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| Everyone's Aunt Sheila |
Author has written 34 stories for General, Romance, General, Love, and Action. I welcome all reviews especially criticism. Seriously...diss me all you want! Open season!
I got kinda tired of Chicken Picante and Silver Schlampe and Eefing Pearls, so I decided to change it. Intersting quotes...
"How old is Fuck...I MEAN HUCK!!!" (this kid in my friend's English class)
"Hi, my name is Katie, and the Math Team stole my backpack!" -a girl in our class who actually did have her backpack stolen by the Math Team by mistake when they went on a field trip to a tournament.
"Get this down or I'll break your monotony!" -my chemistry teacher to a smart-ass who was rambling on about monotonous people. (Robert Allen)
"Now, friends, 'Intelli-Mouse' down with the little gray rubber scroll button, and click on 'Update'" -the school librarian who really was meant to be a elementary school librarian. you would THINK that an HONORS ALGEBRA II CLASS WOULD KNOW HOW TO USE A DAMN COMPUTER!!!
"Why am I shaking?" "Beacuse you're horny" -exchange between me and a classmate (I'm the second person). it became the joke of the day.
"Kurt Cobain looks kinda...grungy." -Mariana after seeing his picture for the first time
"Who wrote Huck Finn? Tom Sawyer?" -my smart-as-hell dad
"That remote is the best!" "I like it because it has a REJECT button!" -a dialogue between a funny kid (Evan Kaiser) and my bio teacher. it was actually hilarious
"I have one eye to read and one eye to look for gum...Britney!" -my bio teacher explaining how one eye has one type of contact and the other has a different type.
"I'm not easily amused...look! It's a blue car!" -Evan again
"Peanut butter is polar, isn't it? Because when you stick your hand in it, it's hard to wash off..." "When did you wake up and where were you?" -dialogue between a slightly off in the head kid (Nikesh) and my chem teacher
"And I was like, 'If you throw my shoes in the yard, I will kill you,' because they were American Eagle and you know how expensive those are..." -a preppy biotch in my drama class (Britney Owen)
"Every object in the universe is attracted to each other. So I am attracted to you" -Capt'n Bob aka history teacher (explaining the law of universal gravity
"When I was little, I played 'Hump the Cat!'" -Evan
"Jesus knows his body parts!" -Camille about Tullen and the "nape of the neck incident"
"That would make a good show..'Body Parts With Jesus!'" -Jayme
"No! He could still be bi!" "He, he, 'Bye, bye, bye!'" -Omelette and Becbutt
"Diglet is bi...no, Dugtrio is tri!" -Omelette
"Did you just say 'hee hee?'" -Jesus/Tullen
"A sperm cell is a glorious example of a specialized cell!" -Mrs. Cell (bio teacher)
"You get your cytoplasm from your mom..." "Thanks, mom!" "Hey, I was gonna say that!" -Mrs. Cell, Abram, and Ian
"I'm really bored right now...I'm reading about testicles!" -Shanna
"'I'm not easily amused...Look! A blue car!' Oh my God, two blue cars just passed us!" -becbutt
"I lost my teddy bear...Will you sleep with me?" -Zane
"I don't have the testicular fortitude to do that because I don't have testicles!" -me
"If you stick a piece of cheese up your nose, it won't turn into gas..." -Nikesh in my Chem class
"I think I like any conversation that begins with 'If you stick a piece of cheese up your nose...'" -Robert, also in my Chem class
Some things about me...
I took this quiz and it said, "You're a completely hateful, shallow bastard. Go you, fuck yeah." How Hateful Are You? brought to you by Quizilla I'm fifteen I'd be a straight-A student if it weren't for chemistry, which I'm taking a year earlier than usual I seem to get along with a variety of people I am one of the few people that the "silent guy" at our school talks to I can listen to hard rock cranked up all the way with headphones on without busting my eardrums (and it's pretty loud) Ever seen European joints? They are rolled up pretty funky... (this isn't about me, but who cares) Fav movie: Not Another Teen Movie (prob. b/c of the guys I saw it with ;)) Fav song at the moment: "Bring Me Down" by Evanesence Song that best describes my life: "Freak on a Leash" by Korn CD in my player is: "Iowa" by Slipknot What I'm wearing: extra large T-shirt and old jeans that got ripped in two places in the back when I climbed over a fence to get to the dike to sled My love life sucks My sex life isn't all that bad My parents won't let me learn how to drive, so I'm probably gonna get one of my friends to teach me My parents won't let me date a "redneck," even though he is the sweetest guy in the world My parents won't let me date period because they think I'm not over James My parents don't even know that I've "gone far" with a couple of guys AFTER James I hate my parents Cool stuff: Humpty Dumpty is about King Charles I being beheaded Mary, Mary quite contrary is about a girl named Mary getting beheaded Ring Around the Rosie is about the Black Death London Bridge is Falling Down is about London Bridge being torn apart so the Viking (?) ships could get through Rockabye baby is about some other catholic english king falling from his throne but having a mysterious son Catherine the Great, a famous Russian empress of the 1700s, was screwing a horse when it fell over on top of her and killed her. Random guys I think are hot: the guy that played Benedict (Much Ado About Nothing) and Billis (South Pacific) in the University plays Owen Wilson the guy who played Gary on Early Edition the guy who played the Canadian mountaineer (can't remember his name right now...) on Due South the guy who played William Tell on The Legend of William Tell Jay Reso (only back when he was in The Brood (you wrestling fans know what I'm talking about) the singer for Collective Soul (also can't remember his name) Kurt Cobain my cousin's ex-boyfriend my cousin's ex-boyfriend's best friend Van off of Fastlane the other dude off that show that I can't remember the name of Joey off of Slipknot and Murderdolls Random people who freak me out: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!!!!!! Christina Aguliera (sp?) the wierd-looking girl off of MadTV (the one that plays the slutty characters and idiotic girls) Mrs. Puritans Twood (say NO to Twood!) the Osmonds Becki-wan's brother (Lettuce Boy) Omelet's brother most of my friends male contortionists who give themselves BJs people who watch "Furniture Porn" I...I'll shut up now... | |||||||
1. Alone I Break » reviewsThis was on my FFN account before I accidentally deleted it. The song is by Korn, and it is eefing awesome. This story actually was the inspiration for my FFN (now FNP/FPN) account.Action - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,441 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-3-03 - Published: 3-3-032. Don't Leave Me Loving You reviewsI just wrote half of this in Algebra II and the second half in Chemistry. It kinda freaked me out when I was done, because I have no one to dedicate it to.Love - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-26-03 - Published: 2-26-033. Revenge Is Sweet reviewsI wrote this on 12-22-02, but never typed it up. I had more chapters written, but they sucked, so I threw them away.Action - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 499 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-26-03 - Published: 2-26-034. Another Chance reviewsI got asked out that day, and instead of turning him down as I did the guy who asked me out earlier this month, I accepted. I wonder how it'll turn out...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-035. My LifeA short description of everyday life for me.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-036. ContradictoryCan't get away from the damn ex...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-037. Is there someone out there for me?Oh, no!!! This one is hopeful!!! The horror!!!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-038. What Will I Become?I actually wrote this in a bathroom of the local university. It sounds weird, but hey, it's me. Whaddya expect?General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-039. My Last Chance reviewsAnother poem about the 'Longing' guy...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 290 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0310. Nobody's Ever PerfectThe guy that the 'Longing's are about wrote a poem about how perfect his girl is, so I just splurted out these lines and wrote them down.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0311. Is This Why They Call It a Crush?I know, I know, this is long and probably boring...but I needed a way to vent that day.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0312. DaddyAlso not from personal experience. Also for English. I was in a wierd mood that day, I guess...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 59 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0313. Used and AbusedThis is not from personal experience, so if I've gotten some of the feelings wrong, feel free to point them out. I wrote this for English class.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0314. Nobody to Know MeThe world is just such a wonderful place for kids these days...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0315. Dear God reviewsMy thoughts on Christianity.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0316. Longing Part IIIIf part two was obvious, part three practically screams out his name. But oh well.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0317. Christmas reviewsHow Christmas is spent in our household (and how I imagined it was spent in other households)General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0318. Longing Part II reviewsI hesitated at first before uploading this, since, well, it's obvious who the guy is. Now, I don't care if he reads this.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0319. Sick Fantasy reviewsThis is sick, I know, But I WILL NEVER ACTUALLY DO THIS IN REAL LIFE!!! IT'S JUST A FRAGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION!!!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0320. LoveThis is just a little something I wrote back in June of last year while I was still not over my ex...Love - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-24-03 - Published: 2-24-0321. Voices reviewsAnother thing about the evil voice, only this time there are many of them...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 70 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-18-02 - Published: 12-18-0222. Sluts reviewsI was in school when I wrote this, after being mooned by the prep in front of me. It was very disturbing and the PG13 rating is only for experience of the sort...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-18-02 - Published: 12-18-0223. Mrs Puritans reviews(Rated for lanuage) A name becbutt-I mean becbet-oh so lovingly called our English teacher. If all American Lit is like Anne Bradstreet, we are DOOMED!!!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-18-02 - Published: 12-18-0224. The Voice reviewsBased on personal experience. Only it didn't exactly talk in rhyme...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-12-02 - Published: 12-12-0225. Liebeskummer reviewsAnother one I unearthed recently. I get the dates from the "last modified" from the computer. I wonder if the computer just writes these and says that I did...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 106 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-12-02 - Published: 12-12-0226. Fed Up Childhood reviewsThis isn't the best, but it gets the point across of what a lovely childhood I had. Although it doesn't mention my present-less Christmases. No wonder I'm a heretic...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-12-02 - Published: 12-12-0227. We All Need Somebody to Lean On reviewsActually, we did literally lean on each other for a while, back when we were just friends, as an inside joke of some sorts. I forgot why it was funny though...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-12-02 - Published: 12-12-0228. Angel of Death reviewsI wrote the "lunch version" at school (lunch) and the "night version" right before I fell asleep...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-12-02 - Published: 12-12-0229. Sandman reviewsI got the “Sandman” from “Enter Sandman,” a Metallica song, not “Sandman” from the show Dark Angel, even though the show did kick @$$. In case you were wondering, Sandman is the devil…General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-7-02 - Published: 12-7-0230. Ritual reviewsThis is a kind of fantasy about a ritual (not Satanic-those would involve naked women as altars). This is also total randomness…General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-7-02 - Published: 12-7-0231. Ode to My Ex reviewsI really hated the guy...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-7-02 - Published: 12-7-0232. Longing reviewsI wrote this just yesterday. In the daytime. Usually daytime is the worst for me. Anyways, this is about me wanting to be with someone, but having not had good experiences in the past about love, am too chicken.Romance - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-7-02 - Published: 12-7-0233. Lesson of Life reviewsI really didn’t mean this to turn out as a fable-like thing. But, as becbet said, “It’s just where the rhyme takes you…” Um, okay…General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-7-02 - Published: 12-7-02
