Hello fellow writers. I am just a boy trying to get some truthful critique of my work. I know I like it. The question is, how can it be improved? I have a love for poetry, but I test the waters of stories as well.

My favorites are any of the "Thunder on Pavement" series, along with "I Killed Tonight", "Lightning Over the Bay", and "Civility".

Thank you in advance for any reviews you wish to give me, and I will certainly return the favor.

-Hartman

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Painted Elephants and Portioned Keys reviews

A piece about music and it's healing quality.

Complete - Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-9-07 - Published: 5-9-07

2. A Walk at Night

A young man sneaks out of the house to meet the girl he loves.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 189 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-11-06 - Published: 9-11-06

3. Woman in White reviews

Life can change so quickly by the sea. Please R&R.

Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 210 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-10-06 - Published: 9-10-06

4. Night Dancing reviews

Losing control isn't always bad. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 50 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-10-06 - Published: 9-10-06

5. Forever

A woman with a problem has pushed away the only man she ever loved. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-10-06 - Published: 9-10-06

6. The Other Son

The weight of expectation can be dangerous at times. Please R&R.

Family - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 49 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-10-06 - Published: 9-10-06

7. New World reviews

The search begins at the bottom of the mountain. Please R&R.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-9-06 - Published: 9-9-06

8. Rose

The Rose must persevere before it's beauty can be fully shown. Please R&R.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-9-06 - Published: 9-9-06

9. I Could reviews

I could, but it hurts. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-9-06 - Published: 9-9-06

10. A Visit at Midnight

The door should have stayed closed. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-9-06 - Published: 9-9-06

11. Grape Arbor

A grape arbor's sinful purity is visited by a lonely wanderer by night. Please R&R.

Religion - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-6-06 - Published: 9-6-06

12. Lost at Sea

A man waits for his wife at sea. It's been so long. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-6-06 - Published: 9-6-06

13. Return to Shore

I thought she was gone forever. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-6-06 - Published: 9-6-06

14. Blind reviews

Sometimes, blindness is the only way to cope. Please R&R.

Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 45 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-4-06 - Published: 9-4-06

15. Reflections of Twilight Passed

An inward reflection of a childhood passed. Please R&R.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-4-06 - Published: 9-4-06

16. The Riverside I Left Behind reviews

A mistake must be mended bfore it's too late. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-4-06 - Published: 9-4-06

17. Separation

Sometimes, separation is the only way to find our cloudless sky. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-2-06 - Published: 9-2-06

18. Revision

A poem about a lonely love song. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-2-06 - Published: 9-2-06

19. Amy's Secret

Near river bend where the stream runs clear, I caught a secret that I couldn't say. Please R&R

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 8-28-06 - Published: 8-28-06

20. Cross of the Soul reviews

My grandfather shows a priest his view.

Religion - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-25-06 - Published: 8-25-06

21. Justice reviews

Justice cannot always be objective. Please R&R.

Politics - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-9-06 - Published: 8-9-06

22. The Cliche' Evil

In retrospect, a dumb name. But I like the idea. Please read and review!

Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 8-7-06 - Published: 8-7-06

23. Hold It Up To The Light reviews

A simple poem about looking at lost love in a diffrent way. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-31-06 - Published: 7-31-06

24. Frozen in the snow reviews

Spring doesn't always come. Please R&R.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-27-06 - Published: 7-27-06

25. Lucid reviews

A simple poem abot sunset and what it means to me.Please R&R. And by all means, If you like it, read some more! Wow, shameful.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-20-06 - Published: 7-20-06

26. What We Could Be

How great we could be, if only both sides wished to work. This is about the pain of one man who want's to work and the woman who doesn't. Please R&R.

Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-11-06 - Published: 7-11-06

27. War In EMinor reviews

A little poem I wrote two years ago in protest of the war.

War - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-11-06 - Published: 7-11-06

28. I Killed Tonight reviews

"I killed a man tonight. He was standing at the window, wishing to be someone else." Please R&R.

General - Fiction Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-11-06 - Published: 7-11-06

29. Shards reviews

Have you ever looked at your life through the mirror? Please R&R. I'll return the favor.

Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-10-06 - Published: 7-10-06

30. 4 Thunder on Pavement: The Mountaintop reviews

Part 4. Read the others first. Hope you like it!

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 238 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-10-06 - Published: 7-10-06

31. Fields of Silence

A visit to Gettysburg

War - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-10-06 - Published: 7-10-06

32. 3 Thunder on Pavement: Memory Rain reviews

Third part of the Thunder on Pavement series. I would strongly suggest reading the first two. Hope you like it!

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-10-06 - Published: 7-10-06

33. 2 Thunder on Pavement: Painted Plains reviews

The 2nd part of an ongoing series. The lovers decide to stop in a valley to rest before continuing on. They realize the importance of silence in this land. More to come.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-9-06 - Published: 7-9-06

34. 1 Thunder on Pavement: Do What You Love reviews

Two lovers are on a journey to find a home.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-9-06 - Published: 7-9-06

35. Ground Zero reviews

A boy comes away from a crash with less than what he gave. He stands as the symbol of teen restlessness. Please R&R.

Religion - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 7-9-06 - Published: 7-9-06

36. The Storm reviews

A storm brings forth the thoughts of a young man. Very descrptive and beautiful. Please R&R.

General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 882 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-9-06 - Published: 7-9-06

37. Contract reviews

A writer has his vision stripped away by a man in a suit and a slip of paper. He has to do somthing. He doesn't know what he might do if Gabriel refuses again.

General - Fiction Rated: M - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,142 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-8-06 - Published: 7-8-06

38. Swallowed reviews

A boy fights with his own mind over the dissappearance of his father into the woods. His life is falling apart around him in his little mountain town and he needs to act. Please review!

Supernatural - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,749 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-7-06 - Published: 7-7-06

39. Life reviews

Life in my eyes. Please read!

Life - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-5-06 - Published: 7-5-06

40. Dreams in Chalk reviews

I am visited every night by a boy who knows my dreams. Knows them and paints them on the asphalt outside my window.

Mystery - Fiction Rated: K - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,545 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-5-06 - Published: 7-5-06

41. Warning reviews

A man gets an unconventional warning

Spiritual - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06

42. Civility reviews

The civility of war: The ultimate wrong

War - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06

43. The Wanderer's Thumb reviews

A boy stares out to sea from an aged pier.

Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06

44. Lightning Over the Bay reviews

A storm over the bay becomes the story of thier life together.

Love - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-4-06