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| McQuinn |
Author has written 8 stories for General, Romance, and Haiku. Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you've got an audience. —Diogenes the Cynic I write to entertain. Although I'd like readers to find some kind of personal connection to my stories, poems and characters, it is first the reader's duty to enjoy, laugh, snicker, boo, and on rare occasions cry while reading. So you are forewarned—in order to tolerate my stories, you must put up with being forced to emote. But in order to actually like my stories, you must put up with a few characters' bouts of insanity. And a shimmy or two, of course. You do not want to fuck with me. If you steal any of my shit, my virtual foot will ram so far up your virtual ass, you'll be reduced to a sobbing, blubbering fool when I get done with you. I have the legal will and the legal way to sue your pathetic virtual ass. All the works I've posted here are written by me, McQuinn, and are not to be copied, distributed and/or sold for any purpose whatever. If I catch you, I will have my way with you. So, again, I repeat: you do not want to fuck with me. I'll be watching...FPWatchers. Oh. Yeah. And I can't stand dumbasses. Don't read my shit if you're one of those. Stories that have mentally unstable characters who love to verbally spar with each other are of the awesome. There's not enough transgressive fiction on this site. That royally sucks butt. I don't go to high school or undergraduate school. That's why I don't update often. In recent news... 08/13/09--Three-shot 1 800 SEX ME UP has been posted for your reading pleasure. 07/22/09--The Raccoon Wars was nominated in the "Most Memorable Story" (Incomplete) category over at SKoW. It's an honor. Speaking of RW, if you're wondering whether I've abandoned the story, the answer would be an emphatic, "Fuck no." I'm writing up the next chapter as we speak. Stay tuned, tunas. Older news... I have a Twitter account. If you'd like to keep updated or keep in touch, that would be the best way to do it. However, please introduce yourself to me before you start "following" me. I'll block you if you don't. The Raccoon Wars has won Judge's Pick in the "Best Awkward Moment" (most embarrassing moment) category at the Some Kind of Wonderful Awards (Round Six). It has also won Judge's Pick in the "Best Supporting Character" (Brendon) category for Round Seven. It's an honor! Link: Some Kind of Wonderful Awards READ The Tough and Dirty Newsletter NOW! (And, of course, subscribe.) | |||||||||||
1. 1 800 SEX ME UP reviewsAudrey’s unconventional relationship with her bully, Eli Vitelli, began the first time she dialed 1 800 SEX ME UP. What happens when Audrey hides her identity and asks the sexually practiced Vitelli to teach her all there is to know about sex?Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,654 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 8-12-09 - Published: 8-12-092. Eternal Boy Syndrome reviewsPete visits Dr. Hook weekly to discuss his issues with growing up, and Wendy's the bitchy sociopath who holds the solution to all of Pete's problems..."We're going to kill Hook, Pete. We'll watch him cry, beg. We'll cut his throat...then we'll laugh."Romance - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 3-1-09 - Published: 3-1-093. The Raccoon Wars » reviewsShe’s your "normal" teenager and he’s the school’s new psychotic jackass. They both live to kill and kill to live...kind of. But you know it’s love when it’s midnight and they’re together, mixing a cyanide solution by candlelight.Romance - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,735 - Reviews: 377 - Updated: 2-3-09 - Published: 8-28-064. See You Later, Hater reviewsHe moves away, and she starts wearing only black. They insult to stop the hurt, but it only causes hate. So what do you have to look forward to when your future is thousands of miles away, talking to you on a cell phone? [One Shot]Complete - General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 9-30-07 - Published: 9-30-075. Devoid and Devotion » reviewsAll Tag wanted was to NOT be normal. But then she died and woke up 400 years later to a world completely devoid of love, and normal became something she needed - especially if it meant getting away from London, a man she would never let herself fall for.Romance - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,806 - Reviews: 96 - Updated: 7-7-07 - Published: 7-31-056. An Admission of Naivete reviewsWe must wake up and smell the coffee at some point in time, right?Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 9-11-06 - Published: 9-11-067. A Word of Advice reviewsSome things need to be put into perspective...Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 10-22-05 - Published: 10-22-058. Mere Memories reviewsA girl and boy grow up placidly on a bridge, until their feelings are put into words and pictures. Their world is then no longer placid, but a disaster of memories, bound to dissipate and be forgotten. [One Shot]Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,629 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 5-17-05 - Published: 5-17-05
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