Why, hello!
I might as well do this thing while I'm still feeling uber fantasically sarcastic.
So how are you sexy beasts today? Or tonight, really...It's two minutes to midnight...
So I WAS known as soulsucker, as some of you may know if you were listening to Angel of Avarice's wonderful praising of me. But then I realized that I don't actually commence in the sucking of souls...so that kind of renders the name pointless. Seriously, I don't even know where the name came from. I don't even have a slight want to suck anyone's...soul. How does one exactly go about sucking a soul anyway? Haha, that reminds me of Donnie Darko.
"Oh yeah? Tell me, how exactly does one suck a fuck?!"
Ahahahaha...ha. I'm...definitely digressing.
So, as Angel of Avarice will be strongly willing to scream at the top of her lungs, I am extremely horrible at putting stories on here and updating them. I'm sure if I did, she'd gush about them like she does everyone else's but...:hangs head: she doesn't. :sniffles: Ah, well. I need to work on that. It's just...I'm busy.
:snort: Okay, okay. Even I know that's a load of really hot, steamy, dung beetle-covered dinosaur shit. Ew. Bad Jurassic Park imagery. Sorry folks. Heh.
Truth be told, I write more when there's other stuff I should be doing. Like, for a beautiful shining diamond of an example, I have a five chapter test to do in three days. And yet, I am here gracing you with my gorgeous internet presence. Irony is my whore.
ANYWAY. If you are going to actually take the time to read my stories (in which case I will douse you with numerous creepy, unwanted kisses from telegram midgets) please, PLEASE, review. As rarely motivated as I am to write, reviewing definitely helps to hurry the process. And I'm pretty sure if you don't review and I know you don't, that Angel of Avarice will kick your ass for me. And she is one tough motherf-
:cough: Sorry children. I almost said a naughty word. (psst, ignore all the other dirty words, okay?!)
DIGRESSING! Since Angel of Avarice did one of these cute little bio thingies, I will too. Because I'm unoriginal. Hee.
Age: Soooo close to being legal in the US. It's friggin' ridiculous!
Height: Tall enough to be yo mama! Ohhhh snap?
Gender: I'm gonna let it bother you if you can't figure it out.
Job: Uhm...what? No, seriously, I didn't hear you. Repeat the question?
Hobbies: Licking bars of soap. Sniffing "clean breeze" air freshners. I have real ones but I'm tired of being unoriginal so bear with me, normal folk!
Fears: Getting raped by Angel of Avarice's sexy ass while she watches. Midget clowns. Now that last one's real. Those motherf-f-f-fuhs are scary!
Quote: "Fur reals? Like o.m.g. totally!" Yeah, no, kidding. Shoot that valley girl.
Population: 2, me and Adam, the boy in the abandoned mansion that cut his face up with glass and stitched his wounds back together. We've been telepathically connected since 2004! I'm totally fucking serious. Ask anyone. Well, who knows me.
Best pick-up line: "Take me to your leader!"
Favorite food: Ground-up Smarties
YAY! I did it. Applaud for me. Shut up crickets, I can't hear you over the overwhelming applause!!
And now: :drum roll: A SOLO LOVE POST FOR ANGEL OF AVARICE (only 'cuz I have no other friends on here...:sob:)
Angel of Avarice is a sexy beast whose ass I'd like to take a mega bite out of and I AM her abusive lover and really...really...REALLY awesome. Heh. Oh, but, yeah, wait, not about me, got it. I love you dear! I love you like a goth boy loves vampire whores and like a heroin addict loves...well, heroin, I guess. Yeah. And if you've changed your s/n then this is all in vain because no one's gonna have any idea who I'm talking about. Tear.
LOVE POST OVER!
Now go read stories! Preferably my stories but...meh, do what you will. Love you.
Really. I do. I love you. :licks lips:
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