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| E. M. Grinlord |
Author has written 27 stories for Fantasy, Fantasy, Humor, Humor, General, and General. By day, I am a studious college student, but by night, I am E.M. Grinlord. Grinlord is my alter ego, my mask, my second identity. Am I being a bit pretentious here? A bit of a drama queen? Yeah, probably. But we all have to fancy ourselves superheroes sometimes; something greater than ourselves. I'm probably never going to be a published author. I can try, but in my studies, I have chosen another path. A fascinating one, one I really love and believe in, but certainly not a writerly one. But again, who knows? All subjects lead back to writing. My theory is that if you study writing, you'll be a shitty writer. Learn about the cool things in the world, then write about THOSE. Nobody wants to read about writers. The real me is going in a very different direction than I once imagined. In high school, I had dreams of being a famous author. The next J. K. Rowling, or Neil Gaiman. Somehow, that changed. I didn't end up an English major. And for a long time, I left Grinlord behind. I have not exactly regained that dream, but Grinlord is still very much alive. So to honor that, sometimes, by night, I once again become Grinlord, deprive myself of sleep, and write into the odd hours and the pale dawn. Thank you for allowing me an extremely pretentious introduction. :) Sincerely enough, E.M. Grinlord | |||||||||
1. The Sock Stealer » reviewsA young monster struggles with being assigned the not-so-terrifying and humiliating task of stealing socks from the drier. Jealous of the other monster's much scarier assignments, he embarks on an urban adventure through the mundane and fantastic.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,607 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-25-08 - Published: 11-20-082. Stinking HotThere are strange things done in the summer sun by the people who wait for the bus... And even stranger are the things they don't do. A true and scary story told through dialogue.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 481 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-16-07 - Published: 4-16-073. Squeamish reviewsAfter a bloody accident in the woodshop involving his worst enemy, Leanard's life is pretty much over. But, like they say, you gotta have friends. Slight insanity with a hint of cracktasticka. If you like quirkiness, give this a try.Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,302 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-16-07 - Published: 4-16-074. Not Quite Moses reviewsThe day I got eaten by a snake. Er... snapped at? Come into contact with? All right, all right, it was completely harmless. But still, I thought it made a good story.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-16-07 - Published: 4-16-075. The Spatula War » reviewsConspiracies, spatulas, and a hunt for the truth. A series of letters chronicling a murky underground war.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-20-06 - Published: 9-16-066. The Definition of Love reviewsLove is like a summer's day, some like to say. But what is Love really? Can Love be whatever we want it to be? A humorous poem regarding the defitinition of a well known subject.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-13-06 - Published: 9-13-067. I Killed the King » reviewsBecause sometimes a little assassination is what's called for...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-13-06 - Published: 9-10-068. Sun Roars By reviewsSo, I had a dream about the apocolypse... Decided to write a song about it.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-12-06 - Published: 9-12-069. Monstrosities » reviewsWhat Monsters do when they've been kicked out of the closet.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,454 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 7-26-06 - Published: 7-9-0610. The Adventure That Didn't Happen reviewsWhat happens when the hero decides to stay home instead? A small, fantasy spoof. Complete.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,410 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-23-06 - Published: 7-23-0611. Half a Cup of Hot SauceA story of revenge. Sweet, sweet (and spicy) revenge... evil laugh.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-15-06 - Published: 5-15-0612. Assassin's List » reviewsBeing evil for the sake of good will always lead you down interesting roads, carrying some interesting weapons, and killing some interesting people. It will also have you hiding in your fair share of closets, and talking to your fair share of cats...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,616 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-2-06 - Published: 2-4-0613. An Extremely Serious Poem reviewsTitles are misleading. This is a brief explanation of why I don't bother with trying to write any poetry beyond humor.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-7-05 - Published: 9-7-0514. The Thoroughly Anonymous Project reviewsAn old, widowed woman receives a series of odd telephone calls that create more mysteries than they bother to reveal. Contains odd humor and slight hysterics. Much more to follow. Enjoy.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,473 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-3-05 - Published: 9-3-0515. Sir Ticklish » reviewsSir Ticklish was clearly not cut out for rescuing damsels in distress. Too bad this author makes him do it anyway...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 3-1-05 - Published: 2-20-0516. When Mirrors Go Bad reviewsA spoof of Snow White.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-29-04 - Published: 12-29-0417. Disasterous Days of the Witches Three reviewsThe tale of three witches and the troublesome plot twists that this author forces upon them.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,622 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-29-04 - Published: 12-29-0418. The Downside to Footwear reviewsA poem about the unfortunate occurence of mismatching shoes. (Most definately a topic not for the faint of heart...)Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-27-04 - Published: 12-27-0419. The Chicken Who Spoke reviewsA tale of inspiring heroism, unspeakable idiocy, a surprisingly verbal chicken, and a little town I like to call Obscure...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-27-04 - Published: 12-27-0420. The Edge of the Earth » reviewsWhen God created the Earth, he didn't quite get it right on his first try... Take a journey into the first (and failed) attempt at Earth, where sorcery, spells, magical glowy things, and insane gravitational concepts run amuck!Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,157 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 1-27-04 - Published: 1-19-0421. Don't Wash Your Socks! reviewsEver wonder where those missing socks really go in the laundry? Here's one solution to the all too common problem that plagues sock-wearers everywhere.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 204 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-30-03 - Published: 12-30-0322. Vampires? We've Got Plenty! reviewsEver notice how many vampire poems there are on FictionPress.net?Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 11-6-03 - Published: 11-6-0323. I'm Not Afraid of the Dark reviewsIt's dark... you're scared... and then a vampire jumps up behind you! Uggabuggabugga! But no, seroiusly, it's about how freaked out people can get on Halloween!Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-31-03 - Published: 10-31-0324. A Scrivling Tale reviewsThere's an awful lot of made up words in this poem. (What can I say? I was feeling a bit snappish with the dictionary.) This poem is rather fable-ish, and fun read-aloud. Enjoy.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 344 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-28-03 - Published: 10-28-0325. Rupunzel, Rupunzel! reviewsWhy Rupunzel was a total dummy.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 10-20-03 - Published: 10-20-0326. The Downfall of Lord Soriss! reviewsRidiculous epic about the downfall of one of those cliche big, bad villains. Includes exploding Goblin heads, a car that doesn't exist, and a wizard who...doesn't really do anything!Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,040 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 10-15-03 - Published: 10-15-0327. Exactly Why Dragons Don't Exist reviewsOne shot: The story of a little girl who asked her grandpa why there aren't Dragons, Unicorns, or Fairies in the world anymore. Quite an answer... Quite a political answer...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 10-2-03 - Published: 10-2-03
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