A Little About Me:
My name is Carol Ann. I'm 22 and an English Education major at the University of Oklahoma. I think I can best describe myself as a struggling Christian who deeply desires to know God on a personal, relationship level. I know I am not there yet, but I am working at it. Jesus Christ is the best thing that has ever happened to me and the only thing in my life that truly matters. He rescued me when I was at the point of no return. This journey has been intensely painful so far, but also the most joyful and peaceful time I can remember experiencing. It's a really weird paradox that I don't know how to describe. I guess I can say that there is a strong sense inside of me that whatever I have to endure is completely worth it. I'm not here to preach or convert you or offend you. I just can't help talking about something that means so much to me. God has proven to me that He is most certainly real, and at this point I don't think I could ever go back to life without Him because of it.
Other than that I have a million hobbies and a million things to do all the time. I am kind of a science nerd, which is weird considering that I am not good at science and have to struggle to pass any science course that I take, but I find it fascinating nonetheless, and in most of my stories there will be some kind of scientific theme in the background. I love music too. I will listen to anything. I love folk, Celtic, worship, indie, rock, emo, trance and techno, bluegrass, rap, world music, pop and pretty much anything else. If I were to list all the bands and singers I like I would probably not have enough room on this page. I am very, very impartial when it comes to music. I don't watch a lot of movies or tv, but I read a ton (it happens when you've been a literature major). I love reading any books about the Christian life, but I get bogged down in theology so I usually stay away from that genre. My favorite book in the world, even though you'll laugh, is probably A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Mostly I love anything that makes me think, writing loaded with metaphors or analogies or codes. I love reading poetry but I don't write it anymore. Some of the other random things I like are cooking, fresh pineapple, holidays, fall, black and white photography, forests, candy, summer thunderstorms, the back porch, Austria, long late night conversations about God, wild flowers, and the pyramids of Egypt. Now if I were to continue with that list it most certainly would not fit on this page, so I'll stop there. :)
Right now, what I want to do after college is teach High School English. For reasons unknown to me, I do not think I ever matured past the age of 16. haha. So I am still a high-schooler at heart, and I have to admit that most of my best friends in the world are high-schoolers. I also write for teenagers and young adults, so that's another reason I think I'd like to teach HS English. In a way, I never really left that "world", even though I was supposed to when college started! We'll see though. Life changes, and so do plans. :)
My Stories:
Equinox: In part this story is based on my own experiences. I was in a really deep depression and a super unhealthy relationship during my senior year of high school. It was one of the darkest times of my life. My boyfriend was never physically abusive, but I took the emotional scars he gave me and projected them onto a character, thinking maybe there was some sort of connection. I think there was. I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I have experienced that feeling that you can't leave, that there is no hope, that you are trapped, and that no one could possibly understand what you're going through (because to everyone else, the solution seems so easy). The emotions were so big by the time I graduated, I started writing Equinox. I finished the first draft during my freshman year of college. From there I started another draft, which I didn't finish. And now, as of February 08, I've finished the third draft. I am not in that relationship anymore (Thank God- literally). I had to finally believe that I could do all things through Christ, and when I finally believed that, I broke off all ties with my ex. With this story I hope I can help people who are maybe in similar situations, or just people who are hurting in general. This is not a happy story. There are happy parts, but until you get to the end (which I think is a "happy" one), you will most likely feel very depressed. I think one of the really comforting things in life, though, is reading something really sad when you yourself are feeling really sad. There is comfort in reading about people who feel the same way you feel, so that's what I hope comes across to readers.
The Water At Night: a short story/chapter addition to Equinox written from Nathan's point of view.
Banner Over Me: There is a reason I am posting this story the day before Easter. It's a story about things being made new. That's all I can really say for now. I don't have much of an outline and, like the main character, I am not really sure where I'm going with this. I don't know how often it will be updated. I don't know much of anything right now. But at least I've started something that I want to finish. :)
The best way I can figure stuff out about myself has always been to write. Somehow when I write I can get to feelings inside of me that I didn't even know I had. I love writing more than I can say. It has been my passion since I was about fifteen years old. Maybe someday I will try and get published, but honestly it seems like a lot more trouble than it's worth. (Plus I'm pretty sure that the two whole copies they would put in the bookstore would be bought by me and my family). We'll see though.
Okay I've done enough rambling. If you want to email me please feel free: carolann86@yahoo.com. Email me for any reason at all. I am also on Yahoo IM. I love talking to people, and honestly, I would just love to make friends with my readers. I think there should always be a deeper relationship than a you-review-me-I-review-you basis. Also, I get like fifty million spam emails a day, so there could always be a chance that I mistake your email for a Viagra offer. PLEASE do not put your subject as "Hey". A lot of the spammers do that, so I never know if it's a real hey or a "you-just-won-an-iPod-all-I-need-is-your-social-security-number" hey. In any case, I ask that you please state something about fictionpress or my story or my pen name in your subject so that I'll know to read it. :)
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