Hi.
I've been a lurker here for years, now. Mostly I made an account to spy on confusionlove, my sister, who is a much more prolific and most likely a better writer than I. Meanwhile, my own poetry and other stuff languishes on my computer and on my web site which I keep remodeling since I haven't yet settled on my professional image. So most of the poetry that was there keeps disappearing, or reappearing, depending on how R-Rated I want to appear at that moment to prospective clients. Sigh. It's troublesome being versatile; people are uncomfortable with someone who can just as easily make happy little cartoons as they can draw a picture of a demonic, dragon-like creature ripping out another's guts and laughing, all with subtle homoerotic overtones. I write porn (which you will not be seeing here), and I write children's stories, and I write everything in between. I suppose that is why people use pseudonyms, although I wish I didn't have to. I shouldn't have to pretend to be two different people just because the public can't comprehend innocence coming out of the same hands that write degenerate filth.
Anyway.
I've decided I'm going to start uploading things here, and give it a try. I love feedback, and I love criticism, as long as you keep in mind that some of the stuff I'll be posting is really, really old and mostly kept only as a curiosity. I am actually proud of some of my work, but many of my writings are rather like old pillows; uncomfortable, and a bit of an eyesore, but I can't bring myself to just throw them away. Besides, if even one person enjoys something I've made, then its existence is justified. I will be posting almost everything I've written, even the terrible old ones from when I was an angsty goth who could not write for anyone but other angsty goths. I'm not going to make note of the bad ones because I'd rather not taint your first impression, but chances are you will figure out which ones I personally dislike because they are the most terrible, so go a little easy on me about those, if you please. Maybe you can help me salvage them into something worthwhile. Or maybe you are an angsty goth and will enjoy them. There's nothing wrong with that and I will find it refreshing. Either way, that is why I am sharing them.
Poetry isn't all I write. I spend a great deal of time pouring my innermost turmoil into fiction and the occasional article/rant/journal entry/screaming fit. However, don't expect much fiction from me, and what you do expect, expect it slowly. I write in an incredibly disjointed manner so it will take me some time to accumulate enough consecutive chapters to make anything worth posting. As if I needed another obstacle, I also have around three or four projects going at once and I have to be in a specific mood to work on any of them, and as previously mentioned, I may be working on the middle or the end of a story before I even touch the beginning. I am not constructed for serials, I am just not. On top of this, I write from my id, so tangents occur and much of the time they lead me far astray from important matters and into scenes of gratuitous violence and sex (sometimes together) which at times are easier to delete (erm...move to another document for safekeeping, actually) than to justify.
Of course, I will do whatever I can to justify as much of it as I can, because I hate to censor myself and the darkness of the human soul is what fascinates me.
I suppose I should touch on my real-life self for those of you who would like to know: I was born in 1983 (which makes me 25 at the time of this writing), I am female, mostly Caucasian, descended from Celts and (real) Goths and Normans and Saxons and Gauls and more than one Native American tribe. I bear the combined anger of a dozen warrior tribes and their alcohol tolerance to match, along with a healthy respect for razor-sharp sarcasm and hand-to-hand combat. I also play video games (mostly World of Warcraft and some older ones; I am still obsessed with Morrowind and the entire Elder Scrolls universe), read when I feel compelled, draw not nearly as frequently as I should, listen to an enormous and contradictory range of music, and sustain an unhealthy caffeine addiction. Any further information will require some manner of communication between us, or you could just do it the easy way and find my barely-used MySpace.
Of course you will also learn about me just by reading my work. You will probably find out more than you ever wanted to know.
If you have been indulgent enough to read this far, you have my thanks, dear reader. Now move on to my entries, whatever they may be, and whether you are bored or intrigued or disgusted, either way, I will have affected you, and that is enough.
~Cavanoskus
March 20, 2008
Sarasota, Florida
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
