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| SpawnMeister666 |
Author has written 130 stories for Humor, General, Horror, Action, Romance, Thriller, Biography, Essay, Young Adult, General, Life, Family, Humor, Haiku, Work, Song, Supernatural, Spiritual, War, and Mystery. Hey There Everyone Monday 6th April 2009 I can't believe it's been around two and a half years since I gave an update on my life. Anyway, a lot has happened in the last thirty months. As mentioned below, my mother died in August of 2006, at which point I took over her pub. In November 2007, my step-dad passed away as well. Both died in the room that we used as a living room above the pub. Then in May last year, my gran also passed away, so it was a pretty tough few years as you can probably imagine. A couple of months after that, despite my best efforts, and 2 solid years of working 120+ hours a week, the pub that my mother ran for 11 years before her death, and that I ran for 2 years after, was forced to close. At which point I left England and moved to the Czech Republic, where I have been living since August of last year. I hope this goes some way to explaining the severe writers block I've been suffering from for so long. However, I hope that is now behind me, and a new story is up today, entitled "Tyrone and the Catfisherman" It's a little strange, which I think is what people have come to expect from me over the years, but I'm kind of proud of it, not least for the fact that I sat down with no idea of what I was going to write about, although I did have something to help me along the way a little. Still, trying to fit 66 song titles into a story you don't have a plot for is no mean feat I can tell you! Hopefully now the floodgates have started to trickle, there will be more to come soon. I have most of another tale already written out, so with luck I can get around to typing that up tomorrow before going back to work on Tuesday! As always, reviews are more than welcome, as I need all the encouragement possible to keep me focused. Many thanks Spawny Sunday 10th September 2006 As no doubt most people have noticed I've not been around much in the last year or so, and I've certainly not been as productive on the writing front as I have been previously. This is due to many reasons, mainly work related, although the last couple of months were spent caring for my terminally ill mother, who has sadly now passed away. I'm now in the process of taking over what was my mother's pub in Manchester, which I know is going to have a huge impact on the amount of time I have to write in future. However, I do now appear to be in permanent possession of a laptop, which means I can do as I am currently doing, and sit at the bar and write. I've put up the first couple of chapters of a new story, entitled 'Celestial Chess' and would appreciate any comments you might have about it. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with it, but I'm sure I'll work that out at some point. Probably! Don't forget that mybook, Simply Twisted, is still available on Amazon.com-do yourself a favour,or at leastdo me one, and get out there and buy it beforeits too late! Many thanks Spawny Friday 26th January 2006 Well, here I am again, after a lengthy absence, some of which was down to lazyness, some down to writers block, and some also down to circumstances. I'm finally writing again, but it appears all of my constant readers have deserted me in the time I've been missing. I'd appreciate any comments on my latest stories, as my writing style has probably suffered over the last 12 months, and I know I'll have to work hard to get back to the standard I was at previously. Constructive criticism is always sought and is probably needed more now than it has been in the past. Reviews will also encourage me to actually continue with the three stories that I have started recently, as knowing there are people out there reading them will give me that extra motivation that I need right now to update them. Many thanks Damien Thursday 24th November 2005 Well its been a while since I updated on here, but I figured I'd wait until I had something worth saying before I said anything. Or something like that! Anyway, highly exciting and important news in the world of Spawny, I've had my first book published!! Thats right, you can now buy my first ever book! It's called 'Simply Twisted' and is available to buy on Amazon.com. It's a collection of some of my best short stories, poetry and general musings on life. I even get some royalties if you go and buy it. So what are you waiting for? Go on and buy my book! Spawny Friday 8th July 2005 Well I'm still around, although nowhere near as much as I'd like to be. A lot has happened in the last few months. I've been all the way to Istanbul to watch my beloved Liverpool win the European Cup in the greatest final of all time. I have to say, at 3-0 down at half time I was wondering why I'd bothered going all that way. By the end of the night though, when Stevie Gerrard lifted up that trophy I knew I'd made the right decision to go there. Speaking of right decisions, Stevie G has finally gotten around to pledging his future to the club, to the chagrin of everyone at Chelski and the morons who set fire to his shirt outside Anfield the other night when it looked like he was going. Let's hope he gets the trophies he wants and the adulation he deserves from here on in. I'm also going to an industrial tribunal on Monday, claiming unfair dismissal against my previous employers, as detailed in 'Diary Of A Parking Attendant Anarchist'. My claim looks pretty good and I'm hoping for a fairly substantial settlement. Apart from that I dont really know what I've been doing all this time, except writing has certainly not been high on my list of priorities so far this year. Hopefully that will end soon, and I'll be back to churning out stories every few days or weeks as opposed to a couple a year which is where I seem to be at right now. Please read my latest story 'Platform Tickets', as I believe that this story has the potential to be published, although I accept I'll need to tighten it up somewhat first. Any constructive criticism of this story would be greatly appreciated. Manny thanks Spawny Sunday 17th April 2005 First off, I suppose I should apologise to people for my complete laziness thus far this year. For some reason or another I just don't feel motivated at the moment, which is why I've written next to nothing so far this year. I have no doubt that at some point in time I'll get over this feeling of lethargy, and just hope it's sooner rather than later. I still have plans to update the stories listed below at some point soon I hope, as I know they have been neglected for far too long now. In the meantime, I guess people will just have to settle for my apologies for my laxness! Finally, I couldn't let this weekend go by without mentioning an event that is very close to my heart. On the 15th April 1989 there was an FA Cup semi-final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forrest. 96 people came home from that game in a coffin. To the 'fans' of Juventus Football Clubwho unveiled a banner proclaiming this event as proof that God actually exists, I have nothing to say, as my vocabulary is too far advanced for me to be able to deal with neanderthals like you. To the families and friends of the 96, all I can say is keep on fighting for the justice you deserve, and remember, no matter how many years go by you will always be in the thoughts of honest, decent minded people. On this subject at least, I think it's fair to say, you truly will never walk alone. Spawny Friday 17th December 2004 First off, WOOHOO ME!! Today I uploaded my 100th story to the site, which is good as I set myself a target of making it to 100 before Christmas, and in 2 days I go on holiday so today was probably my last chance to write something! My goal in the New Year will be to try to update things more often, as there are some stories that seem to have been just left to rot for some time now. Hopefully I'll be able to pick them all up and continue where I left off, and who knows, maybe even finish a couple of them! The following stories are the ones that I need to work on; A Unique Mind Diary OfA Parking Enforcement Anarchist Malice And Vomit The Big C Introduction To Insanity Battle Of Madness Re-vamped Life's A Bitch I hope to update at least one of these stories at least once a month in the New Year, although knowing me I'll just write another 50 or so new stories instead and not get around to it! I'll do my best though, as some of these stories really do need updating badly. As for whats already on here, well, pretty much everything. Stories, poetry, political rants, essays, you name it, it's probably here. And if you get bored reading my stuff, check out my two friends; kelliebabes406 and Gi99les Happy Reading Spawny One, final thing. Like everyone, I occasionally succumb to typos. However, as stated below, this doesn't matter. So please dont pull me up about it. I know when I get hit by a typo already!! Read statement below. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. As I said...typos are not important! Spawny | |||||||||||
1. Taken reviewsA guy chasing a blonde and a red-head with only one thing in mind...they will be his!Thriller - Fiction Rated: T - English - Suspense/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,576 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-28-09 - Published: 7-21-032. For The Ninety Six reviewsOn 15th April 1989, 96 people died at a football match. Twenty years on, I wrote a poem about it. R&R PleaseComplete - Life - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,021 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-15-09 - Published: 4-15-093. Tin Man and the Great American DreamFor all those people who n ever wanted to know what happened when I went hitch-hiking around America back in 1999/2000Complete - Biography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,564 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-7-09 - Published: 4-7-094. TYRONE AND THE CATFISHERMAN reviewsA rather strange tale involving someone who feeds people to fish, amongst other, more traditional type characters.....Complete - Biography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,259 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-6-09 - Published: 4-6-095. A Week of Madness » reviewsA true and accurate account of one man’s mission to watch some of the highest quality live music ever witnessed by humankind in the entire history of the world. Or something like that. RR PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,435 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-25-07 - Published: 3-19-076. CASTLE ROCKS CANCER reviewsA poem written to commemorate a charity event I put on in my pub with 20 bands playing. Rated for one single word in it! RR PLEASE!Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 422 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-13-07 - Published: 7-13-077. Drunken Poetry reviewsTake a surreal writer, add vodka, mix, and serve! Or something like that! Yes, I was drunk when I wrote these, no, I don't apologise for it! Don't expect classic literature! RR anyway please!Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-3-07 - Published: 3-3-078. Heaven and Hell reviewsWhat would you do if you were given a choice of where you wanted to spend eternity? Would you pick Heaven, or would you pick Hell? Rated just in case.....RR PLEASE!Spiritual - Fiction Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,777 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-12-07 - Published: 2-12-079. The Locked Room reviewsThere's a body in a coffin, and its been prepared for burial. Only problem is, the body is a murder victim and the coffin was discovered in a locked room. Can the police work out what's going on? Rated for possible later content. RR PLEASE!Horror - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,336 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-24-07 - Published: 1-24-0710. Degrees of Separation » reviewsCan an event years ago and thousands of miles away, of which noone has any knowledge of, be the prelude to the tragedy that is about to unfold? Full summary inside. Rated for possible content. RR PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,674 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-23-07 - Published: 1-23-0711. Vengeance is Mine » reviewsA young man constantly finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time when terrorists attack. Then he is given a chance of revenge. Rated for later violence and adult scenes. RR PLEASE!Action - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,992 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-12-07 - Published: 1-11-0712. Axe Murderer reviewsI have a theory that axe murderers do not really exist. This explains why. R+R PLEASE!Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-25-06 - Published: 9-25-0613. Champions of Europe!This is a diary of my trip to watch Liverpool win the Champions League Final in Istanbul. This should have been written about a year or so ago, but it's taken me until now to be relaxed enough about that night to get around to it. R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,301 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-25-06 - Published: 9-25-0614. Celestial Chess » reviewsA dark vision of a not too distant future. Or something like that. Rated for whatever comes later that could well be nasty!Mystery - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,964 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-12-06 - Published: 9-10-0615. Malice And Vomit » reviewsOkay, its a parody, and the title should give you an idea what of! Anyway, this is the first chapter of a book I intend to write, but I kinda have writers block with it, so am looking for ideas! R&R please, and any ideas you have about what should happenHumor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,911 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 9-11-06 - Published: 7-21-0316. Funeral Speech reviewsThis is the speech I made a few days ago at my mothers funeral. It got a good reception so I decided to upload it here.Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 554 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-6-06 - Published: 9-6-0617. You Don't Know reviewsMy mother is dying of cancer. This is how I feel about her right now. R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-2-06 - Published: 8-2-0618. Cops and Doggers reviewsTrying to write something new. A drunken cop is called out the the scene of a brutal double murder. Early days, much more to come later. Rated for language and references to come. R+R Please!Thriller - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-23-06 - Published: 5-23-0619. Valentines Meal reviewsA man meets his girlfriend for a meal on Valentines day, and has a question to ask. Awww...I'm getting soppy in my old age! Or am I?...R+R Please!Romance - Fiction Rated: K - English - Suspense/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,427 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-23-06 - Published: 5-23-0620. The Hunter reviewsThe hunt is over, and now it's time to feed. But what kind of creature are we dealing with? Rated for references. R+R Please!Horror - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-19-06 - Published: 5-19-0621. Because of Poo reviewsSo I got bored and decided to re-write a Kelly Clarkson song. Rated for mild references. R+R Please!Song - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-19-06 - Published: 5-19-0622. Skaters, Vodka, and Friendship reviewsI'm going through a pretty tough time mentally right now, and thought it might help getting the way I feel written down. R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,583 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-06 - Published: 1-8-0623. Broken Me, Broken World reviewsThis is about how the human race is inherently stupid, and yet, this stupidity is actually what makes us so special. R+R PLEASE!Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,510 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-8-06 - Published: 1-8-0624. To Kill Her reviewsA re-write of an old Terrorvision song called Tequila, not suitable for young people, extremely bad taste! R+R PLEASE!Song - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-5-06 - Published: 1-5-0625. The Reaper reviewsA short musing on life in general, and how events are constantly occuring which we ignore until they happen to us.Better than the summary suggests I promise! R+R PLEASE!Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 272 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 11-2-05 - Published: 11-2-0526. The Brain Invaders reviewsThis is what happens to my mind when I stop drinking! The end of the world as we know it is nigh, and it hasn't come from the direction we expected! Rated for references and mild language. Better than the title suggests! R+R PLEASE!Horror - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-19-05 - Published: 10-19-0527. Profundity is Overrated reviewsMix a 32 year old bloke, wheelchair pushing in Prague, Czech beer at 3am, and a mobile phone, and this is what you get! R+R PLEASE!Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-30-05 - Published: 9-30-0528. Platform Tickets reviewsA serial killer is interviewed and tries to explain the reasons behind the killings. Some graphic content, mainly references only. R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,968 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-8-05 - Published: 7-8-0529. Without A Leg To Stand On reviews6 years ago he had his legs amputated. He's still trying to come to terms with things. Rated for references. R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,617 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-10-05 - Published: 5-10-0530. The Tunnel of Death reviewsThis was inspired by a visit to a Second World War Gestapo prison, and in particular a dark and nasty tunnel leading to the place of execution. Not for the faint-hearted. R+R PLEASE!War - Fiction Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-21-05 - Published: 4-21-0531. A Drunkards Holiday » reviewsThis is a diary type tale of a holiday I took over the Christmas and New Year period. Rated for alcohol abuse references. KIDS: DON'T TRY TO RECREATE THE EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS TALE. IT WILL SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH/SANITY! R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,485 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-21-05 - Published: 3-15-0532. The Cavalier reviewsA 60 year old man reminisces as he prepares to leave the only home he has ever known. R+R PLEASESpiritual - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 934 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-18-05 - Published: 2-18-0533. Donors reviewsToday I did my tri-monthly good dead and gave blood. Whilst there I had an idea for a story, and this is it. Personally I quite like it, but then, I would of course! This is the story of a couple meeting at a blood donor centre. R+R PLEASERomance - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,656 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 2-10-05 - Published: 2-10-0534. The Slippery Path reviewsIt's competition entry time again! The first sentance is provided, then I have a 750 word limit. R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-0535. Hijacking reviewsA call is received detailing a plane about to be attacked by terrorists. Security is stepped up, but will it be enough? R+R PLEASE!Action - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,797 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-17-04 - Published: 12-17-0436. My Fatal Flaw reviewsNot sure this is in the right category. Anyway, the world is burning after the nuclear holocaust we all dread finally occurs, and the party responsible wants to write a letter to say sorry...R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,262 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-0437. Hallowed Be Thy Name reviewsInspired by the Iron Maiden song of the same name. The final thoughts of a condemned man. R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,303 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-0438. Run To The Hills reviewsA tale of a Native American tribe being attacked by white settlers. Rated for references. R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,203 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-0439. The Crying Cow reviewsAnother competition entry by me. The first line is supplied, and I have a 750 word limit. " Jo wasn't looking forward to being the rear end of a tap-dancing pantomime cow again..." R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 664 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-0440. A Unique Mind reviewsNot sure of the title or category with this yet. Imagine if you woke up one day and anything you said, anything you thought, anything you wrote, instantly became reality. How would you cope? What would you do? More to come later. R+R PLEASE!Supernatural - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,291 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-30-04 - Published: 11-30-0441. The Day My Marriage Ended reviewsI remember with real clarity the day my marriage broke up...this story contains references to incest. Do not read if easily offended. For the record, this is fiction, I've never even been married. Rated for references and subject matter. R+R PLEASE!Young Adult - Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-26-04 - Published: 11-26-0442. Hit and Run reviewsA driver runs over a small child, but he can't stop, as he has an important appointment to attend. Rated for mild language. R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,093 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-20-04 - Published: 11-20-0443. Internet Grooming The Flip Side reviewsAm I alone in wanting to know why every time I'm on-line I get messages from young girls asking me if I want to chat? Why is this happening? R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,200 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-16-04 - Published: 11-16-0444. Stan reviewsThis wont mean anything to most people, but its a tongue in cheek look at the last few months of Stan Collymore's football career. Apologies to Eminem, rated for language. R+R PLEASE!Song - Fiction Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,269 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-14-04 - Published: 11-14-0445. Four More Years reviewsMy views on the result of the American election. I figure I waited long enough and people are probably wondering where I am by now! R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 11-14-04 - Published: 11-14-0446. Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest » reviewsThis is kind of a Beavis and Butthead style parody, based on some idiotic morons I've recently had the misfortune to run into on-line. Rated for references mainly, although the language may get bad later. R+R PLEASEHumor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,720 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-14-04 - Published: 11-11-0447. Diary of a Parking Enforcement Anarchist » reviewsA while back I was told I had no future with the comany I work for, and since then have been working to ensure the comany has no future. This is my diary of events to date. This may be continued later on, depending on events. Rated for mild language. R+RBiography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,933 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-9-04 - Published: 9-4-0448. Walking The Dog reviewsIt's a new month, and a new competition entry. I was given the first line of this and had to complete a story in 750 words or less. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-9-04 - Published: 11-9-0449. Pool Team Anthem aka Haven't Got A Prayer reviewsThis is something I wrote a few years ago to the tune of Bon Jovi's 'Livin On A Prayer' song for my pool team. Let me know what you think. Rated for languageSong - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-0450. Time For Change reviewsIn a couple of weeks America goes to the polls to decide who is going to become President. This is my opinion on the election.Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 584 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-25-04 - Published: 10-25-0451. The Swans Nest reviewsIt's that time of month where I do my competition entry thing again. The first line is provided, and I have a limit of 750 words. Let me know what you think. R+R PLEASE!Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-5-04 - Published: 10-5-0452. In The Prescence Of Greatness reviewsOn Saturday I was fortunate enough to meet one of my heroes. This will tell you all about it. I still really suck at poetry though! R+R PLEASELife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 290 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-27-04 - Published: 9-27-0453. The Stress of In The City reviewsI've been put in charge of organising a bit of a music festival in the pub I live in this weekend. Which, as anyone who has ever seen me attemt to organise anything will tell you, is clearly a very foolish thing to do. Anyway, this is all about my attemptLife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 438 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-17-04 - Published: 9-17-0454. Old Albert reviewsAnother one of those competition entries where I was given the first line and had to take it from there. I'm actually quite proud of this one, which means it probably sucks! Anyway, R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 737 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-7-04 - Published: 9-7-0455. Waiting For Rooney reviewsTransfer deadline day, and reporters are all over the place hoping for a scoop. But what if there was a player who was known to like prostitutes? And what if a reporter waited outside a brothel on the off-chance said player arrived? R+R PLEASEHumor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 947 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-31-04 - Published: 8-31-0456. Beat It reviewsI decided to re-write the Michael Jackson classic, Beat It, taking into account current allegations. DO NOT READ IF EASILY OFFENDED. Reviews, as ever, will be greatly appreciated.Song - Fiction Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-31-04 - Published: 8-31-0457. Being Cool Is Easy reviewsI think the title sums it up. All about how easy it is to become cool. Rated for use of abusive words/phrases. R+R PLEASELife - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 269 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 8-14-04 - Published: 8-14-0458. Comfort Zone reviewsSome people go through life settling for what they have, and never even bother to strain to achieve what they want...R+R PLEASELife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-12-04 - Published: 8-12-0459. Abortion Right or Wrong? reviewsI think the title says it all. An essay on whether abortion is right or wrong. Rated for references. Intelligent flames more than welcome. R+R PLEASE!Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 8-3-04 - Published: 8-3-0460. Sunday Afternoon Drive reviewsIt started off as nothing more than a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive...R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-2-04 - Published: 8-2-0461. Diarrhoea Moustache reviewsA friend gave me the first two words and the last two words of a story, and challenged me to write the rest. This is the end result of the challenge. R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-2-04 - Published: 8-2-0462. November Rain reviewsI havn't written a song-fic for a while, and circumstances being what they are in my life at the moment this one just flowed off the page. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-31-04 - Published: 7-31-0463. Sorry About The Coffe Stains reviewsThis is the result of a challenge laid down by a friend of mine, who supplied the first line and wanted me to make that into a story. Rated for references. As always, R+R PLEASE!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-27-04 - Published: 7-27-0464. Obsession » reviewsDont ask me where this came from cos I just dont know. A guy sees a girl in a bar...over and over again! R&RRomance - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-12-04 - Published: 7-21-0365. Who's The Boss? reviewsThis is the tale of a nasty experience I had at work a few weeks ago. At least, it could have been nasty if I hadn't been so lucky. Rated for language. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-10-04 - Published: 7-10-0466. Rebecca reviewsIt was only after she clicked on 'send' that Rebecca realised what she'd done...R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 685 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-8-04 - Published: 7-8-0467. Smoking Ban Right or Wrong? reviewsWell, as the debate rages on, and the Government look to be seriously considering banning smoking in public places, I figured I should have my say. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,413 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7-5-04 - Published: 7-5-0468. A Rather Annoying Poem reviewsI realised, quite suddenly, that I hadn't written anything extremely stupid and pointless recently. Well, I have now. R+R PLEASEHumor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 72 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-30-04 - Published: 6-30-0469. An Essay On Obesity reviewsSo, there's a debate raging about obesity, and who's to blame. This is my view on the issue. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 821 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-29-04 - Published: 6-29-0470. An Essay On Racism reviewsI keep finding myself in discussions on racism, so figured I may as well write an essay about it. Rated for swearing and racist language. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 898 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 6-14-04 - Published: 6-14-0471. The LidLess Eye reviewsI wrote this for a competiton, and figured I may as well put it on here too. Rated for references, and I don't need anyone to tell me the title sucks! R+R PLEASEThriller - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 670 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-3-04 - Published: 6-3-0472. The Big C » reviewsWhat first seemed to be just an innocent fall gradually becomes something much worse. Rated for references at the moment. This rating may change as I go along. Chapter 5 Now Up! R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,226 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 5-31-04 - Published: 2-8-0473. I Hate Umbrellas reviewsExactly what it says it is. I hate umbrellas, and inside it explains why. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-28-04 - Published: 5-28-0474. Middle East Discussions reviewsSo, I've been communicating with a friend about the issue's of Israel and Iraqi prisoner abuse. And this is the result. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 5-20-04 - Published: 5-20-0475. Ruminations on Special Creatures Apparently reviewsSo, I was at work, and I saw a Guide Dog leading it's blind owner to who knows where. And I got thinking. And this happened. R+R PLEASEHumor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Mystery/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 5-19-04 - Published: 5-19-0476. Family Portrait reviewsThose of you who have chatted with me on-line may be aware of a character in my life known as the Evil Step Dad. Well, this is all about why I consider him evil. Rated for references. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,890 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 5-11-04 - Published: 5-11-0477. Allegations Of Torture reviewsSo, now there are stories and photgraphs and even video footage of American and British troops torturing and abusing Iraqi's. What the hell is going on over there, and why? Rated for references and language. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,491 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 5-6-04 - Published: 5-6-0478. Conspiracy Theory reviewsI've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I seem to have a habit of waking up with them. This explains why. Rated for mild references. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 490 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 4-25-04 - Published: 4-25-0479. Shafted reviewsSo, work sucks. This is why it's a four letter word, like most other swear words seem to be. On the plus side, you don't have to work where I do! Rated for language. R+R PLEASEWork - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-15-04 - Published: 4-15-0480. An Iraqi's Tale reviewsSo what has it been like to be an Iraqi for the last year or so? Maybe something like this, maybe not. Rated for references, and not sure if I have it in the right category. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,944 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-14-04 - Published: 4-14-0481. A Day In The Hills reviewsI went snowboarding today. This is my attempt to describe how the day went. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 1-28-04 - Published: 1-28-0482. Brothers In Arms reviewsSo I'm on a roll on the whole writing stories to songs thing. Three in as many days. Anyway, this is my take on what it was like to go over the border into Iraq. All complete fiction of course, but I kind of like how it came out. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,373 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-27-04 - Published: 1-27-0483. Don't Cry reviewsOkay, on today's menu we have an all time Guns N Roses classic, an even more twisted than usual mind, and a few spare minutes. I think I may be going insane! R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,472 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-26-04 - Published: 1-26-0484. Janie's Got A Gun reviewsTake a famous Aerosmith song, a warped imagination, and a spare fifteen minutes, and this is what you get. Rated for references. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,293 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-25-04 - Published: 1-25-0485. The Prize reviewsSo I played an important pool match last night. And this is the story of how it all unfolded. Or something like that! R+R PLEASELife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-22-04 - Published: 1-22-0486. A Typical Day In The Life Of A Traffic Warden reviewsSo I was at work, hunting around for people to inflict pain, misery and untold suffering on. Or failing that, parking fines. And I came up with this. R+R PLEASEWork - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-21-04 - Published: 1-21-0487. America The Greatest Country In The World? » reviewsSo this is my response to all the America Is Great essays. I've no doubt I'll get stick from the usual people over it. But hey, free speech and freedom of opinion and all that! R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,197 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 1-18-04 - Published: 1-15-0488. Sisters Don't You Just Gotta Love Them? reviewsA story of abuse suffered at the hands of a family member. Nothing really graphic in here but rated for references. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,692 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-17-04 - Published: 1-17-0489. England The Greatest Country In The World AS IF! reviewsSo I explained already why I don't think America is the greatest place in the world. Which apparently means I must think England is. Well, this is my opinion on that one as well. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,940 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 1-16-04 - Published: 1-16-0490. Bomb Damaged Lager reviewsOn 15th June, 1996, the IRA blew Manchester apart. This is my account of that day. R+R PleaseEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,496 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-13-04 - Published: 1-13-0491. Introduction To Insanity » reviewsSo, I finally updated this one. Now it's down to YOU to R+R it so I know where to go next. Well go on then, what are you waiting for?General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,273 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 1-11-04 - Published: 9-11-0392. Justification Of War reviewsSo Saddam's been caught, and still no WMD. So what really happened to them? And why did we really go to war?Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,147 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 1-8-04 - Published: 1-8-0493. Vengeance reviewsCould it be possible that occasionally, just occasionally, murder could be justified?General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,326 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 1-8-04 - Published: 1-8-0494. A Brief Glimpse reviewsSomething I thought up today after spotting my soon to be girlfriend driving home from work. Or something like that. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-29-03 - Published: 12-29-0395. Death Train » reviewsA guy gets on a train, and all of a sudden he finds himself all alone with only the guard for company. NOW COMPLETE!. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,582 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-18-03 - Published: 11-29-0396. The Chair reviewsThe how of why this was written is extremely spooky. To me anyway. Explanation inside. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 11-29-03 - Published: 11-29-0397. England World Champions reviewsSo. England won the Rugby World Cup. This is my account of some of the emotions I went through during the game. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-28-03 - Published: 11-28-0398. Why Do I Write So Much? reviewsSo, I was asked the question, and decided to try and answer it. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-28-03 - Published: 11-28-0399. One Good Cigarette reviewsEveryone knows cigarettes are bad for you by now. But maybe the odd one can actually improve your life. All will be explained inside. R+R PleaseGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,832 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 11-20-03 - Published: 11-20-03100. Life's A Bitch » reviewsA tale of a life gone wrong, and the struggle to rebuild it. Or something like that. R+R PLEASEBiography - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,919 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-17-03 - Published: 11-17-03101. The Page reviewsSo, there I was. A new notepad. The first page. The challenge begins. Time to start writing. This is what happened. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-11-03 - Published: 11-11-03102. My Pathetic Attempts At Haiku » reviewsExactly as the title says. R+R PLEASEHaiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 7 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-11-03 - Published: 11-11-03103. The Final Word reviewsA final letter from someone on Death Row. Rated for references to sexual abuse.Biography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-11-03 - Published: 11-11-03104. Men Think About Sex, But Function Anyway How? reviewsA brief explanation of how men manage to function despite apparently never thinking about anything but sex. R+R PLEASEEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 455 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 11-6-03 - Published: 11-6-03105. Time reviewsA brief look at the way time works. R+R PLEASE!Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-20-03 - Published: 10-20-03106. A Mouse Tale reviewsOkay, this was funny when I thought of it at stupid o clock in the morning after overdosing on Guinness. I still think its funny! Like almost all my poetry, NOT to be taken seriously! R+R PLEASEHumor - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-20-03 - Published: 10-20-03107. Mobile Consequences reviewsA man walks around his house. He cant hear anything. He's worried. Which is nothing compared to how he'll feel when his memory returns. R+R PLEASEGeneral - Fiction Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-18-03 - Published: 10-18-03108. Store Attack reviewsThe titles rubbish, but the best I can think of right now. Anyway, summary is simple, a woman is attacked as she locks up a store. R+R PLEASE!Thriller - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-18-03 - Published: 10-18-03109. An Addicts Tale reviewsBefore people start offering counselling and stuff, the only drug I ever take is Guinness! This is PURE FICTION! Let me know what you think though, as I think it serves as a pretty good warning to people! R+R PLEASE!Biography - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,258 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-18-03 - Published: 10-18-03110. What A Wonderful World Part 2 reviewsBasically a reply to some of the criticism over my first essay. Trying to give a better idea where I'm coming from. R+R PleaseEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 958 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-9-03 - Published: 10-9-03111. Jess reviewsAbout a girl I met a while ago. And what I learnt from meeting her. R+R PleaseEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 10-5-03 - Published: 10-5-03112. What A Wonderful World reviewsI have a feeling I may get a lot of abuse over this one, but I dont care. If your American, you probably wont like what I have to say very much. I just hope you at least read it and think about it. Flames more than welcome, as long as they are informed anEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 895 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 10-2-03 - Published: 10-2-03113. My Old Friend Stoli reviewsThis is dedicated to my oldest and best friend, Stoli. Thats Stolichanaya the vodka by the wayLife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-9-03 - Published: 9-9-03114. Untitled As Yet reviewsThe only title I can think of for this one kind of gives the punch-line away, so let me know if you can think of one!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-8-03 - Published: 9-8-03115. Funny Reviews reviewsIf you've ever had the misfortune of me reading your work, you've probably recieved one of my nonsensical reviews. If you haven't, the best of them are all here!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,600 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-8-03 - Published: 9-8-03116. Too Young reviewsNEWS FLASH. This poem may be about to be PUBLISHED in a book in the USA. Further details as I get them. A friends 17 year old niece just announced she was pregnant. So I wrote this on the spur of the moment, like I do all the time! R+R PleaseLife - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 8-21-03 - Published: 8-21-03117. A Day At The Football reviewsThe new seasons upon us, and this is the story of me going to the first game of the season. Rated for mild languageGeneral - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,750 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-19-03 - Published: 8-19-03118. Ode To Frog reviewsThe title kinda says it all I think. Please dont take it too seriously! Rated for the ending..just in caseGeneral - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-18-03 - Published: 8-18-03119. For My Little Brother reviewsA message to my brother, and also to my dad. R+R PLEASE. I need to know what people think of thisFamily - Fiction Rated: K - English - Tragedy/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 428 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-18-03 - Published: 8-18-03120. You'll Never Walk Alone reviewsThis is for the 96, all will be exlained inside. R+R PLEASE as I only just started on the whole poetry thing and need to know what you think.Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-18-03 - Published: 8-18-03121. A Walk By The River reviewsAnyone who doesn't like this...blame Frodo...she's the one who got me interested in poetry all of a sudden! Great work by the way girl!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-18-03 - Published: 8-18-03122. A Fivers Tale » reviewsThe life story of a bank note> Weird I know, but please R&R. This story now in chapters to make it easier for you to get through it all!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/General - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,522 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-16-03 - Published: 8-16-03123. First Time reviewsThis is pure fiction...and I dont know where it came from. Its about a guys first gay experience. R&R please as its not my normal kind of writing and I'm curious about what you thinkYoung Adult - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 950 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 8-3-03 - Published: 8-3-03124. Kutna Hora reviewsThis is about a small church in the Czech republic that I visited earlier this year. Please read and reviewEssay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-3-03 - Published: 8-3-03125. My Life Is Shit reviewsSorta kinda semi autobiographical. I'll leave it to you to work out which parts are real and which are my imagination! R&R please!Biography - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,291 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-29-03 - Published: 7-29-03126. I Know I Loved Her reviewsA story of unrequited love...so unrequited, I doubt she even remembers me!Romance - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 482 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 7-21-03 - Published: 7-21-03127. Alone With The Deer reviewsA tent, 2 friends, and a family of deer walking by. R&R pleaseRomance - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,186 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-21-03 - Published: 7-21-03128. Doctor reviewsSo what do you go through mentally when your at deaths door? I have no idea to be honest, but maybe its something like thisAction - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 944 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-21-03 - Published: 7-21-03129. Bus Journey To Hell reviewsIts a day like any other, and a bus journey like any other, till the psycho gets on the bus!Horror - Fiction Rated: T - English - Horror/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,060 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-21-03 - Published: 7-21-03
Czech Republic