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since: 08-11-05, id: 489940
web: Homepage
Author has written 13 stories for Essay, Humor, General, and General.

name: Tomi Ueda

other professions you would like to attempt: taste tester for the show, Iron Chef

what gets you inspired: last-minute desperation

tools of the trade: Google, Wikipedia, friends, and freshman

first gig: tenor saxophonist for a jazz band

newspaper you read first: The Onion. awesome stuff.

role model: Mitch Hedburg, Mark Ganek, Stan Getz, and Ultraman

what we'd never guess about you: i take pleasure in messing with my friends' minds! muahaha!

smartest thing you've ever done: it'll come soon...i can feel it.

last book you read: Lord of the Flies by William Golding and The Importance of Being Ernest by Oscar Wilde

dream vacation spot: Tahiti


bio:

I am a student still studying the language of English. In fact, I am still studying English and it is now 3:04 AM.

I have learned that I am not very funny, but would like to become better with more reading and practice in writing.

FictionPress has an awesome community of writers, welcoming everyone from beginners to experts of the English language.

I hope it is not too much to ask for but, I ask for some sympathy from the esoteric crowd of talented

writers here at FictionPress, or, possibly, a paying job. I know that in a community of such a diverse group of writers, there are going to be flamers. If it is constructive, that is tolerable. But please don't flame with nonsensical insultations that don't convey a logical, thougtful point in your arguement. It's a waste of your time and waste of my time to read.

comments? constructive criticism? maybe some free food?

email me at workistorture@yahoo.com

aim: workistorture

Thank you to one and all who have commented, critisized, or gave me free food.

I love you all...in a platonic sort of way.


Stories Authored: (13) . Favorite Authors: (0) . Favorite Stories: (0) . C2 Communities (0) .


1. The Handbook of Foodhism » reviews
This is the official handbook of Foodhism. Written by the Great Prophet.
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-8-05 - Published: 12-8-05
2. Eye reviews
Wicked and sinister...this poem speaks.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-5-05 - Published: 12-5-05
3. HUMOR: A Homework Carol reviews
Procrastination kicks in...then I meet three ghosts. I must be on some drug or something
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-25-05 - Published: 9-25-05
4. HUMOR: A Natural Talent reviews
I have this uncanny talent for saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 738 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 9-22-05 - Published: 9-22-05
5. HUMOR: Green Is Awesome reviews
Green. It is obviously the best color existent, no?
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 490 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-14-05 - Published: 9-14-05
6. Deus Ex: And This Time It's Not a Video Game reviews
An explanation of the usage and definition of a deus ex machina through the novel Lord of the Flies by William Golding.
Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-12-05 - Published: 9-12-05
7. HUMOR: A Day of Herman Melvilleness reviews
A tribute to Herman Melville's style about a teenager named Zack Taylor. (For those who don't know, Herman Melville was the author of the novel, Moby Dick.)
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-9-05 - Published: 9-9-05
8. HUMOR: Everytime's a Good Time to Go Shopping reviews
Do you want to know what's the latest craze in America? It's oniomania - and it's coming to get you, too!
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-1-05 - Published: 9-1-05
9. HUMOR: Religion is My Homeboy reviews
Religion is a hard subject to touch on...especially if humor is involved.
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 8-18-05 - Published: 8-18-05
10. HUMOR: Love is Choice A reviews
Love is a lot more than fun and games...and more serious at that...
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-15-05 - Published: 8-15-05
11. HUMOR: English Just Blew Up My Brain reviews
English is so universal...but soo SCREWED up!
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 712 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 8-15-05 - Published: 8-15-05
12. HUMOR: Tennis Ain't Funny reviews
Tennis at the Mercedes Benz Cup was a little more than just a little game of 40-Love
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-15-05 - Published: 8-15-05
13. HUMOR: Hillside School is for Winners reviews
The school of Hillside worries parents into deep traumatization. What could cause this madness!
Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 654 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-15-05 - Published: 8-15-05
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