May 7th, 2010: Wow, it's been a long time since I've been here! I feel so nostalgic. I'd always wanted to finish Project Goddess, but I think I may have outgrown it. It's hard to believe I started writing that in Grade 8. How fun. For now, it's just going to sit there, collecting dust. It's poorly written, but I don't have the heart to take it down, poor thing.

This summer is affording me a lot more personal time then I'm used to. I am toying with the idea of revamping These Bloody Fangs of Mine, simply because I feel the need to do something comedic to balance out all these ridiculous vampire trends. I mean, sparklepires? Seriously? I have something new in the works, a horror/humour/romance/supernatural kind of thing, which will be impossible to place correctly. Meh.

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A Vague Biography

Age: I’m old compared to the life span of leg-warmers as a fashion trend, but young when put beside the ones that wore them.

Appearance: It has been said that if Jessica Rabbit and Ellen Degeneres could procreate, I would be their red-headed love child. This both flatters and worries me tremendously. I am 177.8 cm tall and 62 kilograms. I wear glasses and contacts, although rarely at the same time. I am right-handed, left-minded, and ambidextrously souled. Or so says my last fortune cookie.

Handicaps: My mouth is too fast for my head and too slow for my words. I suffer from chronic oppression, and as a result I often have a wishbone where a backbone ought to be. I am forever at the mercy of clever people, because being clever is always easier than being honest, or being right.

Religion: I don't believe in it. I don't think God does either.

Love Life: You bet I do. In fact, I have a very strong attachment to life, and-- even after watching Last Samurai and being wooed by the temptation of ritual suicide (they make it look so bloody honourable; it’s like a promotional ad for offing yourself)--we continue to enjoy an open and casual relationship.

Political stance: Simultaneously enraged and apathetic, THC-filled, with a wide lean to the left and a slice of lemon.

Things I Am Amused By: The texture of rice pudding. Cynicism. Bearded men with odd glasses. Ups and downs, lefts and rights, odds and ends, nooks and crannies. I love artificial in every flavour but people. Old great horror movies, old bad horror movies, and the occasional off-key chick flick. Good books, the kinds that affect me like a disaster. Photography, although I doubt I’ll ever stop being rubbish at it. Cartoons that remain 2D. I happen to enjoy a good question mark, as well as the nifty small things found only in odd places. I indulge in a cliché every other Tuesday.

Banes of My Existence: High heels, nail polish. People who grow up too fast and those who don’t grow up at all. Spiders, although I know they don’t do it on purpose. Muzak. Sweat pants with elastics around the ankles. Telemarketers. Littering. Dryers that always manage to eat one sock out of every pair. Biographies. Fake cheer, 'niceties', and women over 60 who wear too much perfume. Also, I think if teen angst is going to commit suicide, it should just hurry up and get on with it (I know a nice film that would help).

To sum myself up, I’m a simple girl with many a delusion who’s only desire is simply to walk through life instead of being dragged through it.