Domnant Quod Non Intelligunt
"They condem that which they do not understand".
Like the name says, I.am.a.walking.contradiction.
I am an artist. Maybe not in the normal way, but I am an artist with my words.
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I have lived 18 crazy.wonderful.amazing.chaotic. years and seen more than most will see in a lifetime. I have experienced life from the high end, of money and having everything you could ever need or desire right there at your finger tips, all the way down to the other end, with a cold street corner and having nothing more than the clothes on your back. Don't pity me though. If I could go back and do it all again, I.WOULD. I have no regrets and hold no grudges. I have taken everything life has handed me and kept on moving.
I have had the kind of love most people only dream about...only to find out that it was all lies and very elaborately spun web of deception. I gave my heart willingly and watched as it was stopmed on and broken into a thousand little tiny pieces on the ground right before me. So if you come to me with your fairytales of love and the prince on a horse coming to your rescue I just might laugh in your face. That kind of delusion doesn't exist. No, love is what you choose to make it. I will no longer deny my sexuality, or any part of me just to make others happy. You can only get out of a relationship that which you put in it...trust is more important than monogamy.
At one point or another most of who I am and what I stand for has come under attack. Good! If who I am was just accepted with no questions then I would be worried. If I make you uncomfortable by how I live my life or by what I believe in I have a very simple solution for you...don't.talk.to.me. Then you neither waste my time or yours. Frankly I could care less about your time, but mine is actually quite valuable to me.
I had a sheltered childhood. I was raised in a family that was determined to protect me from the "big.bad.world". Well their plan obviously backfired, as that plan ALWAYS does. *NEWSFLASH* the world is not all rainbows and happy bunnies, no matter how much we would like it to be. There is pain, betrayel, anger, greed and many other emotions that they don't teach you...those you have to learn about all on your own. All my family did is make me wonder more about what was actually out there and I was determined to find out.....drugs.boys.girls.sex.rockandroll. I found out about those and more in the whirlwind that was my adolescence. By the time I crashed back down to earth all that was left of my former bright and shinning future was a trail of destruction and lies that I had left behind me. Like the wake of a hurrican, I had destroyed entirely who I was before leaving only fragments behind me. It was at this point in my life that I turned inwards. Finding music and writting. I became a caccooon sheltering myself this time around. From the pain of this harsh, harsh world. To be honest I hated the world and everyone in it and I was convinced that they felt the same way towards me.
But, now I have emerged. A butterfly with new wings, still slightly fragile, tainted slightly by the pain I brought through to the other side with me. I have my walls built high and not many people will have what it takes to scale them and even fewer will have that spark that I see where I am willing to let down my door and let them freely walk into this world that I live in. But don't take any of this as weakness or anger. I am stronger than I have ever been before and I hold no anger towards the world anymore. I am ready for whatever this insane, crazy world can throw at me. I am ready for the ride.
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