Author has written 9 stories for General, and Humor.

I need to redo my bio here...my last one wasn't all that good.

Real Name: Maria ******(like I'm gonna tell you my last name?)

Nicknames: Ria, RiRi, Pumkin(mother), Dopey(mother), Wild Child(from my fav shirt), Ria-butt(don't ask), and many others that cannot be mentioned because of people cussing me out.

Age: 15

Gender: Look at my first name and guess...

Appearence: I have two...One is how I really look and the other is my ff.net self.
How I look in real life: Short, reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, light tan complexion, and sorta average height and build.
How I wish I looked: Chin length black hair with a red tint, green eyes with red flecks, tan complexion, middle-height and slim, wearing black, baggy guys jeans, black tanktop, a long billowing cloak, and a platinum dragon armband on left arm.

Fave TV show: X-Files (so bite me if it's not on anymore, I'll watch re-runs)

Fave Artists/Bands: Creed, Pink, Linkin Park, Among Thieves, Enya, Nickelback, Fuel, Dirty Vegas, and many I cannot think of right now...

Fave Song: Running Away by Hoobastank

Fave Game: Look at the majority of my ficcys and guess...

What I like: Food, torturing my little bro, horses, cats, torturing GS characters, writing stories, writing poems, drawing(you wouldn't want to see), reading, writing crazy reviews, food, drill teams, colorguard(y'know...the ones that carry the American Flag, NOT the one that twirls pastel colored flags *shudders*), soccer, play fighting with my friends, watching cartoons(yes, I still watch cartoons, live with the fact that you know that now), playing on the computer, surfing the web, food, exibition weapon drill(throwing a fifteen pound fake weapon around hoping that it won't hit me), annoying my best friend of two years(my muse is a real person), and a certain special lieutenant who will become my Cadet Commander.

Things I don't like(we'll be here a while): Onions, peppers, rotten milk, a guy named Adam, people faking to fit in, non-constructive-criticism flames where people cuss you out for holding your own opinion, big egos, people who show off their huge egos, people who are proud of their huge egos, sexists, racists, spiders, people who have the nerve to voice their opinion then say you don't have the right to hold yours, Osama Bin Laden(yes I'm an American), running three miles or more, boards(a military thing, don't ask), people who scream at me and tell me I'm going to Hell because I don't go to church and don't read the Bible regularly(I'm going to Hell anyway so I really shouldn't care), losing(who doesn't?), people who gloat when they win, stains on my clothes, cleaning my room, being told to drag my sorry arse off the computer, not getting reviews(hinthint), writer's block, pens that run out of ink at the worst possible opportunity, pencils that break after having run out of ink, tests, studying, homework, teachers that lie about things that happened before my very own eyes, History, Debate class, and I'll stop now.

I have two muses: 1.) is Bit Cloud from Zoids(I do NOT own Zoids so DO NOT sue me!!!!) and 2.) David whom is modeled after my best friend.

~*$11/22/02$*~
Me: You must be in love with torturing yourself if you've come back again...*eye twitches*
David: *eyes Onyx nerviously* *scoots away out of striking distance very slowly*
Bit: *continues to sit smiling vacantly, completely oblivious as to what's going on* *starts playing with dust on floor*
Me: *looks at Bit blankly* *eye twitches some more*
Bit: *remains oblivious* *mumbles while holding one piece of dust in each hand* Go Lyger Zero! Get that Backdraft moron!
David: *starts scooting away faster* *begins sweating nerviously*
Me: *eye twiches like mad and gets red faced*
Bit: *takes both dust balls and mashes them together while making various battle sounds*
David: *all out dashes for cover*
Me: RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! *flips out* *pulls out 24-inch frying pan of death from Mary-Poppin's space* KISAMA YOU INSOLENT FOOL!!!! DDIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!! *whacks Bit upside head*
Bit: WWWAAAHHHH!!!! *.X OoOwWwW... ;_; what was that for Onyx?!
Me: For free. Why, you want me to charge you?
Bit: Humph...you dun have to be so mean! I'm gonna tell Leena on you!
Me: I REALLY don't think she'll care Bit. In fact, I think she'll beat you up for whining...
Bit: YOU...! You big fat bully!
Me: Bring it on sissy boy!
Bit: Egos first!
Me: *flips out again* *this time pulls out Flamethrower of Author Gods(FoAG)* MESS WITH ME NOW YOU PREPPY BLONDE!!!
Bit: *screams like a girl* EEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! *runs away back stage*
Me: *yells after Bit* THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WUSS!!!
David: *snickers*
Me: And you...*glares at David*
David: 0.0 *gulp...* *hunkers down in hiding spot*
Me: *starts laughing insanely* You can't hide from my Author powers! I know where you are! Or are you afraid Navy-boy?
David: *stands up rebelliously* I RESENT THAT REMARK!!!!!
Me: More like resemble it...
David: Grr...
Me: *grins and seems to froth at mouth* Pay back's a Biyatch ain't it Prep?
David: What did I do THIS time?!
Me: You smacked my @$$ and I could'nt sit down for an hour, THAT'S what!
David: You had that coming! It was for those two nicknames you call me all the time!
Me: What? Navy-boy and Prep?
David: Yup.
Me: ...
David: ?_?
Me: But the Navy is gay and I haven't seen you get a girlfriend yet so it makes me wonder. And you do nothing to disprove my opinion...And you wore the black people's preppy clothing. And you're a punk!
David: *in horrified voice* OONNNYYYXXX!!!!!
Me: *ignores David's protests* *suddenly brightens up* *pinches David's nipples* TITTY-TWISTER!!!!
David: *starts crying in both pain and frustration* I GIVE UP!!!
Me: YAY! I WIN!!!! ^-^
David: *walks to corner to sulk* *glares at Onyx*

Some Quotes to Leave You With:
"If you can smile when things go wrong then you have someone in mind to blame." -Anonymous **How true...>=)**

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'" -Isaac Asimov **It's like a Murphy's Law or something ya know?**

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself." Peter O'Toole **Muahahaha...this has to be one of the best ones**

"Not really, since we don't suffer from the visual impairment induced by a thick layer of highly misplaced rectal cells." -Bob Beauchaine **Think about it for a second...**

"People like you are the reason people like me take pills!" ---Neva Faith Linn **read and learn well evil flamers**

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'" ---Unknown **This IS me and my best friend Jasmine**

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy." ---Unknown **In no way do I look forward to having kids and letting them near my mother...(shudders)**

"How I see it is that men get one night of pleasure, and we get nine months of putting them through hell and getting away with it." ---Sara Swank **I like this...I can actually look forward to having kids!**

"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare." ---Ed Asner **...but then again maybe not...**