Why the name "SapphireIris?"
-Simple. My irises are a lovely shade of sapphire. I mean my eyes, though, since I don't grow the flowers. Though, they would be lovely...

What do you write?
-I don't really stick to one specific genre, but my favorite is moderate horror. I like to be sporadic about things, so short stories are much easier than a long novel. I tried writing fantasy once, and I think it sucked.

What do you read?
-Anything. Really, give me a book and I'll read it. I might give up on it if it totally sucks (coughcougheldestcoughcough), but I'll at least try to read it. (I follow the Halfway rule, which means that I'll read halfway through a book, and if it still seems boring, then and only then will I abandon it. Unless. of course, it follows the Five Percent corollary, which states that if within the first five percent of the book you want to throw the book against the wall or vomit because of bad writing, you are fully allowed to chuck it.)

Do you leave reviews?
-I try to. I can't always, but I do try. If you've noticed that I haven't been reviewing your story, send me a PM or email and I'll get around to it.

Wait! You're on my author / story alert, but you haven't left a review!
-Gah. I share my account with another cc (who is too lazy to get her own, dangit), and she likes to wreak havoc on my email by always adding on author and story alerts. Oh, and another gripe: she refuses to edit her own poetry. (Hint, hint, miss Apple!)

If you're going to read anything, I'd say my short story collection is probably the best for that kind of thing. I'm still kinking out Hard to Breathe, and Revenge has been giving me big picture but no details. Poetry is sporadic and varied. My NaNoWriMo '07 failed, but I'll finish it eventually.

Critical, Need-to-know information:

I am not an emo, goth, etc. In fact, I am not depressed - not even sad. I don't dress in all black (I live in the desert... might be a little too hot wearing all that stuff...) I don't even wear makeup. I might seem a bit morbid or macabre sometimes, but I'm really just a happy person inside. My writing just turns out that way... like when your clothes shrink in the wash. Only there's no Woolite for the soul. :)

I.do.not.type. LiKe ThIs, o r t h i s , ORevenlikethis. If you want me to read poetry, make sure your title, summary, and (for the love of...) your actual poem do not contain such "pretty" type. Unless it's actually a part of the poem, I will not even consider it.

Emphasis, when used properly, I will accept.

Update 03-29-09

Whoa, almost a year? Eep. Well, I've got a project going that I might actually finish, here's hoping. Eight classes (I'm masochistic, I know) aren't conducive to writing, so I can really only do this every few weekends, if it just so happens that I don't have a paper due. D= Hopefully, I can finish polishing R3 when the summer rolls on by. I need a few "contented sighs..." life has been turbulent.

Update 04-26-08

The Guggenheim museum rocks harder than quartz! I especially love the Claude Monet painting... the one with the yellow buildings, the sky, clouds, ocean... forgot the name. The Miró is good, too, and I really wanted a copy of that city painting. Anyway! I've become somewhat inspired. So expect a chapter sometime in the near future. I will also revise and repost Rants, Raves, and Reviews as well as update it a little... I know it needs it.

Update 04-13-08

Not dead yet, guys. Posted two updates, getting on working on the rest of them. Myeh... life. You know what? Nobody dies a virgin. Life screws us all. (I'm not cynical! Really...)

Quotes:

"I don't believe it. I don't believe it even if I do." -Rose Madder

"Each day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." -George Carlin

"Backwards words say to used I. Again go I there. Shit oh!" -George Carlin

"We're traveled like gypsies
Only with worse luck and far less gold
We're the kids you used to love
But then we grew old
We're the lifers here till the bitter end
Condemned from the start
Ashamed of the way
The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts" -Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year, Fall Out Boy

"Laugh and the world laughs with you
Weep and you weep alone." -Wilcox

"The mountains are high and the emperor is far away." -Unknown (to me, at least)

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates

Most of what I do here isn't writing, it's reviewing. I try to make an effort to read and review at least once a day (that I can get on the internet, that is.) There's close to three million reviews on this site, and I've submitted a couple hundred of them by now. If I don't get to you now, I will eventually. Unless there are elements from:

List of things I will NOT read or review anymore
Anything with vampire romances. I'm sick of it. Unless, of course, you somehow manage to bring it out of the bog of goth, emo, and (gack) scene.
Anything where every main character has waist-length blue hair. It's cliche, and long hair is extrememly impractical. Not to mention the blue dye costs more than normal colors, and it takes several bottles to get that much hair that color. (What's sad is that I know this from experience.)
Anything dealing with a simple evil overlord plot, where a simple peasant learns something drastic that changes everything and eventually defeats the overlord. coughcougheragoncoughcough
Anything under 1000 words. There won't be much there to actually read, and reviewing it takes longer than reading the damn thing (This excludes poetry).
Anything with a Mary-Sue (or Gary-Stu).
If the description of the main character is "perfectly thin, yet strong without any muscle mass whatsoever and an enormous chest," I will simply click out of it and find another story to read. See above.
I don't do prophecies. Damn destiny screwing everything up! (For a good counterexample, see vestdan's Pieces of Eight).
if da riteing loks lik dis. oR tHiS!
Halibut that are all too flat. (Inside joke! Ka-ching!)

Basically, as long as it isn't cliche, I'll R&R 4 ya. Hey, this is just a rough sketch of things I don't like; if an element is present (but not overdone), I will probably make an exception. One of my favorite stories on the whole site actually violates six of these requirements, but only barely. So, just email or review, & I'll get on it. I don't do flames, so don't be afraid to ask for help!

Love and indoor sports,

-SapphireIris