Shocking update (in which Lauren puts her foot in it): I am considering taking down The Disgrace, despite the disappearance of so many reviews, and rewriting it. After all, we had a SKoW nomination once upon a time, and it doesn't seem fair to leave you guys wondering what happens next (if you even remember a time when I actively posted anything for those poor characters).

So, keep an eye out, and watch for updates. I'll also be posting this on the story itself to get interest going, you know, because I'm a review/attention slut and I can't help myself.

- Murphy -

SECOND NOTE: I am now in college full-time and will have to make my studies my top priority, as I'm paying large sums of money to be here. If I update even more infrequently than I have in the past, I apologize... but that's life. Thanks. :)

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME IN REVIEWS WHEN I WILL UPDATE A STORY LIKE "LIFE'S LITTLE CHANCES" OR ANY OF THE OTHER SLIGHTLY ABANDONED CREATIONS ON HERE. Scroll down and eventually you will come to a list of my stories and their current status, and at the bottom of the page you can find a (more current) list of what I'm working on at the moment. Thank you!!

Every generation gets a chance to change the world
Pity the nation that won't listen to your boys and girls
Cos the sweetest melody is the one we haven't heard
Is it true that perfect love drives out all fear?
The right to appear ridiculous is something I hold dear
Oh, but a change of heart comes slow

It's not a hill, it's a mountain
As you start out the climb
Listen for me, I'll be shouting
We're gonna make it all the way to the light
But you know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

— "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight", U2

the picture

ties in with my story, the unforgettable fire and the fire which launches the story. read more to know more

the person

general

name : Lauren Colleen (Lauren from the Latin meaning “victory, fame, laurels”, Colleen from the Irish meaning “girl”)

answers to : Lolo, Mackey, MacKay, Puddin’, Creeper, “Hey, you”, and many other interesting (read: rude) names

is a : self-confessed chocoholic and spelling-and-grammar dork

looks like : your average teenager—about five-foot-eight, a dye-job redhead with mischievous, colour-changing (don’t ask me why, I’m a writer, not a scientist) blue eyes and a birth mark on the left shoulder

age : 19 years old

maturity level : much lower than eighteen years old

vocabulary level : much higher than eighteen years old... in fact, often from a different century—and sometimes country—altogether

likes : reading, writing, music, desserts, chocolate, chocolate milk, time with friends, long walks, fall, ice cream, sleeping, arguing for argument’s sake, well-written FP stories

dislikes : two of my three brothers, chores, sleep deprivation, dishes, stress, fights, alcoholism, drug abuse, dishonesty, people who forget the purpose of spell check, Mondays, carpal tunnel syndrome, headaches, broken glasses, classes, silent readers (seriously, anything works!), and many, many other things

needs to : stop sleeping through class... while still in bed...

will have to : equip herself with a whole lot of caffeine

writes because : it’s an escape from an often irritating reality; also, has tried and failed to stop

has written since : June of 2004

has problems with : focusing (damn you, ADHD!), holding my tongue, finishing one story before beginning another, temper (specifically, loses it a lot)

known for : randomness, bursting into song at often inopportune moments, politically incorrect comments

can be made a slave with : Mom’s rocky road brownies, nearly any other form of chocolate

would do anything for : friends, most members of my sprawling, dysfunctional family

other unnecessary info

favourite music : U2, Taylor Swift, Runrig, Against Me!, the Calling, Rise Against, Lady Antebellum, David Gray, Sarah McLachlan, Dido, Great Big Sea, Snow Patrol, Switchfoot, Shinedown, My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Muse, Fall Out Boy, Anberlin, Carolina Liar, the All-American Rejects, Dave Matthews Band, Marianas Trench (they're Canadian!!), a lot of oldies (“Footloose”, “American Pie”, “Shout”, “Love Shack”, etc.)
(um, yeah, I don’t discriminate.)

favourite songs from some of the aforementioned groups/artists :
U2—Stay (Faraway, So Close!); Walk On; Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of; Sunday Bloody Sunday; Mysterious Ways; Even Better Than The Real Thing; Bullet The Blue Sky; Where The Streets Have No Name; I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For; Desire; The Unforgettable Fire; Bad; A Sort of Homecoming; Seconds; New Year's Day; Electrical Storm; Pride (In The Name Of Love); Magnificent; Unknown Caller; Get On Your Boots; Moment of Surrender; I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight;and God there are so many more.. just all of them, really. Teehee.

Taylor Swift—You’re Not Sorry; You Belong with Me; The Way I Loved You; Breathe; Should’ve Said No; Picture to Burn; White Horse; Tied Together With a Smile

Runrig—Proterra; Running to the Light; The Old Boys; Loch Lomond; In Search of Angels; The Greatest Flame; Empty Glens; Alba; Great Wall of China

Against Me!—Thrash Unreal; Stop; Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart (feat. Tegan Quinn)

the Calling—Wherever You Will Go; Nothing’s Changed; We’re Not Forgiven; Unstoppable; Adrienne; Stigmatized; Could This Be Any Harder; Final Answer (basically the entire Camino Palmero album)

Rise Against—Prayer of the Refugee; Audience of One; The Good Left Undone; Swing Life Away; Ready To Fall

Lady Antebellum—Love Don’t Live Here; Slow Down Sister; Long Gone; Lookin’ For a Good Time; I Run To You

David Gray—Please Forgive Me; Babylon

Sarah McLachlan—Ice Cream; World On Fire; U Want Me 2; Angel; Black and White; Sweet Surrender; Building A Mystery; Witness

Dido—White Flag; Here With Me; Don’t Think of Me; Isobel; Thank You

Great Big Sea—When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down); Ordinary Day; Fast as I Can; Boston and St. John’s; How Did We Get From Saying I Love You…; The Chemical Worker’s Song (Process Man); Can't Stop Falling; Captain Wedderburn; Recruiting Sargeant; When I Am King

Snow Patrol—Take Back The City; Crack the Shutters; Set Down Your Glass; Disaster Button; Chasing Cars; Hands Open; Make This Go On Forever; Set the Fire to the Third Bar (feat. Martha Wainwright); It’s Beginning to Get to Me; If There’s a Rocket Tie Me to It; The Lightning Strike; Run

Switchfoot—Dare You to Move; Meant to Live; Awakening; This is Home; Stars

Shinedown—Save Me; I Dare You; Second Chance; Call Me; If You Only Knew; Some Day; Shed Some Light; What A Shame

My Chemical Romance—Teenagers; I’m Not Okay (I Promise); Cemetery Drive; Desolation Row; I Don’t Love You; Disenchanted; Famous Last Words; The Ghost of You

Linkin Park—Hands Held High; The Little Things Give You Away; Shadow of the Day; One Step Closer; Numb; In the End; With You

Muse—Sing for Absolution; Starlight; Supermassive Black Hole; Hysteria; Time Is Running Out; Knights of Cydonia

Fall Out Boy—Dance, Dance; Sugar, We’re Going Down; I’m Like a Lawyer, With the Way I Get You Off (You & Me); I Don’t Care; This Ain’t A Scene (It’s an Arms Race)

the All-American Rejects—Move Along; Dirty Little Secret; Breakin’; Gives You Hell; Damn Girl; Another Heart Calls; Dance Inside; Stab My Back; Swing Swing; Time Stands Still; The Last Song; Kiss Yourself Goodbye

Dave Matthews Band—Crash Into Me; Say Goodbye

Marianas Trench—Say Anything; Shake Tramp; Low; Push; Acadia; Beside You; All To Myself; Cross My Heart; Celebrity Status; Perfect

favourite foods : spaghetti, Coquille St. Jacques, garlic shrimp, anything chocolate, cookies (of damn near any variety)

favourite drinks : milk, Bailey’s (with the milk!), eggnog (with the Bailey’s!), screwdrivers, Brown Cows (Kahlua & milk), chocolate milk

favourite books : Twilight series, The Host (Stephenie Meyer, duh); Atonement (Ian McEwan); The Wreckage (Michael Crummey), The Irish Century Series (Morgan Llywelyn, aka my source for all things Irish); The Horse Whisperer & The Smoke Jumper (Nicholas Evans); Tithe, Valiant & Ironside (Holly Black); Do They Wear High Heels in Heaven? (Erica Orloff); The Horse's Shadow (Lawrence Scanlan); Outlander series (Diana Gabaldon)

quotes for your amusement, entertainment, and so on...

famous-people quotes

Women are meant to be loved, not understood. — Oscar Wilde

Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. — Dr. Seuss

If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself. — Joseph Farrell

Before you speak, think of what you're trying to say. / Who else is there to blame for miscommunication? — from the song "Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart" by Against Me! (featuring Tegan Quinn)

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. — Ambrose Bierce

Sometimes you just have to claw at the world, you know? You have to make things come right or die trying. — spoken by Síle Duffy in 1916 by Morgan Llywelyn

Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde

But we ran away / Now all my friends are gone / Maybe we've outgrown all the things we once loved
... We're all okay, until the day we're not / The surface shines, / While the inside rots / We raced the sunset and / We almost won / We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on... — from the song "Audience of One" by Rise Against

When life gives you lemons, find someone whose life gave them tequila and throw a party.
— unknown...

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.
— Cathy Guisewite

Actually, I wear the nail polish to hide how grubby my nails are.
— Caroline Corr (from Irish band The Corrs)

Everybody gets too drunk sometimes; and even if everybody didn't, I have gotten too drunk sometimes. I haven't hurt anybody. In Ireland we drink a lot. It's part of our culture. I like drinking. I don't think it's a bad thing.
— Andrea Corr (from Irish band The Corrs, again)

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
— Oscar Wilde (yeah there are lots of his)

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
— Oscar Wilde

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe...
— Albert Einstein

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
— Oscar Levant

Writing is one of the few professions in which you can psychoanalyze yourself, get rid of hostilities and frustrations in public, and get paid for it.
— Octavia Butler

Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.
— Moliere
(for the record, I’m only at the close-friends stage. lol)

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
— Ray Bradbury

Being a writer is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.
— Graycie Harmon

I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.
— Oscar Wilde

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.
— E. L. Doctorow

“me-and-my-friends” quotes (fame is overrated)

“Sorry, you were in my butt. What?”
— Courtney answering her mom when she didn’t hear her two-way because her phone was in her back pocket

“Quick, run away from Francis!” ((falls))
— me, trying to run away from Francis before he could see we’d stuck a pad to the hood of their old truck (we’d had a few drinks at this point, haha)

me : ((pointing at a white truck with the City of Kingston logo on it)) “Can I touch that truck?”
Courtney : “Well, Lauren, you could, except that’s a city truck. You see that glowing blue light on the dash? That would be the anti-theft. You touch that truck and the cops would be here in like four seconds to throw your ass in jail.”
me : ((long pause)) “… Right. Not touching the truck.”
— me and Courtney while walking to Tim Horton’s in Kingston (I’d had a few drinks at this point)

“Hey, I’m not doing anything. I’m just making farting noises with my hands.”
— Devan when the English teacher wandered to the back of the class, where a few of us were getting into a pretty heated debate

Courtney : ((standing on a desk in a classroom, singing)) “Oh, Canada...” ((wobbles, then falls off desk))
Josee : “I have that on camera!”
— an incident during a school function that involved Courtney standing on a desk, singing, then falling off the desk. Josee (here known as Freedom Lasts Forever 2008) was lucky enough to capture the moment of hilarity on video.

“You with the face! Where are yoooooooooooou?”
— my friend Shauna (Dilly dally shilly shally to the rest of you FP peoples) trying to reach me online when I was gone, and had indicated this. She tried anyways.

Mom : ((cooing at my little sister as she picks her up to feed her)) “Yes, you're just like your daddy, you're always looking at my boobs.”
me : ((clapping hands over ears)) “Mom! Did NOT need to hear that!”
— my mom talking to my little sister. She said that on purpose, just to creep me out, and damn her, it worked.

more to come; trust me, there’re way too many to believe…

random facts
look, there's one for every year I've been on this glorious, stinking, decaying planet! :D

1 . I am left-handed. I also write so much that I've developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and the stupid doctor refuses to treat me. Happy now?

2 . My toenails are currently painted dark purple; I painted it over a bright red the other day because I was wearing open-toed shoes to a funeral and didn't think bright red toes to be appropriate.

3 . I would be a terrible, terrible vegetarian. I adore hamburgers. But I'd live off fish if I could. Cod rocks my (non-matching) socks.

4 . Despite only being 18 (now 19), I've already discovered that you really can count your best friends on one hand.

5 . Lots of my friends think I'm living in the wrong time and country; they think I should have been born in Ireland, in the late nineteenth century, so that I could fight in the Easter Rising in Dublin. I'm inclined to agree.

6 . My family is loud, noisy, interfering, and very close to the edge of madness, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

7 . Eyeliner scares the holy bejeezus out of me. So I don't wear it unless I'm strapped down and the stuff is forcibly applied. Mascara and I, on the other hand, have reached a cautious understanding.

8 . I couldn't be politically correct if my life depended on it.

9 . In my grade 10 history class, I corrected a student teacher on the date of the battle of Passchendaele. He despised me after that, but I still got 85 percent or higher on all the assignments he marked me on.

10 . I live for contradiction.

11 . I have nothing against cliches, so long as they're well written. After all, if they didn't have a basis in fact, they wouldn't have hung around for so long.

12 . My socks rarely, if ever, match. If I can't find socks, I wear flip flops. At least, from May to October I do. This is Canada, and I'm a writer, not a freaking lunatic.

13 . I am capable of providing a summary of twentieth-century Irish history, in detail, in ten minutes or less, without needing something to refer to. (To quote poor Mr. Tweedy from Chicken Run, “It’s all in me head.”)

14 . I am among the privileged few people capable of tripping over absolutely NOTHING.

15 . Crossing my eyes gives me a headache, so I don't do it very often.

16 . It takes a lot of work to get me drunk, then I sober up quickly, and then I happily escape the misery of the hangover. Yay me!

17 . My right ankle is a complete sissy. I sprained it when I was 13, waited two days to have it checked out 'cause I didn't think it was that serious (and I wanted to win the race I was running when I twisted it), and now it totally spazzes out when I put some effort into running. Sheesh.

18 . I sing in the barn. The horses think I'm off-key, but as long as they get their hay, they don't care if I belt out Bohemian Rhapsody while I shove pitchfork-fulls of the stuff into their feeders.

19. I have somehow managed to sprain each ankle at least three times. No, I am not particularly athletic... I'm just accident prone.

the stories

full-length stories

a cold grey dawn : in progress, slowly; paused at the moment

a non-prep’s complete guide to pissing off a prep : in progress, again, slowly

capture the crown : very possibly discontinued

letters to my father : considered temporarily complete

life’s little chances : on hold indefinitely

my sunshine : prequel of sorts to a cold grey dawn; in progress, slowly

not quite : in progress, again, slowly

sins of the father : in progress, newest story added

the disgrace : on hold, possibly discontinued

the unforgettable fire : in progress, actually moving well; currently most updated

strong links : first story ever, not well-written, but complete

stronger than ever : second story, sequel to strong links, still not very well-written; complete

worst nightmare : on hold, possibly discontinued

one-shots/collections of one-shots

alkali metals, highlighter wars & everything in between : complete

fairytale : complete

i watch : complete

life’s little chances: memory lane : goes with life’s little chances; series of one-shots about characters; may be added to

life’s little chances: wake up call : goes with life’s little chances; preview of later in the story; complete

over one shoulder: a look at the past and future : goes with a non-prep’s complete guide to pissing off a prep; series of one-shots about characters

say goodbye : based on song of same name by Dave Matthews Band; complete

time : sequel to i watch; complete

currently working on
as of 9/13/2009

a cold grey dawn
chapter 12 ("Twilight") posted; chapter 13 in progress

the unforgettable fire
chapter 19 posted; chapter 20 in progress

sins of the father
chapter four ("Dare You To Move") posted; chapter five (as yet untitled) in progress

a non prep’s complete guide to pissing off a prep
chapter 10 (title "Say What?", James's POV) posted; nothing written for chapter 11 yet

--NOTE: I am now in college full-time and will have to make that my priority. If I don't update, please don't get mad at me. Also, I'm very sorry, but I sincerely doubt that I'll be updating Life's Little Chances any time soon. I might, however, eventually edit it, but for now, this is highly unlikely. Thanks.--

If you made it through all that silly rambling (I got bored, okay?), I applaud you. Now, please go read the stories. I hope you’ll enjoy them, and please, review. Silent readers frustrate the daylights out of me.
— Murphy