Richard Lynch

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email	: Email
since	: 01-31-06, id: 511550, Profile Updated: 05-28-08
country	: United States
web	: Homepage

Author has written 41 stories for Love, General, Haiku, Humor, and Life.

"We're all mad here."

About Me:
Well, there's not too much to say here. I'll start with the basics: I'm a Chemistry major with a minor in Mathematics at a small Pennsylvanian university. I'm twenty years old, and I write poetry as a hobby. I play the piano, I'm a big fan of classical music, and coffee basically runs my life. I'm an atheist and a liberal, and am known for my cynical, if not pessimistic, outlook on virtually everything. In a nutshell, I'm just a modest man with a few interesting views on life.

About My Work:
Some are satirical pieces and parodies, others are nonsense, and a few strange tales. Most people consider my poetry a little bizarre, eerie, and generally dark. I'm mostly known for surreal and nightmarish tales with a nursery rhyme feel to them... but I guess that's for you to decide.

Inspirations/Favorite Poets & Lyricists:
Lewis Carroll
Tom Lehrer
Robert Browning
W. S. Gilbert
Ogden Nash
Edgar Allan Poe

Thanks for stopping by, and pleasant dreams.
- Richard Lynch

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. I Carry Your Heart With Me reviews
A simple parody of the E. E. Cummings poem. It was really just BEGGING for a literal interpretation, I think.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-6-09 - Published: 3-6-09

2. A Christmas Song reviews
Just a little song about the true meaning of Christmas.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 417 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-21-08 - Published: 12-21-08

3. High School Days reviews
Just a bit of small reminiscence of those bright days, which I'm sure we all can relate to.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 354 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-18-08 - Published: 12-18-08

4. Do Not Smoke reviews
As a smoker myself, I feel it is my duty to show just how damaging we smokers can be to society, and this world in general.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-15-08 - Published: 12-15-08

5. The Abortionist reviews
A soft, mellow song about a man everyone knows.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8-5-08 - Published: 8-5-08

6. The Sadism Waltz reviews
This piece hearkens back to my earlier works of satire; it's a loving and romantic waltz of S&M.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-28-08 - Published: 7-28-08

7. Birthday Wishes reviews
A short poem I wrote for my sister's 10th birthday.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-27-08 - Published: 6-27-08

8. The Bombs Will Drop reviews
Just a prototype of my latest poem... I need to refine it. This poem is about the only thing that all humans possibly have in common; that is, going out when the bombs drop.
Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-2-08 - Published: 6-2-08

9. The Tragic Tale of Amy the Botanist reviews
A return to my "Tragic Tale" series, this one which borderlines nonsense.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 414 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-29-08 - Published: 5-29-08

10. Poems, Poems, Everywhere! reviews
A short nonsense poem I wrote on a whim.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-28-08 - Published: 5-28-08

11. Behold the Fish reviews
A parody of Issac Watt's 'Hymn 1', which begins "Behold the glories of the Lamb".
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 49 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-28-08 - Published: 5-28-08

12. I Think My Cat is a Briefcase reviews
Question: does a word necessarily denote meaning?
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-27-08 - Published: 5-27-08

13. Trigonometric Limericks reviews
Simply limericks explaining the six trigonometric functions; part of a series of math poetry in the works, the original two of which I have lost. Oh well.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-27-08 - Published: 5-27-08

14. Limericks reviews
Just a set of six limericks whose content ranges from nonsense to downright sardonic.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-27-08 - Published: 5-27-08

15. It's a Sick Ol' World reviews
A poem that came to me while I was watching Jesus Camp; I happened to be reading "You are Old, Father William" at the time, so I put my pen to work.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 345 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-21-08 - Published: 5-21-08

16. The Nespomonseen reviews
A tribute to Lewis Carrol's "Jabberwocky". I promise that no word is a complete fabrication, and everything does make sense. I'll leave it to the reader to decipher my nonsensical and rather heavy word play, beginning with the title!
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-20-08 - Published: 5-20-08

17. Come, Thou Winter Wind reviews
A simple parody of Shakespeare's "Blow, blow, thou winter wind"
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-20-08 - Published: 5-20-08

18. Three Little Vegans reviews
A playful attack on the fallacies of being a vegan.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-16-08 - Published: 5-16-08

19. The Owl and the Locksmith reviews
A whimsical nonsense/horror poem with an all-too elaborate rhyme scheme.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 325 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-13-08 - Published: 5-13-08

20. The Tragic Tale of Billy the Milksop reviews
A heavily dark tale about a young scaredy cat.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 274 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-12-08 - Published: 5-12-08

21. Contemplations of Apple Sauce reviews
A completely stupid nonsense poem with a random title; has nothing to do with apple sauce.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-8-08 - Published: 5-8-08

22. The Tragic Tale of Jennifer Quick reviews
Yet another "Nightmare Nursery Rhyme"; about a girl whose artwork came to life.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-8-08 - Published: 5-8-08

23. The Slaughterhouse reviews
A poem about a world not too different from our own.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-5-08 - Published: 5-5-08

24. God's Poem reviews
God's dramatic monologue
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 300 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-30-08 - Published: 4-30-08

25. The Tragic Tale of Dominic Doe
A rather dark story of a young boy plagued by hiccups
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 369 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-28-08 - Published: 4-28-08

26. The Two Lovers
A tale about a man's love for a woman.
Complete - Love - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-26-08 - Published: 4-26-08

27. The Tragic Tale of Roger the Bug Boy
A simple tale about a boy with strange tastes in friends.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 395 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-26-08 - Published: 4-26-08

28. The Fox and the Hares reviews
A surreal poem about a family of rabbits who befriend a fox.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 632 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-24-06 - Published: 4-24-06

29. The Tragic Tale of Mindy the Overeater reviews
A dark and slightly morbid tale of a girl who couldn't stop eating candy
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 215 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-21-06 - Published: 4-21-06

30. Useless Catch reviews
A parody of Donne's poem "The Bait", which I had to write for English... hope you like it
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-11-06 - Published: 4-11-06

31. Humanism reviews
Just simply a critique of the human race, from a slightly different perspective
Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 3-30-06 - Published: 3-30-06

32. The Modern Fundamentalist Song reviews
A little song about all of the more... colorful members of our society
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 325 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-27-06 - Published: 2-27-06

33. The Politician's Song reviews
A song about the people we trust to watch our country
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 2-26-06 - Published: 2-26-06

34. She's the One reviews
A short love poem by me... at first it was a funny parody, but now it just seems a bit chilling. You decide.
Complete - Love - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-20-06 - Published: 2-20-06

35. Family Matters reviews
I'm hoping I can get away with this here... a good-natured ode to all of you devoted to your family
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-16-06 - Published: 2-16-06

36. That's Schizophrenia! reviews
A random song sung to a tune by Tom Lehrer
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-12-06 - Published: 2-12-06

37. Angst reviews
My satiric ode to angst/depressed/suicidal haikus
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 2-11-06 - Published: 2-11-06

38. Leaves Fall reviews
My subtle, if not mild, attack on the horribly flawed art of haikus
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-10-06 - Published: 2-10-06

39. The Poet's Ballad reviews
My satiric attack on 'recreational' poetry, the pseudo-poets who author them, and the fallacies of both
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 276 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-10-06 - Published: 2-10-06

40. The Tragic Tale of Bob the Fly reviews
The tragic ballad of a young and ambitious fly
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-10-06 - Published: 2-10-06

41. Let Us Be One reviews
I think my wicked sense of humor shows in this mock-love ballad
Complete - Love - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 2-4-06 - Published: 2-4-06

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