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Author Post
Bryden
Topic: Advice
Alright so I have my revised story up... a couple chapters... and... the reviews have not been positive. It's gotten me thinking if I should go back to the other version I had about 87 pages of... here's why

The story i have up now... is VERY complicated even for me to write

Its basically three stories in one

- A knight and an escaped desert slave leave the country that wronged them both and eventually help the rival country with a war

- A warrior and his allies work to stop the shadow warriors

- A fierce scout and ranger has to impede the coming doom by stopping a group of assassins that could determine the outcome of said wars

The story I had is a bit more epic in feel but with alot of cliches

- peasant boy turns out to be linked to a prophecy and works with a group of friends and allies in fulfilling it

Granted the differences with the cliches were that the peasant never becomes super hero swordsman, its just his journey from boy to man and how he deals with his problems

I don't know... should I keep going with the story I'm working on now, or should I go back to the one I was doing before... or should I start over one more time and revise it to make it not complicated and much more smooth and easy to understand?

#1 Jul 23rd 2007, 9:33am
Girlbrainiac
OUCH! You seem to have gotten ripped up one side and down the other by Lccorp!

Heh. He's infamous for his rather harsh reviews... It's nothing personal. He's like that with everyone. Ignore the condescending tone and listen what he has to say, because he usually has a pretty good point, and good advice.

Girlbrainiac

#2 Jul 24th 2007, 6:55pm
Bryden
Well... that's the thing. After my anger subsided I waited and one other reviewed it. Now I recall the reviews from the previous version of my story.

People liked it... so should I perhaps return to the old? Especially now that I realize there was nothing wrong with it?

#3 Jul 25th 2007, 10:31am
Evil Minion Number 2
Well, honestly, no one can tell you what you should do. Your the one writing the story, and that means you know what way it gets across better.
#4 Jul 25th 2007, 4:52pm
Girlbrainiac
I WOULD suggest, from what little I've read, changing around the way you state things. You tend to use more words than necessary in an attempt at making it sound epic. That's a mistake, in my opinion. The words just don't flow quite right when you're reading them.

As for whether to change it back or not... I wouldn't know. That's something to figure out for yourself. I would suggest keeping on for a bit, and if you KEEP getting bad reviews, maybe re-assess the story, and your technique before going on. Don't be disheartened just because you get a few bad reviews. We're all working to improve, and just because you may not quite have it yet doesn't mean you won't get it.

Girlbrainiac

#5 Jul 25th 2007, 9:29pm
Bryden
Too be honest... I am starting to think of returning to the older story and perhaps incorporating a bit of what happens in the newer into the older... like eliminating certain cliches and adding a bit more detail to the world. The more and more I think about it I do regret leaving the older story because it -did- have life in it. The second sounds to me like a pure narration and I'm at a point in the newer story where... I do not know where to go lol.
#6 Jul 26th 2007, 3:44am
Girlbrainiac
Heehee. Recycling is FUN! That sounds like a good plan of attack. Don't delete the new one, though... You never know when something from it might inspire you to write something else, or write it differently.

Girlbrainiac

#7 Jul 26th 2007, 7:36am

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