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| Simon Psyc |
Author has written 66 stories for Fable, General, Humor, Sci-Fi, Historical, Song, Play, and Supernatural. Recent examinations have led the doctors to label me "Not a danger to himself or others." In case you're wondering (which I'm sure you're not *sob* nobody loves Simon) here are my stats. | |||||||||
1. The Calendar reviewsThe first thing I've written in a very long time. Starring a young executive, an old peon worker, and a paperclip.Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 5-12-05 - Published: 5-12-052. How can I possibly go on? reviewsA short little thing I wrote awhile back and apparently forgot about. Good for a chuckle or two.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 295 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 1-5-05 - Published: 1-5-053. Room 13B » reviewsThis guy just can't catch a break. Last chap is up, take a look. Odds are, it's not gonna bite.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,955 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 10-8-04 - Published: 7-3-044. Reginald of the Forest reviewsCome with me and lead a free life, running naked in the woods!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-22-04 - Published: 7-22-045. Another Average Day reviewsI am such a liberal. An average short story about an average man leading an oh so average life.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 549 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-25-04 - Published: 6-25-046. Slight Inconvenience reviewsFrank and Louise are having a nice quiet evening at home when their house is commandeered by Nazis. A good time is had by all.Play - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 624 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-15-04 - Published: 6-15-047. Flight Delay » reviewsNone of your business.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,040 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 6-1-04 - Published: 1-17-048. The Train reviewsKinda reminds me of the sort of thing Twilight Zone does... please don't ask me for another chapter or a sequal. It's not going to happen.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 5-11-04 - Published: 5-11-049. Ummmm POP TARTS! » reviewsNot a story at all, but an incredible simulation, and an incredible waste of any reader's time. BUT YOU WILL READ IT ANYWAY! Or else.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,986 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 5-8-04 - Published: 8-10-0310. Crappy Teen Movie Averted reviewsWhat you wish would happen in the beginning of a lot of movies, as a matter of mercy to audiences everywhere.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 3-27-04 - Published: 3-27-0411. The Worldwide Sneeze reviewsOnce again, I have absolutely no clue what this is. It's short, so just read it.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 220 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 3-21-04 - Published: 3-21-0412. Grand Theft reviewsReally more of a short funny sketch than a story, but hey I'd say it's worth a read. It's short, so you can just go ahead and read it now. Okay, not joking this time, start reading. NOWHumor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-29-04 - Published: 2-29-0413. ET the Copyright Violation reviewsA very short story about a cliched alien in a cliched army base in a cliched town with a cliched main character. But I kinda like it anyway.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-26-04 - Published: 2-26-0414. Shock of Blue Hair reviewsGuy meets girl, guy loses girl, world is conquered by radioactive wombats... none of those three events takes place in this story. Sorry to dissapoint you.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 737 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 1-14-04 - Published: 1-14-0415. It's Earth, should I hang up? reviewsEver spend a lot of time thinking about our place in the universe? Well this is what happened when I did that... pray that I never do it again.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 1-5-04 - Published: 1-5-0416. The Mummy 2 Electric Boogaloo reviewsJust a stupid little pointless story. Good for a laugh I guess.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 554 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 1-5-04 - Published: 1-5-0417. What Wyoming? reviewsWe lost some states. Now we gotta cover it up. Any suggestions?Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 12-31-03 - Published: 12-31-0318. Proof that I'm completely insane » reviewsAs if you needed it.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 2,869 - Reviews: 115 - Updated: 12-30-03 - Published: 3-13-0319. Dark Spot in the Street reviewsA humorous story of two vampires looking for prey. Author's note- believe it or not, Kjetil IS a real name.Supernatural - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 12-27-03 - Published: 12-27-0320. Death Spares Not the Ice Cream Man » reviewsDiscover the secrets of life, death, and a whole bunch of random crap you never wanted to know about! If you don't read this and review it, I'll have to hunt you down and dig out your eyeballs with an ice cream scoop. And trust me, you don't want that.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,859 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 12-17-03 - Published: 11-24-0321. Astrid reviewsI don't really know what this is. I wrote it a few months ago and never uploaded it. About a totally insane girl in a coffee bar. R&R if you want. I'm gonna go get a sandwich.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 12-14-03 - Published: 12-14-0322. Blink of an Eye reviewsIf anyone understands this story, could you please explain it to me? I'm lost. my 50th story on FictionPress. Isn't that wonderful?Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,270 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 12-13-03 - Published: 12-13-0323. Death is in Room 511 reviewsA short, funny play about Death trying to get a room in a motel. Invloves random deaths, what more could you want? Also my third fic whose title begins with the word 'death'. Aren't I special?Play - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 638 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 11-25-03 - Published: 11-25-0324. Edge reviewsA story about a man on a ledge. Literally. If you're looking for drama, spirituality, and deep philosophical thought, you are most definately in the wrong category. But read this anyway. I commandeth thee.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 873 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-21-03 - Published: 11-21-0325. Street Corner reviewsShort stories are good.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 189 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 11-12-03 - Published: 11-12-0326. In the Coat Closet reviewsA guy comes home and finds something rather unexpected in his closet. Guess what it is! No, you're way off. Nope. Stop guessing! Just read it! NOW!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 668 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 11-8-03 - Published: 11-8-0327. I honestly have no idea reviews...caffiene does very strange things at 2 am. Read it, its in SCRIPT FORMAT.Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 11-4-03 - Published: 11-4-0328. Grandfatherly Advice reviewsA teenage boy is visited in the middle of the night by his dead grandparents. And they have some rather. . . interesting advice for him. R&R&D (read and review and die)Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-3-03 - Published: 11-3-0329. Two Minutes to Air reviewsA short play about a very fractured talk show... R&R, I know where you live.Play - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,127 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-1-03 - Published: 11-1-0330. The Somewhat Abridged History of Mankind » reviewsA complete, definitive history of the coolest species on the planet, no matter what all those hippies say. I know it's been done before, but I had to take a stab at it... R&R if you feel so inclined.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-31-03 - Published: 10-30-0331. Death » reviewsA strange short story about death. I wrote a second chapter now... I didn't think I would, but I did. So read it. Now.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,944 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 10-25-03 - Published: 5-23-0332. Floral Rugs and Shotguns » reviewsA script for a twisted mafia movie. Funnier in Italian accents. Read the script Funky Munky called "More entertaining than an open heart surgery performed in Uzbekistan"Play - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,922 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-20-03 - Published: 10-9-0333. Insert title of story reviewsAnother odd short story in my strange style of writing. I guess you could call it humor. Possibly the most anticlimactic thing I've ever written.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-7-03 - Published: 10-7-0334. Smelly Joe reviewsA short little pointless story about WIDESPREAD DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. Or maybe a fish... I forget.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-4-03 - Published: 10-4-0335. Swimming with the Fish » reviewsFor the jocks and the in crowd, High School was the best years of their lives. For the rest of us, it was something more like this. I discontinued this story quite awhile ago, but I uploaded one final chapter for all you weirdos.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,513 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 9-26-03 - Published: 5-21-0336. Lights Out reviewsA semi-short story about a small virus that almost caused an apocolypse. Nice and depressing.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,290 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 9-17-03 - Published: 9-17-0337. Waiting for Intermission reviewsA short funny play about... stuff. Not at all what it seems, so if you dont like it at the beginning, keep reading.Play - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-5-03 - Published: 9-5-0338. Rigor Mortis reviewsA story about two guys working in a morgue- a redo of one of my older stories. Read it. Now. Why are you still reading this summary? You should have clicked on the link by now. I mean it. GO!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,765 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 9-3-03 - Published: 9-3-0339. Gravy Train reviewsA song. 'Kay? 'Kay.Song - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-3-03 - Published: 9-3-0340. The Chartreuse Reticulated Chipmunk » reviewsA tale of love, loss, and muffins. Mostly the last one. This is a spoof of one of those detective movies from the forties and fifties. No more to come. It's done. R&R OR ELSE.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,722 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 7-26-03 - Published: 7-7-0341. The tragic story of Jenkins and his dog Shep reviewsIf you want comedy, suspense, romance, danger, and thrills, then go read another story!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 7-21-03 - Published: 7-21-0342. Arguments with Shakespeare reviewsIs a blueberry muffin not a man? If you prick it, does it not sit there doing absolutely nothing?Historical - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 7-19-03 - Published: 7-19-0343. Dragon Slaying reviewsThe story of Sir Edwin's dragon-slaying thats a bit different. R&R, and maybe I'll let you keep your SOUL.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 453 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7-9-03 - Published: 7-9-0344. Who Controls the Sun? reviewsA strange little story about two guys just talking in the middle of the night. Many women out there are wondering how guys talk when they're alone. Besides about boobs. Here's your answer... besides the boobs.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 7-8-03 - Published: 7-8-0345. Why I'm Not Allowed within 500feet of Eric Estrada reviewsA very random little story about absolutely nothing. R&R, or you don't get any candy.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 344 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-22-03 - Published: 6-22-0346. Book 3: Iceland is also unimportant reviewsThe final part in the Greenland trilogy. It is imperative that you read the first two books before this one.Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-22-03 - Published: 6-22-0347. Book 2: Greenland Remains Unimportant » reviewsBook 2 in the Greenland Cycle. Please read my novel Greenland is unimportant before reading this one. The anticlimactic ending is up, so keep your eyes peeled for Book 3.Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,440 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 6-18-03 - Published: 3-29-0348. The History of the Yo Mama Insult reviewstitle says it allHistorical - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 4-30-03 - Published: 4-30-0349. Damn Wooden Horse reviewsAn account of the Trojan War that's a bit... different. Funnier if you know a bit about "The Aenid," but it's not a necessity.Historical - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 473 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 4-25-03 - Published: 4-25-0350. This story has no point whatsoever reviewsthis is one helluva wierd story. reader beware... i'm not sure why, just BEWARE!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 361 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 4-24-03 - Published: 4-24-0351. A Strange Feeling reviewsI think this is the darkest thing I've written yet.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 4-18-03 - Published: 4-18-0352. Coffee reviewsI honestly don't know what this means. Take whatever you want to from it. Read it. It's good. I think.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 210 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 4-11-03 - Published: 4-11-0353. The Mr Celery Man Show reviewsA talk show starring a piece of celery. It's just as insane as it sounds. R&RHumor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 591 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 4-5-03 - Published: 4-5-0354. Stu reviewsA strange little story about....uh...a guy......named Stu. I may write more, I may leave it like this. I haven't decided yet.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 442 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4-4-03 - Published: 4-4-0355. Greenland is unimportant » reviewsYou'll just have to find out, won't you? THE GRAND FINALE IS UP! Take this last chance to read it now that it's complete! If you liked this, the sequal is now up.Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,002 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 3-24-03 - Published: 3-7-0356. The future is like a baboon reviewsit's got a big red butt and it doesn't smell very good. My strange little funny story about the future. Read it, or I will unleash the Beast on you. What is the Beast? You'll find out if you read the story.Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 462 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-6-03 - Published: 3-6-0357. Joe and the Amazing NonMagical Dreambus » reviewsThe insane epic of Joe Jones and his Amazing Non-Magical Dreambus. Read it, or no enlightenment for you!Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,266 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 2-19-03 - Published: 1-23-0358. Stranger reviewsA serious story. What? I write serious things!Sci-Fi - Fiction Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 455 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 2-8-03 - Published: 2-8-0359. Never Hit a Mayonnaise Jar with a Baseball Bat » reviews...unless you are prepared to be soaked in mayonnaise! These are insane short stories by me, Simon Psyc. I used to upload all my insane short stories separately, but now I've started to put them all in one giant fic. Updates will be frequent, so checkHumor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 675 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 1-16-03 - Published: 1-6-0360. Two Minutes of Your Life You'll Never Get Back reviewsIf you can make sense of this story, you need help.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 12-31-02 - Published: 12-31-0261. Ozzy Osborne should be blasted into space reviewsA dramatic epic of squirrels, radioactive elephants, and people named Phyllis.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 12-30-02 - Published: 12-30-0262. You Should Probably Not Read This Story reviewsThe story of a lobster. Yes, a lobster. You got a problem with that!?Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 12-23-02 - Published: 12-23-0263. Out of Order » reviewsA man with amnesia tries to recall his life. Of course, it ain't quite right. I am constantly uploading new chapters, so don't be dissapointed by the length.General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,118 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-9-02 - Published: 4-30-0164. Hyde » reviewsA rewritten version of Jekyll and Hyde in present day. It's finally finished! Please read it.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,572 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-26-02 - Published: 2-23-0265. Life as a Toilet reviewsit sucks, don't it?Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 2-7-02 - Published: 2-7-0266. Billy Bear reviewsA Children's Story. Read it. What are you waiting far? C'mon! You're mean.Fable - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 4-10-01 - Published: 4-10-01
