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| Zen Phoenix |
Author has written 433 stories for Sci-Fi, Life, Humor, Fantasy, Haiku, War, General, Family, Fantasy, Love, Fable, Essay, General, and Action. I'm a wild artist, a martial arts junkie, and a shameless lover of kung fu movies. I collect swords, know how to use them, and loathe this mundane trap I have been placed in since birth. I write to escape, to bear the monotony, and to bring to life the world that I should have been born into. Hope you like it. I love to play Dungeons and Dragons, among other modules. O yes...I love gaming. It is good. ;) "God is not like men, who lie; He is not a human who changes his mind. Whatever he promises, he does; He speaks and it is done." - Numbers 23:19 "So the Lord changed his mind and did not bring on his people the disaster he threatened." - Exodus 32:14 If you, my faithful reviewers, enjoy my sense of this dark tragedy we call life you should check out my wifes poetry as well. You can find her here. http://www.fictionpress.com/~voidwhisper Go there now or your end shall be squishy and eternal. | |||||||||
1. War Everlasting » reviewsFaeric Silvearre has been charged with the task of training a young Draconian warrior. Along the way he finds himself meeting many new people, including a street rat with a strange past...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 92,457 - Reviews: 122 - Updated: 9-24-09 - Published: 9-24-042. Moments reviewsThe Doctor had to show me how to properly lotion my wenus...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 250 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-093. Road to Nowhere reviewsIt might minutely be plausible to be one in a million. But more then likely you are like four or seven in a million...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 281 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-094. Falling Up reviewsI've always wondered if fish have dreams...If I was a fish I know I would have one great all consuming dream. Not to be a fish.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-095. Pressure reviewsI don't want to go to prison. I don't think I could handle the anal skullduggery...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-096. Cantus Libertas reviewsNote to self: I hate you.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-097. Mashed or Not reviewsIf that's not the kettle calling the choir black...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-098. The Moment reviewsIf a tree falls in the forest do the other trees hold a service, cry, wail, and moan, then promptly forget the tree ever existed?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-12-09 - Published: 9-12-099. Figments reviewsMy fear of being eaten has gone so far as to become an edible complex.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 209 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0910. Winter Wonders reviewsThere is nothing more American then baseball, apple pie, and a chinese elvis...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0911. Calamitious Blues reviewsA man asked me who to blame for his house being torn apart by a tornado. I looked at him in all seriousness and said, "Blame the Butterfly."Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0912. Trickle Down reviewsI think it should be mandatory to abort all born again christians after they are born, but before they are born again.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0913. Innocent reviewsFor the latest in downloadable Zen click here @. Now temporarily available in Sober...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0914. Dewdrop Valley reviewsSometimes I take a deep breath and look at the world around me and think, "Damn it smells here..."Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 258 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0915. Winters Mourning reviewsWater is the only mother I will ever claim.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0916. Turning Old reviewsHalf the people alive today are riding the short train to stupid town...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0917. To Feast on the Sun reviewsI'm an inter-faith athiest, I deny the gods of all faiths equally...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-28-09 - Published: 4-28-0918. The Sea of Doubt reviewsThere should be a program for those addicted to religion. They could call it J.A. for Jesus Anonymous.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0919. The Scarlet Solarium reviewsWhen I grow up I want to be a casual potentate.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 455 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0920. The Fall of Shadows reviewsThere are to many ugly people for there really to be a good god...unless he has my sense of humor.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0921. Spectral Bliss reviewsYes I hear voices in my head...but they are never talking to me.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0922. Dragon Slayer reviewsIf I built a little town out of popsicle sticks and marshmellows and invited dwarves to live there could I call myself Lord of the Wee?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 321 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0923. Dead Until I Die reviewsEveryone gets all worked up when you mock what's his nuts and his cross.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0924. Cryogenic Dream reviewsI'm that one dude and don't you forget it!Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0925. Miracle reviewsI miss me already and I'm not even dead...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 1-2-0926. For Love of Her reviewsIn the battle between the heart and the mind the only true winner in the end is the skeleton...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0827. Crippled reviewsI've decided to stop putting things off till tomorrow...tomorrow.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0828. Dance Today reviewsI never go to water parks in the Midwest anymore. Why do I need to see a family of 300 pound hambeasts forming cholesterol molecules using their bodies and yellow inner-tubes loosely connected by ionic fat hand holding?"Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0829. Till I am Shadow Too reviewsIf anyone were to ask me to have sex I would have to answer with a nymphatic yes!Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0830. Passed Beyond reviewsI would have so many bands if I made a band everytime I heard a great name for a band. Like the Winking Sphincters.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0831. Desolate reviewsI try not to wake up too happy in the morning. You never know where the day will lead and the last thing I want is to be guilty of premature joculation."Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0832. Woke Up Dead reviewsI woke up dead half an hour before I went to bed...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-10-08 - Published: 8-10-0833. The White Roof Conspiracy reviewsAt some point this fiction must become reality or there will be no reality for us anymore. Is it already to late?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0834. The Breaking Point reviewsA being pushed to far, will sometimes break in violent ways.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0835. Bloody Sun reviewsThe day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0836. The Eyes of Eternity reviewsThe problem with self discipline is it's so hard to force yourself to have it.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0837. Chaz Nasty reviewsI tried to sit through the meeting for premature ejaculators, but I left early.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0838. Paradox reviewsI hate that the sales clerk at the book store won't show me where the self-help section is. She said it would defeat the purposeComplete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0839. The Dance reviewsThe suburbs are what is left when the developers rip out all the trees, then name the streets after themComplete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0840. The Majestic Roach reviewsThe perfect formula for success: Rise early, work late, strike oil.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0841. The Basil Truth reviewsExistence: it's better than nothingComplete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 6-22-0842. The Long Road Home reviewsI told her I was trying, but you can't milk a dead horse...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 4-30-08 - Published: 4-30-0843. The Torture reviewsI find it very funny that "God" saves only those that know how to swim from drowning...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 4-30-08 - Published: 4-30-0844. The Machine reviewsLife just pinched me in the sphincter yet again...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-30-08 - Published: 4-30-0845. The Agonist reviewsWal-Mart, where white trash goes to die...or maybe that was shop?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0846. Black Sheep reviewsThe reason you don't have to take an aptitude test to have children is because our glorious leaders would never pass it...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0847. The Sound of Self reviewsDon't mind me, my brains on a permanent walk-about...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0848. Fickle reviewsGod didn't make stupid people silly, that was just Satan peeing in the mixing bowl...apparently.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0849. Drifting Shadows reviewsYour mom looks like she was slapped together with paste and safety scissors at summer camp. Then some kid took her home and gave her to his parents and they had to pretend to like her, but she just got thrown in a drawer next to the buckskin wallet.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0850. All the Fading Flowers reviewsJesus came to forgive us of our transgressions. In his infinite mercy he sacrificed himself to Lord Voldemort and the fearsome Nazgul. Ever since that fateful day, he has lain in cryogenic slumber within an adamantine cage, waiting for the glorious RapturComplete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 41 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0851. Morose reviewsSupport evolution, Have your local idiot spayed or neutered.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-24-08 - Published: 3-24-0852. The Glorious Death of Captain Quinn reviewsSometimes the reasons for valor are more complicated then a storyteller would have you believe.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 880 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0853. Wayward reviewsFaith is not a good enough shield against the recurve claws and forward facing eyes of life.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0854. The Winters Queen reviewsMy soul would make a great paper weight. Then it would have a purpose.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0855. Wisps of Tomorrow reviewsI'm a realist, instead of cleaning I made my house out of dirt.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0856. Homecoming reviewsAtheism the universal doctrine of NuUh.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0857. Prison reviewsThe agony of my psychosis is softened by my narcissism...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-22-08 - Published: 1-22-0858. I Stood Alone reviewsBathing in someone's blood is not all it's cracked up to be.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 178 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-12-07 - Published: 11-12-0759. Something's Wrong reviewsWe're sorry, this brain has been disconnected, or is no longer in service.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-12-07 - Published: 11-12-0760. Dreamlimit reviewsBobs restaurant really took off when he replaced the words 'tortured baby cow' with 'veal' on his menu...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-14-07 - Published: 9-14-0761. Earth reviewsI have decided that you plebians must now refer to me by the Unholy Tetragrammaton of my true name 'JSTN'.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-14-07 - Published: 9-14-0762. The Day reviewsA forlorn and depressed man finally finds a glimmer of hope...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 543 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-14-07 - Published: 9-14-0763. Koi Arena reviewsI sacrificed my Tickle me Elmo to Hades...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0764. The Mulberry King reviewsI hate gravity for having such a death grip on my privates...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0765. Twizzler reviewsI always wanted to wander the western plain, unfortunatly I have a deathly fear of crashing...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0766. Opiated reviewsSocalled 'metrosexuals' don't enrage me or threaten my sexuality, they only inspire a kind of deep pity. You don't fluff up your plumage to such a ridiculous degree unless you're incredibly desperate to ward off really big predators.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 333 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0767. Soulfree reviewsWhen I eventually succumb to the withering effects of time and irony, I hope to have a hundred crying fans at my funeral pretending they knew me really well and using their grief to get laid.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0768. Lost Zion reviewsDefication is such a filthy term, I prefer making an anal rendering.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0769. Nevernow reviewsThe reality is bees...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0770. Faces and Shadows reviewsI had the intent to be a nice person today. You should be happy with that, it is probably all your going to get.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 72 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-0771. Black Horizons reviewsI can lift a fully grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager,I once ate a pound of WalMart's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. Lawmen fear me.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0772. Intwined reviewsYour Mom looks like a big flabby pile of bacon wrapped in flesh colored spandex.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0773. Fiction With Diction reviewsI hereby confirm in writing that I buy children from their parents and use them to test my booby traps.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0774. Soul Apart reviewsI am afraid that I will die without ever realizing my dream of trepanning a mermaid.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0775. A Chance to Play reviewsAnd God said, Let there be eukaryotes to populate the Deep, and let them congregate and multiply in such a way as to form symbiotic relationships. And God called the symbiotic pairs multicellular organisms.The lost and controversial Book of EvolutionComplete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 323 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0776. The Calling reviewsFIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who areabout to be betrayed.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0777. Escape reviewsFat bikers shouldn't wear leather jackets. I'm pretty sure it's like Biblically forbidden to wrap a pig in cowskin.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0778. After the End reviewsMy fat sweaty neighbors are contemptible scum worthy of nothing more than a short life of physically demanding unskilled labor that culminates in a fatal accident and their bodies being ground up and sold as dog food in China to feed unloved poor people.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0779. Doomed reviewsGetting a bad review from an idiot is kind of like having your hygiene criticized by Pig Pen as he lays dying from Hepatitis C.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0780. Luminous Equation reviewsI do not refrain from eating Jello because I do not like it. I don't eat it because I still believe in the existence of Teddy the Jello Troll.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0781. Land of Sin reviewsDon't take it the wrong way, when I say that I hate you, that mearly is an analogy for the vitriolic contempt I feel for your soul...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0782. Fools in the Garden of ID reviewsNothing will ever make me want to bust a move...ever!Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0783. Shadow Chasers reviewsI wear my hair like a tempest of hatred that surrounds me every waking moment of my tormented existence.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0784. Interrogation reviewsSometimes chance just gotta screw ya.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0785. Vitriolic Love reviewsIn all actuallity, when it comes right down to it, we are not...NOT, I reiterate. beautiful on the inside. We are more a squishy mass of goopy yellow, red, and pink, meat and pus.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-3-07 - Published: 7-3-0786. Memoirs of a Tortured Soul reviewsDear Jesus Please make everyone die. Amen.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 850 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0787. The Drunken Dance reviewsGive a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Beat him with a fish and he'll never be hungry for fish again...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0788. Turbulence reviewsWho are you people and why am I naked?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0789. The Sea of Me reviewsA fat man who loves himself is like god giving you lemons and you make lemonade, except it's really god throwing funnel cakes at you, and you eat them.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0790. Tarnished reviewsI cherish those moments when it feels like god is peering directly at me, but deep down inside I know that all he is saying is, Nope, still retarded...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0791. The Dancing Phoenix reviewsI created something for all you gamers out there that feel you need to lose a few pounds, it is called the 5 Bastard Spoon of Fasting.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 326 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0792. Afraid reviewsLife is like a box of chocolates, except they're all turds...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0793. The Madness of Man reviewsI always wonder if when I am thinking, people around me can hear Flight of the Bumblebee playing.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0794. The Kingdom Beyond reviewsI was crestfallen when I learned that you couldn't go to college to become a Samurai.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0795. Lost Dreams reviewsSometimes I hate going to the store and buying both rat chow and cat food...Logic would dictate that I eliminate a step here.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0796. Tides of Thought reviewsDo you realize we are living in the largest insane asylum of all time. Ahh, but asylums have fences you say. We do, it's called the atmosphere...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-11-07 - Published: 5-11-0797. The Greatness of Why reviewsWhat the world needs now isn't love sweet love, what it needs is another good plague.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-2-07 - Published: 4-2-0798. Museum of Self reviewsYou know that thing that has been bothering you for days...I did that.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-2-07 - Published: 4-2-0799. Awakening Dragon reviewsWhen the earth finally gets around to expelling this virus called man I hope I am the last one alive so I can yell, HA HA, SERVES YOU RIGHT, STUPID HUMANS!Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-13-07 - Published: 3-13-07100. Divine Integration reviewsLife would be so much better without...well without you in it.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-13-07 - Published: 3-13-07101. Fallen reviewsDo the people in my dreams dream of me when they go to sleep?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-5-07 - Published: 3-5-07102. Looming Epiphany reviewsI've often thought that a mollusk could beat a mountain lion, if given enough time to strategize.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-5-07 - Published: 3-5-07103. Casting Ophelia reviewsThis society is what happens when you tell idiots there opinion matters...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-27-07 - Published: 2-27-07104. Transcendalia reviewsThe soldiers of the Burger King will never topple the McTatorship.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-27-07 - Published: 2-27-07105. The Shadows of September reviewsWhere do babies come from? Asked little Timmy. Martha froze. It would break his little heart if he knew about the experiment...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 311 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06106. Goodbye Tomorrow reviewsSomebody remind me to bury the hookers before they start to smell...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06107. Translucent Tears reviewsI tried to get a lesbian who hates men to love me by telling her my man meat is like a daddy longlegs spider, it may be poisonous but its mouth is so small it can't bite you....Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06108. Wasted reviewsSome people say it's not the size of the pencil that matters. But only people with small pencils think that.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06109. Cluttered reviewsHumanity makes me want to hurt myself...well more humanity then myself...actually all humanity and zero me...man just screw you guys.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06110. Wind Country reviewsAll I got in my stocking for Christmas is a box of Pop Rocks and a can of coke...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06111. The Beginings of Truth reviewsThe world was not made for us, we were made from the world. And it's time we started acting like a part of it, not a consumer of it.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06112. Genuinflection reviewsGuns don't kill people, bullets do you retard.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06113. Hidden reviewsI hate being so combustible, but usually only when I am on fire...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-06 - Published: 12-28-06114. Wake the F&CK up reviewsMy Homunculi staged a walk out... I feel so alone.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06115. Time of War reviewsCongratulate me! I have finally made it to Santa's Total Bastard list.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06116. Without You reviewsYes I hear voices in my head, but don't worry, they only speak Tlingit.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06117. Purple Toenails reviewsNothing puts a bunch in my thong like people implying I'm not manly...Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06118. Who reviewsJesus isn't so great, my level four mage can do all those miracles.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06119. The Sunshine Girl reviewsI'm what lives in your closet.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06120. Recipe 42 reviewsIf you squint and look at me sideways I almost appear human...almost.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 58 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06121. Longing for You reviewsGet your head out of the toilet bowl... we don't taste waste.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06122. Dead in the Water reviewsMy brain is a strange journey on a road made of peanut butter in a landscape of ramen noodles and cigarettes.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-06123. Demented Diligence reviewsI think back to the days when I breathed water and think...god I love gummy worms.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 9-21-06 - Published: 9-21-06124. Born to Lose reviewsFeeling overcrowded? Support the gay agenda...more ladies for me anyways ;).General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-21-06 - Published: 9-21-06125. The Whisper of the Wheel reviewsIf I were an amputee I would go to the beach and bury myself in sand. Then ask small children to help me get out and then when they start digging with their little plastic shovels I would lift my stump out of the sand and scream "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-14-06 - Published: 9-14-06126. Tilted Horizon reviewsI try to listen to nature but all it says is, "Go, go, have your little thoughts."General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-14-06 - Published: 9-14-06127. Heckling the Sunrise reviewsMust you rip me in twain and dance in my guts with such enthusiasm?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 381 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-2-06 - Published: 9-2-06128. Simon Finch and the Specter of Oakham Woods reviewsThe heroic accountant Simon Finch misses his bus one dark night, forcing him to walk home through a gloomy wood full of shadows, moonlight, and...a ghost?General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,691 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-31-06 - Published: 8-31-06129. Seasons of the Soul reviewsThere are only two infinite things, really. The universe and human stupidity. And physicists are unsure about the formerGeneral - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-31-06 - Published: 8-31-06130. Keep it in Your Pants reviewsGod created the dinosaurs to punish the gays. It's in Leviticus. "He who shall know another man so shall know the cruel talons of the raptor. Thus spake Jesus and then Jesus cast polymorph self and transformed into a bugbear. The sodomites scattered.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 364 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-31-06 - Published: 8-31-06131. The Metal Night reviewsYou never realize how often ants burst spontaneously into flames until you really watch them with a magnifying glass on a hot summers day.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-23-06 - Published: 8-23-06132. Tribal reviewsI think about drowning my troubles a lot...but I can never get her to go swimming with me.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-23-06 - Published: 8-23-06133. The Cleansing reviewsWhen I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-23-06 - Published: 8-23-06134. Sacred Rhythm reviewsA funny thing I like to do at the chiropractors is, when he's working on me, I go limp and soil myself so he thinks I'm dead.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-23-06 - Published: 8-23-06135. Dinner Conversation reviews"I have decided, in the interests of population balance, to fill the void left by the cave bears and start eating you all."General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 323 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-14-06 - Published: 8-14-06136. The Further Adventures of Simon Finch reviews"Simon Finch, everyone's favorite accountant, encounters an innocent in distress and must save the day yet again"General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,560 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-14-06 - Published: 8-14-06137. Sundered Heart reviewsThat which does not kill you is only softening you up for later.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 342 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-14-06 - Published: 8-14-06138. Summer Shadows reviewsThe fact that I can't taste my own tongue is driving me mad...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06139. Ren Diddle Diddle reviewsDid you know that you can turn in the skin of an unbaptized baby at Spencer's Gifts for store credit?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06140. I Hate You reviewsIf you want to get a feel for my utter boredom and disgust for humanity then just press the same key on a piano for 180 minutes while looking at a picture of a ball sack.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06141. For The Gentle Troubador reviewsThis Halloween I am going to wrap my man giblets in police tape and go as a crime scene.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06142. Break Out reviewsI wish it was legal to surf cars on the highway.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06143. Dalliance with Darkness reviewsI wish I had invisible hands so I could scratch myself in public...without people looking at me funny.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 171 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06144. Only One Shoe reviewsSuicide hotline. Please hold.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06145. For Eaten by Housecats reviewsIt is my gathering and I will weep if I am thus inclined to do so.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06146. What Funny Little Fish reviewsI was wondering. How do you get your head so far up there? And how do you breath?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06147. The Great Unknown reviewsDo you think I like pointing out the obviouse? Well, it is kind of fun laughing at you...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06148. The Crystal Shade reviewsI don't mind most hand-me-downs except for two. One is underwear, which I refuse to wear. And the other is the earth, which I have no choice about taking.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06149. Meating Place reviewsI'm God and so are my cat's...well, that one anyways.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06150. Centrifuge reviewsI took a nap on top of the shelf today, just to see why the cats like it so much...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06151. Cerridwen My Lover reviewsSometimes you look at a guy and wonder whether his tan is real or spray-on. At least if he's Dracula we know for sure.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06152. Dandelion Daydreams reviewsEveryone keeps telling me that madness will take its toll. Good thing I have exact change.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-11-06 - Published: 8-11-06153. Forever Today reviewsIt's good to be the Zen...sometimes, Fricking Leeds!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06154. The Rhyming Sublime reviewsI'm only human so screw off with your 'stay dark or the parents get it'. They already got it, I destroyed their will to live long ago and all that is left is to give them sweet release, so be my guest!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06155. Life reviewsWe're all pink on the inside, baby. Except me. I'm full of circuit boards and moths.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06156. For Doozerballz reviewsYesterday I ran over a rainbow and fashioned a festive cape from the corpse.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06157. Nothing to Say reviewsI am not aging. I am simply leveling up.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06158. The Reality of Faith reviewsI haven't lost it, I never had it to begin with...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-3-06 - Published: 8-3-06159. Nothing More reviewsAll hail 667, the neighbor of the beast!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06160. The Spaces Between reviewsA Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06161. Dream reviewsMy indian ancestors came when I called but all they did was rifle through my stuff...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06162. Asylum reviewsThis is the most delicious mortal sin since I violated my neighbor with a Charleston Chew.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06163. Mental Thunder reviewsMy entire image is carefully crafted to lure in the unwary.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06164. Why Do I Care reviewsMy date didn't believe me when I told her she was beautiful. No no, I said, lies are good for your complexion...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06165. Counterfeit reviewsMy danger stick is facing forward and has one eye. Does that mean I'm a sexual predator?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 7-21-06166. A Whisper of Wind reviewsPower doesn't come from faith or hard work or integrity. Power comes from being able to bite the skull off a bison.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-12-06 - Published: 7-12-06167. Into the Unknown reviewsI wander barefoot through the cosmic ether of thought and think to myself...didn't I have shoes on?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-12-06 - Published: 7-12-06168. Fading reviewsYou won't laugh at my kickass sword collection when a violent peasant uprising threatens the social order!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-12-06 - Published: 7-12-06169. Diluted reviewsI'm finished with these weak little gnomes! I'm getting a lawn golem!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-12-06 - Published: 7-12-06170. Incomplete reviewsLife is a bucket of crap...but at least it's my bucket.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06171. Graveyard Jitters reviewsListening to you is like listening to a record backwards and I have only one response...huh?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06172. A Memory in the Sand reviewsDon't waste time worrying for fools. No matter how many pounds of common sense you try to give them, they are still just dumb.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-30-06 - Published: 6-30-06173. Need reviewsYou know what really keeps god out of your house? THE FACT THAT HE IS A FRICKING FIGMENT...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-30-06 - Published: 6-30-06174. Summer 2006 reviewsPeople keep telling me to find Jesus. Not to worry, I tell them, I have his location pretty well nailed down...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-22-06 - Published: 6-22-06175. The Boneyard reviewsI like to paint my name on things in blood...well not my blood.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06176. All of Me for a Wandering Rose reviewsIf you want a true feeling of liberation why not embrace apathy...then again I don't care what you do.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06177. Today Was Supposed to be Tomorrow reviewsYou do realize that we have long digestive tracts...which mean we are not true carnivores but herbivores. Ever wonder why most of you act like prey.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06178. Song of the Astronomer reviewsI've invested so much time in trying to convince the female population that "Zen Phoenix" is the fifth food group...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06179. Forget reviewsThe neighbors were a little offended when they saw me pissing in the corner of my yard but, as I told them, "how else am I to keep God off my lawn"General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06180. The Big Joke reviewsThe end is horrible and squishy.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-20-06 - Published: 6-20-06181. Testicular Fortitude reviewsDressing up in victorian underwear and dancing in a graveyard does not a goth make.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 256 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-5-06 - Published: 6-5-06182. The Last Ride reviewsFor Cerus vengeance is all the King has left him.Action - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,201 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-5-06 - Published: 6-5-06183. The Hunger reviewsYes, infact, you can live your life hypocriticly... if that's all you aspire to.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-5-06 - Published: 6-5-06184. Negative Space reviewsLast night as I lay on my back in bed looking up at the stars I wondered, where the hell is my ceiling?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 5-25-06 - Published: 5-25-06185. Please reviewsDo not eat the dingleberry smoothie! Dingleberries are not in fact berries at all. Now I know...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-25-06 - Published: 5-25-06186. Solitude reviewsMein Schwartz est un flamen-fuhrmen.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 59 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-25-06 - Published: 5-25-06187. Majesty reviewsI wiggled and wobbled then I did fall down... a couple times. And I landed on my head, which bleed a lot. But I got ice cream so I'm alright.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-17-06 - Published: 5-17-06188. We Just Are reviewsWho the hell are you people and where are my pants?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06189. Hell reviewsDo not mistake my Misanthropic words for true hatred... it's just general dislike.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 80 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06190. So Say the Children reviewsA man faces the end of all he knows.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06191. This Metal Man reviewsSomeone told me to try Jesus and I told them that I would... but the edible parts had decayed long, long ago.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06192. Somewhere Close to Nowhere reviewsI'm waving at you from the highest window of the Ivory Tower. Or through the bars on the window of the dungeon if I've somehow found my way into Solomon's.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06193. Fire reviewsYou all just hate Americans because we have all the pie.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-16-06 - Published: 5-16-06194. The Torment reviewsYou must push yourself my child, for no one else knows where you keep the strawberries.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-25-06 - Published: 4-25-06195. No More reviewsI rolled a D-20 to see if I could get out of bed today but failed both my constitution and my strength. But apparently I look good not doing anything, so my charisma roll says.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-25-06 - Published: 4-25-06196. Down in the Deep reviewsWhat? Did you say something? I'm sorry I was ignoring the fact that anyone else existed...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-25-06 - Published: 4-25-06197. The Warlords Peace reviewsResigned to his fate a Warlord ponders his loneliness, that is until something unexpected happens.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,289 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-12-06 - Published: 4-12-06198. Lonely Feet reviewsAll things in moderation my child, all things but sex, it's all about sex.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-12-06 - Published: 4-12-06199. Design reviewsEnjoy the desolation that is truth, or perhaps a gobstopper, which is desolate too.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-12-06 - Published: 4-12-06200. Pride of the Forsaken » reviewsWho is the stranger who appears at the gates of Durgans village and pays his way in heads? In his quest for the truth, Durgan will be drawn all the way to hell and back.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,152 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 3-25-06 - Published: 1-2-06201. Torn Asunder reviewsI've always wondered how hotdogs can survive in the wild without eyes.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06202. Piss Off reviewsNote to self: The big blue thing at the bottom of the urinal is not actually a gigantic blue raspberry Mento...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06203. For Sisyphus reviewsI just found out the sea cucumber eats and defecates from the same orifice. At first I was disgusted, but then I thought "Now THAT's efficiency."General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06204. Faded Dreams reviewsMy degus Count Fugly and One Eyed Tilla could kick Raunchy Pete's ass any day...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 30 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06205. For Satan's Mittens reviewsI'm so lonely tonight. The cats popped my date...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06206. At The End reviewsI'm nothing more then a whimper in time...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-8-06 - Published: 3-8-06207. Satyr reviewsI've been smacked up beside the head with the epiphany two-by-four.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-24-06 - Published: 1-24-06208. The Perfect Lonely Day reviewsAll the jive is mine!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-24-06 - Published: 1-24-06209. Dreaming reviewsI'm so glad I'm finally losing weight! Could be the exercise and the good diet, or the evening walks with the neighbors. Or possibly the heroin.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-20-06 - Published: 1-20-06210. Save the Suffering reviewsNo one at my high school reunion was impressed with me. All of them are doctors or lawyers or CEOs, but I KNOW I was the only Level 23 Dungeon Master!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-14-06 - Published: 1-14-06211. Rage reviewsShut your mouth or I'll slap you with the wet end of my sock!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-14-06 - Published: 1-14-06212. Cast In Stone reviewsI've started wearing a cross made of ham because my ex-girlfriend is a Muslim and I'm afraid she might infect me with her bite.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 1-2-06 - Published: 1-2-06213. Hibernate reviewsThe Troubadour never appreciated the statues that I would lovingly sculpt for her every day, and place gently on her pillow at night so they would be the first things she sees. She just yelled at me to stay out of the litter box.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-29-05 - Published: 12-29-05214. The Lunchtime Adventure reviewsSimon Finch is not like other acountants. This is the tale of one of his greatest lunchtime forays into the hinterlands.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,460 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-29-05 - Published: 12-29-05215. The Starchildren reviewsCross me and I'll have the Troubadour kick you with the pointy shoes. Then set my pack of rabid reviewers on you.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-29-05 - Published: 12-29-05216. The Fear reviewsI only lie when neccesity dictates that I do so... but I do so well.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-29-05 - Published: 12-29-05217. Summer Of The Soul reviewsI know my cats hate me, they keep peeing in my shoes.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-14-05 - Published: 12-14-05218. Shall I Die Today reviewsI am the merkin raider.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-14-05 - Published: 12-14-05219. Thoughts » reviewsWell I thought you might like to see what it's like in here, so whenever I have a thought I feel like writting down, other then a story or poem, I will make another entry, enjoy...Essay - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,182 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 4-16-05220. Fever Dream reviewsI am the gray area...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05221. Eyes In The Darkness reviewsI'm glad I can't fly, it hurts enough falling from this height.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05222. Winter Comes reviewsThese mud pies taste like crap!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 48 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05223. The Hidden River reviewsI wear the fabric of time...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05224. Nihilistic Tendency reviewsGod, if god there is, is a solipsist.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05225. Sweet Whisper reviewsI have drank the drink of the drunken drunkard.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-9-05 - Published: 10-9-05226. The Caves Of Forever reviewsThere is nothing funnier then watching a dumbass be himself.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 58 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05227. Visions Of Nothing reviewsSorry, I failed 'How To Be Normal' in High School...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 53 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05228. Who Are You? reviewsIt hurt's right here. Not so much here or here, but just right here.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05229. Despair reviewsI surf the tides of despair.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05230. Peace Comes In Moments reviewsMy pee glows in the dark, but only when I drink glow sticks...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05231. Ending reviewsJust for the record, I don't care.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-13-05 - Published: 9-13-05232. To Kill A Man reviewsA young man discovers for the first time what it is truly like to kill a man.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 634 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05233. Into The Darkness reviewsLife is like the popsicles the strange man on the corner used to give me as a child; It tastes really good in the begining, but by the end you realize it's just a penis dipped in Tang...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05234. War Machine reviewsI've decided to become an active participant in natural selection.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05235. The Humdrum reviewsI can understand that life knocks you down sometimes, but does it have to stomp on your nuts while your there...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05236. The Music Of The Damned reviewsBlame the gnome.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05237. Please Notice Me reviewsAnother word for 'fleet', is 'coward'.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05238. The Earth Will Remember reviewsFor Hung Like A Squid, you rock man.And remember that all roads should be traveled.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-20-05 - Published: 6-20-05239. The Whispering Winds Of Edelford reviewsWooHoo natural 20, wait where am I?General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-9-05 - Published: 6-9-05240. A Midnight Rose reviewsWhen I die I would like the words, "Hotel Maggot" carved into my skull.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-9-05 - Published: 6-9-05241. Today I Will Whisper reviewsJust so you know, "The 8-ball told me to", does not stand up in court...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-9-05 - Published: 6-9-05242. Thinking Of Death reviewsNothing says I hate you like a brick to the head.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 55 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-9-05 - Published: 6-9-05243. On Dark Rainy Nights reviewsI'm mentally eclectic.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-9-05 - Published: 6-9-05244. Forgotten reviewsI hate when people don't stand for the national anthem. So when I was at the basketball game and the guy next to me didn't stand up, I grabbed the unpatriotic bastard and threw him down the stairs. Then after that, I took his wheelchair and threw that tooGeneral - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-19-05 - Published: 5-19-05245. Feel The Sorrow reviewsSometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you, or violently sodomizes you.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-19-05 - Published: 5-19-05246. Degu Dreams reviewsThe Lord works in mysterious ways in order to screw you out of what you deserve.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-19-05 - Published: 5-19-05247. Empty Days reviewsFool me once, shame on you,Fool me twice, shame on me,Fool me three times, shame on your mother, who is a whoreGeneral - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-19-05 - Published: 5-19-05248. Where Has He Been reviewsIf I was your God I wouldn't show my face either.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 52 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-19-05 - Published: 5-19-05249. Blame It On The Bong reviewsCorruptions are clogging all the holes in my head.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-18-05 - Published: 4-18-05250. The Shadowed Dawn reviewsI want to make a human sized bug zapper, so I can fling random people into it when i get bored...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 4-18-05 - Published: 4-18-05251. For Tickle Me Preacher reviewsPuns are just nasty, besides being the root of all things unsound.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05252. Enough Said reviewsI like the unfortunate, they make me feel good about myself...General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05253. For Hung Like A Squid reviewsAcid makes the world go round, round...and round again.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05254. Cold reviewsYou just missed me...General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05255. Last Man Standing reviewsI'd like to thank nature, and society, for making me the cold, unfeeling, bastard I am today.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05256. Masterful Con reviewsI wish I could take a year of life from everyone and add it to mine... I don't want to live forever, just longer then I’m gonna!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05257. ADD reviewsAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! OK, I'm better now.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05258. The Walking Dead reviewsDon't eat the cookies! They are tainted with EVIL!General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05259. Art reviewsI wish I could dip my brain in chocolate...among other things.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-16-05 - Published: 4-16-05260. The Storm reviewsSave me all the squishy bits.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 48 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 4-2-05 - Published: 4-2-05261. Sinner reviewsIf I eat meat, and am made of meat. Does that mean that plant's are made of sunshine?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-1-05 - Published: 4-1-05262. Dark Day reviewsI'm so poor I don't even get a damn hand basket, I'm going to hell in brown paper sack!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-1-05 - Published: 4-1-05263. Mirage reviewsI eat sand!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-21-05 - Published: 3-21-05264. Crimson Tears reviewsLong live the forgotten.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05265. The Sunny Day Rule reviews.I require the meat of a thousand babies, stir fried with almonds and butter, served in a thousand very small bowls... and perhaps a mint sauceGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05266. Peace With The Dawn reviewsI am ambidextrously parasitic.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05267. The Rascal reviewsTheres always truth in fiction, but truth is sometimes wrong.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05268. Solitary Man reviewsWe can't all be right, can we?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05269. Hegemony reviewsNothing is unnatural to the universe.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05270. A Bit Of Space reviewsNo Timmy, Gods don't grow on trees.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-20-05 - Published: 3-20-05271. Oblivious Too reviewsShhh, its really two candles I'm holding together, not one candle burning at both ends.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 52 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-9-05 - Published: 3-9-05272. Weirdo reviewsKeep talking, I'm sharpening my sword.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 3-9-05 - Published: 3-9-05273. Unfinished Dreamer reviewsIt's hard enough without thou bitching in mine ear.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-9-05 - Published: 3-9-05274. Fractured Security reviewsIt sucks to be a tall man in a short house.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-9-05 - Published: 3-9-05275. Signs Of The Sun reviewsIf Jesus could really do what they say he could, then he would be a "Mutant", and not the "Son of God", as previously assumed.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-2-05 - Published: 3-2-05276. Just Burn reviewsI asked to be taken seriously, but nobody was listening.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 59 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-2-05 - Published: 3-2-05277. The Shameless reviewsI tripped and fell off the beaten path into the quagmire of disillusionment.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-2-05 - Published: 3-2-05278. Happy Grass Stained Feet reviewsNature must have been thinking of me when it created breasts...I wish I had a pairGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-2-05 - Published: 3-2-05279. Silent Companion reviewsWhy am I so sweet? I was fed sunshine and sugar till the age of fifteen.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05280. Tell No One Why reviewsI would eat my left nut if Drew Barrymoore asked me to.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05281. Da Vinci Is Dust reviewsIf all the beings of the planet got together in a big group and ran in the same direction, I wonder if the earth would spin faster. That or stop...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 50 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05282. For Wrath Of Cthulu reviewsIt's like when your writing your name in the snow and you pee on your shoe's and you think, ' I should go inside before my toes freeze, but come on man, who really likes peaches anyways?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 55 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05283. Fairies Revenge reviewsHow much must you offend yourself before you can't even masterbate?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05284. Ashen Goals reviewsI wish we used marshmallows for pillows, then it would be ok when I ate it...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05285. For Solidarity reviewsSkinny people have no souls...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05286. Sing reviewsYour entitled to your opinion, but please have it silently in the corner from now.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05287. Passionate Moments reviewsWake me up before the end.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-19-05 - Published: 2-19-05288. Pound By Pound reviewsI hate the sound of a fat man crying...you fat, fat, crying man!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 52 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-9-05 - Published: 2-9-05289. Silent Multiverse reviews'The fairies did it' is no longer a viable excuse.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-9-05 - Published: 2-9-05290. Concrete Icons reviewsMy mind is always twelve steps ahead of my feet.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-9-05 - Published: 2-9-05291. A Pound of Pebbles reviewsDo you want to touch my pebbles?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 50 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-5-05 - Published: 2-5-05292. So Long Mary reviewsAmericans gibber on in their odd little quasi-language like they know what they are saying...silly Americans.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 2-5-05 - Published: 2-5-05293. Valankar Can reviewsI fell through a crack in the Earth and wound up on the dark side of the moon, it's cold here and there's no microwave...General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 2-5-05 - Published: 2-5-05294. Grandpa and Georg reviewsI wish the world changed colors like a gobstopper as we sucked away at it.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-5-05 - Published: 2-5-05295. This Torpid Dream reviewsI play hide and seek with shadows.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-5-05 - Published: 2-5-05296. Bedtime Prayer reviewsI hate peas, and anyone who likes them, and anything even remotely hinting at the flavor of a pea. Damn all you pea lovers to the nine hells.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 1-27-05 - Published: 1-27-05297. I Too reviewsJellyBellies are uncannily similar to their individual namesakes.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05298. Peabody Smalls reviewsIf my characters came to life they would beat my ass for going to such imaginitive extremes.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05299. Ode To Me reviewsYes , I actually talk this way...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05300. Should I reviewsYour all in trouble when my stinger grows back...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05301. Gather Round reviewsIf I stood on a cliff, in front of the moon, playing an electric guitar as my hair blew in the wind. Then I would be cool!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05302. Believe Me reviewsI sail the seas in a ship made of Popsicle sticks and glue.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05303. Little Joys reviewsMy demon is laughing RUN!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05304. This Little Ball Of Life reviewsFall to your knees and debase yourself before the mighty...or not.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05305. The Key reviewsI am a spork Shaman.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-24-05 - Published: 1-24-05306. Burning reviewsI cringe before a different kind of god.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05307. I Am reviewsI was led astray by the television, but found my way back via the radio...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05308. If reviewsIf god was a strawberry I would eat him, cause man that would be one fine strawberry.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05309. Why reviewsI tried to summon the spirit of Nostradamus to answer all my questions, but only got the spirit of Pooh. I learned little about life but much about honey.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05310. Scars reviewsI'm afraid I took a turn for the worse and died in my sleep tomorrow.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05311. For Diddlyshit reviewsDon't ask, it's a safe bet that I don't know what I'm thinking.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05312. Buttermilk Sunshine reviewsGobstoppers are the fruit of a candy god. mmmmm Gobstoppers.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-15-05 - Published: 1-15-05313. Strawberry Daydreams reviewsI like to bath in strawberry jello.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 45 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05314. For Two By Two reviewsI hope I reincarnate as a tiger, cause man tigers are cool.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05315. I Will Be Free reviewsI ate a worm once, but not on purpose.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05316. A Whisper In The Wind reviewsI wonder what I would smell like if boiled in oil?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05317. Not Today reviewsI think the heads of all religions should fight it out in a cage match to the death, then we would know once and for all who's god was stronger. Oh and also cause it would be just about the funniest thing I ever saw. lol...old men fighting, hehe.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05318. Calluses reviewsThe Easter bunny and I are not on speaking terms anymore. Not since the rubber ball incident.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05319. Faults reviewsNote to self, fat people are not always jolly...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05320. Gathering Darkness reviewsI followed the light in the darkness, but it was only a giant angler fish that ate me.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05321. Secrets reviewsI mailed myself an anonymous Christmas card, just to keep me guessing.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05322. For Elves Stole My Baby reviewsI absorbed my inner child while trying to fast.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05323. Lost reviewsHow many people with ADD does it take to change a...look, a flower!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05324. Mad Landscape reviewsMy body keeps telling me I'm dead...but I just ignore it.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05325. Blind reviewsSanta drinks the blood of sinners.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05326. Truth Is Not Paid For reviewsMy skeleton keeps trying to escape it's meat prison.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05327. For Jimmy The Hamster reviewsThe cats ate the mailman...I warned him to knock!General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05328. Good and Evil reviewsI made a mockery of time. It's retribution is slow but painful.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05329. Fire It Up reviewsBums taste like old shoes.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-8-05 - Published: 1-8-05330. Ashes in the Void reviewsI’ve been trying to stop eating unicorn meat for years…but I just can’t.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-31-04 - Published: 12-31-04331. Yin and Yang reviewsCreationism is the root of all evil!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-31-04 - Published: 12-31-04332. Dreams of Rain reviewsA man on T.V. said that if you hit a midget on the head you get 40 gold coins...It's not true, It's not true at all. :(General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-31-04 - Published: 12-31-04333. To Swim With The Fishes reviewsMy garden gnome keeps killing my neighbors...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-28-04 - Published: 12-28-04334. Sword Dance reviewsI dance in puddles...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-28-04 - Published: 12-28-04335. For Three If By Air reviewsI use weighted dice... :)Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-28-04 - Published: 12-28-04336. The Seeker reviewsOne hundred posts yeah for me!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-28-04 - Published: 12-28-04337. Personality and Bone reviewsDid you see which way I went?Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-20-04 - Published: 12-20-04338. The Shoe Rebellion reviewsBeauty is whatever makes you smile!Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-20-04 - Published: 12-20-04339. Remember Me reviewsYou found me in a black void, and left me in a whirlwind of transient nothingness.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-20-04 - Published: 12-20-04340. Little Brothers reviewsWill you still love me when the sky glows red with my rage?Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-20-04 - Published: 12-20-04341. Jacob's Rage reviewsHow similar we are to monkey's, some of us more then other's...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04342. Sword Song reviews98% Water, 0.5% Meat and Drugs, 1.5% Sugar, = ME.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04343. For Ratbastard reviewsAssassins came and knifed my pillow again, thank god I sleep in the closet... opps.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 52 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04344. For Foolhardy reviewsDragons will sing of my death, then toast my corpse with mushrooms.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04345. Cerulean reviewsI painted God once but lost the picture.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04346. Space Men Cometh reviewsI burnt my social security card in hopes that I would cease to exist.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-15-04 - Published: 12-15-04347. How Unlike the Whippoorwill reviewsI'm lost on the road to nowhere...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-04348. The Wanderer reviewsA village learns that people are not always what they appear to be.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,946 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-04349. One Cold Morning reviewsStrawberries make me smile. :)Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-04350. Envy the Ignorant reviewsFloating away on bubbles of joy and nitrous.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-04351. Cracks in my Cortex reviewsI bleed syrup...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-13-04 - Published: 12-13-04352. Dejected reviewsTime is a river I like to pee in...Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-12-04 - Published: 12-12-04353. Broken Morning reviewsLong live the Anonymous!General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-12-04 - Published: 12-12-04354. Silence reviewsI wish I had plush ears so I could hear what the stuffed animals were saying.Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-11-04 - Published: 12-11-04355. Notes From the Colony reviewsI ate a pixie once. I only got sparkly poo though, not at all the outcome I had hoped for.Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 45 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04356. Atheists Christmas reviewsJesus ate my liver, then replaced it with holy light. Unfortunately this does not process waste well...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04357. Terza Rima reviewsI die in my dreams...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04358. For Scoobydoodoo reviewsI stepped in poo this morning and almost wrote about it. But I decided instead that the incident was dead to me and had never actually happened. Do you smell something?General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04359. Mountains of Mystery reviewsI ate my stash this morning...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04360. Spirit Hawk reviewsHello? Where the hell am I...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04361. My Sweet Drool Machine reviewsI am so many people I have forgotten all their names.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04362. Dark Path reviewsI pee sunshine!General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04363. Bad Choice reviewsThe whiskey and bandages did little for my shredded soul.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04364. For Cantebury Jane reviewsMy soul is eroding like the rocks on which I trod.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04365. Wicked Winds reviewsI am a slave to the masses.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04366. Hidden in Fantasy reviewsTime is my enemy.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-10-04 - Published: 12-10-04367. Visions of Past reviewsWhy won't you let me put spaces in my villanelles, bastard program...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-5-04 - Published: 12-5-04368. Inevitable reviewsDeath doesn't bother me, its living that puts a bunch in my shorts.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-5-04 - Published: 12-5-04369. Inverted Vertigo reviewsMy head hurts when I imagine infinity.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-4-04 - Published: 12-4-04370. One More Day reviewsA condemned General contemplates the circumstances that brought him to his present state.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 822 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-04371. Breathe reviewsI was God once but quit when I grew tired of your endless plight.Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-04372. Tomato reviewsPasley pirates pilfer pointedly while painfully pontificating.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-04373. Eyes reviewsDizzy dragons dive daringly down during the daytime.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-04374. Confiscated Sausage reviewsMan, I crack my shit up!Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-3-04 - Published: 12-3-04375. The Last Bastion reviewsAll that stands between the last fortress of humanity and its destruction at the hands of demonic forces is a brave king and his men.Fable - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,611 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 11-27-04 - Published: 11-27-04376. Screaming Towards Oblivion reviewsHuman meat tastes like pork... :)Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-24-04 - Published: 11-24-04377. The Cabin Boy's Lament reviewsThey should invent a candy that screams when you bite it. and bleeds nougat.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 247 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-23-04 - Published: 11-23-04378. Solipsist's Funeral reviewsHow many Solipsist's does it take to change a light bulb...whom shall I say is asking?Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-22-04 - Published: 11-22-04379. Trapped in Unreal reviewsI am a loadstone for weirdos.Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-21-04 - Published: 11-21-04380. Song of the Godless reviewsI'd be tyrant if I wasn't so lazy...Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-20-04 - Published: 11-20-04381. Diamante Palindrome reviewsYa get it huh, huh... :)Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-20-04 - Published: 11-20-04382. Chaos of Dreams reviewsGod ate my homework...Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-14-04 - Published: 11-14-04383. Villanelle Style reviewsThe demons pantsed me in the grocery line...again,General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-14-04 - Published: 11-14-04384. Contaminated Harvest reviewsMy apple is bleeding...Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-10-04 - Published: 11-10-04385. Killing the Paperboy reviewsFor Davin.Long live the fighters. I often fight with myself, but its always a draw...Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04386. Darkest of Days reviews50 yeah for me...I once put 50 pieces of gum in my mouth on a dare, it was hard to chew. I also found it hard to chew when I was dead.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 53 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04387. Diamante Style X2 reviewsI really like sweets, especially the kind with peanut butter, I like the way it feels when I eat it, I'm not snobbish I eat both smooth and chunky. Did you know peanuts grow underground? I always thought they grew on trees...General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04388. English Sonnet reviewsIf you know of other styles you think I might like Lady Jane, just let me know, and anyone else for that matter.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04389. Spenserian Sonnet reviewsGod ate my shoe...General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04390. Cinquain Style reviewsThese will probably get left justified, like the Palindrome and Diamante styles did. So just imagine it centered lol.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04391. Acrostic Style reviewsOk I added rhyming but I was bored...Deal :)General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-6-04 - Published: 11-6-04392. Pantoum Style reviewsI ate my shirt today...General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04393. Palindrome reviewsblah blah blahGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04394. Monorhyme Style reviewsAnd anotherGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04395. Diamante Style reviewsYet another styleGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04396. Clerihew Style reviewsIGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04397. Limerick reviewslolGeneral - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04398. Epitaphs reviewsPlaying with diffrent styles today.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04399. Wandered Away reviewsCould happen.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-5-04 - Published: 11-5-04400. To Be King reviewsThis fell out my head this morning enjoy!Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-4-04 - Published: 11-4-04401. Captive of Fear reviewsA little truth.Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-2-04 - Published: 11-2-04402. Nothing reviews...Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-1-04 - Published: 11-1-04403. Killing my Dealer reviewsJust so you know, motsugori is poisonous blow fish.Humor - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-1-04 - Published: 11-1-04404. The Gray Man reviewsThoughts about balanceLife - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-1-04 - Published: 11-1-04405. Visions of You reviewsOne for my ladie.Love - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-1-04 - Published: 11-1-04406. Finding Balance reviewsA trip into my world.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-31-04 - Published: 10-31-04407. Epiphany reviewsHave I seen the light?Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-31-04 - Published: 10-31-04408. For Fortress of Steve reviewsToilet MaterialHumor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 42 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-31-04 - Published: 10-31-04409. Berserk reviewsFor my favorite Anime.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-30-04 - Published: 10-30-04410. For Sisterdarkness reviewsYeah I love me too.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-30-04 - Published: 10-30-04411. The Smell of Reality reviewsHow's it smell?Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-30-04 - Published: 10-30-04412. For Jolly Roger reviewsArr.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-30-04 - Published: 10-30-04413. For my Fans reviewsGod I love you guys.Family - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-27-04 - Published: 10-27-04414. Penn and Teller reviewsI wish I could have been in Dresden.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-27-04 - Published: 10-27-04415. Slamming the Theist reviewsIn loving Memory of Jesus 0-33 ADLife - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-27-04 - Published: 10-27-04416. Dragon's Repast reviewsWould you find it worth it.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-26-04 - Published: 10-26-04417. Fairy Dilemma reviewsFirst aliens now fairies...Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-26-04 - Published: 10-26-04418. Vulcan's Lament reviewsNature is a harsh mistress.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-25-04 - Published: 10-25-04419. Aliens reviewsAliens broke my bong.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 261 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-24-04 - Published: 10-24-04420. Drifting reviewsguessLife - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-04 - Published: 10-23-04421. Soldier's Death reviewsNo freebies read it.War - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-23-04 - Published: 10-23-04422. Darkest of Friends reviewsWatchingLife - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-15-04 - Published: 10-15-04423. Drowning reviewsDrowningLife - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-15-04 - Published: 10-15-04424. Am I Awake reviewsThe lonliness of existence examined.Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-15-04 - Published: 10-15-04425. Body of Sin reviewsMy dark thought for the day. Enjoy.General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-1-04 - Published: 10-1-04426. Fredrick the Great reviewsA little insight.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-29-04 - Published: 9-29-04427. Feral reviewsBeware my wrath.War - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-28-04 - Published: 9-28-04428. Existence is Futile reviewsYou know!Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-26-04 - Published: 9-26-04429. For Fiddlesticks reviewsFor my favorite reviewer. You rock, man.Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-24-04 - Published: 9-24-04430. Mind Killer reviewsSome think my mind is already dead.Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-22-04 - Published: 9-22-04431. I Who Am I reviewsWritten in 8th grade or so. Just an experiment in amusing myself! :)Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-17-04 - Published: 9-17-04432. Descent reviewsAre the experiences of living worth the death waiting for you at the end? You be the judge.Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-17-04 - Published: 9-17-04433. Lost Moments reviewsA man contemplates the meaning of death while floating alone in space.Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-15-04 - Published: 9-15-04
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