely wrong. Though the "oh kami," thing does work for Dragonball stories, since that's what everyone calls Earth's god. Or did, at any rate. lol, better than "Oh my Dende!," or "what in the name of King Kai is going on," right?

@Slayer: Well, you got a point. It's mostly the fact I've seen a few fanfics that used this...When you know, the actual canon didn't make a big deal out of this. Nevertheless, I thought bout it and can't really blame the authors since if that's what they want, it's alright really.

Then again, I wouldn't even try a fanfic since...I guess I do care bout making the plot have some common sense without breaking some canon rules.

Also, loving the story you got so far.

@Devil: I totally know what you mean! That's why it's hard to find a good fanfic.

Well...At least I didn't read a Harry Potter fic where Malfoy's got bitching leather pants while Ron's an death eater that you have to hate. LOL

But I'm glad...I'm just one chapter away from completing tSlayer's story...I'm sooo glad I got time. :)

Heh, it does require some time to read, doesn't it?

I hear you. Screwing with characterizations based on personal preferences is very bad writing.

Pretty much, especially if it's way off the original characterizations.

I mean as long as there's a good bit of the character being what they are, I wouldn't mind seeing a little difference as long as they act like they usually do...Not because it sounds hot and brings a character down in the process to sink a ship, official or not.

I mean, I'll read yaoi or yuri, but if those aren't the characters I knew and like, I might question myself why the author didn't just make an original fiction if they were wayyy off the mark.

...Except Twilight, cause it's kind of train wreck as it is from what I heard as each book is released.

Stupidly written fanfics annoy me as well, but I do enjoy some of them.

Twilight? I gave up reading after the first few chapters. It's not exactly my cup of tea.

And oh, I'm done with Mahousen. Yay! I gotta say that I love Izumi and Hiroto. Such a cute pair... XD

Anyways, I'll leave the discussion for later, when the rest catches up.

EDIT: Kish must be really busy, she haven't edited the first post yet. Hehe.

Wha? You guys already finished? I'm not even pass the 2nd chapter! Dammit! It's time to activate! The Reading Steiner! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Oh my God, that long LONG wall of text... I can do this... I CAN DO THIS!

@Edge Go for it Edge! I'm right behind you, I got your back! ...actually, I finished at 11:40 PM on GMT -4:00

I'm gonna have to reread a few chapters, cause I was tired and might've misread something.

I really did laugh out loud a few times, I woke up my little brother last night. He was ticked off, claiming he was in the middle of another "chosen one" dream and he'll never get back to sleep, blah, blah, blah. But hey, he woke me up sometime from Saturday night to early Sunday morning cause he was playing TF2.

Ahh...the taste of sweet revenge.

Anyways, back to talking about Mahousen Izumi. I really like how you describe using a variety of words. Especially those battle sequences.

...Now to find that one chapter where I may have misread something.

Ganbatte, Edge-kun! xD

The main reason why I caught up was because I was following Mahousen for some time (even when it was still named differently) and I was just reading the chapters I haven't viewed yet.

And yes, I agree with Johnny-san. Lord Slayer is really good with descriptions and fight scenes. Plus, humor, too. xD

Hehe, yeah, sorry, been pretty busy lately... bless coffee, nya ;u;b

But I am happy it's Mahousen Izumi's turn, nya! Just like Jin-chan, I've been following it even before its current version existed, nya, so I can say with confidence that it's a great story, nya cx

And I'm not too far behind, so I can probably fit it in with writing these side stories too, nya xD

Oh Heck, I love the details and characters and the development that comes around for them.

...And the fights are awesome. XD

And I am done with Mahousen Izumi for the time being!

And the last chapter so far does not disappoint readers, I'll say to that. :)

Hmm, we seem to be in need of a new discussion topic, so I guess I'll throw one out. What are your thoughts on how to avoid cliches?

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