“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

--Henry David Thoreau

"If the reason you breathe is the goal that you see, then you'll never be satisfied. Cause what's the reward when perfection is flawed and the best you can do falls wide?"

--Hellen Trevillion, "The Message"

"Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along. Who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?"

--Lee Ann Womack, "I Hope You Dance"

"You're hiding under water. I pray to God, wash me away. Can't hear the child's wonder. The innocence got hushed along the way. No I won't take you for granted. These broken arms can hold you still. No I won't leave you abandoned. This broken heart can love you still."

-Beth Hart, "Hiding Under Water"

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

-William James

"In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up."

-Martin Niemoeller

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

-William Shakespeare

“God doesn’t care what you call yourself. He’s not impressed with Catholic, Protestant, Methodist, Episcopalian, Baptist, Lutheran… Those are words that people made up, and they mean nothing to God…nothing. He sees right through all that stuff, into your heart. It’s not about church, it’s not about doing a list of activities, and it’s not about calling yourself a particular name or going through some particular ritual. It’s much more personal than that.”

-Vic Mignogna

"It's a lie. There's nobody needed in this world. Nobody. Not a single person. Parents, teachers, great men and women, kids or adults, me. The world doesn't need any of us. The world doesn't care who lives and who dies. It still keeps bringing days and nights and time. I'm sure that the world doesn't need anyone. What a miserable fate. It's so lonely and depressing. I'm sure that's why people search for one another. They need that. They want to need and be needed. They need someone who'll fit that."

-Kyoko from "Fruits Basket"

"I don't have the time for a drink from the cup. Let's rest for a while 'till our souls catch us up. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song. I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong. We pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on."

-Susan Enan "Bring on the Wonder"

"The only things I ever did were for myself. I only cared about my penance. I only said what I wanted to say. And through everything, I've ignored your feelings. And sometimes you never get the chance to apologize to someone. I knew that, but if I'm just going to repeat the same thing, how's that any different...than not knowing at all?"

-From "Fruits Basket" volume 21

"I wish I could have lived my life without making any wrong turns. But that's impossible. A path like that doesn't exist. We fall. We trip. We get lost. We make mistakes. And little by little, one step at a time, we push forward. It's all we can do on our own two feet. Even if we get a little banged up, someday we'll reach something...we'll reach someone...we pray."

-"Fruits Basket" Volume 21

11/5/09

So...it's suddenly November, and nothing seems to have changed. The next chapter of The Last Judgement is almost done, really. There's just two sections left to write (I wrote the second to last part first. I decided to go out of order). I meant to get it done before NaNoWriMo, but then time kept escaping me. Apparently my time managment skills suck and I thoroughly underestimated my addiction to fanfiction.

Yes, I'm still horribly addicted to Merlin, and the second season is pure awesome. Not a single episode I don't like thus far, and I look forward to them like candy. I've found a bunch of awesome fanfiction too, which has kept me thoroughly entertained.

Work still sucks. School has gotten more nerve wracking, and I have about a hundred things to worry about, and so I've been completely swamped mentally. Can't keep much straight and I keep forgetting things that I really shouldn't. To top it all off, I'm always exhausted lately. Lack of sleep mixed with anxiety is not a good combination.

I'm trying though. Come March, when school is over, my life should settle down a little. And I'll try to update in November around my NaNo story, though I make no promises. I'm not very good at keeping them, unfortunately.

I suppose I'd like to put this here, but if ever anyone wants to email me or instant message me, you are free to do so. I like talking to people :) I only have msn messenger though...

Well, I suppose I can put this here, but if you wanna look at some of my artwork, it's at deviantart. Just go here http://kitai-matsuru.deviantart.com/gallery/

And here's my friend's gallery. This is the link to the picture of Salel she drew, and you can easily access the rest of her pictures here. http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/38207327/

I now have a facebook! It's under my real name of course, not my authors name.

I also have a youtube account, though I haven't posted any videos yet. That one's under my authors name.

ULTIMATE UNO

If ever uno was too boring for you, then try this. It's the game me and my cousins played...for over an hour with no victor.

Rules:
-When you have to draw a card, you keep drawing until you get one you can play
-You may not play a wild unless you absolutely can not play anything else.
-When a person lays down a draw two, the next person must draw two cards of the color of the card, so if the person played a blue draw two, you have to keep drawing until you get two blue cards.
-When a person plays a draw four and picks a color, the next person must keep drawing until they get four cards of the color that the other person chose. Drawing twenty cards to accomplish this is normal.
-When a person has more than ten cards, they can discard two each turn that they have over ten. If they have twenty, they can discard four each turn that they have over twenty, and if they have thirty, they can discard six each turn that they have over thirty...and so on and so forth.
-Playing two reverses in a row (meaning you would have at least over ten cards) makes it your turn again (I got rid of sixteen cards in one go by continuously pulling this stunt).

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Update Section
Biography
Story listing, My Writing
Anime/Manga bits
Quotes/sayings
Closing

UPDATE SECTION

Chapter 74 of Advocate: TLJ added on 7/04/09

BIOGRAPHY

Hi :) First off, I'll introduce myself! I am Kitai Matsuru, the duellist master! (The duellist master of what...I really don't know.)

Real name: Aurora (literally). I won't give out my full name though...and feel free to call me by a nickname if you want. People call me Kitai, Koneko, Roary, Rora-chan, Au...yeah, don't ask about that last one. My gym teacher gave it to me...
Age: 22, though I don't feel any older...
Gender: Female
Residence: Northern USA (will not mention where)
Birthday: January 8th
School stuff: I got my AA degree, and now I'm going for my bachelors in business administration with a concentration in accounting.
Personality: I honestly don't know how to describe myself, as I can garantee that anyone you ask who knows me will give you a different answer. I'm loud, I'm quiet, I'm open, I'm closed, I love people, I dislike people, I'm bitter, I'm happy, etc. You get the idea. I guess I'm a pretty nice person, but my inner voice is quite bitter and angry and tends to hold grudges. Let's just say that I'm incredibly patient and really good at controlling and/or smothering the anger I end up feeling.
Dating status: Single and loving it :)
Religion: Christian, with some Taoism thrown in there.
LIKES: Anime, video games, chocolate, candy, writing, being around people, being alone, chocolate, my friends, going to church, being out with my family, shopping, anime, chocolate, reading fanfiction, manga, and bishounen.
DISLIKES: A lot of foods, doing speeches, doing homework, stupid drivers, not having money, working, the sound of knuckles cracking, not getting to eat chocolate...and lastly, those clingy (emotionally and physically) people.
PHOBIAS: I decided to add a small list of phobias. I don't have many, but there are a few (don't know if they're really phobias...more like things I'm afraid of or really, really don't like doing). Here we go: Talking on the phone or calling people (hate it. I'm an email person. my mom says I have phonephobia), big dogs (there's a good reason behind that one), being lonely (lonely does not mean alone. I like being alone), thunder storms with wind (can't sleep during them), getting my hands dirty (this might be my only OCD. I wash my hands whenever anything gets on them. When I wash dishes at work, i have to wear gloves. I won't do it otherwise, and even with them I'm paranoid).

Fav Music: basically anything rock, pop, or country. I also really like classical, instrumental, band songs, jazz, broadway, and techno/trance. I don't like most hip hop, rap, and R&B.
Some of my favorite artists are Nickelback, Bon Jovi, Robert Miles, Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, Celine Dion, Linkin Park, Ayumi Hamazaki, Aaron Copland, Creed, Alanis Morisette, Faith Hill, Martina Mcbride, Angela Aki, Fuel, Evanescence...etc etc...it would take forever to list them all.

TOP 12 favorite songs at the moment: (I picked twelve because...well...I couldn't make up my mind :)
My songs changed! Again! They do that a lot, because it seems that each day I find another song to fall in love with :) These aren't in any particular order.
1. "Cinderella" by Helen Trevillion
2. "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin
3. "Lost Realist" by Trapt
4. "Hareruya" by Angela Aki
5. "The Resolution" by Jack's Mannequin
6. "Spinning" by Jack's Mannequin
7. "Never Alone" by BarlowGirl
8. "Look Through My Eyes" by Phil Collins
9. "If I Am" by Nine Days
10. "As Long As I Fall" by Helloween
11. "Happy Ending" by Mika
12. "Declaration" by David Cook

TV shows: I rarely ever watch TV, but I love the Disney channel and Nickelodeon. I'll watch almost anything from those two channels. I also like a lot of ongoing shows too. Here's my list.
1. Bones
2. Kyle XY
3. Numbers
4. Law and Order: SVU (I watch it on occasion)
5. Eureka
6. Psych
7. Two and a half Men (not a family show, but man is it hillarious!).
8. Eli Stone
9. In Plain Sight
10. MERLIN!! (My new obsession)

Movies: I have a lot of favorite movies (although I don't actually watch many). My absolute favorite would have to be Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. It's just so stupid that it's hilarious! I also really like Serenity. I'm a huge FireFly fan, and I absolutely love the movie. Some others are anything Disney that's a cartoon (especially The Emperor's New Groove. That's one of my favorites) I also like The Matrix, National Treasure, Independence Day (basically all disaster movies...), and I really like Simply Irresistable. I know there's more, but I don't remember right now. I also really like watching comedians. Thou Shalt Laugh is my favorite comedy DVD.

FUTURE ASPIRATIONS: Well, apparently I have to own my own house someday, and it must have a basement so that when my friend is a poor, starving English major, she can come and live with me...

STORY LISTING, MY WRITING

Ah, this is my little author section where i get to mention my books:) Here is the list thus far, going in order that they were written/first put up.

Demon Awakening
Legend
My Sacrifice
A Light in the Dark
One Life
Advocate
Advocate: The Last Judgement
The Broken Syphon (just started it :)

So far, I've finished Demon Awakening, My Sacrifice, A Light in the Dark, and Advocate. If I may make a suggestion, don't read Demon Awakening or Legend right now (or at least don't read them and base my writing skill off that) Those two stories will be rewritten eventually. I'll probably leave Legend up and then just post the newer version separately (cause there are so many differences with the new version I have planned that it would be impossible to just replace the chapters...and I dont wanna remove the story itself.)

My current project is working on the sequel to Advocate and also revising the original Advocate, which is a slow and painful process :(

And now, a bit about my writing. First off, I love cliffhangers, so you can be expecting plenty. Next, I like foreshadowing. Therefore I like keeping things secret and just hinting at them in the beginning (some people apparently don't understand this, because they've complained about how i introduce something and then don't explain it. What would be the point in giving away all the plot enhancers and character developments at the beginning of the story?)
Also, I'm what you'd call an impulse writer. What does that mean? It's simple. I write completely on impulse. I get a random idea and just go with it, making up the story as I go along. Occasionally chapters will have been planned out long before i write them, but most of the stuff i just come up with while I'm writing.
Lastly, all of my stories are in the Third Person Omnicient. What does that mean? Well, I'll tell you. It's where you get to see things through multiple characters instead of just one, like in the first person and third person limited. Therefore...please do NOT complain when i state something that the readers probably already are aware of, because usually in my paragraphs where i do that, I'm writing through a character, and they obviously don't know what's going on. I'm not incompetent. I know it's repetitive, but when you're seeing things through every character, that can happen a little. So please don't criticize me for that, k?

IMPORTANT: This is a note to those who give me constructive critisism. I'm sorry for always lashing out at you guys when you do, but it's my nature, and there's a good reason for it. I started actually writing in my junior year of high school. I've only been doing it for a little over three years, and I think I've come a long way. Looking at Demon Awakening (my first story) and Advocate: The Last Judgement (my current story), I've made a great deal of improvement, and what makes that so important to me is that I achieved it by my own power, using only the few pieces of advice that my writing teachers have given me. I made that improvement on my own, and I believe in accomplishing things by my own power. This is the reason why I don't read books (and why I don't study for anything). I like seeing what I can do on my own. I've often been told that i need to read books in order to become a better writer, but I want to prove that ideology wrong. I don't want anything to influence my own style, and so I don't read. However, I want constructive criticism, because I know I probably need it, even if I don't want it. Keeping all this in mind, you can probably see why I get defensive and lash out at those whose basic intentions are just to help. I'm simply asking that you please not get mad and just accept it. It's who I am. That's not going to change.

TO THE REVIEWERS: I know I've mentioned this before during Advocate: TLJ, but I wanna make a general note about it. There is something I don't want people commenting on, and that's my grammar. A lot of people tend to be surprised about how few grammar mistakes I make, and most of them are honest mistakes where it's a slip of the keys or I get ahead of myself while writing. To be blunt, I'm a grammar nut. There is not a rule in grammar you can bring up that I probably don't know something about it. It's my forte, so unless you are one hundred percent sure that I'm wrong, you can say something, but otherwise don't pick at it. Also, keep in mind that fiction writing is different from formal writing. The same rules do not always aply.

ANIME/MANGA

I'm really big into anime and manga. It's great for inspiration. I have a few fics on fanficiton, so please go check them out if you can.

Anime: I have seen more than I could ever fit here. It'd take up too much space, so to save myself from that, I'll just post my top twelve favorites in order. I've seen probably over fifty different series (I made a list but i don't know where it is right now). So here's my top ten favorites :) It changed a bit recently, so here's the new and improved list.
1. Zoids Shinseiki /0 also known as Zoids New Century Zero
2. Fullmetal Alchemist
3. Bleach
4. Full Metal Panic
5. Black Cat
6. Yu-Gi-Oh (preferably uncut and Japanese)
7. Trigun
8. Cowboy Bebop
9. Yami no Matsuei
10. Inuyasha
11. Dragon Ball Z
12. Digimon (dont' laugh. I really like it)

Seiyuu (voice actors): I thought it'd be a good idea to list my favorite voice actors, for both Japanese and English anime, so here goes.
English: Richard Ian Cox, Vic Mignogna, Luci Christian, and Kelly Sheridan
Japanese: Tomokazu Seki, Kappei Yamaguchi, Houko Kuwashima, and Satsuki Yukino.

And...here's a list of my top ten favorite manga :)
1. Fullmetal Alchemist (In my opinion, it's way better than the anime.)
2. Fruits Basket (It's way better than the anime, since the manga keeps going and doesn't just cut off like the anime did.)
3. Rave Master (The manga is just better. That's all there is to it. The story doesn't get cut off, and when people get injured, they actually bleed!)
4. Full Metal Panic!
5. Tsubasa and XXXHolic (I'm linking them together cause they play off of each other. You really shouldn't read one without the other.)
6. Inuyasha (the manga is great! It's really long, probably one of the longest I've ever seen)
7. Chibi Vampire (I loved the anime Karin, and the manga is so good and a little darker)
8.Dragon Knights (a truly dark series, but I like it alot. It's got action, character deaths, and lots more that I find appealing. It's a good series :)
9.Alice 19th (again, big shoujo fan, and a huge fan of Yuu Watase)
10. Yu-Gi-Oh (oh my gosh, it's the best! Absolutely the best! It's so terribly violent and not anywhere near as corny as the dubbed anime)

Alright, and now to end this little section, here's my top twelve favorite video games! I love video games.
1. Final fantasy VIII (my favorite game ever!)
2. Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2
3. Phoenix Wright (or Gyakuten Saiban, whatever you wanna call it). I love them all!
4. Mischief Makers
5. Final fantasy IX
6. Final fantasy VII
7. Chrono Trigger
8. Skies of Arcadia
9. Grandia II
10. Fire Emblem (I've only played two of them though...)
11. The "Tales" games: Destiny, Eternia, Abyss, Radiant Mythology (we own all of them except for a few that weren't released here and then Vesperia, because me and my sis don't have a 360). I did buy both Destiny 2 and Tempest in Japanese, though I haven't played either.

Now, just some fun stuff, like quotes and sayings, said by me or other people :)

"Being cocky leads to downfalls" (oh, if only you knew how true it is)

"You can't lose if you never get hit" (a definite rule in video games.)

"Always do what you're afraid to do." ( I read this somewhere...)

"It's alright to be selfish sometimes."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to" -said by my friend Eric when I was at Valleyfair.

"I will not be controlled" (my personal mantra)

"There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. All there is is Hitsuzen (necessity)" (from Cardcaptors/xxxHolic/Tsubasa chronicles)

And now some fun ones :)
"That's the sound you make when your best friend takes a gun and stabs you in the back right in front of your eyes!" -said by Shawn from "Boy meets world"

"The rhythm was wrong, it was out of tune, you were rushing, and there were a lot of wrong notes, but other than that it was great!" -said by my band director about our band during practice...yeah, sometimes we need a lot of work...

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." -bumper sticker.

"The world is more fun when you're psycho." -My sister

"You can't dampen the enthusiasm of a moron." -Seto Kaiba in the Yu-Gi-Oh manga

"Okay? I figure I've lost my mind, but I'm gonna go with it." -Joey Wheeler from the Yu-Gi-Oh anime

"Bullying is just wrong. Destroying people's brains with magical powers is aokay." -Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged series

"Screw the rules, I have money!" -Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged series
"Screw the money, I have rules! ...Wait, let me try that again." -Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Movie

"Why weren't you sensored anyway? I mean, what, guns are bad, but crossdressing princesses are aokay?" -Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged series

"I learned from Phill and Opera, yet everything comes up Springer. I'm a fraud, a Phopra" -Hillary from Kyle XY

"You were there in spirit, and your spirit needed pie" -My friend Anessa

"Exploding limbs. Not good" -my friend Alicia

"Yaoi with emotionally traumatized pretty boys is aokay" my sister (No, she is not really a yaoi fan but yes, I am a yaoi fan).

Anyway, i suppose that's about it for me. I'll slowly add stuff to this as time goes on, but for now it's fine. Anyway, i hope you liked it. Now you know a little bit more about me, and yes, i'm insane. Maybe later on I'll put up what inspired my stories (then you'll really think that there's something wrong with me...)

Jaa, mata atode (see you later)!