I need some critiquing on my Yuri/Shoujo Ai story. Also just if you're interested in these types of stories in general, but most of all I want someone to give me feedback and tell me about the story aspects they might like or my writing style, grammar mistakes if there is any?

I need the critique on my work, to see where I might need to improve, I can never get enough. Thank you.

I warn you that there are themes of female homosexuality and if you are offended by this subject/genre do not read it.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2865080/1/Irish_Dreamer

Also if you want, you can discuss your opinions or just the story in general here if you want a lengthier conversation and you want to ask questions to me directly.

While I never want to discourage an author from actively seeking out critiques, I want to mention that you might have more success on the femmeslash forum than on this one.

There's a femslash forum? I thought it was actually just slash fiction in general (Yaoi and Yuri) ok then, Thanks! :D

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