I make a wish, and the next person to post finds an ironic way to derive bad consequences from granting the wish, or to otherwise tag a downside to it, and so on and so forth.

For example:

Joe: I wish I had a sandwich.

Jill: Granted. It is filled with worms. I wish I had a corvette.

Jack: Granted. You got it real cheap because it was crushed under an anvil. I wish for world peace.

If a wish is uncorruptable, there are two courses of action: corrupt it anyways, or answer the wish with "not granted".

Guess I'll start with world peace.

---

Granted. Now the only TV shows allowed to run are bad sitcoms. I wish to rule the world.

Granted. But you did not specify which world. You are now ruler of pluto.

Wish?

I wish i had a ham sandwich.

Granted. There are suspicious tentacles hanging out of the sandwich, but then I say it's only octopus. I wish God would repair this damn leg.

Granted. Your leg is fine. How do you like having a broken neck?

I wish I could create illusions.

Good job, God. You will creat terrible, ugly illusions involuntarily which will haunt you for the rest of your life.

I wish I wish.

Granted. You wish to be eaten alive by pirhanas.

I wish time would speed up by a 100% increase until one year has passed, after which it will return to the original passing of time.

Time doesn't speed up, instead it goes 100% slower and you're stuck in your depressed mood for the whole year.

I wish I inhaled chlorine gas. (COCI2)

Granted. It smelled funny.

I wish I had a fish.

Granted. It is a very large, live man-eating shark.

I wish I had something to wish for.

Granted. Now you're being chased by a rabid squirrel. Wish THAT away.

I wish I wasn't thirsty.

Granted. You ARE thirsty some time after, and so you drink salt water that's in a conveniently placed Poland Spring container.

I wish that rabid squirrel wasn't biting so hard.

Granted. Now it's not biting, just hogging the remote when you're trying to watch TV.

I wish whoever's granting these wishes eats dirt.

Granted. Dirt is a new name for a type of food.

I wish whoever's there to run around in circles like crazy.

Granted. I bump into you and break your skull.

I wish I could be writing instead of wasting my time making wishes. ;)

That was so scary. Dont' feel good now. Hey, it's okay. I wish I could too.

Perhaps we should all wish together - it might make the wish stronger.

Okay. *grabs a whole bunch of nearby FPers, drags them into circle*

I WISH I WERE WRITING RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF MAKING DUMB WISHES!!!!

Wish granted. You write a miserable story that receives fifty-seven-and-a-half flames.

(By the way, I'd second your wish.)

I wish we had an effiecient and inexpensive alternative to fossil fuels.

Granted. The new car is so popular, everyone is driving one: and you get run over.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted. The million is payed in gold, and you pull several muscles trying to carry it. You are sent to a hospital where the doctors mistake you for a "beating heart" cadaver. They harvest your organs and send your body to the morgue.

I wish my speakers could go up to eleven.

Granted. However, whenever you turn them to anything above three, you lose a pint of blood. Have fun!

I wish I weren't so morbid.

Granted, but now you can only think about the Teletubbies and the carebears

I wish I didn't have rehearsal tomarrow.

Granted. Now you have rehearsal every other day of your life but tomorrow.

I wish for no allergies.

Granted. How do you like the flu?

I wish I wasn't cold.

Granted. Now your burning hot.

I wish i didn't have writers block.

Granted. Now you have so many idea rising so fiercely that you can do nothing but write them down. You don't have any paper or writing utensils with you, so you claw them into your skin. (Thank you, Mr. Gaiman, for that horrible image.)

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

Granted. Now you're an overachiever who has no friends because you are sick of their procrastinating ways.

I wish I had my iPod.

Granted. Now thw only thing on your iPod is the Barney theme-song.

I wish it was Spring Break.