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Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. The Calendar reviews

The first thing I've written in a very long time. Starring a young executive, an old peon worker, and a paperclip.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 5-12-05

2. How can I possibly go on? reviews

A short little thing I wrote awhile back and apparently forgot about. Good for a chuckle or two.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 1-5-05

3. Room 13B » reviews

This guy just can't catch a break. Last chap is up, take a look. Odds are, it's not gonna bite.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,300 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 10-8-04 - Published: 7-3-04

4. Reginald of the Forest reviews

Come with me and lead a free life, running naked in the woods!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 424 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 7-22-04

5. Another Average Day reviews

I am such a liberal. An average short story about an average man leading an oh so average life.

Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-25-04

6. Slight Inconvenience reviews

Frank and Louise are having a nice quiet evening at home when their house is commandeered by Nazis. A good time is had by all.

Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-15-04

7. Flight Delay » reviews

None of your business.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,628 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 6-1-04 - Published: 1-17-04

8. The Train reviews

Kinda reminds me of the sort of thing Twilight Zone does... please don't ask me for another chapter or a sequal. It's not going to happen.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5-11-04

9. Ummmm POP TARTS! » reviews

Not a story at all, but an incredible simulation, and an incredible waste of any reader's time. BUT YOU WILL READ IT ANYWAY! Or else.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,475 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 5-8-04 - Published: 8-10-03

10. Crappy Teen Movie Averted reviews

What you wish would happen in the beginning of a lot of movies, as a matter of mercy to audiences everywhere.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-27-04

11. The Worldwide Sneeze reviews

Once again, I have absolutely no clue what this is. It's short, so just read it.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-21-04

12. Grand Theft reviews

Really more of a short funny sketch than a story, but hey I'd say it's worth a read. It's short, so you can just go ahead and read it now. Okay, not joking this time, start reading. NOW

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-29-04

13. ET the Copyright Violation reviews

A very short story about a cliched alien in a cliched army base in a cliched town with a cliched main character. But I kinda like it anyway.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 826 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2-26-04

14. Shock of Blue Hair reviews

Guy meets girl, guy loses girl, world is conquered by radioactive wombats... none of those three events takes place in this story. Sorry to dissapoint you.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 910 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-14-04

15. It's Earth, should I hang up? reviews

Ever spend a lot of time thinking about our place in the universe? Well this is what happened when I did that... pray that I never do it again.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 441 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-5-04

16. The Mummy 2 Electric Boogaloo reviews

Just a stupid little pointless story. Good for a laugh I guess.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-5-04

17. What Wyoming? reviews

We lost some states. Now we gotta cover it up. Any suggestions?

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 12-31-03

18. Proof that I'm completely insane » reviews

As if you needed it.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 3,070 - Reviews: 115 - Updated: 12-30-03 - Published: 3-13-03

19. Dark Spot in the Street reviews

A humorous story of two vampires looking for prey. Author's note- believe it or not, Kjetil IS a real name.

Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-27-03

20. Death Spares Not the Ice Cream Man » reviews

Discover the secrets of life, death, and a whole bunch of random crap you never wanted to know about! If you don't read this and review it, I'll have to hunt you down and dig out your eyeballs with an ice cream scoop. And trust me, you don't want that.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,397 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 12-17-03 - Published: 11-24-03

21. Astrid reviews

I don't really know what this is. I wrote it a few months ago and never uploaded it. About a totally insane girl in a coffee bar. R&R if you want. I'm gonna go get a sandwich.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-14-03

22. Blink of an Eye reviews

If anyone understands this story, could you please explain it to me? I'm lost. my 50th story on FictionPress. Isn't that wonderful?

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,453 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-13-03

23. Death is in Room 511 reviews

A short, funny play about Death trying to get a room in a motel. Invloves random deaths, what more could you want? Also my third fic whose title begins with the word 'death'. Aren't I special?

Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 675 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 11-25-03

24. Edge reviews

A story about a man on a ledge. Literally. If you're looking for drama, spirituality, and deep philosophical thought, you are most definately in the wrong category. But read this anyway. I commandeth thee.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,028 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-21-03

25. Street Corner reviews

Short stories are good.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11-12-03

26. In the Coat Closet reviews

A guy comes home and finds something rather unexpected in his closet. Guess what it is! No, you're way off. Nope. Stop guessing! Just read it! NOW!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-8-03

27. I honestly have no idea reviews

...caffiene does very strange things at 2 am. Read it, its in SCRIPT FORMAT.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 807 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-4-03

28. Grandfatherly Advice reviews

A teenage boy is visited in the middle of the night by his dead grandparents. And they have some rather. . . interesting advice for him. R&R&D (read and review and die)

Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 541 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-3-03

29. Two Minutes to Air reviews

A short play about a very fractured talk show... R&R, I know where you live.

Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,250 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11-1-03

30. The Somewhat Abridged History of Mankind » reviews

A complete, definitive history of the coolest species on the planet, no matter what all those hippies say. I know it's been done before, but I had to take a stab at it... R&R if you feel so inclined.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-31-03 - Published: 10-30-03

31. Death » reviews

A strange short story about death. I wrote a second chapter now... I didn't think I would, but I did. So read it. Now.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,270 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 10-25-03 - Published: 5-23-03

32. Floral Rugs and Shotguns » reviews

A script for a twisted mafia movie. Funnier in Italian accents. Read the script Funky Munky called "More entertaining than an open heart surgery performed in Uzbekistan"

Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,234 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-20-03 - Published: 10-9-03

33. Insert title of story reviews

Another odd short story in my strange style of writing. I guess you could call it humor. Possibly the most anticlimactic thing I've ever written.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-7-03

34. Smelly Joe reviews

A short little pointless story about WIDESPREAD DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. Or maybe a fish... I forget.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-4-03

35. Swimming with the Fish » reviews

For the jocks and the in crowd, High School was the best years of their lives. For the rest of us, it was something more like this. I discontinued this story quite awhile ago, but I uploaded one final chapter for all you weirdos.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,944 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 9-26-03 - Published: 5-21-03

36. Lights Out reviews

A semi-short story about a small virus that almost caused an apocolypse. Nice and depressing.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9-17-03

37. Waiting for Intermission reviews

A short funny play about... stuff. Not at all what it seems, so if you dont like it at the beginning, keep reading.

Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-5-03

38. Rigor Mortis reviews

A story about two guys working in a morgue- a redo of one of my older stories. Read it. Now. Why are you still reading this summary? You should have clicked on the link by now. I mean it. GO!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,186 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 9-3-03

39. Gravy Train reviews

A song. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-3-03

40. The Chartreuse Reticulated Chipmunk » reviews

A tale of love, loss, and muffins. Mostly the last one. This is a spoof of one of those detective movies from the forties and fifties. No more to come. It's done. R&R OR ELSE.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,438 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 7-26-03 - Published: 7-7-03

41. The tragic story of Jenkins and his dog Shep reviews

If you want comedy, suspense, romance, danger, and thrills, then go read another story!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 255 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 7-21-03

42. Arguments with Shakespeare reviews

Is a blueberry muffin not a man? If you prick it, does it not sit there doing absolutely nothing?

Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 333 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 7-19-03

43. Dragon Slaying reviews

The story of Sir Edwin's dragon-slaying thats a bit different. R&R, and maybe I'll let you keep your SOUL.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 484 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 7-9-03

44. Who Controls the Sun? reviews

A strange little story about two guys just talking in the middle of the night. Many women out there are wondering how guys talk when they're alone. Besides about boobs. Here's your answer... besides the boobs.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,457 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 7-8-03

45. Why I'm Not Allowed within 500feet of Eric Estrada reviews

A very random little story about absolutely nothing. R&R, or you don't get any candy.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 6-22-03

46. Book 3: Iceland is also unimportant reviews

The final part in the Greenland trilogy. It is imperative that you read the first two books before this one.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 314 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-22-03

47. Book 2: Greenland Remains Unimportant » reviews

Book 2 in the Greenland Cycle. Please read my novel Greenland is unimportant before reading this one. The anticlimactic ending is up, so keep your eyes peeled for Book 3.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,995 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 6-18-03 - Published: 3-29-03

48. The History of the Yo Mama Insult reviews

title says it all

Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 4-30-03

49. Damn Wooden Horse reviews

An account of the Trojan War that's a bit... different. Funnier if you know a bit about "The Aenid," but it's not a necessity.

Fiction: Historical - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 4-25-03

50. This story has no point whatsoever reviews

this is one helluva wierd story. reader beware... i'm not sure why, just BEWARE!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-24-03

51. A Strange Feeling reviews

I think this is the darkest thing I've written yet.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-18-03

52. Coffee reviews

I honestly don't know what this means. Take whatever you want to from it. Read it. It's good. I think.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 4-11-03

53. The Mr Celery Man Show reviews

A talk show starring a piece of celery. It's just as insane as it sounds. R&R

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 4-5-03

54. Stu reviews

A strange little story about...uh...a guy...named Stu. I may write more, I may leave it like this. I haven't decided yet.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-4-03

55. Greenland is unimportant » reviews

You'll just have to find out, won't you? THE GRAND FINALE IS UP! Take this last chance to read it now that it's complete! If you liked this, the sequal is now up.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,821 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 3-24-03 - Published: 3-7-03

56. The future is like a baboon reviews

it's got a big red butt and it doesn't smell very good. My strange little funny story about the future. Read it, or I will unleash the Beast on you. What is the Beast? You'll find out if you read the story.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 510 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-6-03

57. Joe and the Amazing NonMagical Dreambus » reviews

The insane epic of Joe Jones and his Amazing Non-Magical Dreambus. Read it, or no enlightenment for you!

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,649 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 2-19-03 - Published: 1-23-03

58. Stranger reviews

A serious story. What? I write serious things!

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 517 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-8-03

59. Never Hit a Mayonnaise Jar with a Baseball Bat » reviews

...unless you are prepared to be soaked in mayonnaise! These are insane short stories by me, Simon Psyc. I used to upload all my insane short stories separately, but now I've started to put them all in one giant fic. Updates will be frequent, so check

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 1-16-03 - Published: 1-6-03

60. Two Minutes of Your Life You'll Never Get Back reviews

If you can make sense of this story, you need help.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 12-31-02

61. Ozzy Osborne should be blasted into space reviews

A dramatic epic of squirrels, radioactive elephants, and people named Phyllis.

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12-30-02

62. You Should Probably Not Read This Story reviews

The story of a lobster. Yes, a lobster. You got a problem with that?

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 12-23-02

63. Out of Order » reviews

A man with amnesia tries to recall his life. Of course, it ain't quite right. I am constantly uploading new chapters, so don't be dissapointed by the length.

Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,229 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-9-02 - Published: 4-30-01

64. Hyde » reviews

A rewritten version of Jekyll and Hyde in present day. It's finally finished! Please read it.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,758 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-26-02 - Published: 2-23-02

65. Life as a Toilet reviews

it sucks, don't it?

Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 32 - Published: 2-7-02

66. Billy Bear reviews

A Children's Story. Read it. What are you waiting far? C'mon! You're mean.

Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 4-10-01