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Author has written 56 stories for Romance, General, General, Play, Biography, Humor, Haiku, Horror, Life, and Love. (Taboo'd? Used to be. I've grown out of that.) I'm a university student! yo! And have a G2 and a job. I'm 19! omg! And very sleep deprived. I like Disney, watching Boondocks, and listening to BritPod. I also like eating shrimp and goggling (Google imaging) older, not-usually-attractive-to-girls-my-age men. Just for good measure. Procrastination? I was born that way. And potential? I might have. Take that as you will. I'm a champion. I can do Iron Man impressions, too. When life hands me lemons? I trade in that shit for cold pizza rolls. I have the ability to lie through not only my teeth but my naughty holes, too. I drum paragraphs into phones. Once John Malkovich became strangely attractive to me, I realized I had hit rock bottom. I can't look at spatulas the same (they stir more than batter for me, if you catch my drift). I have a pussy (and not the one that purrs). Music rolls over my body and into my soul. I'd toss dwarves for a good CD. Walks in the middle of the night through places I don't even know make me feel confident in ways I couldn't explain. I like having a G2. Jukebox tales along the pavement of mediocre lies are what I spin. I choose to not match to match my personality. Clocks turn me on like no other sex toy could. Coitos makes the world go 'round (guess my world hasn't revolved yet). I own a pair of shoes that are pink, purple, white and weird. I drink Hershey's chocolate milk at 3 in the morning. I hung a Beatles poster from Value Village on a U of G easel I stole. I pull words into sentences that form holes into other dimensions. I like to think I do, anyway. I laugh so much I got abs (that have been hibernating for 19 years so far). I can get naked sometimes (other times I'm clothed). I dream of Denzel Washington and coverless books. I could be a stripper. I fall head over knees for people with accented speech. I want prune juice. Ghost sex is my favourite word. Coming out (of the closet)—E-motion (a one shot); Waking Up To A Surprise (a one shot); Dear Brother (a one shot); Starving Eddie (a potential story— (It could happen. I hate guarantees.) Recommended read (of the now)—Dead Decoy: The Artz of War. The History Channel could learn a thing or two from this story. Take war, its political and societal standings and spin it into a parody that punches you straight in the throat. I guffaw. Somehow, references to Japanese schoolgirls and JIHAD JEEPS! make complete sense in this story. Sure, some people die; and sure, some weapons are used. But most importantly? It's ridiculous! It's highly unlikely! It always leaves me with this question: Would you fight in a war, knowing the deadliest weapon was the retards you were working with? (You should read it. You won't regret it.) Shuffled song (of the time)—The Spill Canvas' Self-Conclusion (My stomach floats with this on and I want someone to call me precious)— (But that's why I love my iPod. And illegally downloading. (Sometimes buying CDs too.) On hiatus (dear lard, I miss writing - it hurts when I force). | |||||||||||
1. Midas WantsI have a silver husband.Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-29-09 - Published: 7-29-092. Body Countless reviewsThe plane of your thigh shatters in simultaneous whistles of glass.Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-10-09 - Published: 5-10-093. Soft SexVinyls spun on love.Complete - Love - Fiction Rated: M - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 365 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-10-09 - Published: 5-10-094. Blush Burned & reviewsHeart Fixed.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-13-07 - Published: 3-13-075. It’s Just Like Him reviewsSLASH He must have been a pedophile in a past life.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 435 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3-13-07 - Published: 3-13-076. Papa's Got A Brand New Bag » reviewsSLASH By the time dad started to raid the closet, I was being pushed out of it.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,345 - Reviews: 92 - Updated: 1-6-07 - Published: 8-12-067. Disengage reviewsSLASH The rules of a gay man’s engagement and the one man who dared to break them.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-1-06 - Published: 12-1-068. Desperate For Companionshit » reviewsSLASH o a collection o What’s a man to do? I'm sure you'll find someone you like.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,584 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 11-21-06 - Published: 9-26-069. The Gay Man's Kid Brother » reviewsSLASH When it comes down to it, being the younger brother of the most popular gay man in the high school isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s kind of a funny story.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,149 - Reviews: 62 - Updated: 11-19-06 - Published: 4-11-0610. Hybrid Satyromaniacs » reviewsSLASH Debut album. Every awkward silence a gay baby's born. Parental advisory explicit content.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,691 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-18-06 - Published: 8-22-0511. Everything's Great When They're Half DeadBut you can still relate on a human pedestal.Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 778 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-24-06 - Published: 10-24-0612. For Today I Am A Boy reviewsSLASHundertone o one shot o One day I’ll grow up. But for today I am a child.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,364 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-23-06 - Published: 10-23-0613. Love Ya But Please Shut Up » reviewsSLASH They think he's crazy. Paris knows he's not. He does the next best thing to shutting up. From there everything falls into place and he meets a man who may just be what he's looking for. Duct tape... or a believer? Whatever works for him.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,767 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 9-16-06 - Published: 8-26-0514. Boneskin Tight reviewsIt kills me to say.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0615. Safety Twitch reviewsBullet tonguetied.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0616. TrainstrippingDisguised as a haiku.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0617. Your Bill Of Right Is Wrong On A SkilletIdealists can lie, too.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0618. I Can't Leave You For A SecondHonestly.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0619. A Monkeywrench Twice Removed reviewsI hate when you do.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0620. I'm Hanging You Out To Moisten reviewsI left you out to moisten.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0621. Texas Chainsaw MascaraJudgement never tasted so good.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0622. Someone Came Home With A VengeanceLick, lick as in sticky and slimy? Or lick, lick as in what your dad does to you every night? Answer to your own discretion.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0623. With Grandma's Walking Cane Upside The HeadGrandma's. So warm... but a bit moldy.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-1-06 - Published: 9-1-0624. Dinner For Two reviewsalmostSLASH For here or to go?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-12-06 - Published: 8-12-0625. For Your Entertainment A Self Serving Pile Of Me reviewsSLASH Will you take me to the hospital if you burst me? If you split me? If you rupture me?Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-12-06 - Published: 8-12-0626. I Feel A Sin Coming On reviewsSLASH I could always drill a hole in your head and pour soda pop in it.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 712 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-12-06 - Published: 8-12-0627. There was a boy » reviewsSLASH Part I. Whoever said high school would be easy? Four guys meet and become friends. But it isn't as simple as that, some people just weren't meant to mix... things happen, lips meet and worlds collide. Didn't think it'd end up like this. Complete.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 108,032 - Reviews: 143 - Updated: 6-19-06 - Published: 1-25-0528. Session Notes reviewsSLASH Subject thinks I'm an idiot.Horror - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,605 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-12-06 - Published: 5-12-0629. Public Displays Of Affection » reviewsSLASH Imagine getting tackled, stabbed, molested and asked out on a date in one day. Yeah. I didn't think you could. Doesn't help that a damn punk won't get out of my head. It's always the neurotic guys who like to touch me the most... pity me.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 51,079 - Reviews: 242 - Updated: 5-5-06 - Published: 6-27-0530. The Depp Factor » reviewsDEPPSEXUALITY A Johnny Depp collection of haikus: his myriad of characters.Haiku - Fiction Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 4-15-06 - Published: 4-15-0631. Whipped Cream And Gasoline Told You So reviewsI inhaled erotic. I exhaled the weed.Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-14-06 - Published: 4-14-0632. Mystery at its finest reviewsMister E, I presume.Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-14-06 - Published: 4-14-0633. Coagulated Spider CuffAnd come I did.Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-14-06 - Published: 4-14-0634. Spilled Pills: A MemoirSLASH Holding me down with a morphine induced happily ever after.Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-14-06 - Published: 4-14-0635. Shit List » reviewsSLASH If you’re on this list, too bad for you and like I say: ‘bite the bunny’s head off before the bunny bites you.’ Shit happens.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,433 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 3-28-06 - Published: 3-21-0636. L u c i d D e l i r i u m Of An A sp i ra t io n reviewsSLASH o one shot o He isn't crazy. He just likes people to think he is.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,903 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-1-06 - Published: 3-1-0637. Winnie Mandela: A Not so ordinary womanTake me down as you please, but I'm still there.Complete - Biography - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 353 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-5-06 - Published: 2-5-0638. Scene One: The Curtain CallThe show must go on.Complete - Play - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 878 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-5-06 - Published: 2-5-0639. Scene Three: Aborting His HeartUndergoing heart surgery with an abortionist's hand.Complete - Play - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-5-06 - Published: 2-5-0640. F r a n t i c Romantic reviewsSLASH o one shot o When it comes down to it, you know writergod has you whipped. But Kenny? He knows exactly what to do to get you moving. In more ways than one. With the help of writergod, of course.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,283 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-29-06 - Published: 1-29-0641. L u c i d D r e a m s O f A n A s p i r a t i o n reviewsSLASH o one shot o He was always a little dirty.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,078 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-30-05 - Published: 12-30-0542. Emo Was Never Your Colour reviewsSLASH Getting a little ahead of myself Aren't I? But you see Goth seems to be next in lineComplete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 512 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-17-05 - Published: 10-17-0543. Resting In Peace Is Overrated reviewsSLASH He kissed me with one foot in the grave. I'd say he kissed me breathless.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 346 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-12-05 - Published: 10-12-0544. Plowing The Dirt Between Your Knees reviewsSLASH You were always just stubble on my lawn.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-1-05 - Published: 10-1-0545. Teenage Moving Truck Angst reviewsTake me away already. Take me to that place where all the angsting teenagers go.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-1-05 - Published: 10-1-0546. FRIENEMIES: Confessions of a Boy Gang » reviewsSLASH The time is the late 1990s. The place is a down and dirty city in the middle of nowhere, where five high school boys are joined in a gang dedicated to power, pride, and freedom.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-23-05 - Published: 9-22-0547. Omake IV: Cosmopolitan Baby reviewsSLASH o Public Displays Of Affection companion o His life was on the rocks, who would've known it would end up being rum instead?Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-21-05 - Published: 8-21-0548. Omake III: A One Boy Army For Two reviewsSLASH o Public Displays Of Affection companion o It started off innocently enough but grew into something more.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,454 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-16-05 - Published: 8-16-0549. Daddy Eff 'ed Me And I Loved It » reviewsSLASH Some dads took their sons to baseball games. Mine took me to bed.General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,917 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-16-05 - Published: 8-15-0550. Omake II: Bruised Beginnings reviewso Public Displays Of Affection companion o He knew he'd never like him from the beginning and that's when the fists came flying.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-6-05 - Published: 8-6-0551. Omake I: In The Making reviewso Public Displays Of Affection companion o He was known as Iceman, voted most likely to remain a virgin all his life.They couldn't have been more wrong.Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,498 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-6-05 - Published: 8-6-0552. A Dirty Sea is The Pirate Life for Me » reviewsSLASH Best thing about being on the sea? Nobody can see you swin naked with the men. Best thing about meandering about with pirates? You get alone time with the mysterious, handsome ones. Now. If only Kiley knew that.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,968 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 7-11-05 - Published: 6-10-0553. Smoking when Pregnant » reviewsSLASH A boy, a teen and a man. Just where are they going with this? Only life and time can tell... and a few unexpected temptations along the way. Flirting was never their niche.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,910 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 6-30-05 - Published: 5-23-0554. Intergalactic Lightsaber Chewie Love reviewsSLASH o one shot o I loved him and I loved Star Wars. Lightsabers were meant to touch as were ours, in my gay, Star Wars galvanized subconscious being. I still love him and I still love Star Wars.Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,329 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-20-05 - Published: 6-20-0555. Somewhere Down the Crazy River » reviewsSLASH All right. So taking a dip in the river wasn't the smartest thing he had ever done. But did he really need to be accosted by a strange man, too? That was just cruel.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,540 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-14-05 - Published: 4-25-0556. Harry Cherry » reviewsSLASH Tastes so good you'll walk away a gay person.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,906 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 6-8-05 - Published: 2-21-05
Canada