Author has written 1 story for Haiku.

STAN: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you tonight to Occasional Madness, a random event that happens once in a blue moon, and which features a young girl with no true perspective on reality. She is, ladies and gentlemen, completely mad. Please join me in welcoming...Starless Night.

*scattered, half-assed applause*

STARLESS NIGHT: Thank you, thank you. Wow, it's almost a full house tonight, Stan.

STAN: *whispers* They're here for the free beer.

STARLESS NIGHT: Right. Well. Thank you for coming, everyone. For my first poem, I will be reading something I wrote when I was seventeen years old. Man, those were some good times. Anywho, it's called "Like Toast, Like Me." *clears throat*

If only I were like a toaster, how lovely that would be...

EVERYONE: Boo!

MAN: Get off the stage!

STAN: Wow, you lasted ten whole seconds this time. Good job. Next time, ladies and gentlemen, we will be featuring random poetry from a random audience member. Bring your brain well stocked, as we will shoot you should you bring any paper up here. Have a great day!