grim-dreamer
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since: 07-24-04, id: 426932, Profile Updated: 01-17-11
country: Ireland
Author has written 85 stories for Life, War, Religion, Politics, General, Haiku, School, Family, Humor, Love, Nature, Fable, Mystery, Romance, Humor, and Fantasy.

Pleased to meet you, and thank you, graciously, in advance, for your curiosity.


1. Never Leave reviews
Never leave - I warn you now - the comfort of your own country
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-5-06
2. The Wizard's Candle reviews
Hero is on a quest to seek out the "wizard", but a stranger on the way causes him to contemplate on why. A satire of the 'fantasy' genre.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Parody/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-17-06
3. Wooden Heart reviews
A love-sick poem tries to communicate with its reader.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-13-05
4. Manky Carpet reviews
A house-moving experience obsessed with the rank quality of the carpet.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-23-05
5. Consoling Satira reviews
Why do some of us need things like this : ) and this : ( to understand a satirical response? Isn't your English and punctuation good enough?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 6-4-05
6. To His Shy Girlfriend reviews
Romance is sex dressed up. Transposition of Andrew Marvell's 'To His Coy Mistress'.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 5-21-05
7. Girl with the Flamethrower Hair reviews
Most children have best friends. What they mean by 'best friend' is a person, usually another child, with whom they spend a majority of their time. Sad to say, I never had a 'best friend', though some may argue that I did.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,018 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-1-05
8. Schoolboy reviews
Schoolboys are lush - but which ones? The real or the fashioned? Inspired by Robert Herrick's poem 'Delight in Disorder'.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-21-05
9. To Autumn reviews
Five haikus reflecting the nature of one autumn afternoon...
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-20-05
10. All My Dandelions Are Dead Mermaids reviews
Portrait of a misogynist. (Third villanelle).
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 4-9-05
11. Documentaries reviews
Tell people their mistakes and they're fated to make them anyway. (History Reverse Psychology)
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-8-05
12. Dinner With The Blacks reviews
For Andrew Townsend, a simple invitation to dinner turns inexplicably into a nightmare.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-8-05
13. Not The Tiger reviews
Bleak parody of William Blake's poem.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 338 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-8-05
14. The Reason reviews
Respect for someone who decides to kill themselves. (Second villanelle - completely rewritten.)
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-8-05
15. Never Dead Yet reviews
Every film gets this part wrong. (Goes to show money can't buy perfection, hmm.)
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 49 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-8-05
16. Ignored as a Child reviews
Some parents deserve sadness and loneliness in their old age. (Malice prepense.)
Poetry: Family - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 3-18-05
17. About the Weather reviews
Some of us grow distant from our parents.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-15-05
18. Songs for Lady Aspen reviews
A wandering musician dedicates himself to a lady he has only met once.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 625 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-13-05
19. The Way of the World reviews
Based on Edgar Gambin's version of 'The Last Supper'. The only thing we're good at is watching - except this one guy, who tells us we'll be fine.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-12-05
20. Smoking is a Pastime reviews
It's harder to become a smoker than it is to stop smoking.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-11-05
21. Centertaf reviews
War memorials just look nice.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-11-05
22. Five Ways of Looking at Grass » reviews
Grass is obnoxious.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-10-05
23. Admirer reviews
Dedicated to the one I love - but who is it? (Is it you)
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-9-05
24. Mourning Flowers reviews
Written from the perspective of the fly in Emily Dickinson's 'I Heard A Fly Buzz When I Died'.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-8-05
25. Jessica Wednesday reviews
Based on an article about a 7-year-old girl who is starved by her parents over 5 years. No one knew.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 3-7-05
26. The Mystery of Empty Condoms » reviews
Something my neighbours - mature university students (supposedly) - posted through my letterbox today.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-3-05
27. Diffident reviews
Thoughts can make you ill. Please think before crossing the road.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-1-05
28. Pornography reviews
We all get these digital urges - the lads, more so.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-28-05
29. Wrongnight Stand reviews
Not all nights end with sexual encounters. You just think they do.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 306 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-28-05
30. Opportunity reviews
If it's there, take it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-28-05
31. Compliment reviews
A respectful bow to a fellow fictionspress poet (Macca Lane).
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-22-05
32. Take It With a Pinch of Salt reviews
Comment on a recent piece of American research claiming that "marital rowing (is) 'good for wives".
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-22-05
33. Robbler reviews
Comment on the recent development of the 'Toddler',
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 221 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-20-05
34. Portrait of a Young Coward reviews
Choosing to die is easy. Dying is the hard part.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-18-05
35. Amputee reviews
One-handed philosophy.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-18-05
36. Don't reviews
Some people should mind their own business.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-11-05
37. Train reviews
One man does not catch the train like everyone else.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-30-05
38. Shopping in Basra reviews
While people are having it rough in Iraq, what are we doing at home?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-21-05
39. Dream Sequence » reviews
Dreams make no sense when you're awake, but the ones you remember are worth it.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 545 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-21-05
40. ちかん reviews
Written in protest against sexual harassment on Japanese trains. Features Japanese sentences.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 178 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-13-04
41. His Innocence reviews
IMPORTANT: Do not read if you are particularly sensitive.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 12-13-04
42. Monday's Child reviews
Christmas parody of Rachel Sturges' 'Monday's Child'. Influenced by Tim Burton's 'Vincent'.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 376 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-12-04
43. Envying Cats reviews
The sad truth: talking to a cat about your problems never makes you feel any better.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-12-04
44. Blue reviews
Sympathetic background to the depressed.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-11-04
45. MISSING:LOGIC reviews
Why can't people just get along? And if they can't, why can't they give a good reason?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-1-04
46. Scared of Men reviews
This is open to interpretation.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-25-04
47. There must have been sand in the alcohol reviews
A sonnet about someone who gets so drunk she imagines herself to be a palm tree friends with God.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-18-04
48. I Am A Secret » reviews
Written for those who are too shy to show themselves to the person they love.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 11-15-04 - Published: 10-19-04
49. The Case of Sir Raphus Cucullatus reviews
It's time the dodo had his nonsensical revenge!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-15-04
50. Civil War reviews
Critical satire of... whatever you like. (PG for use of the 'D' word.)
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-6-04
51. A Portrait of You reviews
Sometimes, when you really, really love someone, doing this is going a little too far. (Italian sonnet.)
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-29-04
52. The Tale of Fingal Gloom » reviews
A story that hasn't been told to a fox before.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-29-04
53. I believe Drinking is an old man's sport reviews
A serious/humorous outlook on drinking in pubs. (English sonnet.)
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-29-04 - Published: 10-28-04
54. Musing reviews
I'm certain this train of thought has been caught by more 100% of the thinking population.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-19-04
55. the sea at night reviews
Have you ever seen the sea at night?
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-17-04
56. You have no right to be happy reviews
You wake up to a bad day, but the rest of the world doesn't seem to know about it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-17-04
57. Commoners reviews
An indignant (and one-sided) response to the division of social classes by wealth, education – and chiefly - accent.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-15-04
58. Christopher Columbus reviews
Being attracted to someone would bring harm rather than gratify...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-8-04
59. THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE reviews
For those who have tried their best to live on.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 10-6-04
60. The Door reviews
Beware, toilet graffiti. (Double cinquain.)
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-29-04
61. The Ballad of Sam O'Grady reviews
A shady character gone doolally?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-21-04
62. Jealousy reviews
Bitter version of the romantic sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning ('How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…') aimed at every class' Teacher's Pet.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-20-04
63. Ode to the Goodlooking Lad reviews
Being good-looking isn't as easy as some people think.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-20-04
64. The Quiet Gentleman reviews
About a troubled young man.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 551 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-19-04
65. When I stop ranting reviews
A way to kill the conversation.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-18-04
66. Obvious reviews
A short portfolio of words and phrases that accompany this word.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-17-04
67. Victoria reviews
Doesn't anybody else think that porcelain dolls emanate Evil Intent?
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-17-04
68. The Phoenix reviews
Life is about living with confidence.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-17-04
69. Dear Mother » reviews
Written for Mothering Sunday 2004.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 3 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-17-04
70. Selfcentred reviews
A satirical prayer in the Confession Box.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9-17-04
71. 90s Child reviews
Influenced by an article read in the Daily Mail entitled "Adults act like children and children act like adults." Is it a wonder why the kids aren't alright...?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9-16-04
72. Smokers reviews
Dedicated to smokers.
Poetry: School - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 386 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 9-14-04
73. They Call The Others 'Heroes' reviews
Just when you think everything's dandy, that little voice starts talking. It tries to make the Way Out sound better than the Way In. It tries to make you give up.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-10-04
74. To Andrew Jacob reviews
Good-humoured response to a fellow fictionpress poet's haiku 'I Am Piano'. (Slightly revised.)
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-31-04
75. Tea & Coffee reviews
Written in response to gay marriages. What's the gigantic fuss about? Love is love, isn't it?
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 7-28-04
76. Dear Mr Blair reviews
He's a man born to be questioned, yet he's born without the answers.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 245 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-25-04
77. Comment on Tony Blair reviews
Satirical verse I once wrote on an envelope I sent to a friend. Mr Blair, poor bloke; doesn't know whether he's coming or going...
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-25-04
78. The Great War reviews
A satirical poem inspired by reading WW1 Literature. The only war that truly exists is the one between us and our minds.
Poetry: War - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-25-04
79. My life fails to rhyme reviews
Don't you get the feeling that, some days, life is just one huge song you don't know how to sing?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-25-04
80. The Astronaut reviews
I wrote this poem after glimpsing an astronaut on a science textbook. I was trying to argue how the exploration of Space spoils someone's belief in (a) god. You go up there and find that you're in a vacuum - a Nowhere - so how can there be (a) god?
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-25-04
81. Saviour reviews
A short poem on what it is like to be a Saviour nobody appreciates or recognises.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-25-04
82. The Parcel reviews
Written with inspiration from the conditions of WW1 and the indignation of British soldiers during the War on Terrorism.
Poetry: War - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-25-04
83. The Parable of the Sun and the Seed reviews
Sometimes, parents who mean too well do it too well. This is for the daughters (and sons) out there who think so too.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 723 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-25-04
84. The Wind spoke of Nothing reviews
Social Anxiety (or Social Phobia, as it is also known) is - according to psycholgists and their statistics for the Government and the General Good of the People - supposedly the world's third most common mental illness.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-24-04
85. Have you heard what I've said reviews
For those who have had an experience similar to the person in this poem.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-24-04