Author has written 2 stories for General, and General.

All my friends are poets, yet I write Vogon poetry! 0_0
-- Basilisk

---

Figure- "(thinking to himself) Hmm…how shall I get thine attention back from the "Vegetable that was Gandalf"?"

The Figure raises a long shimmering, distinctively Elvish sword. The Figure’s UBER cloak flutters in the sunlight that briefly appears over the horizon.

Aragorn-" (quickly standing up from his long nap with Sam) I RECOGNIZE THAT CLOAK!"

Frodo-"(raises eyebrow) Only you Aragorn, only you (shakes head)"

The briefly appearing sunlight starts to grow behind The Figure as the storm retreats. The light finally is powerful enough to shed just enough light upon the Figure’s profile.

All, save Gandalf, Legolas, and Sam-"It’s HALDIR!"

Gandalf-"(gurgle)"

Figure-"Yes, It is I, the Haldir of your Dreams…back from the pits of New Line Cinema’s Helm’s Deep, much to the happiness of Basilisks the world over!"

All-"(odd looks)"

Haldir- "I was visiting Rivendell when some (oddly displaced) fangirl begged me to go and give Legolas this vital information, as she put it. So, I set out of Rivendell to deliver Legolas a message which he most certainly didn’t get because of my unfortunate bad luck with technology."

(The Fellowship nods awkwardly, trying to figure out what was more out of cannon, a fangirl in middle earth or Haldir driving a bus.)

-- Majic Lawn Gnome