Example:

Good news - you're finally going skydiving!

Bad news - when you jump, your parachute won't work!

Good news - There's a truck full of pillows conveniently placed right below you to cushion your fall.

Bad news - there's a bear driving the truck!

I'll start, going with bad news since it's probably more interesting like that.

Bad news, you just came home from work and there's a poisonous viper on the driveway!

Good news: You live in an apartment building.

Bad news: An annoying old lady gives them directions to the correct apartment.

Good news: The door's jammed shut.

Bad news: they manage to pry it open.

Good news: You leave through the window before they spot you.

Bad news: your apartment is on the second story.

Lol, saw that one coming, thought it'd be something like the fifth floor though.

Good news: You land in a hedge.

Yes, it wasn't very inventive, was it? =P I'll have to be more unpredictable.

Bad news: the hedge is infested with angry squirrels!

Good news: the squirrels arn't angry at you.

Bad news: they're angry at the also-angry raccoons beside you.

Good news: You have a can of mace.

Bad news: It's empty.

Good news: You use as a club to beat the racoon off.

Bad news: the racoon's friends don't like you beating on him.

Bad news: They're killer ants.

Good news: most of them were smashed when you fell on the bush.

Bad news: those that weren't smashed were exposed to nuclear radiation and are now giant mutant-ants.

Good news: radiation poisoning. Yay for radiation poisoning! They're all dead.

Bad news: You get radiation poisoning too. A mysterious, bulbous lump forms on your back.

Good news: It's like the old comic, you get super powers.

Bad news: Your superpowers are lame.

Good news: You got very famous thanks to your super powers regardless of its lame-ness.

Bad news: As your super power was to be able to create macaroni at will, you were laughed at all over the world by little kids, and given the name 'The Wet Noodle.'

Good News: Your macaroni is very delicious. Hence you open a restaurant and become filthy rich.

Bad News: Some one files a lawsuit and you loose the restaurant chain and all your money.

Good news: Now that they are loose, they have returned to the commericalist wilds and copulated. Lo and Behold! your restaurant chain has gone global.

Bad news: You don't get a single penny.

Good news: It doesn't matter, you get plenty of twenties.

Bad news: Plenty means five.

Good news: In this alternate world, the economy's already crashed, so a hundred dollars could practically buy you a car.

Bad news: In this alternate world, a car is a stick of gum.

Good News: Gum is worth more then gold.

Bad news: Gold is worth less than toothpicks.

Good News: Toothpicks are the building blocks of the multi-verse.

Bad news - since you've taken away all the toothpicks - per string theory - each universe of the multiverse shivers and colapses into a single dimension.

Okay, now I'm just making stuff up ^^;;

Good News: Those that were not destroyed in the collapsing of the universe name you their supreme ruler.

Bad News: The only people that survived are mutant cannibals. And you're on the menu.

Good News: You discover you're very hungry and cannabalism goes well with carrots.

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