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ONETRACKMlND

Topic: Corrupt-A-Wish!

I make a wish, and the next person to post finds an ironic way to derive bad consequences from granting the wish, or to otherwise tag a downside to it, and so on and so forth.

For example:

Joe: I wish I had a sandwich.

Jill: Granted. It is filled with worms. I wish I had a corvette.

Jack: Granted. You got it real cheap because it was crushed under an anvil. I wish for world peace.

If a wish is uncorruptable, there are two courses of action: corrupt it anyways, or answer the wish with "not granted".

#1 Jun 29th 2007, 6:28pm . Edited Jun 29th 2007, 6:29pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Guess I'll start with world peace.

---

Granted. Now the only TV shows allowed to run are bad sitcoms. I wish to rule the world.

#2 Jun 29th 2007, 10:51pm

ONETRACKMlND

Granted. But you did not specify which world. You are now ruler of pluto.

#3 Jun 30th 2007, 4:03pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Wish?

#4 Jun 30th 2007, 7:22pm

ONETRACKMlND

I wish i had a ham sandwich.

#5 Jul 02nd 2007, 4:46pm

Moko Emaki

Granted. There are suspicious tentacles hanging out of the sandwich, but then I say it's only octopus. I wish God would repair this damn leg.

#6 Jul 02nd 2007, 5:16pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. Your leg is fine. How do you like having a broken neck?

I wish I could create illusions.

#7 Jul 02nd 2007, 8:00pm

Moko Emaki

Good job, God. You will creat terrible, ugly illusions involuntarily which will haunt you for the rest of your life.

I wish I wish.

#8 Jul 06th 2007, 3:17pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. You wish to be eaten alive by pirhanas.

I wish time would speed up by a 100% increase until one year has passed, after which it will return to the original passing of time.

#9 Jul 06th 2007, 6:25pm

Moko Emaki

Time doesn't speed up, instead it goes 100% slower and you're stuck in your depressed mood for the whole year.

I wish I inhaled chlorine gas. (COCI2)

#10 Jul 13th 2007, 10:31am . Edited Jul 13th 2007, 10:32am

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. It smelled funny.

I wish I had a fish.

#11 Jul 17th 2007, 8:38pm

Moko Emaki

Granted. It is a very large, live man-eating shark.

I wish I had something to wish for.

#12 Jul 18th 2007, 10:34am

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. Now you're being chased by a rabid squirrel. Wish THAT away.

I wish I wasn't thirsty.

#13 Jul 18th 2007, 11:46am

Moko Emaki

Granted. You ARE thirsty some time after, and so you drink salt water that's in a conveniently placed Poland Spring container.

I wish that rabid squirrel wasn't biting so hard.

#14 Jul 18th 2007, 12:21pm . Edited Jul 18th 2007, 12:38pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. Now it's not biting, just hogging the remote when you're trying to watch TV.

I wish whoever's granting these wishes eats dirt.

#15 Jul 18th 2007, 2:37pm

concerto49

Granted. Dirt is a new name for a type of food.

I wish whoever's there to run around in circles like crazy.

#16 Jul 19th 2007, 5:38pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. I bump into you and break your skull.

I wish I could be writing instead of wasting my time making wishes. ;)

#17 Jul 20th 2007, 5:04pm

concerto49

That was so scary. Dont' feel good now. Hey, it's okay. I wish I could too.

Perhaps we should all wish together - it might make the wish stronger.

#18 Jul 20th 2007, 5:06pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Okay. *grabs a whole bunch of nearby FPers, drags them into circle*

I WISH I WERE WRITING RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF MAKING DUMB WISHES!!!!

#19 Jul 23rd 2007, 9:44am

Will Sachiksy

Wish granted. You write a miserable story that receives fifty-seven-and-a-half flames.

(By the way, I'd second your wish.)

I wish we had an effiecient and inexpensive alternative to fossil fuels.

#20 Jul 30th 2007, 7:29pm

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. The new car is so popular, everyone is driving one: and you get run over.

I wish I had a million dollars.

#21 Jul 31st 2007, 1:05pm

Will Sachiksy

Granted. The million is payed in gold, and you pull several muscles trying to carry it. You are sent to a hospital where the doctors mistake you for a "beating heart" cadaver. They harvest your organs and send your body to the morgue.

I wish my speakers could go up to eleven.

#22 Aug 01st 2007, 5:00am

Sakka-Fenikkusu

Granted. However, whenever you turn them to anything above three, you lose a pint of blood. Have fun!

I wish I weren't so morbid.

#23 Aug 01st 2007, 1:51pm

Like a love sick puppy

Granted, but now you can only think about the Teletubbies and the carebears

I wish I didn't have rehearsal tomarrow.

#24 Feb 20th, 7:48pm

Gracie Friday

Granted. Now you have rehearsal every other day of your life but tomorrow.

I wish for no allergies.

#25 Feb 21st, 11:35am

writingxonxwalls

Granted. How do you like the flu?

I wish I wasn't cold.

#26 Feb 21st, 1:33pm

Gracie Friday

Granted. Now your burning hot.

I wish i didn't have writers block.

#27 Feb 21st, 4:10pm

Will Sachiksy

Granted. Now you have so many idea rising so fiercely that you can do nothing but write them down. You don't have any paper or writing utensils with you, so you claw them into your skin. (Thank you, Mr. Gaiman, for that horrible image.)

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

#28 Feb 21st, 5:12pm

writingxonxwalls

Granted. Now you're an overachiever who has no friends because you are sick of their procrastinating ways.

I wish I had my iPod.

#29 Feb 21st, 5:30pm

Gracie Friday

Granted. Now thw only thing on your iPod is the Barney theme-song.

I wish it was Spring Break.

#30 Feb 21st, 7:28pm

Burnt Bread

great. but they shortened it to a day. I wish I was naked.

#31 Feb 29th, 8:47pm

Youkai Author

Granted, but you forgot that you lived in Siberia.

I wish I could do amazing ninja tricks.

#32 Mar 18th, 7:30pm

Alimisse

Granted. But now you have a mob of enemies keeping an eye out for your 'suspicious' moves.

I wish I didn't have this stupid headache.

#33 Mar 23rd, 10:19pm . Edited Mar 23rd, 10:20pm

UbiquitousOranges

Granted. Now your headache is much, much smarter. It will lie in wait and jump out at you when you least expect it.

I wish I didn't have to study for this test tomorrow.

#34 Apr 09th, 2:30am

A. Simone

Granted. You don't study for your test, but you fail miserably and fail the class.

I wish I didn't have to take Physics.

#35 Apr 09th, 2:54pm

UbiquitousOranges

Granted. Now you have to take Calculus IV.

I wish I could speak German.

#36 Apr 09th, 6:35pm

MySunshine

Granted. But you have a weird accent and no one understands you.

I wish I was done with school.

#37 May 07th, 8:55am

Dalia N'Shard

Granted, but you dropped out instead of graduating.

I wish I could hug Anubis.

#38 May 10th, 2:02pm

Caecilia

Granted. He decides you look delicious, now you're missing your left ear and right foot.

I wish a wereleopard was my best friend

#39 Jul 02nd, 12:40pm

Youkai Author

Granted, but his previous best friend, the Yeti, becomes incredibly jealous and decides to roast you over a fire and eat your charred corpse.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

#40 Jul 03rd, 2:31pm

Caecilia

Granted, but in one of the places you get stuck between a wall and eaten by Godzilla, who ate the building.

I wish I had big wings and could fly

#41 Jul 03rd, 4:19pm

Ivory Taint

Granted, but now you have gills instead of lungs and suffocate mid-flight due to lack of water.

I wish Dean Martin was alive so I could marry him. 3

#42 Jul 08th, 11:58pm

Ten ways to spoil dinner

Granted, buthe's a ZOMBIE.

I wish that I am an alien who never comes near earth in fear of CIA Agents.

#43 Jul 09th, 12:20am

Ivory Taint

Granted. The CIA Agents create a new base in outer space.

I wish I was good at math.

#44 Jul 09th, 9:42am

Ten ways to spoil dinner

Granted, but you get test anxiety and fail all of your tests.

I wish I had my own computer

#45 Jul 09th, 11:32pm . Edited Jul 09th, 11:33pm

Kumquat21

Granted, but it is possessed by satan and sends evil subliminal messages into your head before finally exploding from conflicting forces.

I wish I could sew. ^^

#46 Jul 11th, 7:19am

Caecilia

Granted, but you sew your foot to an oven mitt and your mother uses said oven mitt to move a firework and your foot gets blown off along with the oven mitt.

#47 Jul 12th, 11:54am

Ranger of Arnor

i wish for a really nice sword.

#48 Yesterday, 4:02pm

Caecilia

Granted, but you trip and cut your favorite shirt.

I wish I could read minds.

[forgot to put a wish in my last post.... oops!]

#49 Yesterday, 6:12pm

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